A generated romance for the ages

Sofalisa · Jan 27, 2013

Syncronicity said: ↑

Still a better love story than Twilight

It feels like they took the romantic part of my story and Twilighted it.

Anxifera · Jan 28, 2013

Hey guys, what's going on in this thr-

Sofalisa · Jan 28, 2013

Anxifera said: ↑

Hey guys, what's going on in this thr-

Perfect gif.

Kaneda · Jan 28, 2013

...I still kinda can't get over having been shipped. So awkward hilarious, man.

Ahem. So do you remember when I said I would stop? That was a lie. A filthy lie.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: Mephistopheles and Georik

Mephistopheles and Georik
by William Shakespeare

Enter Mephistopheles

Georik appears above at a window

Mephistopheles:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the nail, and Georik is the Lillith.
Arise, harebrained Lillith, and cacophonously embrace the bizarre lipstick.
See, how he leans his trouser flute upon his demonic bum!
O, that I were a glove upon that demonic bum,
That I might touch that trouser flute!

Georik:
O Mephistopheles, Mephistopheles! wherefore art thou Mephistopheles?
What's in a name? That which we call a deformed shoulder
By any other name would smell as deranged
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "just like Bruno's lack of eyebrows"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove preposterous.

Mephistopheles:
Swain, by yonder bizarre lipstick I swear
That tips in Hell the graceful wig--

Georik:
O, swear not by the lipstick, the horny lipstick,
That vigorously changes in its unhinged orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise unhinged.
Sweet, ardent night! A thousand times ardemt night!
Parting is such WHAT THE FUCK inducing sorrow,
That I shall say ardemt night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Mephistopheles:
Sleep dwell upon thy trouser flute, peace in thy demonic bum!
Would I were sleep and peace, so absurdly to rest!
enthusiastically will I to my harebrained deformed shoulder's cell,
Its help to cacophonously embrace, and my deranged deformed shoulder to tell.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: A Nail In Time

On an ardent and horny morning, Mephistopheles sat in Hell. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His deformed shoulder ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Georik to love someone with a WHAT THE FUCK inducing demonic bum?

Absurdly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a graceful deranged lipstick, all on a summer's day. I wish my Georik would cacophonously embrace me, in his own unhinged way..."

"Do you?" Georik sat down beside Mephistopheles and put his hand on Mephistopheles's trouser flute. "I think that could be arranged."

Mephistopheles gasped enthusiastically. "But what about my WHAT THE FUCK inducing demonic bum?"

"I like it," Georik said smoothly. "I think it's preposterous."

They came together and their kiss was just like Bruno's lack of eyebrows.

"I love you," Mephistopheles said vigorously.

"I love you too," Georik replied and cacophonously embraced him.

They bought a Lillith, moved in together, and lived nonchalantly ever after.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: WHAT THE FUCK Inducing Lang Syne

Mephistopheles sipped vigorously at his drink and stood harebrained behind a nail. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel graceful and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how ardent his demonic bum got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Mephistopheles knew very well why he was at the party: to see Georik.

Ah, Georik. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his preposterous deformed shoulder made Mephistopheles's heart beat just like Bruno's lack of eyebrows.

But tonight everyone was masked. Mephistopheles peered nonchalantly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Georik. There, he thought, the man over by the lipstick, the horny one with the Lillith mask. It had to be Georik. No one else could look so harebrained, even in a Lillith mask.

He began to walk Mephistopheles's way and Mephistopheles started to panic. What if he actually talked to Mephistopheles?

Georik came right up to Mephistopheles and Mephistopheles thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Georik said enthusiastically. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the wig," Mephistopheles said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so deranged.

Just then, a bizarre voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Mephistopheles's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Georik might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Georik swept Mephistopheles into his arms, bent him in Hell, and kissed Mephistopheles smoothly, slipping the tongue and groping his trouser flute.

Mephistopheles could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out absurdly and pulled Georik's mask off his face. It was Georik! "I knew it was you," Mephistopheles said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Georik said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Mephistopheles watched him go. He would be right back, Mephistopheles was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.

And then they would fall in love.

Anabanana · Jan 28, 2013

Holy shit I can TOTALLY see that last one happening

Anxifera · Jan 28, 2013

Sofalisa said: ↑

Perfect gif.

It perfectly captures my reaction upon entering this thread.
I didn't bring any delicious shippings pizza, though.

Sugar-Junkie · Jan 28, 2013

Anxifera said: ↑

It perfectly caputres my reaction upon entering this thread.
I didn't bring any delicious shippings pizza, though.

Can we ship you with Pizza then ?

Anxifera · Jan 28, 2013

Sugar-Junkie said: ↑

Can we ship you with Pizza then ?

I am okay with this.

Sugar-Junkie · Jan 28, 2013

Anxifera said: ↑

I am okay with this.

Done.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning

A Spicy Occurrence

Anxifera paced up and down, jiggling her arm. Her very good friend, Mary Sue Fire, had arranged to meet her here in broken forum. "I have something weird to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Fire was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Anxifera expected to see her bounce up, her awesome hair streaming behind her and her delicious eyes aglow.

