Has anything of interest happened to you recently?

Oh, I didn't even know it was only available to people in the UK. I use a VPN service to get American Netflix, so I guess the iPlayer works for me because of that.

Soli, I want to take a sick day and just follow you around.

We went to Philly and embarked on what will forever after become known as The Great Cheese Steak Death March.

It started with going to visit my friend, Kevin, where he'd just moved outside of Philadelphia. This would be a chance for my wife to meet his wife and we'd all do something fun for the day. He asked if I had any ideas about stuff to do, and I said that going to "that corner with the warring cheese steak places" might be fun, but other than that I hadn't been to Philly proper since I was 9 and we went to the Franklin Institute. Last year we went to Chestnut Hill, and that was a nice place to walk around and do the shops, but other than that I have very little experience with Philadelphia.

It turned out Kevin had gone to med school in Philly, so knew the city quite well. All it really took was the merest suggestion that I'd be interested in a gastronomic tour and we were off.

The first stop was Reading Market which is pretty much like Quincy Market except with more Amish and less chain food emporiums. We wanted to get some Amish pickled stuff (personally, I'm a fan of Amish Spiced Apples) but we didn't want to walk around all day with a bag full of jars, so we asked when they closed (5pm) and determined to come back and shop before then.

I was eyeing the pierogis, but never got one (potatoes are a sucker's bet when it comes to gastronomic tourism, according to Anthony Bourdain). My wife stopped for a good soft pretzel, then Kevin said we had to try DiNic's as the first stop on our quest for the best sandwich in Philly. We got in line while my friend Rob and my wife went shopping. It took about a half an hour, but Kevin and I scored two pork italiano's with provolone and greens. The greens were a new one to me. They put some broccoli rabe on top, and the bitterness of the greens just sets off the pork and the cheese. The provolone is also an aged, harder variety than you normally get sliced at the supermarket, so it's got a nice tang to it.

My wife with this sandwich:



Ironically, this turned out to be the best sandwich of the day, and it wasn't even a cheese steak.

We then proceeded to walk. And walk. And walk. We went through Kevin's old med school area, and then through what's known at the Italian Market area. We stopped in a cheese place and a spice place, and eventually:



Yes, those fatbirds were on sale for meat. Yum, fatbird!

Though Kevin said it was a 20 minute walk, I believe it took us about an hour to get to cheese steak central. There, we had a choice of Pat's or Geno's. Kevin said Pat's was the first, and that Geno's was the upstart pretender with an additional dash of racism. Apparently some years back, the proprietor of Geno's made ordering in English a requirement for getting a steak sandwich. This really didn't seem like an unreasonable request if your staff only spoke English, but apparently they made a big deal out of "Spanish language speakers, go home!" with stickers and articles in the paper, and such.

Whatever, I'm here for the food. So off to Pat's:



You'll note the line (or maybe you won't, it's a shitty picture). Both places had lines, and only outdoor seating, and it was December 28th and pretty darn cold. This does not dissuade people from eating their cheese steaks.

I made some mistakes at Pat's. First off, they had a condiment counter, and I went for it. They had a red sauce, which I slathered on my steak, and cherry peppers, which I took one of, and even relish. So my Pat's steak was adulterated with all sorts of other things going on. My wife refused to eat my spicy monstrosity, so shared a sandwich with Kevin, while Rob and I both went for the spice.

Also, whoever says that cheese whiz is the only way to have a cheese steak is just plain wrong. Provolone was had on all sandwiches, all day. Shove your cheese whiz up your Kraft ass. Man was making cheese steaks back in ancient Rome with provolone.

The spice went to my head, and I forgot to take a picture of the sandwich here.

At this point I was pretty full, and if anyone had said, "Eh, let's skip Geno's, I don't need that racist cheese steak," I'd have been fine. But Kevin was adamant. To truly have the cheese steak death march, we had to go to Geno's.

So across the street to Geno's we went:



You'll notice that Geno's is definitely flashier than Pat's. Pat's does have signs up everywhere saying, "Don't make a mis-steak! Get the original Philly cheese steak at Pat's." So I guess there's plenty of anti-Geno's feelings at Pat's.

Again we got two sandwiches to share between the four of us. Kevin pontificates on the Geno's sandwich experience:



I could swear that the Geno's steak was only a step above steak-ums in terms of meat, but we all agreed that their bread was better than Pat's.

We started to walk back to Reading Market, but I pointed out (astutely! And with much laziness in my heart.) that if we walked, continuing the death march with extra pounds of meat, bread, and cheese in us, that we wouldn't make it back in time to buy Amish products. So we took a cab.

Back in Reading Market Kevin pointed out this Amish place that served apple cobblers. So we each got one of those and they bring out a pitcher of heavy cream to pour over it, resulting in this:



Oh my god, that was awesome. I got spiced apple rings, and then we all went home and fell into a meat coma.

So we all agreed that the best cheese steak in Philly is a pork sandwich from DiNic's.

