I am dragging you all down with me - Let's Play kuso-ge

For a kuso-ge this game is delightful and gasp, oh my goodness, its good! Its quite good! Good art and good plot and good spelling and good characters and good grammar!

Now that you've said that, expect everything to go to hell in no time D:

ONLY BAD ENDINGS! :<

Jedi!Vampire

Yeah, like fairies (salt) and japanese demon (beans, I think). I didn't knew about the rivers stuff however, but I still remember how to locate a vampire coffin (what? you never know!).

Yes. Yes I know that I fell into the trope Tempting Fate. Forgive me everyone.

Another variation of the rice throwing is dumping a pile of poppy seeds just outside a vampire's resting place, so that they will spend all night counting them.

Or leaving a net in their grave so they have to undo every knot.

In short... vampires are OCD as fuck and there are several different ways to exploit that.

So I ventured outside of the LP subforum for a couple of days to regain my sanity and HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS the world is filled with awesome people. Goooooo lurk/post in the other subforums, people are cool and smart and interesting. So yeah. That’s my advice for the day.



It is ever so hard to maintain such large estates. Helen asks if we’re staying with our family.



She asks which ones are staying with her. You’re getting a little too nosy, miss.

Anyway, basically these people are staying:



Uncle Chaney: The musical weirdo.



Uncles Vincent, Boris and Peter: The scary ones.



Cousins Dorothy, Geraldine and Cornelia: All younger, all obsessed with spiders.





Uhhhhhh yeah. So that’s happening.

After some internal complaining, we finally ask why she’s here.



Couldn’t you have just mailed an invitation or something? That’s so bothersome.



Oh really? Ahaha..ha…ha.

Damn crazy uncles were probably the culprits.



Well…Should we go to the party?

Go to the party!

Definitely go to the party.

House parties pshhh who would want to go to a party when you could stay home and eat junk food all night while ranting at soap opera heroines?
...
Okay, party sounds cool. Woohoo.

Let's go. Bela needs to impress everyone with his pure awesomeness. Get some willing morsels, y'know?

I am certain we are going to the party.

I'm behind in this thread, but you should probably do that thing.

How did I get behind in this thread? I was caught up like.... 2 weeks ago, then suddenly I check back in and BAM ten new pages. Time to go binge on this!

It's BrokenForums. You never catch up until the thread dies.

Why do these choices sound like they're coming out of a teenage girl?

Anyway, go to the party!

Party the night away! The day is young my friend, go forth and seduce some tasty dinner

Go to the party, Bela. No way this can go wrong.

The cousins are Dracula's three brides, weeeee! Browning has such classy framing for his shots.

Venturing outside the LP subforum? You are a brave soul, Umazes.

Go to the party. I sure everything will be fine.

I'm going to start laughing and never stop if the game railroads us into declining her invite.

I’ve been TRYING to be more intellectual and read books, but my brain cells are just dead set on killing themselves. Also maniskumquat keeps distracting me by streaming fun things.

IT’S PARTY TIEM
(and we basically tell her that we'd be delighted to go and yadda yadda yadda will you please just leave now)



And damn, it felt like an hour.

The next night, around 9pm:



Haha yeah, fuck you guys, I’m out.



I’m TRYING to be cool here-



U-Uncle! Don’t-



Are you possibly insinuating-



STOP SAYING-



BYE.



GOODBYE, UNCLES. Always have to embarrass me…

Even our cousins get in a few jabs about getting a girlfriend before we escape.



You and me both.

HELP. HOW DO I PEOPLE AND CONVERSATION??

That guy is Helen’s uncle, Edward van Sloan. He actually owns the estate.



GUYS WE’RE MESSING UP ALREADY

Phew, safe!



Yes, your blaaaaaaaad – I mean, no.
Somebody calls us a ‘handsome friend’ of Helen’s. Do I sense another love interest? Ohohoho~



Ohoho-

Wait.
…
I guess this works, too.

He looks significantly less friendly than he did a second ago.
That guy, as noted above, is David Manners. He’s a total tool.



A total tool who seems to have figured out we’re a vampire in 5 minutes holy shit guys what do we do

Find out on tomorrow's episode of...
Fuck it I'm too lazy to post the entire title of this thread. I need a nickname.

Points for being direct instead of skulking about with crosses and shit.

Tell him that that the socially acceptable modern term is "post-mortem sanguinarian"

Umazes, where can I download this game? Because it's beautiful.

AND OH MY GOD BELA IS RELATED TO VINCENT PRICE-- I. I mean, Uncle Vincent is awesome.

And Daniel, are you romanceable? Because if so, I'm still not doing your route. Lies, he saw right through us, that warrants interest.

You can get it here, I'm interesting in finding out what the stupid ending is.

I'm pretty sure Daniel's just a tool, there's not way he ACTUALLY knows...right?

What do you think we do? We murder him and drink his blood, that's what! Honestly, vampires these days.

Ask him to do the secret vampire handshake. Then if he pulls a fast one and tries to give you the not-so-secret vampire handstake turn into a bat posthaste.

Watch Daniel be all, "cause we never you around during the day! HAR HAR HAR"

... or this entire party was a trap.

WHAT. Vampires? There's no vampires! There were never any vampires! Vampires are just a myth!

I’m still playing the game, I swear! Kind of. A little.

Fortunately, Helen to the rescue!



And now Helen thinks he’s a tool, too. Eliminated the competition. Score!
We’re going to set him straight. Just for the record. Because we’re totally not a vampire or anything.



STOP ASKING FOR TROUBLE



STOP FIGURING OUT THINGS even if we did ask the question this time



STAHHHHHHP