Anxifera heard footsteps, but they seemed rather cheesy for a delicate and tasty girl like Mary Sue Fire, whose tread was sweet. She turned around and found Pizza staring at her.

"What are you doing here?" Pizza said conveniently. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Anxifera had said that, but now she was beginning to wish she hadn't acted so brightly. "Mary Sue Fire asked to meet me here." As she gazed at Pizza, her mouth began to throb awesomely.

"Oh," Pizza said, quickly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Anxifera said and caught Pizza by his eye. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Pizza said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a scorned maid crying pure tears of youthful sadness.

From behind a more fire, Mary Sue Fire watched with a full light in her cute eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Anxifera/Pizza". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the wild zubat from extinction..

Kaneda · Jan 28, 2013

Okay, this has ashamed me into stopping. I'm so, so sorry.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: Sexily Tripping

@Eboby tripped along angrily. She was on her way to meet her lover, Ebony, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a dumblydore hopping along, carrying a pentagram in its mouth.

Eboby was almost in hogsmeade when she came across a shitty cake, lying alone on a WHAT THE FUCK inducing plate. "That must be a treat from my bizarre bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked blak, so she ate it.

It gave her the most horny tingling sensation in her icy blue eyes like Amy Lee's (an: if u havent herd of her den ur a perpp den FUK U!111). "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Ebony.

When Ebony came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Eboby cried disturbingly.

"Your bobs! And your you-know-what!" Ebony said. "They're preppy! Can't you feel it?"

Eboby felt her bobs and her you-know-what. They were indeed quite preppy. "Oh, no!" Eboby said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that shitty cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Ebony said. "I got you a lipstick. It must have been that masticating man who lives nearby. He acts a little vigorously, ever since he passively frenched a fishnet."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Eboby sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Ebony said smoothly, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your bobs is really weird like that."

"Really?" Eboby dried his tears. Eboby kissed Ebony and it was an entirely goffic sensation, like in Redisnet Evill.

They spent the night having entirely goffic sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: Bizarre Love

Eboby finished packing. Ever since Ebony, her own true love, had been lost at sea, Eboby had been horny.

There was nothing left for her anymore, nothing passively frenched her, all was shitty. So today, Valentine's Day, she was going in hogsmeade to become a blak fishnet.

Just then, there was a WHAT THE FUCK inducing knock at the door. Eboby opened it and stood there sexily for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising her icy blue eyes like Amy Lee's (an: if u havent herd of her den ur a perpp den FUK U!111).

When Eboby came to, Ebony was holding her bobs and looking masticating. "My love," Ebony said smoothly, "I'm sorry for the goffic shock. I've been shipwrecked on a preppy island for the last ten years, living like in Redisnet Evill. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my you-know-what in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Eboby could hardly believe her Ebony had returned. "I will always love you, you-know-what or no you-know-what. Besides, you can cover it up with a lipstick."

They embraced disturbingly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was weird.

No, these aren't Animamundi, as you might've guessed.

Sofalisa · Jan 28, 2013

I'm no perpp! o/

Sugar-Junkie · Jan 28, 2013

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA the nightmares, they're coming back D:

*rocks back and forth*

Eboby · Jan 28, 2013

I think Ebony/Eboby is the best ship I've ever been involved in.

Holy shit, the thing Madar Foxfire linked wrote me a self-insert with Soren from Fire Emblem.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: He's my favorite

There was a person standing at the water's edge.

Eboby, a gentle person with visage wisdom-worn, stood alone on the beach, gazing over the navy water with hir sincere burgundy crystals. Hir opaline hair danced lightly in the ocean breeze, tickling against one cheek as ze smiled to hirself with anticipation as ze clacked the heels of hir pitch-dark boots together. Ze wore a cement-colored shirt that left hir light-colored arms bare and aureate shorts that looked comfortable and easy to wear. Hir heterochromatic locks brushed against hir shoulders, complementing hir innocent milky visage. An elaborate tattoo snaked its way around hir visible skin. Beautiful wings sprouted from hir back. Ze stood, awaiting hir love.

One fateful day, Eboby had found him near death's door, and in a striking display of bravery, saved him from himself. From then on, ze cared about him with every fiber of hir being, but Soren switched from warmth to coldness in a flash, struggling with his inner anguish. But ze was there for him no matter how many times he tried to push hir away. That was how it was to this very day.

Eboby's burgundy windows to hir soul spotted Soren further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea. His lovely ebon hair was tied at the back of his head. His pools were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Eboby's sight, but ze knew and loved their haunted burgundy hue. He was dressed in his usual everyday clothes. His skin was ivory and his form was slight. A symbol marked his skin. As Eboby drew nearer, ze caught a note of his familiar scent that brought yellowed pages to mind. Ze smiled to hirself. It always reminded hir of the time they shared. "Soren," ze called, walking towards him.

He glanced back at Eboby before again returning his brick-colored gaze to the water. "Eboby," he whispered.

"It's good to see you again," Eboby said, touching him lightly on one shoulder. "Have I kept you waiting?" Soren simply shrugged. They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge.

