General Relationship Thread

I know I would not make a good Escalade.

I, on the other hand, provide an Escaladesque ride to all passengers. Classy, smooth and blaring rap loudly out of every orifice.

WAY tmi.

Not NEARLY enough information, actually. For instance, does Aeon have heated seats? Automatic antenna? Bluetooth connectivity package? Most importantly, do his rims spin (oh my)?

That explains a lot.

You askin to kick the tires and look under my hood bro?

Oh baby, oh baby.

Pah. You young'uns and your double entendres. Get off my lawn.

No, I am asking to use my dipstick to check that you've got enough lubrication. After I've used my grease gun to get your lug nuts off, checked out your trunk, and made sure the drive shaft is transmitting power smoothly using my vice grips them I'm going to get your motor running and take you for a spin etcetera etcetera

<fans self>

That isn't what you use a grease gun for at all. You've RUINED sex for me FOREVER.

That's what YOU think.

ftfy

Jeez guys, grease guns are for nipples. Gosh!

what is even going on in here anymore

We're ridin' dirty.

Cheerleader either got demoted to cymbal player in the team band or decided she wanted to play cymbals instead depending on who you talk to.

For the record I didn't ask anyone about her. Other people brought it up because I've apparently signed up for a permanent verbal rss on her life even though we last saw each other waylong ago and haven't talked since.

I'm sharing here because you fuckers by virtue of being on this forum have also signed up for a permanent rss on her life. Especially Nute.

What's the shelf life on a cheerleader before they need to be replaced, anyway?

I didn't know NFL teams had team bands.

I didn't either and I have no idea if it's true or not. Nor do I fucking care despite the posting! Which, yes, puts a dent in that assertion! Just what I've been told by way too many people today, all of whom I'd like to choke in the face.

I'm sure the real reason is that it's the last thing they remember about me as I've been back not once since then, and immediately gives us a topic of fucking conversation that isn't the hurricane that recently messed up my beloved city. Or they could be trolling me. Whatever. That and the 'unusual' surroundings make me extra irritable.

Rrrrrr. Bottom line I got told one time too many in this town and sort of snapped and needed to be like FUCK THIS THING THAT IS HAPPENING without shattering some old person's hip. Seriously why is everyone old out here in the boonies? Also there's not enough beer and my grandma is losing her mind and making nearly lethal food in the process and I am grumpy. GRUMPY.

edit: k i googled and her team has a band with a nonsensical name.

Go home Aeon, you're not drunk.

Well, I just got back last night from a week with my girlfriend. I stayed at her apartment from Monday-Sunday. That's the longest we've ever stayed together. I think the previous was 3 days or so. We did the Thanksgiving thing with her family. One day was spent at her dad's house, and the next at her Mom's family thing. I had a great time at both, even though I was nervous about it. I had met both of her parents, but this was the first family thing, and I had only seen each of them twice before, and not for real long. They were a bit wary of me at first because I'm older and all that. But they seem to have taken to me now. I'm pretty easy to get along with, overall. Plus, they probably realize that it's pretty serious, if she's bringing me to Thanksgiving dinner and all that.

Then, on Saturday, we went to a Murder Mystery Play in Cleveland (at Pickwick and Frolics). It was a lot of fun. They had us go on stage and sing karaoke, which I've actually never done before. I've played Rock Band, but this was a bit different, and I always thought karaoke had a screen to follow or something. We were just thrown out there with a piece of paper with lyrics on it. Anyway, we sang You're the One that I Want (Grease) as a duet. We were pretty bad, but whatever. It was fun. We had dinner as part of the show. Then we won the mystery contest as well, which netted us a bottle of wine and some tickets to the comedy club they have there. It was tons of fun! It was also the Tree Lighting day in Cleveland, so we got to do some of that stuff. There's a picture of me in the post a pic thread from that night.

All and all, a really great Thanksgiving!

Drove to socal. Ugh. Spent a week with my wife's family. Mostly just boring. Had to cringe at two racist comments, one was a cousin who was concerned about moving to chicago because of all the black people there, the other was her brother joking about trading in his child for a black kid, so that it would be 'good at sports'. The first we let slide with little more than an eyeroll, the second was at the dinner table with just close family, and they gave him shit for it, which he deserved.

There's this deli/bakery near my office where I go for lunch every week or two, and there's a woman there who's super cute - one of those radiant people who seems to exude beams of sunlight when they smile. She and I have chatted several times over the last few months, but it's always in this annoying customer situation which is by definition brief and hurried. Using my advanced calculations and powers of observation, I think it's safe to conclude that she's actually interested in talking to me rather than just being nice because I'm a customer; she doesn't seem to treat everyone else with the same regard. I saw her there yesterday and we had a slightly longer conversation, which she kept continuing despite my repeated attempts to let her get back to work. Plus, she's a manager but it appears that she makes a point to bring my order to me personally (which is usually when we end up talking), rather than having the regular cashiers or servicepeople bring it over like they normally wood. So these are possibly good signs.

The thing of it is, I'm kind of at a loss for how to proceed because of the context - I only see her while she's working, and there's always more orders to fill, other customers waiting in line, etc. I thought I might just drop her a card with my number saying something like "hey, if you're single, call me sometime?" but that might be weird. I don't really want to put her on the spot and ask her out verbally while her coworkers are nearby and she's on the clock. I can't really expect her to make moves because from her perspective it's probably more risky to ask me out given the work / customer situation.

