General Relationship Thread

Yeah! I remember watching it via your signature link, Quackers. I figured the project in your post above was a continuance of the webseries - sorry for assuming and for offering up my opinion unsolicited.

I'm glad everything is resolving itself. That sounds like a "yikes" level scenario. I hope that you at least got some enjoyment out of this, or maybe that you'll find some increased exposure as a result. Your proposed solution to any continued involvement is perfect, though, hahaha. That is so totally the equivalent of just not picking a bandmate up before a gig. Awesome.

It seems that you are so bogged down with school/etc right now, but do you have any projects of your own coming up? I'm sure you'll let us know if so, but I/others will definitely be excited for them. :)

I am learning to wear something with a hood whenever I talk to the bf through Skype.
That way, I can "retreat" without actually retreating when it gets too...too.

Thanks Bryce! I really appreciate it. You are one of like five people I know who actually watched it. Even my mom never made it past episode 2 :P

I'm actually working with a group of SAG actors/producers to do a short this spring. AFTER all my crazy school/work/life drama has worked itself out. Best part? All I'm doing is writing the script, then acting in it. Everything else? SOMEONE ELSE'S PROBLEM.

My friend was very understanding about things today. But like I said, we've been around this bend before, so I'll just be glad to hand it off and I'm going to be very wary in the future of offering my help/giving it when asked. Which kind of sucks but, this entire situation has been super stressful.

If you have to wear special defensive clothing when video-chatting with the bf, maybe it's time to DTMFA.

It's not video chatting, just speaking.
It's just sometimes...sometimes...
There are things that I guess need to be talked about sometimes? And he can get very...passionate about it. And sometimes it's just too much, and I feel like I need to escape. This way, I'm escaping without really escaping.

I'm sort of over Ex's trying to get back into my life.

Just went on a date that was intended to set my roommate up with a gentleman I met on OkC. I'm not sure who ended up being whose wingman, but the gent is clearly totally inept at flirting with men and wishes he wasn't...and my roommate is oblivious. Bless them. It's a project. :D

...also, in a move I swear was unintentional, I slipped up and talked about "places to see, people to do, things to meet..." and apparently made an impression. For being cute, not for being totally inappropriate. >.>

Dump him. You are coming across as very unhappy with the relationship.

I'm not going to say you should dump him* but requiring coping mechanisms for baseline interactions with another human being is a really strong indicator that something direly needs to change, whether it's something that that simply changes the tenor of the relationship or something as extreme as severing it entirely.

Your primary responsibility is always to yourself. Not to another. Bear that in mind when you make your decisions.

*My opinion on that matter is available to you if you desire it.

SPOILER TAG TIIIIIME~

Imma stand by my previous statement; something direly needs to change or the relationship needs to end, because it's clearly, flatly unhealthy for you. Also, the fact that he pressures you to talk about things that bear a net cost for you is a horrible thing for him to do.

I'm with Aaron. You seem to be in a place where you really need to focus on looking after yourself, you shouldn't be having to worry about someone else at the same time. It will only add to your own stress. Equally he doesn't seem to be in a place where he can look after you without it being detrimental to his well being (I have the stressed out teacher thing going on myself). This is unhealthy for both of you right now. Change it or end it.

Yeah, I agree with NyimaR that this relationship sounds unhealthy and counterproductive to both people. I know it's easy for us to paint the guy as some kind of horrible person (and maybe he is), but if you've ever been in a situation where someone you care about is having trouble that you can't help with - which they struggle to help themselves with - it is frustrating. He may be just as frustrated with himself, because he's probably not handling it as well as he could; he probably doesn't know how to - very few people would.

Either way, the situation sounds untenable for everyone involved. I don't think either of you are able to meet each other's needs right now and it's unfair to you both to continue adding these expectations and stresses to your own lives, when it seems each of you has your own problems that you're struggling to cope with. You clearly care about each other, but you can do that without the added pressures of a romantic relationship. It's like you're trying to run a marathon with a broken leg - you need to heal before you can support that weight.