Soren's mind was flooded by painful thoughts. He clung tightly to Eboby's hand as if it could save him. He was without a mother or father, always reliving that day, and a freak. Ze, strong as ze was, wouldn't possibly be willing to bear his burdens.

"What is it, Soren?" Eboby suddenly asked.

"N-nothing," Soren whispered. "Why do you ask...?"

"You've got my hand in a death grip." He let his head droop and let go. He was always causing hir trouble.... "I don't mean it like that. I mean if something's bothering you, you should tell me."

"No... Eboby, I couldn't..."

Eboby looked at Soren long and hard. Ze was struggling to understand what it was that plagued him, but to him, it seemed like ze was glaring at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm always so..."

"Always so... what?"

"..."

Ze scratched hir head and looked out over the sea. "You'll tell me when you're ready, won't you?"

Soren gave the faintest of nods. But of course he could not imagine ever feeling ready to tell hir his secrets. In truth, he hardly even deserved hir. Soren was ... Nothing but an outcast. A freak. Abandoned goods. Damaged beyond repair.

Soren was unworthy of hir time. The very thought of that brought tears to his eyes, and he looked away from Eboby to hide them. But he couldn't hide the sobs that shook him.

"Soren." Soren rubbed the tears from his eyes. "Soren, look, you need to tell me. You're so upset..."

"I've already been alone once, and I don't think I could stand it again!"

"But you won't be! You have me, don't you?"

"There's a reason... I am the way I am. A dark secret hidden deep in my past that I wanted to keep from you. I just... I don't want to burden you with that. It's all worthless..."

"It's not worthless. If it's about you, it's important to me. Tell me."

"It's... I'm..." Soren's shoulders shook, and he buried his face in his hands. "Forget it! Let's just..."

Eboby put an assuring arm around his shoulders and brought him toward hirself. "Hey... hey. It's all right... I'm here. I'm here."

After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again. It seemed to Eboby that something had been bothering Soren for the last few hours -- or maybe longer than that. His despairing cherry globes were cast down and away, focused upon nothing in particular.

It really hurt hir inside to see him like that. Ze reached for him, tucked a stray inky strand behind his ear, and traced a finger across his jawline. "What's wrong, Soren?"

"Eboby... it's, just..."

Eboby cupped his face in hir hands, brushing hir lips against his forehead. "You can tell me."

He took a deep breath and gazed into hir burgundy depths with a look full of melancholy sadness, whispering, "I wasn't... people weren't very... fond of me. I just didn't belong there. I was a child. I didn't have a choice. I had to live with their scorn.... It's just something that happens... when you're like me. It hurts, Eboby... did they ever know that? That it hurts...."

Eboby listened attentively, hir eyebrows furrowing at each of Soren's recounted sorrows. At last, when he finished, a moment of silence passed between them.

He looked so dark and insecure. Ze brought him closer in reassurance, only wanting to hold him until the hurt subsided, murmuring, "Soren... that's awful. It wish that weren't how it is. I wish I could say more. Soren...." Soren's eyes began to redden, and he abruptly pulled hir into a fierce embrace. Hir orbs widened at first, but then ze too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of his touch.

"You," Soren whispered, his breath hot on hir ear. "As long as you're here, I... I can make it." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. Their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and toward the setting sun, where dark clouds began to loom into sight.

They basked in each other's quiet companionship for a few moments.

"Mm. Sunset."

Eboby lifted hir head at Soren's words to behold the dying sun's peach radiance. But even as ze replied, "It's nice," the inky clouds looming on the horizon worried hir. "Soren, those clouds look bad. Let's go back."

Soren looked at hir with such baleful spheres and asked, "Just a few moments more? I don't want it to be over yet."

"Just a few more moments," ze relented.

They were unprepared for how swift, how brutal the coming storm was. The rain poured in torrents, bading the ocean itself to rise. Winds whipped about them and kept them from moving on the shifting sands. Soaking, shivering, they fought against the storm.

"Eboby!" Soren screamed against the wind. "Please, don't let go!"

"I won't!" Eboby shouted back, hir hand clasping his firmly as ze struggled upward on the beach. "Trust me, Soren!"

"I'm so sorry!" Soren sobbed. "I never should've asked--"

His next words were drowned out by the crash of water. A wave knocked against Eboby's side with incredible force, and in the moment ze was stunned by the blow, ze felt those soft fingers slip through hirs.

Ze came to hir senses, and ze found hirself alone on the beach.

"Soren!!" ze screamed. Without hesitation, ze dove into the water. The waves tossed and rolled without mercy; ze could hardly keep hirself afloat. But the sight of that pale hand barely sticking from the water kept hir moving forward.

For a sickening moment, those fingers slipped under the surface.

"NO!!!" Eboby bellowed before a mouthful of water choked hir voice and brought hir back to hir senses. Ze dove under. The water was dark and it stung hir eyes, but ze could see Soren, drifting downward like a falling flower petal in spring. With a flurry of energy, ze shot forth and grasped his limp hand, then kicked furiously at the water, lungs almost bursting, until they came to the surface.

