Ever Wished You Could Start Life Over? Let's Play: Alter Ego

Ask her if she has a doggie! Doggies!

Ask her if she has a thick skull like Daddy. XD

Ask her if she has a doggie.

Ask her if she has a doggie indeed.

Let's find out if this strange, buxom woman has a doggie!





Lloddy is either the best at social interactions or the worst.

We get to ask her another question, so I go ahead and ask her if she's got as thick a skull as our daddy does.



We are just tho prethious. Though our mom seems to have just hit us. Maybe we're being a bit too precious.

We have the opportunity to ask even more questions to this woman (apparently our mother hasn't bodily dragged us away cursing the day she birthed us yet), so I go in for the big question:





Well that was anticlimactic.

So, how about it, guys? Is Lloddy going to grow up to be a criminal mastermind, or should we try to repair our slowly-disintegrating relationship with our family?

TAKE IT! What's learning from mistakes??

Take it, but honestly. Because stealing things and then admitting it is cool.

Leave it. What does a baby need with a quarter?

Enriched Milk on the Black Market.

Alter Ego: Adventures in Dishonesty!

It sure is easy to solve our problems! Apparently we can do anything we want, so long as we apologize for it afterwards.

Unfortunately, other children are starting to follow Lloddy's model of diplomacy:







What should she do?

Anxiously grab it back! Because mixing moods and actions that don't quite match is fun!

Somehow, every single time I play this game I end up with a super-confident exquisitely trustworthy brilliant character who keeps being chided for her serious anger issues.

I'm not sure what that says about me.

...but it does mean I'm saying "Angry" and "Grab it back".

Get angry and get even! Push the other kid into the sandbox while grabbing it back!

Who needs diplomacy when you've got the strength of a one-year old child?
Nobody, that's who.









Call us Lloddy, conqueror of sandboxes! Lloddy, vanquisher of kings!

Aw, who's a cute widdle tyrant?

Lloddy, caretaker of goldfish!



...G-gabby?





But I… I don't...

I'm trying this game out right now, and... I keep getting "we didn't mean for you to pick this please pick something else". What do you mean I can't sit and stare up at the big-nosed man in silent horror, or be interested in a show without trying to call in, or shyly ask the other guy to start being doctor when we play Doctor? I'm pretty sure that's what I would've done, if we play I sure wouldn't want to take charge!

Also, the game keeps calling me aggressive but... all I'm really doing is to pick "I wanna be alone and not get into trouble" options. Sure, I have absolutely no friends, but it's not because of being mean! You're being rude, game.

Yeah, the game has some really interesting ideas about what constitutes aggression. Namely, enforcing your boundaries in any but the sweetest, gentlest, most etiquette-approved manner is likely to be rated "aggressive." And it gets confused every time you try to say "I am experiencing this emotion, but not doing a huge visible reaction that shows everyone I am experiencing this emotion."

Still, lots of fun to play. Though some of it only works for me if I imagine it's set in the 1950s.

Wikipedia says that the game came out in 1986. I wasn't born back then, so I haven't got a clue what it was like.

It's interesting how black-and-white the game can be at times. I remember once acting like the pinnacle of grace throughout my baby and toddler years, only to be told I was too aggressive to compromise with other children during a school project. Quite surprising.

I have a REALLY bad feeling about this.

PLAY QUIETLY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Ha. Yes. And when my parents lecture me on being Ladylike, or the principal collects names for every child in school wearing (GASP THE HORROR) trendy dog collars and my parents decide a week of humiliation is the best way to punish me for it... I just keep chanting, "The past is a foreign country" and try to RP as if I were me, but trying to grow up in a horrible repressive place.

...which. Uh. Probably explains the high Confidence and Aggression scores after all.

What's the matter? Don't you want to help daddy? Daddy needs help! :D

I think you secretly want us to die.

Look at your avatar.

Look.
At.
Your.
Avatar.

Now watch as it changes and no longer makes sense.

I do! I do!

:D

... Well shit.
I reserve the right to be aggressive if my friends beat an innocent woman to death! That shouldn't count! Though I don't think the game has events like that.
It should.

Oh no. Not secretly.

Be Helpful and Play quietly!

I don't want to die yet, we've still got to marry, go get a dog, join the mafia among other things.

Since we're tied at two and two, I'm going to flip a coin: heads for helpfulness, tails for rationality.



LET'S HELP DADDY

oh god oh god oh god we're going to die





Well.

I guess everything went better than expected.

Out of curiosity, I went back to see what happens if you decide to be a good girl and play quietly:





February 8th, 2013: The day we learned that it's better to throw yourself into a dangerous situation than to be a rational human being.

Hmm. Maybe it depends on your stats or something. I remember I played quietly in that situation and nothing happened to me.

Speaking of stats, let's check in on them.





MUSCLES WHAT MUSCLES



We have the same gentle, feminine touch as a freight train.


There there, Lloddy. You've got lots of growing to do before society holds you accountable for your actions.

They may have won the battle…



But they have not won the war.

It shocked him so much that his beard fell off. Really.



If only our mother was a better influence, we might have avoided growing up believing that washing machines are inherently naughty things.
Just something to keep in mind for when we have to explain to our therapist the root of our washing machine fetish.

The little drawings are so cute
keep it up, you son of a gun

I am adoring the drawings.

(But please only give us the G-rated Protagonist/Washing Machine shipping pictures when we reach the young adult years.)

Those drawings are so freaking cute adorable!

I will try to restrain myself, both from drawing fan art and from making steam-cycle puns.

Also I'm glad that people like the drawings. I was running out of good stock to use and I figured drawings would be better.

Yeah, the drawings are fantastic. As long as they're not too much for you, they're definitely a great addition to the LP.

Like? I LOVE those drawings. So cute~!

Also hi.