MulMizu
I don't really want to say one thing or another on your relationship and whether you should break it off (though I won't judge anyone above me who did, but I don't think I know enough to give you advice about this). What I will say is that I sort of recognize your situation where you don't want to talk about certain issues because you feel guilty about making people worry. One of my best friends wouldn't talk about her self-esteem issues for years because she was afraid it would upset me or make me worry about her but the thing is, you don't have to feel guilty about stuff like that at all. What I learned from this situation is that it's easier said than done, and that you maybe will even feel guilty about feeling guilty but please don't, that's the opposite of what I'm trying to say! I don't know your exact situation but if it's anything like the feelings my friend has... I'll just say that I know that it's hard but like NyimaR said, you should really only focus on yourself and your feelings in this matter. I'm not sure but from what I've read in your post it sounds like your boyfriend has good intentions but he just doesn't really get it, and that's understandably difficult for both of you.

Please try to cut yourself some slack. Easier said than done, like I said, but really, trust me on this okay ;).

Edit: Just in case I haven't made it clear enough: the reason you shouldn't feel guilty about it is because that's what relationships (with partners, friends, maybe family) are all about. Sharing your problems with your loved ones is never a shameful thing. That doesn't mean you have to share everything with everybody, if you're not comfortable enough, don't do it. Just don't feel guilty once you have.

Here is how things ended up going with that other Israeli girl I was doing so well with:



No, I don't know why.

Fucking dating, man.

I'm sorry, dude. :(

I thought Bill was dating an Indian girl.

I thought Bill WAS an Indian girl.

I thought Bill was dating all the girls.

So... the rabbit died?

I'll find these jokes funny in a week or so guys, I promise.

*semi-awkward bro hug*

That sucks if it just ended without any explanation, especially since it sounded so promising. Feel free to vent if it'd help you feel better.

That sucks. :(

Sorry, dude. Was just trying to cheer you up a bit. If you had strong feelings (or even burgeoning feelings), it sucks that it got pulled out from under you like that. That's a bad feeling that I think most of us can relate to.

When you post that panel and say "that's what happened", I am very concerned because I know what the rest of that panel looks like and I think you do too.

Do I even want to know about that comic?

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no.

Just send them this.

I was in a bar, they played music, I'm doing dorky dancing on the floor. A girl grabs me and starts dancing with me. I go along for a bit, and then she looks over at another woman and says "is that your girlfriend?" I say "no, that's my wife."

I think Einstein would something to say about how quickly she left the area.

:)

BEHOLD, my thought process:

What ...

what the ....

i don't ...

hahahahaha

Haha, I don't doubt it. <3

...
i want to matter to you, you dork.

The best thing about being married 12 years?

Not having to date anymore.

Mul, unsolicited advise coming. Dump him if he is stressing you out.

I once nursed a girlfriend through a nervous breakdown - we met just as it was taking hold, and I was just so different from her previous boyfriend that it was a good change for her, and she needed to feel that she was stiill attractive, and I loved her manicness and damnit just wanted to nurse that broken psyche back to life. Lasted about a year - but for a good portion of that she was taking a break from college in France, and I would travel across to see her. Of course, when she was recovered she moved on to someone that was much more her normal type. All ended amicably though - we were room-mates for two years after college

Speaking of people who don't know how to behave in a bar, a couple of months ago a female friend (who is very attractive) and I were in a bar that we visit most Wednesday nights because there's an open jam. We observed a sort of skanky-looking (sorry) drunk girl hanging all over a much older man but didn't think much about it until the girl caught my eye and said, "Hey, is your friend bisexual?" I said, "I don't know, why don't you ask her yourself?" but then she got all shy. I could have had WAY more fun with that. I should have invited her to sit with us and tell us exactly what she had in mind for my friend, which I suspect was a three-way with her older guy friend. I might have proposed myself as a substitute for my friend and/or asked how much they would pay me to pimp my friend out to them. Alas, I was not that quick on my feet.

I saw the guy (but not the girl) at the bar last night - turns out he's a legendary steel guitar player. I wonder if he's married. Muahahahahahaha.

Does the ""OoOoOoOoOoOoOoh" indicate vibrato?

Why would anyone date Taylor Swift at this point? One fuckup and you're immortalized in a mediocre hit pop song.

Seriously. She's adorable but she is pretty much the alpha passive aggressive wench.

In other news, things might not be as bad as me crying in urine-soaked pants after all. Far from it, eve. Life is so weird.