Sputtering and choking, Eboby caught hir breath while struggling to keep Soren above water. The cold and turbulent water was beginning to take its toll; ze wasn't sure how much longer ze could keep them alive.

Soren sputtered and seemed to rouse. "Eboby ... ...?" he murmured hoarsely.

"Hold on, Soren," Eboby gasped as ze put forth all hir energy into fighting the sea. "Hold on..."

"Ze had too much water in hir lungs," the doctor told Soren. "Ze pushed hirself too hard on too little air. I'm sorry. Ze gave hir life for you. Ze didn't make it."

Wracked with guilt and pain, Soren buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

Three days later...

"Ze was such an amazing person."

"No one ever approached hir greatness."

"I can't imagine what the world would be like if ze hadn't been there."

Soren sat on a chair by the coffin, his hands around his knees, his crystals dry, his soul too numbed to grieve. The funeral attendees nodded to him as they passed. He was motionless in response.

The reception lasted hours, but it seemed to Soren that it was only moments before the crowd disappeared. He picked himself off the chair and turned to look into the coffin for the first time since the funeral started.

Eyes closed and still, Eboby laid inside in a fine sable suit, hir hands clasped over hir chest. Ze could have been in a very deep sleep. Soren fought the urge to reach out and nudge hir awake. Eboby was gone. Gone because of him. Because ze loved him. Trembling, Soren leaned in and laid a single kiss on hir lips.

... Thus concludes our tale.

I like the part where there's no happy ending.

Syncronicity · Jan 28, 2013

Eboby said: ↑

I think Ebony/Eboby is the best ship I've ever been involved in.

Holy shit, the thing Madar Foxfire linked wrote me a self-insert with Soren from Fire Emblem.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: He's my favorite

There was a person standing at the water's edge.

Eboby, a gentle person with visage wisdom-worn, stood alone on the beach, gazing over the navy water with hir sincere burgundy crystals. Hir opaline hair danced lightly in the ocean breeze, tickling against one cheek as ze smiled to hirself with anticipation as ze clacked the heels of hir pitch-dark boots together. Ze wore a cement-colored shirt that left hir light-colored arms bare and aureate shorts that looked comfortable and easy to wear. Hir heterochromatic locks brushed against hir shoulders, complementing hir innocent milky visage. An elaborate tattoo snaked its way around hir visible skin. Beautiful wings sprouted from hir back. Ze stood, awaiting hir love.

One fateful day, Eboby had found him near death's door, and in a striking display of bravery, saved him from himself. From then on, ze cared about him with every fiber of hir being, but Soren switched from warmth to coldness in a flash, struggling with his inner anguish. But ze was there for him no matter how many times he tried to push hir away. That was how it was to this very day.

Eboby's burgundy windows to hir soul spotted Soren further down on the beach, closer to the roaring sea. His lovely ebon hair was tied at the back of his head. His pools were turned toward the ocean, hidden from Eboby's sight, but ze knew and loved their haunted burgundy hue. He was dressed in his usual everyday clothes. His skin was ivory and his form was slight. A symbol marked his skin. As Eboby drew nearer, ze caught a note of his familiar scent that brought yellowed pages to mind. Ze smiled to hirself. It always reminded hir of the time they shared. "Soren," ze called, walking towards him.

He glanced back at Eboby before again returning his brick-colored gaze to the water. "Eboby," he whispered.

"It's good to see you again," Eboby said, touching him lightly on one shoulder. "Have I kept you waiting?" Soren simply shrugged. They began their leisurely walk along the ocean's edge.

Soren's mind was flooded by painful thoughts. He clung tightly to Eboby's hand as if it could save him. He was without a mother or father, always reliving that day, and a freak. Ze, strong as ze was, wouldn't possibly be willing to bear his burdens.

"What is it, Soren?" Eboby suddenly asked.

"N-nothing," Soren whispered. "Why do you ask...?"

"You've got my hand in a death grip." He let his head droop and let go. He was always causing hir trouble.... "I don't mean it like that. I mean if something's bothering you, you should tell me."

"No... Eboby, I couldn't..."

Eboby looked at Soren long and hard. Ze was struggling to understand what it was that plagued him, but to him, it seemed like ze was glaring at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm always so..."

"Always so... what?"

"..."

Ze scratched hir head and looked out over the sea. "You'll tell me when you're ready, won't you?"

Soren gave the faintest of nods. But of course he could not imagine ever feeling ready to tell hir his secrets. In truth, he hardly even deserved hir. Soren was ... Nothing but an outcast. A freak. Abandoned goods. Damaged beyond repair.

Soren was unworthy of hir time. The very thought of that brought tears to his eyes, and he looked away from Eboby to hide them. But he couldn't hide the sobs that shook him.

"Soren." Soren rubbed the tears from his eyes. "Soren, look, you need to tell me. You're so upset..."

"I've already been alone once, and I don't think I could stand it again!"

"But you won't be! You have me, don't you?"

"There's a reason... I am the way I am. A dark secret hidden deep in my past that I wanted to keep from you. I just... I don't want to burden you with that. It's all worthless..."

"It's not worthless. If it's about you, it's important to me. Tell me."

