Has anything of interest happened to you recently?

Seconded! and glad to hear it's still there.

You're local? :D And, yep, they're in something like their thirty-eighth year and still going strong. The band is enjoying a resurgence in membership lately.

Dude. BROKEN FORUM CEILI MEETUP. <schemes>

Well, shit. My condolences and hopes that you find something else soon.

I went to college and law school in Berkeley & enjoyed the occasional visit to the Starry Plough. I'm now an hour and a half drive away and too old and boring to go to clubs/bars anyway! If I am remembering my youth right, we saw Cake there before they were "famous." I don't know much about the ceili thing.

You're never too old to go watch cute people do Irish dancing. I would go myself if I was out there.

I mentioned how I've gotten a couple guest spots at comedy clubs recently. Well, I just noticed today that the show I'm on this Saturday is going to be headlined by Jon fucking Dore. And it's part of the Vancouver Comedy Festival, which means that I am part of the Vancouver Comedy Festival. Holy fucking shit.

The booker mentioned none of that when he offered me the spot. And here I was excited merely to be doing a second guest spot after less than a month.

that's very cool, exciting!

Nice, Yuk Yuks. I am going to be at a bunch of casinos this weeked. I never know when comedy festivals are until about a week after they close their submission period. I wouldn't submit to them anyway, because I am a gigantic cheapskate and can't afford to take off work for an entire week and pay for my own hotel and food. But it's nice to have the option. It's even nicer to weasel into them without having to pay money or send someone a tape.

I learned that a single, three unit college class is going to cost me $138.
I was gonna shoot for two classes, but after seeing that number? Nooo way.

That's pretty damn cheap. That was what I was paying a day, I figured out, in undergrad. I think I missed 4 days of class, maybe 5, total. That number really clarified the cost for me.

What is cheap to some is not so cheap to others~ C:

A bunch of casinos in one weekend? Is that normal? Yuk's is actually kind of the redheaded stepchild here, the big club in Vancouver is the old Yuk's, which went independent a few years back and is now The Comedy Mix. They opened a new Yuk's less than a year ago. I have yet to get a guest spot at the Mix.

I, obviously, don't know when the submission period ended because I only figured out that the festival was happening today. And I wouldn't submit anyway, until I'm at a level where I felt like the exposure could actually lead to something that would justify the expense. But it's for damn sure going on my bio.

Comedy gets done a lot of places besides comedy clubs. Once you get in with a booking agency, you may find that they have a run of one nighters, so Wednesday at one casino, Thursday at the next, Friday off because apparently Kool and The Gang is still together, Saturday at a bigger casino, Sunday show at a casino in the middle of goddamn nowhere.

It's a good time, casinos that book entertainment have alright hotel rooms and buffets and whatnot, so while you won't get free drinks, you also won't have to stay at a scary condo the club rents out because it's cheaper than booking the feature and the headliner in separate rooms three nights a week, which comes out to 12 hotel overnights per month.

Just wait until you get good enough to do a run of bar shows. Each a one nighter at least five hours drive from the last, where you go from leper to rockstar and back five times in one week. We call it, "The Trenches." One time a fellow comedian and I woke up and found a chocolate vagina in the back seat of our car. Gift wrapped, in a tasteful box. No explanation. That was the same night some bikers drank my spit.

Laser safety is so fucking important, and so ignored by jackasses.

Today I was in municipal court, which is actually just a settlement conference with a bunch of City Attorneys sitting in different corners trying to settle bullshit and not so bullshit tickets because they don't actually have the resources to take them all to trial. My phone goes off, court is not actually in session, and it's municipal court. I look at the number, it's a prefix that indicates it is either an elected official, meaning judge, district attorney, state representative, or their staff. Basically, a call you don't miss. I answer it, and I am standing up to leave so I can have privacy. The municipal court settlement conference bailiff starts bolting towards me, with his hand on his firearm, still holstered, but still. He shouts, "hang that up!"

I just look at him for a second, look down at his hand on his fucking gun and back on up to the face of the man who seemed prepared to draw down on me and go, "No. The real court is calling me. I'll be right back."

As I walked and talked, I looked back and nodded at his sidearm again and gave him a thumbs up partnered with that face you make to let people know to take that thumbs up you just gave them and shove it. Now, I know that taking phone calls in the presence of a public servant is considered taboo, but I also know when actual business is being transacted and when it is not. Nevertheless, had he not gone Defcon 1, as I slid out of the courtroom, I probably would have given the officer a shrugnod with the classic double spokesmodel fan wave while mouthing, "sorry." Situation did not go that way, and Officer Tackleberry did not get the hollow gesture to which he otherwise may have been entitled. Now he has to finish the day without whatever small physiological benefit that minor amount of stress reduction affords.

