I am dragging you all down with me - Let's Play kuso-ge

Let's hear it for the Rainbow Club
It's been an incredible success
We weren't quite sure
We had a few doubts
Oh will Bela get laid?
And the answer is YES
And NO
And YES
And NO
And yes... and... no.

Meanwhile…



Helen is gossiping about Bela with her…friend? Cousin? Er, with this person named Francis. We discover that she has an almost unhealthy obsession with Dracula. And by almost, I mean very. Very, very unhealthy.



And then Francis opens here window just in case a vampire decides to swoop in for a bite and goes to sleep. Guuuuuurl, you are full of bad ideas, aren't you?

Going back to David and Bela, David says he has something important to tell us about Helen and Ed. Oooh, what could it be? Don’t tell me…they are also vampires!



Or just broke. And Helen is a gold digger. Well, I was expecting something much more shocking.

Then David tells us some stuff we know and blah blah drama and-



Ohoho~

Your 500th terrible game image is an almost-confession.

Bela doesn’t want to hear it, though he is interested in why Edward and David are together if not for love. Apparently Ed is blackmailing David, using things that happened when David and Dwight were together.

I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that David helped bury the bodies or something. Just sayin’.

I am, however, interested in what Ed is REALLY blackmailing David with.



OHOHO~

Ed is killing people that are after Helen. Well, the last one was a guy after Helen. This one was probably me, so I think it’s a trend. Anyway David says he followed Dwight here to…I dunno, save me or something. Pffffft.



Dwight clearly lied to us earlier, but that’s not important anymore. Bela wants to know why Ed wants him dead, but I think it’s pretty clear.




He’s been doing stupid shit like hanging garlic everywhere, too.




Awkward!

Also, the explanation for sending Dwight after Bela even though Dwight is attracted to him; that messed up guy is a necrophiliac, too. Only towards women, though.

We tell David that Dwight is dead, brainwash him a bit, and tell him to go build a new life tomorrow. Then we knock him out, and finally it’s time to take care of business with Edward.

Now I feel bad for David and Helen. This story is getting more complicated by the minute.

I read the whole topic. My brain hurt and this last game makes more sense than it should.

Really.

I discovered I am crashing peoples' browsers. Temporary solution: I am spoilering all the images. More long-term solution: I will look into resizing these images so it's not a problem anymore.

Let me know if this size is better, and I can resize the images for this game:

Bela terrifies Edward a bit and throws out some zingers. I learned that expression yesterday.



Like that.



Unless it was a suicide mission. We continue to terrify him.



Want a copy? Mwohohoho. David and your private investigator Frye told us other interesting things, mwohohohoho.

We use some hypnotism on him to discover that he did all of this because he’s really a gold digger and wanted to make sure we were rich enough for Helen to marry.

Now that we have figured out his plans, Edward pulls out the big guns: A CROSS.
Lololol just kidding, that does nothing! Foolish mortal.

Then we get a super long history lesson on Strigoi from Bela, and find out that we are not actually a vampire…



WE CAUGHT AN INCURABLE STD
BELA, WHAT.

The size is fine for my browser now. I sometimes get minor issues with the images going blank, which can usually be solved by a fresh window. However, it's okay with me now and...

BELA THE HELL?

Works so much better now, thank you! Now I can return to my scheduled WTF.

I have to admit that I did not expect that. What kind of STD gives you mind control powers?

... An STD.

Okay then.

Why did I want to catch up with this thread, again?

Outside of the hilarious commentary and resulting posts, that is.

Also, the images are fine, Umazes!

Well, the original Dracula was used as a metaphor for sex and stuff. So vampirism as an STD wouldn't the weirdest thing done with the mythology.

Unless it is Word of God, in this case, Bram Stoker himself considered that canon, I shall not believe that.

No, it really was. Dracula wasn't particularly described as alluring, but there was something about him that was seductive nonetheless. I'll admit I never finished the book, but from what I managed to read, it basically is just one long trip describing how sex is a terrible, terrible sin but oh so attractive.

Unless you meant the STD thing in which case that's still up in the air.

I see. So not canon but fanon or headcanon. Fair enough.

No, it's canon. There are a lot of studies on the subject and considering this was written during the Victorian era, well.

Unless, again, you mean the STD thing, but considering how turning was considered an illness, I don't think it's that far fetched either.

Well you could it put that way and judge accordingly.

True enough.

But remember, every time someone was bitten, they suddenly got sexy. Which was wrong and scandalous.

A better short look at the subject might be Carmilla in the titular short story, who acts rather... forward... with her female friend. Carmilla was confirmed as one of the main inspirations for Bram Stoker when he wrote Dracula.

New icon?

New icon.

OH GOD Suzurin YOU'RE GONNA DROWN ME IN LIKES

77 alerts in less than an hour.
I can't see if there are any that aren't from Suzurin.

See above rotating chicken gif for response. :D

And I'm not even done yet~~~ <333

Whenever I am like-spammed, I get the urge to pick a random frequent poster who's never set foot in the LP forum and like every single one of his posts for the sole purpose of freaking him out.

I like to think that every time I like a post outside the LP forum the poster is filled with a vague sense of dread. :3

That's not just outside the LP forum.

<3

My exams are over! That means I don't have to study anymore and I have more time to play awful games, yay!

So that we don’t pass on our not-really-vampirism-actually-STD, we “take precautions” like other “responsible adults”.

Bella, you dumb.



At least he sort-of-not-really admitted he’s a vampire.
Blah blah aspects of vampirism.



He only needs a pint every three days, too.
Anyway, the time for chitchat is over. One last question.



He stutters, but finally gives us an answer.




Basically, we out him for all the nasty things he has pulled over the years and lay a vampiric command on him.



Then we knock him out, and fade to black.

FINALLY. Can we please get some action?



Naturally, we sneak in through the window that was left open earlier. Because that’s what all normal dates do. Sneak into the woman’s bedroom at night. Yup.

We come across Francis sleeping in the bed.



And then ve vant to suck her blaaaaad! Do we do it?

Eh, resist. We managed to for years, we can keep going.

Fine. This sucks bad enough without Bela actively sucking and ye Gods this pun is suck on its own as well.

Suck her blood! (I'm guessing it leads to her waking up and stopping us before we can do it, anyway.)

SUCK SUCK SUCK FUCK

Resist. Lets not check out other dates so soon.

Didn't she want us to suck her blood or something? So I say do it!

No, that's Helen. This girl was saying "QURL U CRAY CRAY"

Don't. You don't even know where she's been, would you really put that in your mouth ?

Well, then, do it twice!

Don't do it!