In which we force adorable creatures to fight for our amusement- Let's Play Monster Rancher 2!

My brain is in love with this mental image for reasons I cannot adequately explain.

I feel like the Swoon School of Ranching is probably a required course for monster ranchers. Being nice to your monster actually lowers their effectiveness.

I am trying really hard to get an update done, by the way, but my uploads to Imgur are failing. Time to go look for a replacement until they get their shit together.

I missed the matches after ours due to breaking out in a spontaneous victory dance. Colt managed to snap this picture of the scoreboard before running away in shame.

Don't be afraid, Colt! Let me show you the dance of my people!



This is our next opponent.

We're fucked.



The match started, and in the blink of an eye the Suezo leapt across the field. It smirked at Henry, as if taunting him, before doing something which can only be described as tongue-slapping him.



Apparently the taste of Henry's blubbery flesh didn't sit well with Lontar, and he stumbled back. Henry hurled himself at the Suezo but missed, and received another tongue-lashing for his troubles.



The monsters circled each other warily. Colt had returned at some point, and we clutched each other while sitting on the edges of our seats. It was coming down to the wire!



It was close, but when the buzzer sounded and the dust cleared, one look at Henry's beaten, misshaped body was all the judges needed.



Henry hung his head in shame.

Boy, you better be ashamed. You are going to be in so much trouble when we get you home. Colt is crying!

God dammit.

Colt started crying even harder as she stared at our opponent's stats. I shuddered involuntarily and, with some effort, managed to tear my eyes away.

This is going to be a massacre. Well, it was nice tolerable knowing you, Henry.



Is that dinosaur... laughing at us?

Harikicks, true to his name, had kicked Henry in the face as soon as the match started. As Henry's face attempted to re-shape itself, the wobbling and gyrating of his body sent the dinosaur into uncontrollable hysterics.

I couldn't decide if I was angry or ashamed. Potentially a little of both.



Henry politely waited for Harikicks to recover himself and took a claw to the face for his trouble.



While the dinosaur took a moment to pat himself on the back for his cleverness, Henry landed with a body slam. As he was made of jelly it mostly bounced off, but... he tried?



He tripped! Now's your chance, Henry! Go for the eyes!



YES! A last-minute effort. Will it be enough?



...



And now the stupid dinosaur is laughing at us again.

Go away, Henry. I don't even want to look at you.

Oooh, it's a Zuum! Can we get a Zuum? It'd certainly be a better investment than Henry at this point.

And dear lord, Henry desperately needs more Strength.

I think after this tournament I'll be putting up a vote as to whether or not we should keep Henry. Considering this showing and his general refusal to gain stats, we might be better off generating something else and putting this all behind us.

Unless we get something worse. But that probably won't happen... right?

Well, put me in as a vote for "get rid of Henry," then... poor guy really got screwed by the RNG.

That said... does MR2 have a way to combine monsters? If so, Henry could still be useful as a stat boost, as he does have decent health.

Also, I've been meaning to ask. Are you controlling Henry in these combats, or is it set for AI control?

You can fuse monsters in 2; in fact, it's required to get certain monsters. If we vote to move on from Henry, I'll probably keep him in the freezer for combining fodder.

I usually leave it on AI control since it's easier to take screenshots. If we ever get to the higher-level tournaments, though, I'll definitely use manual. With low loyalty you've got pretty much the same success rate with AI as you do with manual, but later on leaving it on AI is just asking to lose.

Move on. You can lead a horse to water and force it's head under, and it will either drink or drown. Let him go now before we waste valuable fusing material.

I trust your opinion because you too have a classy black-and-white avatar.

Not sure he is worth freezing. I vaguely recall that the stats of combined monsters played some part in the stats of the new creation.

Personally I would just drop him off at the "Meat Market". At least then he would be useful, they have to find that monthly monster meat somewhere..

Oh and I just decided to search out my old PS1 and see if I can get it working with my copy.

He's a human centipede made out of jelly rabbits. Why would anything eat that.

Let's get rid of him. And get our monster from Harvest Moon this time. We'll probably get a living sickle or something, it will be awesome.

Seconding this notion. I liked Henry but he refuses to be useful, also, I love harvest moon. Win-win

No! We have to keep him! If we don't train him with love and patience, how will he fulfil his destiny of murdering us in our sleep becoming a champion monster?

I'm sympathetic to your line of thinking, but at the rate his stat gains are going, it might take a month in real time (well, maybe not, but still) to get him tourney-viable. That's assuming he lives that long.

Thirding this motion, on both statements. Harvest Moon is an awesome series.

This is not a mutually exclusive outcome. After all, should our dear abomination friend be fused with another monster, it'll be safe to assume that there'll at least be some part of Henry in the resulting monster. And considering his demonstrated ability of possessing people...

They do, but more importantly (in my opinion, anyway) is the monster species that composite the breed. The Liquid Cube gives us both Jell and Color Pandora to work with, and it's the Color Pandora part that's screwing us over.

I don't care anymore.



OH, COME ON. That's not fair!

Fine. Whatever. Let Henry Blobber get shredded by the demented penguin-thing, see if I care.

Because I don't.



It went

about as well

as you'd expect.

Henry pulled himself together as best he could, and I grabbed one pulpy segment and hauled him out of the arena. I wasn't going to sit there and take any more of this. I had plans.

I dragged Henry's ass down to the freezing chambers with no time to lose. Colt trailed behind me, begging me to reconsider, but I ignored her.




Sorry, Henry. Maybe when they thaw you out in the future you'll suck less. That's what cryogenic freezing is for, yes?



Something that won't suck. Colt and I found this CD wedged behind some old farming supplies, think you can do anything with it?

The priestess took the disc from my hand and slotted it into the shrine.



As we waited, Colt and I took up a quiet chant. Something good! Something good!



SOMETHING GOOD!



no
no
no
no
no
no
NO!

Luckily, my jolt of horror shocked me out of the drug-induced hallucination I'd slipped into. Let's see our real new monster!



Er... can someone get Mystique a shirt, please?

Our new best friend might be tiny, naked and blue, but she's also frakking amazing. We're absolutely keeping her.

Now taking names, by the way.

I would send you a shirt through the interwebs if I could.

Cheesecake
...
:D.

Her name is either Mystique or Ryoko.

And in case anyone is curious as to why we're raising an Allure...

Seconding Cheesecake.

My choice is totally rational and has nothing to do with the fact that I now suddenly desire sweets.

Is that from the harvest moon cd? Cool.
edit: OH GOD HARVEST MOON WHY.

Nope. The Jell (aka the second coming of Henry Blobber) was from the Harvest Moon disk. Not sure where Tallulah got the Allure from.

Read the spoiler, it explains everything.

Henry! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

In honor of his sacrifice, it is only right that we name his successor Henry II.

Edit: alternatively, HenryCheesecake

Ahh. I did read the spoiler, but you must have added that in afterwards.

Also, while I forgot the name of that Allure, I immediately recognized it as a Pixie - Naga hybrid, despite not playing any Monsster Rancher game in years. Should I be worried?

Of course not, you should be proud of your monster ranching prowess.

I am okay with this. Switchin' my vote for this. Though realistically you'll probably end up with something along the lines of HenryChezCak or something thanks to wordlimit

The best I can do is HenryChzcake, but it looks... odd. And not for the obvious reason, either.

How about Steve?

H. Chesecake perhaps?

Hmm... Henrietta? Partially because it links back to Henry Blobber, and partially because I love the idea of an Allure having such a prim and proper sounding name.

Alright, it's looking like Henrietta or Cheesecake are the best options. Any last input so we can get this show on the road?

Henrietta