In which Protagonist/Bag is a canon pairing - Let's Play Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal!

I can finally upload tons of images again now Imgur isn't being a bitch anymore, so let's have a go at Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal! I want to continue my Princess Maker 2 and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon 2 as well, but this is just too good an opportunity to pass up.

I used to have an actual bootleg copy of this game for the GBC. It came with 'Pokémon Diamond'. which was actually a bad translation of Telefang, a pretty good game. This was way before the actual Pokémon Diamond and Pearl came out, by the way.



I can promise one thing. This is nothing like the other Pokémon Crystal game in the other LP. It's a badly translated version of the original game, and it is absolutely hilarious. Let's start on this journey!

Note that I won't make this a Nuzlocke Run because all of the attacks have different names. It's difficult.



No new game and options choices. Just START and CHANGE.



Picking the GIR option here! Who doesn't love GIR?





ELF'S WORLD? Wasn't it called Johto?

Oh my god, is this Baro's doing?!



It's...err...1 PM?



...sure, sure!



You bad, bad man! Sleeping mbad late.



I'm not sure I even want to go there after Corna.



...thank you?



Hello, Professor Oak Elf Monster!

i'm sorry but this is just the best thing i have ever seen.
Combined with your new icon, I am compelled to have incredibly strong feelings.

What in the... this is... I cannot... what is... human language?

But I thought they were called Pokémon! What are ELFS, anyway?



So they don't exist anymore? Is this going to be post-apocalptic?



But at night, they fuck like rabbits.



Oh, that's...okay too, I guess.



And I don't understand you.



Inside what? Are Pokémon ELFS piñatas?





ELF MONSTER, my dog's better at English than you are. And she can only bark.



Our name must perfectly capture the loss of innocence our protagonist must experience during her travels. So let's name her...



Excellent.

THIS GAME.

You are now my new idol for LP-ing it, plus for having owned it as well as mentioning Pokemon Jade and Diamond Telefang.
No one believed me when I mentioned that you 'catch' these weird Pokemon things by calling their number.
And there was this incompetant villain in that game who was trying to take over the Electric World to open up a curry restaurant there. Or something along those lines.

LOL... LOLOLOLOLOL I love you forever. Wholesomely. Because that naaaame. xD

I loved Telefang despite its bad translation. The monster designs were pretty cool and much more detailed than Pokémon at the time, and your main partner looked like this:



I was so sad you couldn't save the game.

Really? I remember being able to save and load occasionally on my copy.

Keyword being "Occasionally", as 80% of the time the save file got corrupted and I had to restart over and over and over etc.

It only worked every now and then, sadly. Apparently there's an English patch in the works that fixes everything and translates it better.

Better as in funnier or as in more resembling rational language?

My innocent, pure body is ready, sir!





Here's to our legend, ladies and gentlemen. The legend of Shun in Vietnamese Crystal.



No need to rush me! I just got here! Geez, you overslept and now you're telling me to hurry? Bastard.



I thought it was my job to explore Johto! Or was it ELF'S WORLD?



I am utterly confused.

And so elf was monster and monster was elf.

And sense wept.

The latter. The bootleg translation is pretty weird, what with the villain wanting to start a curry restaurant and all the profanity.

Why does the villain sound like a friend of mine when he's had a touch too much to drink? Oh well, at least that makes him easy to defeat! Just give him a glass of water, a nice fuzzy blanket, and a quiet corner to curl up in. His evil curry plan will be forgotten, though, fair warning, he might eat everything in your fridge.

This is a work of beauty.
Also, I keep reading Shun like the word instead of the name. Like Shun the non-believer! Shun! Shuuuuun!

Like good little kiddies, we start our day by listening to the radio! Unfortunately, it isn't much help, spouting out riddles. Darn!



And his best friend, DJ Acorn!



Let's check our PC next.



What's 'pluged'?



All of them? Wow, you must be pretty rich, Shun!

As we go downstairs, we're stopped by a strange female creature. A being that once was our mother, but now...now she's part of ELF'S WORLD.





Who's Dr. Wu? I only know of Professor Elm, the guy next door. And what does he want me to do? Why are you--



Let me finish my sentence, mom! Why are you--




*just gives up now*



Good for you, mom! Good for you. Now get yourself checked into an institution while I go and save the world, okay?



No, don't give me your presents! Please, mom!





My own mother is spouting foreign words at me. What happened? Everything was normal yesterday...at least, I thought it was normal...and what is an Independ Coach?