"It's... I'm..." Soren's shoulders shook, and he buried his face in his hands. "Forget it! Let's just..."

Eboby put an assuring arm around his shoulders and brought him toward hirself. "Hey... hey. It's all right... I'm here. I'm here."

After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again. It seemed to Eboby that something had been bothering Soren for the last few hours -- or maybe longer than that. His despairing cherry globes were cast down and away, focused upon nothing in particular.

It really hurt hir inside to see him like that. Ze reached for him, tucked a stray inky strand behind his ear, and traced a finger across his jawline. "What's wrong, Soren?"

"Eboby... it's, just..."

Eboby cupped his face in hir hands, brushing hir lips against his forehead. "You can tell me."

He took a deep breath and gazed into hir burgundy depths with a look full of melancholy sadness, whispering, "I wasn't... people weren't very... fond of me. I just didn't belong there. I was a child. I didn't have a choice. I had to live with their scorn.... It's just something that happens... when you're like me. It hurts, Eboby... did they ever know that? That it hurts...."

Eboby listened attentively, hir eyebrows furrowing at each of Soren's recounted sorrows. At last, when he finished, a moment of silence passed between them.

He looked so dark and insecure. Ze brought him closer in reassurance, only wanting to hold him until the hurt subsided, murmuring, "Soren... that's awful. It wish that weren't how it is. I wish I could say more. Soren...." Soren's eyes began to redden, and he abruptly pulled hir into a fierce embrace. Hir orbs widened at first, but then ze too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of his touch.

"You," Soren whispered, his breath hot on hir ear. "As long as you're here, I... I can make it." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. Their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and toward the setting sun, where dark clouds began to loom into sight.

They basked in each other's quiet companionship for a few moments.

"Mm. Sunset."

Eboby lifted hir head at Soren's words to behold the dying sun's peach radiance. But even as ze replied, "It's nice," the inky clouds looming on the horizon worried hir. "Soren, those clouds look bad. Let's go back."

Soren looked at hir with such baleful spheres and asked, "Just a few moments more? I don't want it to be over yet."

"Just a few more moments," ze relented.

They were unprepared for how swift, how brutal the coming storm was. The rain poured in torrents, bading the ocean itself to rise. Winds whipped about them and kept them from moving on the shifting sands. Soaking, shivering, they fought against the storm.

"Eboby!" Soren screamed against the wind. "Please, don't let go!"

"I won't!" Eboby shouted back, hir hand clasping his firmly as ze struggled upward on the beach. "Trust me, Soren!"

"I'm so sorry!" Soren sobbed. "I never should've asked--"

His next words were drowned out by the crash of water. A wave knocked against Eboby's side with incredible force, and in the moment ze was stunned by the blow, ze felt those soft fingers slip through hirs.

Ze came to hir senses, and ze found hirself alone on the beach.

"Soren!!" ze screamed. Without hesitation, ze dove into the water. The waves tossed and rolled without mercy; ze could hardly keep hirself afloat. But the sight of that pale hand barely sticking from the water kept hir moving forward.

For a sickening moment, those fingers slipped under the surface.

"NO!!!" Eboby bellowed before a mouthful of water choked hir voice and brought hir back to hir senses. Ze dove under. The water was dark and it stung hir eyes, but ze could see Soren, drifting downward like a falling flower petal in spring. With a flurry of energy, ze shot forth and grasped his limp hand, then kicked furiously at the water, lungs almost bursting, until they came to the surface.

Sputtering and choking, Eboby caught hir breath while struggling to keep Soren above water. The cold and turbulent water was beginning to take its toll; ze wasn't sure how much longer ze could keep them alive.

Soren sputtered and seemed to rouse. "Eboby ... ...?" he murmured hoarsely.

"Hold on, Soren," Eboby gasped as ze put forth all hir energy into fighting the sea. "Hold on..."

"Ze had too much water in hir lungs," the doctor told Soren. "Ze pushed hirself too hard on too little air. I'm sorry. Ze gave hir life for you. Ze didn't make it."

Wracked with guilt and pain, Soren buried his head in his hands and sobbed.

Three days later...

"Ze was such an amazing person."

"No one ever approached hir greatness."

"I can't imagine what the world would be like if ze hadn't been there."

Soren sat on a chair by the coffin, his hands around his knees, his crystals dry, his soul too numbed to grieve. The funeral attendees nodded to him as they passed. He was motionless in response.

The reception lasted hours, but it seemed to Soren that it was only moments before the crowd disappeared. He picked himself off the chair and turned to look into the coffin for the first time since the funeral started.

Eyes closed and still, Eboby laid inside in a fine sable suit, hir hands clasped over hir chest. Ze could have been in a very deep sleep. Soren fought the urge to reach out and nudge hir awake. Eboby was gone. Gone because of him. Because ze loved him. Trembling, Soren leaned in and laid a single kiss on hir lips.

... Thus concludes our tale.

I like the part where there's no happy ending.

I DID A SI WITH SOREN TOO!!! He's my fave too, gods what have you done my feels are screaming that was so sad I'm crying my soul is weeping

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

For some reason the Drabble-matic refuses to work in my computer. Am I the only one?

