A generated romance for the ages

What have you done now there is more we can do on this thread I'm never going to sleep tonight am I? Help... Help...

That sounds almost identical to one of my former relationships. Cheating bastard.

You know what's especially impressive about these things? I can just read a single paragraph from any of these, and it would amuse me a ridiculous amount.

Btw, what's an OP?

Original Post, or Original Poster. Either the first post of a thread, or a specific post that you're referring back to in conversation (in a quote or something).

I... I'm so proud of my creation ç________ç This drabble created a better fanfiction about Umineko that I expected!

I'm Dreaming Of A Red Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Battler sat surprisingly in the guesthouse, sipping killer eggnog.

He looked at the crazy culprit hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Ronove had hung it there, just before they looked at each other carefully and then fell into each other's arms and stabbed each other's knee.

If only I hadn't been so demonic, Battler thought, pouring a blue amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Ronove might not have got so misterious and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a true tear and held his chest in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a magical voice lifted lovingly up in song.

I'm dreaming of a red Christmas

Just like a murderer who shot the victim in the parlor with a shotgun

Battler ran to the door. It was Ronove, looking cunning all over with snow.

"I missed you suddendly," Ronove said. "And I wanted to stab your knee again."

Battler hugged Ronove and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Ronove said.

"I think so too," Battler said and they stabbed each other's knee until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted seagull head and lived wistfully until Battler got drunk again.

Best Umineko fanfic I've EVER READ *gross sobbing*

Right? The culprit hanging on the christmas tree suits Umineko's atmosphere su much XD

From the Animamundi thread:

Thus, I present you with:

Not enough, you say?

I really wish there was a third partner option. :(

I DIED

DIED

WHY IS THERE NO LOVE BUTTON

/laughing uncontrollably IRL

The fact that it's post number 88 makes it even gently caress-ing better (my birthday is 8/8). BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER.

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY, WAIFU

I also can't stop laughing. Can't.

Why did I not know about this?
Anyway, no one generates Norse mythology themed yaoi of me but me!
The Adventure Of The Fenrir

Freyr and Failure Hero were out for an ice-cold Valentine's walk on a hunchbacked demi-god. As they went, Failure Hero rested his hand on Freyr's back hair. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so sticky, Freyr was filled with over-compensating dread.

"Do you suppose it's rubenesque here?" he asked stickily.

"You dynamite silly," Failure Hero said, tickling Freyr with his Einherjar. "It's completely glacial."

Just then, a flammable Fenrir leapt out from behind a Jotun and licked Failure Hero in the middle toe. "Aaargh!" Failure Hero screamed.

Things looked glorious. But Freyr, although he was videotronic, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a dick and, like the shadow cast by a Jotun's towering manhood, beat the Fenrir fucktastically until it ran off. "That will teach you to lick innocent people."

Then he clasped Failure Hero close. Failure Hero was bleeding destructively. "My darling," Freyr said, and pressed his lips to Failure Hero's head lice.

"I love you," Failure Hero said awesomely, and expired in Freyr's arms.

Freyr never loved again.

Look who just found a new avatar!

That self-insert generator is amazing. My entire day just vanished before my eyes.

Tappei-san/Broken Forum is a-go.

I hope you guys realize I'm trying to do one involving me and Amanohashi. Just to make everything meta.

Question is, what gender do I put myself as? Female because that makes the most sense or male because that would be fucking hilarious?

Also, Donmai, that's becoming my new desktop background once I get to my computer.

I JUST CAN'T STOP *sob*

And now, for some hawt St. Germant/Bruno action. Rather NSFW action, really. <3

Bacon torpedo. BACON FREAKING TORPEDOES.

Kaneda you evil, evil genius. Please do link this gloriousness in the Animamundi thread. It's so beautiful. *gross sobbing* So beautiful...

I swear I'm stopping now.

(and yes, I'll link to these in the Animamundi thread, don't worry. <3)

Ihihihi.

My little sister (who's also played Animamundi :D) is laughing herself to death at these and wondering why the hell are you shipping Georik with King Hardland and Bruno with St. Germant. I hope you're happy.

Also I can almost imagine Battle for the Hairbrush happening in canon. Almost.

Tell your sister's ghost that crack pairings are the best thing ever. Even moreso in a game involving naked men gently caressing each other.

And the Battle for the Hairbrush totally happened in my headcanon. Including the pocket rocket fondling. Specially the pocket rocket fondling.

This is where I lost it.

I'm done.

Dead and buried.

Ok Utena is another big fandom of mine, so let's see what it comes out:

The Battle For The Rose

In the car, Touga undressed his rose. He had been busy with the rose for hours and now wanted nothing more than a hairless cuddle or a sexy massage from his lover Akio.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his revolutionary Akio appeared at the door, grinning obscurely.

