Game Journalism Fart Sound: 2012 Edition

Matt Peckham.... who is that guy again? Is that...<rush to internet search>, yup, it is indeed that guy who reviewed NWN2 and complained about it being a D&D roleplaying game.

So, yeah, his top ten list is a bit weird, mostly because it has a couple of games that I hadn't really heard of or played, but generally that's down at the bottom. Little Big Planet? I guess he must actually own a Vita. The Last Story? Oh, it's wii. Papo and Yo? Never heard of it, but it actually looks like it might be worth a try. The rest are mostly just standard stuff I'm seeing crop up on the biggest game of year thread. So even though I personally dislike the guy, that wasn't a bad list.

Why do you guys think Charles hates Xenoblade Chronicles?

You know, I try to avoid linking things here. Glass houses and all.

That said, fuck this.

Now Tom is trolling Kotaku, or vice versa, I guess.

I was thinking about his 1 star Halo 4 review, and it is a bit odd that a movie getting 1 star from a reviewer isn't that a big deal, but gamers feel that if a game is technically competent it should get a minimum of about 2.5 stars. Which isn't necessarily to say that Tom's quest to change the game review score paradigm is a noble one, but I guess it's not completely trollish either. And getting all the hits from the Halo defense force probably doesn't hurt either.

Hmm, I think the difference is that a 1-star movie tends to be really bad, like I feel stupider just for watching it. Halo 4, while I haven't played it, even if it's just a total rehash of 3, will probably still be fun, so closer to 2, or 2.5 stars, IMHO.

Yeah, for a movie where the general consensus is 1-star. But even decent to good movies like The Dark Knight Rises get a smattering of 1- to 2- star reviews and it doesn't seem like that big a deal. Or maybe people do flip out about it and I'm just less in touch with movie review backlash.

Armando White is like the contrarian movie reviewer. But your right, I don't think he gets as much vitriol, I think people get more invested into videogames.

http://www.avclub.com/articles/its-time-for-armond-white-to-explain-why-everyone,65051/

People don't get upset because Armond White has such a history of being utterly wrong about everything that he's just laughed at. Chick has a little ways to go before he's at that level but he's damned close.

Rex Reed was the one that gave Dark Knight Rises 1 star, but I'm not familiar with his tastes. Another thing about movie reviews is that it seems like it's more normal to say "That guy only really likes artsy movies, so of course he didn't care for The Dark Knight Rises." Whereas video game reviewers are supposed to be more objective for some reason. But again, I could be projecting.

Kind of off topic but I really have no issue with people 1/5ing TDKR. Particular if the review works on a "3 facepalm-strikes and you're out" system or something. That movie repeatedly boggled my mind.

Armond White doesn't have a game reviewer equivalent.

http://www.gameranx.com/updates/id/...ware-next-mass-effect-release-date-is-a-hoax/

I have never, ever heard of either GamerSyndrome or GameRanx. Has anyone else? Is it possible the two sites are literally two 13 year old kids who go to the same school and each thinks the other is a big farty poopoo brain?

I'm sure they're no less relevant than PGNx.

I guess it depends on what you think Armond White thinks he's actually doing. Have you met Alex Kierkegaard aka icycalm?

You do realise he is now aware of us? Mere mention of his name turns his baleful eye toward us, and his scourging of our forum commence as he bitches about us in his echo-chamber.

I struggle to ascertain whether he is serious or some Trickster spirit. I can only hope the latter, as the former leads only to our doom.

I see he requires you cross his palm before he reveals his secrets now. Very apt, but who, and why?



The saddest part is that I can't remember why he annoys me this much. Edit: the faintest sketches of memory say something about misogyny, narcissism, holocaust denial and a toxic personality in his writing.

Hah, it took me a second to remember that yes, I do remember him. I would say though that White's still sort of his own phenomenon because in that he's actually published/known off the internet.

The reason I linked the previous story about "gamersyndrome" is this:

http://penny-arcade.com/report/edit...writes-how-game-journalism-is-its-own-worst-e

That's how modern entertainment writing works though - if you don't have your own story, you find one on another site and then re-write it. If it appears on more than one site, it's obviously been validated.

So we enter a state of circular referencing that grants even the stupidest story legitimacy.

Yeah, but he knows better than to range out of areas where he has the ability to delete posts. Oh, the caltropsings...

That's what I'm trying to tell Jason. He's a big deal!

Ok, well, try reading this. Take the obvious, stack it with poorly understood references, and then dress it up with the worst mimicry of academic writing this side of Judith Butler. Then be a huge fucking asshole.

I hate you so much.

You're just jealous. To wit:

I know what you're thinking; sure, you and I can both smash semi-coherent sentences about somewhat related thoughts together. But we're just amatuers. This guy is the Bobby Fischer of run on sentences; he got down inside run-on sentences and found art. Also: this is a warm-up sentence. I bolded all of the breaking elements because I wanted everyone to share the joy I got from noting them.

Did you hear the batman swoopy transition music when you read that? I sure as fuck did.

*Scans article with EKG* Hmmmm, I detect no irony or subtle trolling.

I'm laughing at the superior intellect.

There we go. The absolute best part of this sentence is that it has 3 fucking dashes. This sentence is some sort of Nth-dimensional grammatical construct. It doesn't parse because we're just 3-dimensional beings (actually, we're 2-dimensional beings, the 3d is a side-effect of. . . you know what, I'm veering). The fault is ours.

So basically, You and I are fucking neanderthals, and you have no right to criticize this man's writing. Indeed, calling it writing is like trying to model something without actually having any of the math for it.

I am only a couple of parapgrahs in and unable to continue -- too busy at work to read more, since I'm lead support dev this week -- looking forward to finishing this later, when I return to my apartment, after the long weary ride home, which I will endure only with the hope that I will be able to again return to this article, and also DARK SOULS -- the greatest game of it's generation.

Cleve would disagree.

(--
Go ahead, decipher that hieroglyphic.

Have you ever wondered what Brian Crecente's house looks like? Me neither, but Polygon's gotta post something:

http://www.polygon.com/2012/12/14/3766080/playgrounds-brian-crecente

RPS responds:

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2012/12/17/this-is-my-playground/

That's definitely a house!

You will regret.

Nice to see that Mr Crecente has a Swag Room.

what the

how

and the why and

:(

EDIT: Upon further reflection, come on.

I mean, really.

GOD DAMNIT

I clicked open Adree's spoiler.

Yeah, Polygon just jumped the shark as far as I am concerned.

So I tried to read the rest of that article (12k+ words, I checked) over the weekend.

I got farther in, but I ultimately couldn't finish. It was a fun ride for awhile though.

I thought Polygon was supposed to be cool. It seemed like a good site at first. What happened?? :(

C'mon, the guy works out of a closet. Feel some pity for him.

She was drunk again?

At least it was marked as humor?

A flat attempt at humor from someone who spent way too much time at industry trade shows.