Tears welled up in my eyes. My mother just blathered on, ignorant of my sadness.



It was the worst Friday of my life.



Dammit, mom.

what the fuck am I still drunk from yesterday.

I want to be an ELF!

Dibs on "The Adjoining Dr. Wu" as my rap name.
Edit: And here's my first single, a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody (translated by these fine folks)
The Wellness Centre includes a sauna, a steam bath and in real life.
This is just an illusion.
With the exception of Secretary of State Hill
In fact, not prevent it

This is where Pokémon who die on nuzlocke runs end up.

Wait... Elf's World? We have to name one of our grass-type 'mons Legolas. i'm sorry

Yes, mom.

...you're going to explain it anyway, aren't you?



Of course, because this is a Pokémon game. What's the pin of Xiuci, anyway?


MOM: TEL.NO. CAN BE LOG ON AUTOMATICLY IF MAKE CALL.

So...should I select the Arceus or the Mew figure? I'm not sure.



We must go on a journey to find the holy figure!



Indeed, mom.

I leave her be and talk to her...friend? My sister? My mom's lesbian lover? Whoever she is, she greets me with a friendly all-caps "HELLO."



Yes, this terrifying turn of events has affected me.



I do know Miss Shun. In fact, I am her.




Aww, good for her!





I'm sure she loves you deep in her heart, ma'am!

Good. I need coffee. Lots of it. I take a cup with me for the road.



Unfortunately, the only pool we have is a sink.



If only she cared about the English language as much as she cares about her pool.



So...it's an Adept arranging things?



VOLCANO BAKEMEAT!

I want this on a shirt.

Again, who the hell is Wusiji Dr.?




You're either hitting on me or bullying me. Either way, it probably isn't allowed.




Does Pikaqiu evolve from Piqiu, then?





Everyone has a (man)crush on Wusiji in this town. Is the guy that hot?




He found out Pikaqiu is an evolved Pokémon. Is it that much of a discovery?

Let's ask his wife.






Madam, I'm sure your husband is as straight as a rainbow.





Because ELFS are just so much more interesting than Pokémon.





Is there anyone in this town who doesn't want to study ELFS?

I'm delurking to say I love you for doing this LP. This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

Hey, welcome!
Oh Randomletters, you have no idea how happy you make me with this LP.

Thank you so much! This isn't an easy LP to do. The text formatting is so hideous that I have to make ten screenshots for conversations that would normally take just two.

And I'm still not as good as DeliciousCinnamon when it comes to riffing.

Same here. This is just a beautiful clump of horrible translation, and I'm loving it so far.

I think we just found another forum title.

OH MY GOD.

That was me.
Throughout all of this.
...
I MUST BE APART OF THIS.
COULD YOU MAKE ME A POKEMON ELF MONSTER?

Shun is totally drooling all over these profound books, isn't she?

The other lp video has a link to the people actually making volcano bakemeat. It involves lots of hot sauce, and lots of ground beef. I'm not so sure about it.

Hello, sir! I was wondering if you could help me figure out what is going on! Everyone's speaking this strange language, you see, and...



I didn't mean to--



OW!

.

BUT I LOVE YOU. </3
...
WAIT.
CAN I UNOFFICIALLY BE HIS STARTER.
CAUSE THEN MY LOVE COULD BE REAL.

Time to finally meet Professor Elm WUSIJI DR.!






As am I, Wusiji. I still don't get why everyone has a crush on you.




You did? I'm sorry, I couldn't understand a word my mom was saying.




Maybe I should help him. It might help me figure out who I am and where I'm from and the true meaning of this world.

Or something.











Pictured above - no editing at all. That's seriously how it was formatted.

Oh god this is gonna be a complete trainwreck, isn't it?

I want in.

"Of course I'll do it, Wusiji Dr.!"






Always happy to be of service, sir!




But that's kind of obvious, isn't it? Like "If we started a fire and held a bucket of ice above it, the ice would melt!"



I'm not sure the fan wants to be uncovered.

So. I decided to transcribe this bit, and put it through Bad Translator!, to see if I could make this translation any worse. Well, 35 translations between English and several foreign languages later...

Then Wusiji gets an email!





Where's Elf Sugar Daddy?



Considering how strange this world has been so far, that must be something normal!



Are you sure he wasn't just sending you pictures of his genitals?








That has to be the vaguest email I have ever seen in my entire life.