Any ideas?

Write number on slip of paper with name.
Slide it over the counter while she takes your money.
Let her know you would like to get to know her better.
Flash charming smile.

There. Done.

I actually mentioned doing that in my post, and said that it seems too weird and potentially sleazy. Plus, she's not usually manning the register.

Then slip it when she's giving you your drink.
I mean, really, sitting and staring at her from a distance or waiting until she gets off work to ambush her is significantly more creepy. Just give her your number, say you'd like to know her better, and be done with it. :T

Right, because that's exactly what I said I would do. Can you refrain from injecting bullshit like this? This is one of those threads where people post personal, sensitive matters - like the Depression thread - so this kind of eye-rolling condescension isn't particularly useful.

I dunno, SuperJay, I kinda like the card idea. When she brings you your food, give her a business card with your personal number written on it and tell her it's in case she'd be interested in giving you a call sometime. It's not a full-blown asking-out, but it gives her the opportunity to communicate with you at a less hectic time wherein asking out would be less problematic. The potential downside is that if she's NOT interested, your future business relationship might get awkward. I have a feeling she's interested, though, because I can tell from your posts here that you're super-dreamy.

Next time you're chatting and have to end it (either because you're leaving, she has to attend the business, etc) just say "You know, I really enjoy our brief chats when I come in. Can we meet at [such and such place nearby] when you [get off work|have a lunch break|etc] and pick up where we left off?" In my view, this opens up many opportunities for her to say yes, either by suggesting a time and place or by saying I'd love to and giving you her number, or to say no she's married and blah blah. No drama, no awkwardness at future customer situations, etc.

If I were in her shoes, hearing that would freak me out.
Something about meeting in a personal one-on-one setting before really getting to know each other/talk on the phone seems unsettling. Then again, that may just be me.


I honestly do believe that it would be a good idea to leave something tangible with your number and name on it and ask to talk. I'm not being condescending when I say this; when I typed the whole "wait to ambush her" thing, it was because I can't see any other way to talk to her. From what I've read here, you seem a bit daunted with the thought of bringing this up verbally, and you don't want to give a piece of paper or card with information.
That doesn't leave any other real way to contact her, unless you want to go the "friend of a friend" route, which doesn't seem very proper.

Hahaha, riiiiight. I think the reason I'm attracted to sunshiney ladies is that I'm such an cynical ass. :)

But yeah, maybe you're right. I'm all about having these things be low-stress, low-impact for everyone involved, so that people can decline gracefully (often by not having to answer outright, on the spot) and both parties can 'save face,' and I'm not too concerned that a lack of interest (or availability*) on her part would harm anything, really. It's not like we're coworkers who need to collaborate on projects together or anything - if she's offended or it gets awkward or something, it'd probably just revert back to a normal customer service interaction. Bummer, but no harm done.

*She doesn't wear a wedding ring but it may be because of work. I keep trying to ask her questions that would give her options to say "my girlfriend and I went to X" or "my husband does Y" but so far no real clues either way. :(

I'd go with a card with number or e-mail instead to "continue the conversation" instead, asking her out seems a bit pushy to someone in the service industry.

That's true generally, but in this situation he already sees her frequently and has spoken to her in person multiple times. I think this is a clear-cut opportunity for escalation rather than just "here's my number, call me maybe."

I think it's the way that was phrased. It sounded very forward.
A "would you like to meet for a sandwich/coffee/lunch/whathaveyou" sounds a lot better. That "Can we meet" is what makes it so unnerving, I think.

Fair enough, and SuperJay would need to fashion the question to fit his personality, the situation, Michigan culture, and so on also. I was just typing a quick summary idea. :)

I do kind of want to use "call me maybe" because of the meta-hilarity, but she'd probably think I have terrible taste in music, which would be an intolerable blow. Because I have amazing taste in music.

Maybe I'll try a combination of the two general ideas - tell her I enjoy talking to her and would love to have more time to do so outside of work, and give her my card with digits/email at that point without directly requiring a Yes / No answer or other on-the-spot response. That way she can just let the matter drop if she's not interested, but it's a framed in a more personal context.

Have a business card made up with a picture of you doing something amazing, like hoisting a bull over your head or wrestling a bear. On the back have printed "Would you like to know more?" and list your contact information, etc.

Upsell yourself, man!

I take it you're volunteering your graphic design skills, then? :D

That inflatable unicorn on fire that you made me was the bee's knees.

Picture of SuperJay looking patriotic, the text having "Calling guarantees service! Do you want to know more?" and his phone number.

I think everyone else has given you much better advice on how to proceed than I could.

However . . . I suspect if there were a boyfriend or husband in the mix, the reveal would have been made. It's been my experience that that info tends to come out sooner rather than later.

I'd be leery of asking out anyone in the service industry. They're conditioned to be friendly, and they're also hit on all the time if they're even remotely cute. I had a friend who was a cute barista and I asked her how often she gets hit on and she was like "Each day?" and I was thinking "Holy crap, you get hit on every day?" And it turned out it was like 3-4 times in any given shift, even at the drive through. She said after a few months of that she stopped chatting with customers because doing so ended up being misinterpreted by pretty much everyone.

It's not like they're totally off limits -- the one time I dated a barista she had to ask me out since I refused to interpret her advances as anything as "she's just being friendly to a customer" -- but it's a danger zone.