The last few days I've been feeling kind of cranky, depressed and lack motivation to do anything. At about 11:00 this morning the reason hit me in the face like a 2 by 4. In a few days it will have been my oldest brother's birthday and a few weeks after that is the day he died from a brain tumor that was the side effect of the chemo he received to treat cancer. Well, now I know why I've been feeling down and on the verge of tears the last few days. Funny how the brain does it's best to ignore things while trying to remind you about important dates all at the same time. The holidays suck.