"Put down the rose," Akio said incoherenlty. "Unless you want me to undress that rose on your dick."

Touga put down the rose. He was fantastic. He had never seen Akio so flamboyant before and it made him masculine.

Akio picked up the rose, then withdrew a sword from his hair. "Don't be so fantastic," Akio said with a flamboyant grimace. "A Chu-Chu bit my nipple this morning, and everything became fabulous. Now with this rose and this sword I can incoherenlty rule the world!"

Touga clutched his sparkling nipple briefly. This was his lover, his revolutionary Akio, now staring at him with a flamboyant hair.

"Fight it!" Touga shouted. "The Chu-Chu just wants the rose for his own revolutionary devices! He doesn't love you, not the hairless way I do!"

Touga could see Akio trembling briefly. Touga reached out his dick and touched Akio's hair incoherenlty. He was revolutionary, so revolutionary, but he knew only his sparkling love for Akio would break the Chu-Chu's spell.

Sure enough, Akio dropped the rose with a thunk. "Oh, Touga," he squealed. "I'm so hairless, can you ever forgive me?"

But Touga had already moved in the car. Like the "sword" I'm shoving inside your "rose", he pressed his dick into Akio's hair. And as they fell together in a fabulous fit of love, the rose lay on the floor, masculine and forgotten.




... Well, this fanfic still makes more sense that the actual story XD

Okay, you asked for it. Because I'm so generous, I was kind enough to generate two: One where I'm female, and another where I'm male. You're welcome.

This was so accurate there are no words.

IT'S ALL MARY SUE PEDO VAN'S FAULT THEY STILL EXIST SOUND THE ALARM STOP THE PRESSES

I have more.

This is so perfect it hurts.

OH GOD WHY

I regret everything.

I love you, Randi. Never regret anything.

I hope you're happy with this because there is no possible cure or healing my soul can ever undergo now.

So obviously, it's time to go run this through the self-insert generator. Lord help us all.

And you're right. I don't regret a thing. I feel shame, though. So much shame.

Randissimo, there's no words to express the pain and laughter you made me live through.

Just doing my job, no need to thank me.

And now, for my favorite pair on the Animamundi thread!

Help me, I'm shipping these two and calling it AnimamundiLPshipping HELP ME

I tried to make one and it turned into porn. Horrible, horribe porn. Why am I not surprised ?

POST IT.

Uh. You asked for this, I'm not responsible.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL I'M GETTING LIGHT-HEADED FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH

Where I ship my boyfriend and starcraft :

Dangan Ronpa yaoi. Tee hee.

The Maltese Prince

Ishimaru was walking through a precise meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an unsociable little Maltese lying under a tree.

Ishimaru skipped over to see the dear thing and was awkward to find that he was hurt! A seme had pierced his leathery little pompadour and he whimpered tsunderely with the pain.

"My manly little friend," Ishimaru said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the seme, as sweatily as he could. The Maltese cried out and Ishimaru's heart ached, like a manly princess riding a flaming unicorn across the sky. "You'll be all right," Ishimaru whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mondo and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Mondo up in his arms, Ishimaru carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Ishimaru nursed Mondo, cleaning his pompadour and feeding him Sauna-brand Maltese chow.

On the eighth night, Mondo climbed into bed with Ishimaru. He burrowed under the covers and cantankerously radiated Ishimaru's hand. It made Ishimaru giggle and he cuddled close to Mondo, stroking his leg and singing passionately to him.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Ishimaru hurried home so he could curl up with Mondo. It gave him a flaming feeling whenever Mondo radiated his hand.

Then one night, Mondo looked up at Ishimaru and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a hot-blooded prince."

Ishimaru screamed gaily, he was so surprised. How could a Maltese talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Mondo said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Ishimaru said and kissed Mondo on his leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a hot-blooded prince! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Prince Mondo," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Ishimaru said.

"See?" Mondo said and showed Ishimaru the scar from the seme on his pompadour. Then he kissed Ishimaru and they tumbled by the rules and did a lot of very angry things, some of them involving a sweaty aniki.

"I love you," Mondo said when they were done. Ishimaru clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Mondo had stashed away.

And if Mondo didn't know about Ishimaru's visits to the Maltese sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.

I tried the self-insert thingy with my character and my friend's character.

....................

That was... So exact. I'm even scared.

...I got nothing. Wait, did Slenderman lose an arm?

Yes. Yes he did.

I'm not Sorry.

HOW DOES SLENDERMAN LOSE AN ARM?!

Still a better love story than Twilight

To be fair, some depictions of him have it that he doesn't even have arms, only tentacles. Which may or may not be worse.