Film noir over the rainbow: Let's play Emerald City Confidential.

While I'm still laid up by stomach pains, I have a question: How can I link directly to the posts with LP content in my first post like I had planned to? I tried once already but something went wrong.

When you click at the post's number, like, in your post I'm quoting here, #81, there will appear a link to it. I don't know if that's what you want, though.

What Sofalisa said.

And that sounds miserable. I hope you feel better.

Thank you! I'll get on it soon, I really should have checked sooner though.

Thank you as well, I'm just not even really sure what started it or anything. I've just been feeling weak on top of it, but that's probably just from not eating as much because of the pain with it. Blergh. I am starting to get my appetite back at least, so hopefully the rest will stop soon enough. I just have to remind myself not to eat too much at once or too fast.

I'm feeling much better now, and I'll be starting on the next LP update later today, I promise.

Blergh. FINALLY getting this out. No more sickness, no more procrastinating, no more living at all until this update is finished.

And to add to the list of things we can't do, I don't think we'll ever get to the university at this point.

~Five: Jack Pumpkinhead~
When we last left our heroine Petra, we learned Anzel was a smuggler and also learned absolutely nothing we can use at the moment about Bill and Trot, during a lovely snark-off with General Jinjur. Petra kindly informed us that if there's smuggling in Oz, Jack Pumpkinhead is involved, and the readers (except Eboby ) voted to go see him first. Now, I wonder what our good friend Jack could POSSIBLY look like.



...A talking pumpkin growing pumpkins and living in a pumpkin. I hope you people aren't disappointed, I'm sure none of you saw that coming.

Petra also informs us that his house has grown since she last saw it, and that those pumpkins may one day be used as new heads. With that most likely useless piece of information in mind, let's see what he knows about Anzel. And about why no one but Eboby wants to go to the university.



...Well, at least he got to the point quickly. That's more than I can say for most of the people we've talked to. Of course then he also did it in the most suspicious way possible, so that means he's secretly behind it all.

WHAT EYES?

They talk about Anzel, but Jack continues to insist he doesn't know anything. All we really learn is that Petra has some minor confusion regarding eyes, and that two years ago she tried to pin Jack for smuggling, but it didn't work.

Let's try talking about pumpkins. Surely he'll be fine with talking about those, right?



...oh, Petra honey. No, just...Just no. You're usually so good at witty comments, what happened?



I hate to side against the heroine here, Petra, but pumpkin man has a point. If it was this bad for me one time, imagine having to listen to it for YEARS.

After that horrible pun, we learn that two years ago Petra tried breaking open one of Jack's pumpkins to find out if illegal magical goods were stored inside, but found nothing. Jack called the guards, and she nearly got arrested for her trouble...Can I just say how amusing I find it that not only has a rumored smuggler, who could get arrested himself, called the guards on Petra once, but basically threatened to again, knowing there's some chance he could be caught?



Petra says that she learned two important things that day:



Well in your defense, Petra, that is a lot of pumpkins. I don't think even Jinjur could, or would, go around checking each and every one on the belief one might have illegal magical goods inside.



He doesn't look like anything. This face is a carved gourd, there's not even a candle inside or anything!
I continue trying to force him to admit that he's totally a smuggler, but he refuses to admit anything, just as he apparently refused to admit anything two years ago. And with that, this update will be rather short, but next time, we may actually have more to look forward to, as it appears we'll FINALLY be forced to go to the university! I'm sure Eboby will be very happy.

NEXT TIME, what IS at this university? Will everyone be let down that we're forced to go there? Is everyone already disappointed that I took so long for such a short update? Will the next one be out today, or tomorrow? Is Jack actually a smuggler, will we smash his pumpkins until he admits something? Will Petra make more bad puns? Where is Anzel? Will Jinjur and Petra ever be reunited, make up, and live happily ever after? WHEN WILL WE SEE TOTO?!