I went to a convention in Philadelphia in 2011. The convention center is right near Reading Market, so we went there a couple times. Very cool, also had an excellent sandwich at the place in the market (DiNics?) The most fun I had at the convention was the last night, when one of our vendors actually rented out the market for a party (closed to the public, tons of free food and open bar (!), dance floor, etc.). Plenty of librarian grumbling about how we would rather have lower prices than a fancy party, but everyone had a good time and lots of food/drink anyway :p

I liked Dean's post in general and specifically for using the phrase 'shove your cheese whiz up your Kraft ass'. That's what you call your turn of phrase.

That's called two years of fancy writer's school. My professors would be so proud.

I love the roast pork from Tommy DiNic's. Its excellent; the broccoli rabe sets off the sharp provolone so well.

It was featured on Adam Richman's Best Sandwich In America against Primanti Brothers and a sandwich from the legendary Katz's Deli in NYC. It not only beat those...it ended up winning the whole contest.

One place you missed for cheesesteaks is Jim's...but on the whole, I'd eat a roast pork from DiNic's or Tony Luke's over a cheesesteak any day. Cheesesteaks are IMHO way overrated.

The thing with cheesesteaks, I think, is that if you are not in an area where you can take them for granted, is you start to really miss them. Because many states do not quite get the cheesesteak thing.

I've got to say that neither Pat's nor Geno's can hold a candle to Carl's which is in Waltham, MA and which I've been going to since 1987. In fact, they know my order there (steak and cheese, onions and sausage) that recently when I started getting a Mistake (Steak, Sausage, Pepperoni, Mushrooms, Onions, Teriyaki Sauce, Cheese) they expressed surprise.

We are going there on Saturday to continue the death march.

Oh man now I have so many more things to do when I go to Philly in two weeks! SPICED APPLE RINGS GET INSIDE ME.

Bah, the best cheesesteak is one that also adds chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, french fries, and marinara sauce, a.k.a., the Fat Knight (it was known as the Fat Night went I went to Rutgers). Also, looking at that menu, I wish they had the Fat Kushion when I went there. That sounds awesome.

Guys
GUYS

I had chicken and waffles last night covered in maple syrup.

It was glorious.

Damn kids, when I went there the only Fat sandwich was the Fat Cat and it was good enough!

Speaking of sandwich monstrosities, over the weekend we went out for lunch and my brother ordered a Breakfast Burger from this sandwich place outside Detroit. Said burger includes a fried egg, bacon, a slice of ham, and sausage in addition to other burger fixings.

Yep, three different kinds of pork for a total of four different meats - and an egg - between two buns. I still don't know if that's disturbing or awesome, but I think it might be both.

Pretty clearly in the awesome column. I don't see anything disturbing about that.

I dunno, man. I'm a pretty big proponent of meat in various forms, but a eating a burger with ham, bacon, and sausage is playing a dangerous game.

FTFY.

I still have yet to visit the grease trucks. I think I'll probably wait til I'm ready to graduate, I think eating there once is about all I can handle. :)

Is it weird that I am salivating and having chest pains at the same time?

Nope, that was pretty much exactly my reaction.

If I was ever "Fuck You" wealthy, I think I'd commission my personal chef to create something called "The Noah's Ark" - an entree incorporating two of every animal. Perhaps a burger version, as well.

Dean -- I go to the Reading Terminal about once a week and a DiNic pork sandwich is about the second best thing there (the best is an Amish boneless rib sandwich). Great choice (but of course, I don't adulterate it with cheese and greens).

But Geno's and Pat's aren't even worth it for the tourist experience. There is many a fine steak sandwich to be had, but not from those ripoff joints. The meat is worse than Steak-umms, because Steak-umms aren't shot through with unpalatable gristle.

Ten years of legal hassle about my driver's license has FINALLY come to an end.

The story: Back in October 2002, I got in a minor accident outside my apartment in Virginia. At the time I was driving without insurance (totally guilty, no excuses) and the state of Virginia suspended my driver's license, and to reinstate it I had to pay a reinstatement fee and maintain proof of insurance for the next three years. I got it reinstated and in 2004 moved to Kansas. In the process of the move, I kept up my insurance, bought a new vehicle, and got a Kansas license. All was well and good.

Except in mid-2005, my car went kaput and in the month I was without a vehicle, I let my insurance coverage lapse. BZZT. Virginia said at that point "You had a lapse, you're re-suspended. Pay another reinstatement fee and you need ANOTHER three years of proof of insurance". Okay, fine.

Then in 2007 I started having cluster headaches to the point where I wasn't comfortable driving. Sold my car, but kept up a non-owner's insurance policy to keep Virginia happy. In December 2007, I moved across the border into Missouri.

Where my insurance policy was cancelled because the agency's offices in Missouri didn't offer that kind of policy. I found this out when I tried to switch my KS license for a MO license and got told "Uh, Virginia is telling us we can't do that."

But since I got to physically keep my Kansas license which was valid through January 2013, I figured "I'm not driving, screw you guys, I'll figure this out sometime in the next five years or so."

