General Relationship Thread

And plus that whole 'certifiably crazy' thing she's got going, you know?

(I don't know the details, but wasn't she obessively dating some Kennedy kid who was still in high school and stalking him to the degree that she bought a house right across the street from his? And then cheated on him with his cousin or something?)

Dammit Bill. You are seriously giving me schaedenfreude whiplash.

Does that mean that what we've got hee-yah is a fail-yuh to communicate?

Essentially.

In my head, for this scenario, your wife is doing something menacing in the background, like sharpening knives or cocking a gun while your not looking.

Wait... that's not normal for wives?

Well, that clears up a lot of my confusion about my divorce. And why I stubbornly remain single.

"And then he ran into my knife! He ran into my knife ten times!"

Mossad decided her secret op wasn't over after bringing down Petraeus after all.

My father has ended up dancing with women a few times when he goes out (especially with one of his close friend's wife.) He is a typical distinguished elder gentleman. My mother's general attitude is maybe one of the dancees will take him away from her, said with glee. I think they might like each other a little though.

For some people that's how it is. My wife would be the one with the daggers. Though they might be aimed at me, instead of the other woman.

Heh - my wife asks on a regular basis if I have been hit on recently, and gets a bit put out if I say no. Reasoning seems to be that because she finds me attractive, just about every female should do as well. I've pointed out to her that in normalville, early 40's geeks aren't considered sex symbols, even if they still have hair

My partner is blissfully free of jealousy, perhaps because she thinks no one else would have me. :)

Won't lie, I am always a bit delighted if/when Ingmar gets hit on. Except for this one dude, who goes a little overboard. That guy is just a little odd.

Most of the time, I appreciate when Aaron gets hit on by other women. Guys, though...it just makes me giggle. A lot.

The one dude I'm referring to is just really ... persistent. Although he behaved himself once he had to deal with me face to face, instead of me being this theoretical wife he'd never actually seen. :P

When I worked at Kroger, I used to get hit on all the time by the guy who ran the Seafood dept. This happened even after I had a girlfriend (who later became my wife). It was pretty much daily, but we just laughed it off. I used to get hit on by gay men all the time. I'm not around as many now...or maybe I've lost it!

I know how that goes. I grew into a tall, thin baby-faced young man who, as a gay friend once described, had an innocence that begged to be taken behind the barn and tarnished. So I couldn't go anywhere without getting hit on by a gay man--the mall, class, library, bar, movie, bookstore, grocery store, etc. I used to complain that I wish I had that affect on women. Being a typical redneck from Ohio, though, it used to freak me out a bit until, as a liberal arts major, I spent enough time around gays and became friends with some that I became more comfortable (yes, I realize how bigoted that sentence sounds). At age 48, overweight, and bald now. . .no longer a problem, time and bad genes took care of it. Oddly enough, about 10 years ago I still had most of my hair and was a workout fiend, and at work women from ages 25-50 would go after me like crazy (especially once my wife was pregnant). It got so bad at one point that my boss, a woman, asked if I wanted to start filing sexual harassment charges. Which I laughed off. But it sucked, because as a younger single guy I never had women be so aggressive with me and as a married guy I couldn't, er, take advantage of the overtures. Aw, well.

My gay co-worker who's known me for three years thinks I'm making it up about gays hitting on me so much 20-30 years ago. :/

On a completely unrelated note (but on-topic) I've re-established a working relationship with my sister after 2 or 3 years of radio silence. (and several years of spotty communication before that) Or rather... she did most of the legwork, and I just kinda returned her calls. So... I can't claim much credit for it. But still... it's kinda nice to have a family again, even if it only consists of a sister.

Turns out she's now a successful employee of the National Forestry Service, living in Nowhere, Oregon. But they keep sending her all over the country to train others (and be trained herself), and apparently she's going to be put in charge of the forest burnings in one of the Western regions. It involves mostly diplomacy with home owners & ranchers, rather than knowledge of the ecosystem, and according to her it's a "royal pain in the ass". But I can't help but notice the note of pride that enters her voice when she talks about it... and I also notice that she didn't turn the post down.

Fucking birthdays. Saw my parents this weekend.

Begun the "y u no breeds" have.

I promised to settle down with a nice goat and raise a crop of satyrs.

I'm glad my sister has spawned. Nobody's been bugging me to get kids, and I'm perfectly content to spare the world the horror of the product half of my DNA would create.

what does it mean when i am kind of
unhappy about
the thought of the bf coming to visit for more than a week

oh no ohh no

There are young uns in both my family and Mr. W's family, so the pressure for kids isn't too bad. It was pretty bad from my mom until I told her, "face it mom, no grandkids, get a puppy."