Most of this will be answered at some point, surprisingly. Until then, have a bonus picture that I wasn't going to include, because it was irrelevant, yet in my mind it seemed more amusingly perverted than it was. When asked what was in his pumpkins, Jack had this to say:



...Okay, so Jack's seeds aren't nearly as great as I thought they were and this is a weak ending, but at least the next chapter shouldn't be stalled by my stomach. That makes up for it, right?...Probably not.

Punch him, Petra! PUNCH HIM IN THE PUMPKIN LIKE YOU WANT TO.

I wish there was an option for that, I really do. It would have made for a much better update. I'm sorry for taking so long to get this one out then making it so short compared to the others, but at the very least my stomach is pretty much back to normal now, so that wont be getting in the way anymore.

Incremental steps. I know how much work goes into these, and on slow days I just remind myself even small steps mean more of the game is covered. You don't have to apologize.

No no Petra dear. Jack wouldn't hide his smuggling in plain pumpkins. The loot could only be found by cavity search. As in the smuggled stuff is inside his pumpkin head.

Is it weird that, if it were an option, I would totally romance Jack?

A little weird. But also awesome.

If this were a dating sim, I would go for Jinjur first, but Jack would be a close second at least.

I would go for white-dressed scarecrow. Because awesome lines.

Also, Hams, you're my spouse.
I'm going through a hard time reading 50 Shades of Grey.
I need psychological support and a hug.
Do something!

Fair warning, Hams, if you as much as mention helicopter-shaped balloons we're going to have a problem.

Helicopter-shaped balloons, you said? *nervous twitch* *nervous twitch*

*carefully pokes zombie hamster in a top hat and monocle*

Oh, Jack. He's such a scoundrel~ /swoons
He totally has it for Petra, all of his seeds are meant for her, he'd let her look inside his pumpkin every day, and so on and so forth. He's a bit skinny for me, but still, I'd tap that (after Ginger, of course, because that UST cannot be ignored).
Dunno if I could go for The Hobo In The White Suit (let's pretend we don't know who he is to avoid hurting Petra's feeling. She's pretty otome-protagonist-ish when it comes to him, isn't she?). He creeps me out a bit, and riddles aren't a turn on for me. Also I feel this calls for a pun, something about the strawman having a point, but unless Eboby wants to step in, that is not to be.

The university, blah. It has *shudders* portraits in it!

Why are you reading that to begin with?! But you poor thing, I feel your pain. C'mere.

*My head casually falls off and rolls across the floor as the poking moves it slightly* Dammit Lady. And I just ran out of staples too.

I like Hobo In White Suit *shifty eyes* But she is pretty otome-protagonist about him, but to be fair, the first time I played the game I was about as oblivious as her. Looking back now, I question how that was possible.

And I know, I know, no one is eager to go to the university, but an update of procrastinating and avoiding it wouldn't really move the game along and would just involve me clicking everything and then talking about what I clicked on, and no one wants to see that more than they do already, so we're going back to school tonight (The update will be coming later, but will be today - I have stuff to do soon, so that'll stall updating. Blergh.)

OMG, you suddenly, from a hamster, turned into a weird looking dog! With elastic arms! Thank you for the hug anyway.

I'm reading it because I want to have the right to hate this book without listening to the "you hate it 'cause you didn't read it, if you did, you would love it" shit.

Also, I think I'm discovering myself as a masochist, or I wouldn't take 18 chapters of this terrible, terrible book.

Maybe that's the reason I enjoy listening to Excalibur Song:

Duct tape works in a pinch.

If not, I do know how to sew and can stitch that back on for ya. :D

What about Super Glue?

I would try it, but I'm not 100% sure that it works on undead hamster flesh. Also, I don't have any. :(

I've also heard Super Glue can be dissolved with nail polish remover, and I'm not sure if we'll be visiting any nail polish remover factories in this game.

I really, really need to work on my punctuality. The LP is still going on, but every time I sit down and tell myself I'm going to update, something either distracts me or gets in the way. I'll get on it soon, I just hate that the moment I start trying to do something, I'm suddenly not motivated to do anything.