A few weeks ago I realized "Holy cats, I'm about to have my main form of legal identification expire. All right, get a new insurance policy, then contact the Virginia DMV and see exactly what they want..."

Policy set up, I call them this morning and get told "Uh, we don't show any hold or suspension on your license. In fact, we show that you have a currently-valid driver's license in the state of Kansas."

"No, no, I have an email here dated September 2012 from you saying my license is suspended."

"Oh, I see that we did have it suspended. That suspension ended on October 15, 2012. Your original infraction was on October 14, 2002 and the suspended license was for ten years. As far as we're concerned, you're free and clear."

I call the Missouri DMV *just* to double-check.

"Yeah, we can run your Kansas license... looks valid to us, no infractions, nothing on your driving record. Just stop by and bring proof of ID and address, we'll get you set up with a six-year Missouri license."


Finally, bureaucracy works in my favor! Who's got two thumbs and can now (legally) menace the roadways again? THIS GUY.

I'm not sure suffering through the full length of the suspension is really bureaucracy working in your favour considering the absurd requirement of keeping insurance when you didn't even have a car forced you back into the suspension on two separate occasions. Whatever though I'm glad you're out of that stupidity and can drive again, also glad that you don't live anywhere near me at the moment.

I never questioned the bureaucracy of it all - there were rules, I didn't follow them, the inconvenience was totally legit. I'd just been operating under the misconception that the suspension was in perpetuity until I fulfilled the original conditions set out by the court.

And for the record, I am an amazing driver. I just haven't needed a car for the last five years or so living in the city. I am tempted to pick up a scooter or something to get around.



Or possibly to mount a 75mm recoilless rifle on in case of traffic.

Said by every horrible driver ever.

Sure, it just seems odd to require someone keep insurance when they don't have a car simply to satisfy some silly suspension requirement. Considering the law was that you must have insurance keeping it isn't really much of a requirement other than to punish someone who decides to get rid of their car but wants to maintain their license for ID purposes and to drive in the future. Effectively the punishment is the reinstatement fee and being forced to have insurance for 3 years whether you need it or not. Why not just make it a fine and be done with it, stupid state licensing laws!

You can get a state non-driving ID. It's a thing.

Right - the thing is, a lot of businesses don't actually know that's a legitimate form of identification. I've had friends with state identification cards get them confiscated by bars as "obviously fake IDs" and going through the whole hassle of having to get the cops there to explain no, that's a real form of ID, why did you cause all this trouble and don't you have a driver's license what's wrong with you?

Also the pain of getting a driver's license again should you need it. Keeping it current is much easier than going a few years without then getting into a situation where you need to drive again.

I recently renewed my driver's license myself, after going several years without one because I'd lost it and I wasn't driving anyway and I had other forms of ID. I actually reported the license missing a couple of years ago, as one's supposed to do, but let the temporary permit I got lapse since, again, I don't have a car and don't drive any anyway. The temporary permit had been lying on my desk for a while, taunting me with its presence, so I decided to just go and get a new license, because you never know when it might come in handy. So just before Christmas I went to our version of the DMV, expecting reams and reams of red tape, a bureaucracy that'd take months to get back to me because I hadn't immediately gone to get it renewed, and... found myself talking with a very nice lady who told me it'd be no problem, just sit in this booth and get your picture taken, and it might take a few days after new year's to get your new license because of Christmas, and have a good holiday. And then I got the license in the mail on the 28th. It was kind of startling how quick and painless it all was.
(That whole story was the very epitome of a pointless boring anecdote, wasn't it.)

I'm not looking forward to renewing my license since they're going to force me to take a picture this time and my old picture is SO GOOD! Like, everyone who ever cards me comments on it. And I know that will never happen again D:

I'm willing to bet it won't look anywhere near this bad:

I am physically unable to look natural in photos.

Are you tripping or am I tripping? Wut's going on, maan!?!

You look like a 19th century photo -- the early ones, where subjects had to sit still for a full two minutes. It's actually kind of cool.

My father at one point forgot to renew his license, he continued to drive for years not realizing this. I don't remember how but he ended up becoming aware of the situation and went to renew it. He had to book an appointment which wasn't for several weeks and do the road test. Different jurisdictions have different processes for handling this sort of thing.

There is nothing wrong with this picture and I'd be damned happy if I looked that good. I look like a damn terrorist in mine.

Depends on the State, I guess. Maryland's IDs are badass and the non-driving variants are exactly the same as the driving ones, just with a "not valid for driving" line somewhere on 'em. I never had a problem.

Take tip from Penn & Teller. Get a foam clown nose, cut off a tiny chunk, and affix it to your ID with a little rubber cement. Doesn't matter how bad your picture is, now it's hilarious.

I was just eating leftover meatballs my dad sent me home with. I started chewing one and it crunched. I figured he'd burned it a little when browning it. I spit out the crunchy part.

It was a nice, big waterbug.

I feel nauseous.