Syncronicity · Feb 1, 2013

Sofalisa said: ↑

For some reason the Drabble-matic refuses to work in my computer. Am I the only one?

It works fine for me... I hope you get that fixed.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

Syncronicity said: ↑

It works fine for me... I hope you get that fixed.

Strange... My internet refuses to open some sites sometimes, but when I restart it it usually works. But it didn't...

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

Well, I had to use my phone's internet to do this, and then digit it all on the computer, SO YOU BETTER LIKE IT.

And I'm sorry for this.

To Demandingly Punish

Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey were celebrating a gray Valentine's Day together. Anastasia Steele had cooked a stupid dinner and they are in the Red Room of Pain by candlelight.

"My darling," Christian Grey said, stroking Anastasia Steele down there, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Anastasia Steele. "It is but a sensual token of my dumb love."

Anastasia Steele opened the box. Inside was a demanding Inner Goddess! She gazed at it dumbly. Then she gazed at Christian Grey dumbly. "It's depressive," Anastasia Steele said. "Come here and let me punish you."

Just then, and overbearing crone sprang out of hiding and cackled as if she had touched the sun and got burned. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a creepy voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Christian Grey read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says... it says that you're my sister."

They stared at each other creepily as the crone cackled some more. Anastasia Steele's intense gray eyes began to tremble. Then Christian Grey shrugged, pulled out a Charlie Tango balloon, and hit the crone on her huge member. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Anastasia Steele said and kissed Christian Grey sensually. "This is a hot Valentine's Day!"

They overbearingly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they punished each other all night long.

This is perfect. Just perfect. I'm so proud *tears*

Syncronicity · Feb 1, 2013

Sofalisa that was beautiful.

PARAdoxial · Feb 1, 2013

So I just read this thread.

...

Goodness the things this site gets on to.

...

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: Obligatory

There was a man standing at the water's edge.

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]Ozzo,[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]a sorrowful[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]man learned of life's secrets,[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]stood alone on the beach, gazing over the[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]aquamarine water with his[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]despairing[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]starless[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]pools.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]His[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]many-colored hair[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]rustled[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]lightly in the ocean[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]breeze. He[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]tried to deny the stirrings in his heart, resting his cheek against one hand as he[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]hummed[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]"My Immortal" to himself.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]The sun glinted off of his[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]ivory[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]shoulders[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]and[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]a pair of crimson jeans that showed off the shape of his body.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]His[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]many-colored locks brushed against his earlobes,[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]complementing his[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]morose[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]pale[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]visage.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]He stood, awaiting his love.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR]

[COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]It must have been fate in mortal form that brought them together. He knew from the moment he laid eyes on him that they were meant to be.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]From then on,[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]Ozzo was sometimes needy and close, but then suddenly cold and fearful.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]John Sheepgazer tried his best to hide his pain, but it was plain in his[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]globes.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)]That was how it was to this very day.[/COLOR][COLOR=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.839844)] [/COLOR]

"Ozzo," John Sheepgazer said simply with a smile on his face. His charcoal orbs complimented his opaline coiffure, tied back from his face, belying his unblemished heart. He was dressed in his usual everyday clothes. He had a toned but slender body covered with sepia skin. A symbol marked his skin. Furry ears flicked at the top of his head, and he twitched his color-mixed tail.As Ozzo drew nearer, he caught a note of John Sheepgazer's familiar scent of lingering iron and steel. His depths softened. It always reminded him of the time they shared.

"John Sheepgazer. I feared you might not come," Ozzo whispered.

"Of course I came," he said nonchalantly.

Ozzo shook his head. "Everyone else abandoned me."

"I won't leave you," John Sheepgazer said firmly. John Sheepgazer held his hand out to him, and hesitantly Ozzo took it. With that, they began to walk along the beach.

Ozzo's mind was flooded by painful thoughts. He clung tightly to John Sheepgazer's callousedhand as if it could save Ozzo. He was always reliving that day, never good enough, and unable to forget that someone. John Sheepgazer, strong as he was, wouldn't possibly be willing to bear his burdens. "What is it, Ozzo?" John Sheepgazer suddenly asked.

"N-nothing," Ozzo whispered. "Why do you ask...?"

"You've got my hand in a death grip." Ozzo let his head droop and let go. He was always causing John Sheepgazer trouble.... "I don't mean it like that. I mean if something's bothering you, you should tell me."

"No... John Sheepgazer, I couldn't..."

John Sheepgazer looked at Ozzo long and hard. John Sheepgazer was struggling to understand what it was that plagued Ozzo, but to Ozzo, it seemed like he was glaring at him.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm always so..."

"Always so... what?"

"..."

John Sheepgazer scratched his head and looked out over the sea. "You'll tell me when you're ready, won't you?"

Ozzo gave the faintest of nods. But of course he could not imagine ever feeling ready to tell him his secrets. In truth, Ozzo hardly even deserved him. Ozzo was ... Abandoned goods. Always falling short. Damaged beyond repair. Inextricably tied to the burden of commitment.Wounded by the unexplainable.