Oh I understand it perfectly, spouse. I'm going through it right now.
Need... To... Fight... Laziness... Need... To... Update... LP...

You just need a bit of pig-headed determination! Or... habit, I guess. That's basically how I keep my LPs going.

Schoolwork, you say? No, no, I had jeans and tea to buy today!

I feel like I have little else to do than update LPs.

I kind of hate being unemployed right now.

EDIT: I know the like button doesn't entirely work that way, but it's kind of funny to see "I hate being unemployed" -- "5 people like this!"

You could all do what I do and swear that after you get your school stuff done you'll play a little, but end up falling asleep instead. It's quite an effective way to accidentally avoid updating.

No worries, Hams of Wrath.

Unrelated, but I think I was just trolled by Spotify. Spotify, that is not a RED album. Spotify, why did you put that there? I... I don't understand.

Duuude, don't say that! You're living the dream! The filthy, lazy, dream of playing video games all day and never washing the floors because washing the floors suuuuck! Even more than doing your laundry because you don't even get the benefit of a lovely fragment! Since the floor detergent stuff fade real quickly!
...
I kind of veered of topic there but you catch my drift.

Hahaha.

Fuck washing the floors. I mean, seriously.

Really I'm just antsy because I went from being unemployed due to health issues (unfun but probably necessary to avoid worse problems) to being healthy enough to get a job and having to wait for other people to get a move on various legal paperwork I'm not going to go into right now (which could take months if I'm unlucky). So that's my life.

We must find a way to get through it together honey, to build a better world for our maybe-babies, a world with great LPs and no laziness! Without distractions, we must go forth without doubt, and with a determination to rival that of-Ooooh, a butterfly!

I was determined to update every day at first and tried to make a habit of at least playing, but then suddenly every thing else just seemed so amazing and fun and I needed to do it all right this second, then by the time I remember that I have to update eventually, I'm half asleep and wondering when it got dark out when I could swear it was morning just a minute ago. Then I crash.

Wanna update mine for me? It's certainly something to do, especially since you'd have to drive or fly God knows how far to my house to do it.

Along with school stuff, add food, family stuff, and reading every single thing on the internet, and that's pretty much how it goes for me. Also, I fear how little I'll update once December comes and everything gets distractingly festive.

Yes, the horrors of being free all day to play video games and hang on forums~ The HUMANITY!

Just kidding, I was unemployed for like two months after being released from the army and almost went outta my mind, since I barely went out at all (all my friends were working their ass off or still in the army). So yeah, I sympathies with you, my desperate little comrade! (NAKAMAAAAA)

Did you get some money outta all this? Or are you living on one meal a day (instant noodles, naturally) to avoid dipping into your saving?

Savings -- bwahahahaha... ha... ha...

I don't have savings =(

Thankfully we got help from friends when it was really rough earlier in the year. My husband works, and now we can get by on his salary + food stamps, so I'm not starving or anything.

It's less "I need a job to live" and more "I need a job so I can save up some money/pay back taxes/see a doctor more than once a year," which makes me pretty fortunate, really.

You're married~! Kya, people are actually getting married these days, not just in american dramedies! How quaint <3

I hate seeing doctors, they're always really rude to me and poke me harder then necessary because I don't believe in their food pyramid propaganda. So you have all of my sympathy! /throws virtual kitties at you

Also, I'm sure you meant "money to buy more video games" rather then silly things like taxes, but it's okay, forgetting things isn't rare at your age.

LOL, that too. Taxes should come first, but probably won't, seeing as video games are much cheaper.

How will we have babies? Adoption? Artificial insemination? Who will be the mom?

Tea?! I love tea.



Just replace waffles with tea. :D

That's basically my feelings. I've been trying to get Anastasia Kusmi tea in a bag instead of a container for a while now because I had three containers of different size already and while they're very stylish they take up a lot of space. Finally succeeded. Took me 6 months. Kusmi, they're picky about how much they send to a store at a time.

And now I want waffles.