Bad Joke Thursday...and other days of the week

Um Eboby... I won't even question why you had that ready to use.I love you

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down the front of his breeches.

The bartender notices and asks the pirate, "Did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants"'

"Aaarrr, I know, it's drivin' me nuts."

No, just my childhood.

oh my gosh

You all have to watch this with me.

I was watching it with my friend and I died to say the least. After you are done watching please comment because I will be making so many references.

Here's the trailer:



And here is the first episode (there are 13 episodes in total):


Is it bad that I wish my Barbies were like this all one of them?

I'll post the second episode later on. Today or tomorrow, whichever.

That last panel kills me.

Have I mentioned Magikarp is my favourite Pokémon?

Oh, well in that case I posted it just for you :D

Psst...Bladida

Come to my bosom

I love you.

Oh my. That's a whole lot of bosom.

Haha, classic

A guy walks into a doctor's office and starts pushing random spots on his body: "When I push here it hurts, when I push here and when I push here it hurts. What's wrong with me doctor?"
The doctor says:

This one goes out to Rot:

Why did the mushroom go to the party?

Anti jokes, who has them? me

Read at your own risk. Some are NSFW.

Why did Bono fall off the stage?

Because he was too close to The Edge.

La di da~
Putting off studying
La di da~
Should be sleeping
La di da~
Going to fail my exam *sobs*

This is legitimately one of my favorite jokes ever.

I may have poor taste in jokes.

And now, choir humor!

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One -- she just holds it up and the world revolves around her.

How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None -- they can't reach that high.

An engineer believes that mathematics approximates the physical world.
A physicist believes that the physical world approximates mathematics.
A mathematician sees no connection between the two.

Bladida, you win.

What's sad about four black guys going over a cliff in a Cadillac?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Some context for those who aren't aware:

I'm just glad to be able to share all these terrible things I find.

An infectious disease walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't serve infectious diseases in this bar." The infectious disease replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

Several bacterium walk into a bar. Bartender says "We're not open yet." The Bacteria reply, "But we're staph!"

A room temperature superconductor walks into a bar. Bartender says "You violate the laws of physics. Get out." It leaves without resistance.

A Neutrino walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't serve neutrinos" The Neutrino replies, "It's OK, I'm just passing through."

The bartender says "We don't serve faster than light particles here." A Neutrino walks into a bar. (no longer funny since that thing didn't pan out)

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Why's there a soprano knocking at your door?
Because she's lost her key and doesn't know when to come in.

What do you call a soprano who can sightread?
An alto.

There was a mother who had three daughters.
One day, the first daughter came up to her and asked "Mother, why did you name me Rose?"
The mother replied "Because when you were a baby a rose petal landed on your forehead, so I named you Rose."

Then, the second daughter came up to her and asked "Mother, why did you name me Lily?"
The mother replied "Because when you were a baby a lily petal landed on your forehead, so I named you Lily."

Then, the third daughter came up to her and said "Asfghdkkssidnj."
And the mother said "SHUTUP CINDERBLOCK!!!"

Sort of like "What do you call 50 lawyers up to their necks in concrete? A good start."

Contributions from my better half:

What's a bassoon's range?

What's the difference between between a bassoon and a lawnmower?

What's the difference bewteen a pirahna and a soprano?

What do you call a petite psychic with a warrant out for her arrest?

And the piece de la resistance.

Where do sheep get their hair cut?

lu lu lu la lu la lu~

Oh Jacquelle tbh I was waiting for you~
/was tempted to shoop your username on there but shyness!

You can make me Les Miserables whenever you want, Soli ;)

Shh. You can kill me later.


HAHAHAHAHAHA get it?
'Cause of Twitter, right?
*awkward silence*


CLASSIC. Also, all of these pics were already on my hard drive, so...
Yeah. I have a collection.


:D


I don't know why they used that picture for this one, but I'm just gonna roll with it.


There are more, but...
I'll hold back for now.
don't kill me

An oldie, but a goodie. Or at least a favorite in the Alligator household.