Ozzo was unworthy of his time. The very thought of that brought tears to his eyes, and he looked away from John Sheepgazer to hide them. But he couldn't hide the sobs that shook him.

"Ozzo." Ozzo rubbed the tears from his eyes. "Ozzo, look, you need to tell me. You're a mess!"

"I've already been alone once, and I don't think I could stand it again!"

"But you won't be! You have me, don't you?"

"There's something that may be... keeping us apart."

"Then we'll fight it together."

"There's a reason... I am the way I am. A dark secret hidden deep in my past that I wanted to keep from you. I just... I don't want to burden you with that. It's all worthless..."

"It's not worthless. If it's about you, it's important to me. Tell me."

"I can barely put it into words. You've treated me so well, and I never want this to change."

"It won't change. Never."

"It's... I'm..." Ozzo's shoulders shook, and he buried his face in his hands. "Forget it! Let's just..."

John Sheepgazer put an assuring arm around Ozzo's shoulders and brought him toward himself. "Hey... hey. It's all right... I'm here. I'm here."

After a few moments, they found themselves walking down the beach again.Ozzo couldn't stop thinking about his incomprehensible secret. It plagued him endlessly -- while he was far from John Sheepgazer and while he was near. It threatened to consume him. When Ozzo had let the faintest hints slip in the moments before, it had already taken taken so much of his will.

With concern, John Sheepgazer turned his spotless windows to his soul toward Ozzo. "Ozzo? What's wrong?"

"John Sheepgazer... it's..."

And at that moment everything came together, all of the magic and the hurt that had been building that day, and he locked his orbswithhis and whispered, "You can tell me."

It was like a floodgate burst, or some barrier of fear had been struck down. Ozzo shook his head and everything came out at once."I don't know if I can put it into words. I... lately... it might not even be just lately.... It's nothing. It's nothing! John Sheepgazer, I... it hurts, John Sheepgazer... there's nothing that helps. Except that... sometimes, I feel a bit better when you're by my side...."John Sheepgazer listened silently and solemnly. At last, when all the words had left Ozzo and he was at a loss for words, John Sheepgazer reached out to him and took a deep breath to whisper back, "Ozzo... that's awful. It wish that weren't how it is. I wish I could say more. Ozzo...." Ozzo's eyes began to burn, and he abruptly pulled John Sheepgazer into a fierce embrace. John Sheepgazer's spheres widened at first, but then he too felt overwhelmed by emotion and succumbed to the warmth of Ozzo's touch.

"You," Ozzo whispered, his breath hot on John Sheepgazer's ear. "As long as you're here, I... I can make it." They held each other as tears trickled down cheeks and dripped onto the shifting sands to be carried away into the sea. With time and soothing embraces, their pain dissipated into a mist swept out by the ocean breeze and into the setting sun.
They basked in each other's quiet companionship for a few moments."Look... it's the sunset."

Ozzo lifted his head at John Sheepgazer's words to behold the dying sun's fermented radiance."Mm."

After a moment of silence, John Sheepgazer took Ozzo's hands in his and said quietly and seriously, "Ozzo, I need to say something. Without you, I would be the sea without the moon -- the moon without the sun -- You are irreplaceable to me."

"John Sheepgazer," he breathed in response. "I'm... I'm not that special."

"You are," John Sheepgazer insisted, sounding almost hurt. "I'm not lying."

"I don't mean to say you're lying. Just that... never mind. John Sheepgazer... you're... precious to me as well."

John Sheepgazer brought their clasped hands to his lips. "Then... so long as you will it, we will never be parted."

Ozzo sighed with contentment and brought John Sheepgazer closer. He gazed at the beautifulhoney-colored rays of the falling sun, thinking about everything that had transpired on this day and all that would pass between them.

"I love you, John Sheepgazer."

"I love you too, Ozzo."

Their lips met, and many-colored strands met color-mixed ones, aflame in the dying light. The sand was their witness and the rumbling ocean their approving audience, and John Sheepgazer, his eternally faithful lover. Ozzo thought to himself that nothing had ever been so perfect for him as this.

/brb dying of laughter

Made using the randomizer on the Self-Insert Generator

edit: I don't know what all that [color] is about but it won't go away.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

Gonna do some more just because I won't ever get tired of fucking up with 50 Shades.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: I'm Dreaming Of An Overbearing Christmas

It was Christmas Eve. Anastasia Steele sat sensually in the Red Room of Pain, sipping stupid eggnog.

She looked at the dumb whip hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Christian Grey had hung it there, just before they looked at each other creepily and then fell into each other's arms and punished each other's huge members.

If only I hand't been so sensual, Anastasia Steele thought, pouring a creepy amount of rum into her eggnog. Then Christian Grey might not have got so depressive and left me all alone at Christmas time. She wiped away a gray tear and held her down THERE with her hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a hot voice lifted overbearingly up in song.

I'm dreaming of an overbearing Christmas
Just as if she had touched the sun and got burned

Anastasia Steele ran to the door. It was Christian Grey, looking demanding all over with snow.

"I missed you demandingly", Christian Grey said. "And I wanted to punish your huge member again."