I don't know if it's the weather or the fact I seem to have run out of fucks, but I've been having some pretty good showdowns lately. I overheard a guy trying to rope another person into a pyramid scheme when I was in McDonald's a couple weeks ago, and I browbeat him for ten minutes while all the other patrons looked on. That was probably the most fun I had the entire week. What could I do, though, listening to him try and commit a felony was ruining my dinner, and really, when you're talking about McDonald's, that ain't exactly a thick margin separating passable flavor from the soul destroying realization that comes from taking true notice of one's surroundings.

I missed a good chance for a confrontation yesterday, when a woman at the discount hair salon which I frequent called for the head of John the Baptist on account of one of the stylists called in sick and the skeleton crew which remained had to push her dye job back fifteen minutes. I feel bad not sticking up for the stylist, maybe pointing out that the angry woman will no doubt derive more enjoyment from this story wherein she was disrespected than from any potential successful cut and color which may have otherwise occurred. Or stressing the point that an angry stylist is possessed of all the tools needed to commit the perfect crime. Against fashion, I didn't even point out that it's going to take longer to storm out the door and reschedule than it would to wait, and if she played her cards like not such an asshole, there could have been a discount coming down the pipe.

I'm not saying my school was a good price: I think I overpaid by FAR.
But college is really pricey, to the point where $138 is cheap.

The real question: is college worth its cost?

Sometimes. You might not live to retirement age, so some people decide to take their pills, boring music, ill-formed opinions, and retro-clothing up front.

Ah, ok. I don't really think of Wednesday and Thursday as being part of the weekend. Or Sunday either, for that matter. But I still have a 9-5 mentality.

I was picturing you driving from casino to casino doing multiple spots in one night like a New York comic, except with way longer distances.

I recently found out that the other professor in my department will only be there half time from now on, which makes me pretty much the sole philosophy guy for the school. Since I am not getting any more help, that means more work without a subsequent raise. On the bright side, I go up for tenure in the Fall, and I'm thinking I have pretty good job security at this point.

It's not like I won't have any backup, either. I still have some help, and my boss (so to speak) is looking into ways to make it easier on me. So they realize the pressure this will put on me and are doing what they can.

Does this mean you have lots of feels?

BLARGH. I have yet another stye brewing. I didn't used to get these. I think they are somewhat stress based, but now I'm also running through all the things that I stopped doing about the time I started to get them.

I think it could be one of two things now:
1) Our plastic showerhead, I've read that they can get higher levels of bacteria, and we've been bringing with us from place to place to place.
2) No longer showering twice a day. I used to shower in the morning, and then again after MT practice.

On the plus side, once you have tenure the pay goes up or stays the same and the work can drop significantly if you like.



credit: (http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2874)

Spent my Wednesday night here:

So in other words, definitely shower-related.

I replaced our shower head with one of those low-flow kind on a stick (you know, the kind you can take off the wall and spray around with) and it was really easy. No special tools or anything.

I had a really bad one in 2008 that eventually presented and burst. It was awesome (by that, I mean not awesome) because all the eyelashes on my lower eyelid fell out.
I got another one in 2012, and it's still sort of lingering although not really noticeable. Then, later in 2012, I got ANOTHER ONE, except on the upper eyelid (luckily, this one got reabsorbed fairly quickly and is gone). It's always my right eye, too, for some reason. Given that I''ve lived in 5 different places since '08 (and therefore 5 different shower heads), shower once a day in the morning, and keep a high level of hygiene, I really don't know what causes them. I never got one before 2008, either. All of my ophthalmologists have been baffled. Le sigh.

It's da videogames! Yeah, they suck, the Chalazions are the worst (basically a stye, but the clog is much deeper under neath the eyelid, so the whole eyelid swells up, so in some ways I am grateful these are just styes this time. I get them in both eyes.

Hmm, that might rule out the showerhead, we've had the same one, as I've been taking it from place to place, ever since we bought it.

Can't you just shoot them off with your green eye-lasers?

I typed "epic" into Youtube and got as the first hit "5-Hour | Epic Music Mega Mix". It delivers. Just the thing for always and ever.

My mother paid me for the work that I did! A solid $100.
For five days of work. So that's $20/day. Which is $3.something/hr.
well okay.

Things I am not spending this money on: everything.

Your first hit was my 18th. I got this as my first hit:



And this my second: The Faith No More song . I edited it out since that video didn't allow embedding.

**removed video**

My habit of youtubing E. S. Posthumus videos has clearly trained Youtube well.

Seriously though. Two Steps From Hell kinda blew my mind.

Pink Eye I know they can treat. Sandwich Sauron Green Eye is most likely a medical mystery.

Or maybe you can pull a Superman and bounce your eye lasers off of a mirror to heal yourself!

Wait, though. If you bounce your eye lasers back into your eyes, wouldn't that bounce back into the mirror? THE UNIVERSE COULD COLLAPSE YOU MONSTER

I admire your restraint.

Sound like enough for a bus ticket, doesn't it, Speak With Bread?

So it's not technically my birthday yet, but it IS my birthday weekend. I didn't die for another twelve months! Let the celebrations begin!

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson.

My husband's as well! His is tomorrow, and we're starting celebrations tonight when he's done with work.