It means you have a case of the vapors.

I made my decision to not have children at age 15, and what followed was a decade and a half of "oh, you'll change your mind" from absolutely everyone - family members, coworkers, you name it. While I don't blame anyone for thinking a choice I made in my teens wouldn't stick, I still chafe at how no one took it seriously. The comments didn't really stop until I got married and still didn't waver in the slightest. My mom took it the hardest - both her sons have children, but I'm her only daughter, and I get that it's different when it's your daughter's child. It's disappointing to her, and I am sorry for that, but the worst thing I could do would be to have a child to please someone other than myself.

My mum seems fairly reconciled to me not having kids, but I'm not sure whether she thinks I'm gonna change my mind later on... at least she doesn't badger me about it. My dad thinks it's a very sensible decision, but he's never liked kids. I just can't see how handing my genes on will be of much use to anyone!

It means you should just fucking dump the guy already, cripes. I know people here have been all "squawk, we're only hearing HER side, squawk!" but you know what? He could be the sweetest, nicest dude but given you are apparently incapable of saying anything nice about him here, it means the relationship has certainly run its course and there is nothing wrong with that. Stop making yourself miserable. He'll get over it. And if he IS the sweetest, nicest dude around, he will eventually recover and find a new lady who likes him better than you do, while you are free to find a new gentleman that fits your needs far better and doesn't make you hide within your sweatshirt or angst about having to spend time with him.

Sorry to be so blunt.

My mother knows better than to question my judgement on the subject. That's why I set out a number of ground rules: question me about any topics I've told her not to, and she loses all contact for three months. Granted, she's dumber than a box of rocks so Pavlovian conditioning takes a while, but she's slowly learning. Possibly because she's dumber than the average lab rat, but there you go.

My parents have mostly given up. When I hit 30 and still did not produce any babies (apparently 30 is the magical YOU REALLY WANT THEM age in most people's minds), I think they realized none were going to be springing forth from my womb. Ingmar's parents still mention it from time to time, but I think they've mostly shifted their hopes off of us and onto his sister, as she's said she actually WANTS them. She's my age, though (~35), so I hope she has one soon, as we are getting a bit old for babies. :P

Well said. IMO the bluntness is justified.

So I've gone ahead and signed up for the wackiest thing I could think of - speed dating! 20 guys, 20 gals, 60 minutes - guaranteed hilarity! Statistically there should be at least one or two instances of "I want to meet her/she wants to meet me" so that could pan out - but even if not, it's guaranteed to produce at least some degree of crazy stories.

Plus it's like three blocks from my apartment, so I can always just get blitzed and drag myself home if it's a total wash.

I KNOW WHERE I'M GONNA BE TOMORROW i'm sorry that was uncalled for i'll just be leaving now

Pfft. If I was a single straight girl I'd totally go. Nute's hot.

Oh, yes, I've had this as well. Even when I didn't have a boyfriend, I still got people asking me when I was going to have kids, even though my answer to that was, "I don't really want them, I'm not very good with children." Yeah, I heard the "you'll change your mind" thing as well, but I never did change it. I don't honestly understand why some people (mostly other women) seem to be so insulted when you tell them you don't want kids, even to the point of being told I'm a selfish person for not wanting them. I know what's best for me, why do other people have to insist they know me better than I know myself? Argh.

It's actually quite selfish or egocentric to have kids. There is a bit of a global population crisis going on and anyone that is in a position to properly provide for a child will be eligible for adoption. You have kids for one of four reasons: 1) You're careless/unlucky and it's an accident, 2) You're weak and simply do what society/peers/family tell you to do, 3) You want kids to make yourself happy, 4) You think your genetic code is so awesome that it just has to be passed on. 1,2 are really bad reasons to have kids and can lead to bad parents. 3 and 4 can both go either way in terms of quality of parenting but at least those people thought it all the way through. Anyone that negatively judges another person for not wanting kids is not worth listening to.

I was accused of selfishness, too - my reply was "Exactly!" I have heard it said multiple times by parents from all walks of life that once you have a child, your life is no longer about you. To people who are meant to be parents, this is a wonderful thing, and God bless them for it. To me, that sounds like absolute hell. I'm just not a person who is suited for motherhood, the same way I'm not suited to be, I don't know, an astronaut.

I also hate the assumption that since I don't want kids, I must not like kids and am therefore a terrible person. I like kids fine. I'm completely in love with my nieces and nephew. I really enamored with lions too, but that doesn't mean I want to be directly responsible for one's well-being.

Or 5) you want to have kids and that's totally okay.

Don't listen to assholes who tell you differently with absolutely no experience to speak of.

Hypocrisy, thy name is QuantumBit.

No there isn't, and that's not true.