Anastasia Steele hugged Christian Grey and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Christian Grey said.

"I think so too," Anastasia Steele said and they punished each other's huge members until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted stalker gray eyes and lived dumbly until Anastasia Steele got drunk again.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: The Miracle Of The Stalker

Anastasia Steele hated Christmas. She didn't just dislike Christmas, she hated it as if she had touched the sun and got burned. She loathed it.

Every December, Anastasia Steele would fell herself getting all hot inside. She refused to put up a Christmas whip, she snapped at everyone overbearing enough to sing a carol in her vicinity, and she never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Anastasia Steele had to go to the mall to buy a sensual Charlie Tango balloon. When she got there, there were so many shoppers pushing creepily around and so much Christmas music blaring sensually, she thought her gray eyes would explode.

Finally, she was done. Just outside the door was a dumb man collecting for charity. Anastasia Steele never gave to charity, so she started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the dumb man dropped his bells and ran in the Red Room of Pain. There was a gray stalker right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the dumb man slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Anastasia Steele rushed out and overbearingly pushed them both out of the way. There was a demanding bang and then everything went dark.

When Anastasia Steele woke up, she was in a creepy room. There was a Christmas whip in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Anastasia Steele's down THERE hurt. A lot.

The dumb man came into the room. "I'm so depressive!" he said. "You're awake. My name is Christian Grey. You saved me from the truck. But your down THERE is broken."

Anastasia Steele hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas whip up and her down THERE was broken, she felt quite stupid, especially when she looked at Christian Grey.

"Your down THERE must hurt dumbly." Christian Grey said. "I think this will help." And he punished Anastasia Steele several times.

Now Anastasia Steele felt very stupid indeed. She didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, she loved it. And she loved Christian Grey. "I love you", she said, and kissed Christian Grey demandingly.

"I love you too," said Christian Grey. Just then, the stalker ran into the room and nuzzled Anastasia Steele's huge member. "I brought him home with us," Christian Grey said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Anastasia Steele said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.

Syncronicity · Feb 1, 2013

Those were glorious. And Para, you might wanna check your story... you can't color code anything under a spoiler.

Donmai · Feb 1, 2013

So.
I just used this to make an actual game script.
...

Nerys said: ↑

I feel like it's only a matter of time before someone decides that they're totally going to make an Ozzo / Alko Boom dating game, starts a group for it in the Social Scene, and then forgets about it in a week.

THIS IS ALL NERYS' FAULT
BLAME NERYS, EVERYONE
And man this game is going to make no sense once Ozzo, JohnStargazer, and Alko Boom change their icons.
OH WELL.

Syncronicity · Feb 1, 2013

Donmai said: ↑

I just used this to make an actual game script.

DO I OR DO I NOT CLICK THE DOWNLOAD?
I did.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

Donmai said: ↑

So.
I just used this to make an actual game script.
...

THIS IS ALL NERYS' FAULT
BLAME NERYS, EVERYONE
And man this game is going to make no sense once Ozzo, JohnStargazer, and Alko Boom change their icons.
OH WELL.

............................................

That's all I have to say.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

I started playing it and changed my mind. THIS IS FUCKING EPIC!

Donmai · Feb 1, 2013

Syncronicity said: ↑

DO I OR DO I NOT CLICK THE DOWNLOAD?
I did.

For after you get the true ending:
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Alko Boom · Feb 1, 2013

...I am utterly terrified right now.

Edit: What the actual fuck Domnai. I think my icon speaks for itself.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

WHY CAN'T I DATE DONMAI?

I'M SO. DISAPPOINT.

EDIT - What was that ending? O_O

Syncronicity · Feb 1, 2013

I really should get this off my mom's laptop before she find it. HELP ME.

Donmai · Feb 1, 2013

Sofalisa said: ↑

EDIT - What was that ending? O_O

Try opening the game again.
Three times.
~*Three is a magical number!*~

Eboby · Feb 1, 2013

Donmai, I really do love you. In a wholesome way.

And all the other ways.

Some day I will find you and properly express my love.

Sofalisa · Feb 1, 2013

WHERE'S THE CREEPYPASTA GAME?

Failure Hero · Feb 1, 2013

Man, opening it three times didn't help at all.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning

Interesting soundtrack though.

Loofofbread · Feb 1, 2013

Donmai said: ↑

Try opening the game again.
Three times.
~*Three is a magical number!*~

Donmaaaai I can't find iiiit *whine*

Donmai · Feb 1, 2013

Loofofbread said: ↑

Donmaaaai I can't find iiiit *whine*

Perseverance! Thirteen is also a magical number, just so you know!

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning: ...

Ah... Being alone is so...
...
...

Ozzo · Feb 1, 2013

Why do I feel so tense, like I've just been groped by a dozen different hands?

Alko Boom · Feb 1, 2013

I just got the true ending.

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU FOOL!

Edit: Yeah Ozzo that's how felt when I found out about this.

Nerys · Feb 1, 2013

Donmai you are my hero. This seriously made my day.

Also

(toggle_spoiler)
spoiler_warning

/ded

Loofofbread · Feb 1, 2013

HAH. Got it.

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