Last night I dreamed...

Oh, Christ. Seems to be the week for nightmares.

When I was 16-20, I had an extremely abusive boyfriend. I mean, like, the kind they make Lifetime Channel movies about. The kind that leaves the victim still dealing with PTSD 15 years later. This morning I had a dream I haven't had in a while -- that he forced me to move back in with him. It was really, really horrible. I started crying when I woke up. Great way to start the day, eh?

I used to have dreams like that. But then I took an arrow to the ow ow ow stop it okay bad joke jeez...

It was just like that!

Last night I had a dream about Linear Algebra. Specifically it was about the relationship between vector subspaces and the various R spaces. It turns out that what my dream was getting it is actually an important and useful theorem!

That shit be cray.

I had some weird disconnected series of backstabbing dreams that involved my unintentionally provoking a fight between Kat and AaronSofaer.

So, uh, sorry? :/

I dreamt I was out skiing(slalom type) with a bunch of others, we'd all gone together in a big bus. It was nearing closing time, but I was assured by the driver I'd have time for another trip up and down before they went, so I went up... and when I came down, the bus had left, taking my backpack with all my money, my shoes, my non-skiing clothes and everything. For some reason my sister came by and I asked if I could get a lift from her, to which she laughed in my face and sped off. I was left looking forward to a full day's walk back to the cabin we'd taken the bus from, wearing slalom boots and carrying a pair of skis and staves. I'm, weirdly, still feeling grumpy from that one.

That's a like of sympathy.

I had a dream that I was back in high school, only all the buildings were four to five stories tall with columns and balconies and parapets and no direct paths between them so you had to parkour your ass between classes. And I was very proud that I started my day with French class at the top of the biggest tower and all my classes were of progressingly lower altitude so I could basically just fall (aka "fat kid parkour") my way from class to class.

No more playing Dishonored before bed, dammit.

Last night I dreamed I was parkouring Nute's ass.

That is so sweet. Thank you!

I confess I usually think it's silly to share whatever dreams we've had because honestly who cares. But whatever if you dig it that's cool.

But in a bizarre turn of events, last night I dreamt that I was in California and for some strange reason I met Elyscape at his place of employment. (I don't even know if he IS employed.) I don't remember much about it except he worked in a zany place where people sat on couches and watched TV and stuff. We hung out a bit and made jokes. I don't know why Elyscape of all people. I don't know why I'm dreaming about any of you, frankly. It's not like I was idly ruminating about BF while laying in bed before sleep - so in the future please stay the hell out of my head from now on k?

Silly, he works for Lum!

I like hearing weird or creepy dreams because you get some primo weirdness in random dreams.

I have two weird half-remembered dream fragments that didn't include me at all, but were kind of like watching movies. One was a bunch of pirates from the jungle were attacking a walled-in small village, and they had figured out the right angles to fire their cannon almost straight up into the air and have the cannonballs arc down and land inside the walls. So they blew up some of the village and took the gates, but then it turned out that there was almost no one left inside because of a strange possibly supernatural sickness which the pirates started catching and spreading as they moved on.

The other was about some guy trying to get a woman he was dating to go on a cruise with him, but she didn't want to because she was afraid of the ocean. It turned out that she didn't want to go out on the water because she had some sort of creepy "imaginary" friend when she was younger that other people didn't know about but was actually some kind of Lovecraftian deep one type of thing. She had broken up with it/him and it had gone back under the ocean and I saw a short movie-like aside shot of it catching and eating a fish underwater: sort of human but with skin the color of pale dead fish belly that looked almost more like a mask, with pure black pits for eyes, creepy pointed teeth, tentacle-y fingers, and possibly some sort of coral growing out of its back. The guy convinced his girlfriend to think about it and they went their different ways. The dream followed the guy getting into an elevator and going up, and inside the elevator his own creepy friend appeared: it was humanoid but a kind of swirling indistinct cloudy mass that you couldn't focus directly on, but it did have pure black eyes similar to the woman's friend. They chatted a bit before the elevator got to the man's floor and the door opened to a lobby with people in it and the creepy friend thing had mysteriously disappeared again as the dream ended.

This would make an AMAZING short story.

I have a couple weird recurring dreams that are not really individual dreams, just things that happen in various dreams a lot. First, in a lot of my dreams I have extremely heavy or nonfunctional legs, so that I have to walk really slowly with a lot of effort and use handrails to pull myself along. This isn't the point of the dream, mind you, it's just something going on while the dream is happening. The other is that I am driving from the back seat of my car and angled to the side, so I really am not watching the road at all. As I'm doing this I'm fully aware that it's a ridiculous way to drive and very dangerous, but it's just how I drive.

Both of these are so weirdly pervasive and vivid that I find myself expecting them to happen while I'm awake, and getting odd deja-vu flashes of them at times--like if I am walking upstairs and my legs are tired I think, oh here we go with the heavy legs, or when I'm driving and I think, good thing I'm in the front seat this time.... I suppose this is a sign of some deep-seated neurosis or something.

Also I smoke in my dreams a lot, again not as the point of the dream, just as part of what's going on. I've never taken a single puff of a cigarette in my life. And there are several locations I dream about a lot, that don't actually exist, but they are recurring in my dreams... A terraced back yard and a large office building complex.

So I had a weird dream last night about my nemesis, Guy Fieddi (look, asshole, your last name is spelled with an R. Stop pronouncing it like it has a D in it, you incredible douchemongler) - apparently not content with shilling his shitty recipes all over the Food Network, he had a new show to try and exploit middle-aged housewives - Guy Fieri's Best Day Ever - where he'd come over to their house with a camera crew, read chapters out of Fifty Shades of Grey, watch The View with them, and then cook his thinly-disguised-excuse-for-Applebees meals while wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head like he's some weird species of moth trying to ward off a predator.

This, I said, will not stand. So I got my own TV show on the Food Network - The Most Dangerous Chef - where the entire premise was cooking decent meals while on the move trying to hunt down Guy Fieri and make him pay for his crimes against cuisine and decency.

So I tracked him down in his lair, which I believe was Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabo cantina, and then he unveiled his dreadful final form, which looked like a douchebaggier version of Seymour Guado from Final Fantasy X.

Unfortunately, my alarm went off before I could cast Zombie+FullHeal on him for the instant win. Dammit, alarm.

... and a little tear of happiness slides down SwitchKnitter's cheek...

I had a really weird dream in which I was watching a woman who was in an abandoned town. She had some kind of mask over her head because she'd had a disfiguring disease when she was younger. She was trying to figure out why everyone had abandoned the town and left her behind, and she was even talking to the ghosts of some of the former residents (not that they were helpful or anything). In the end it turned out she was dead, though I don't think the reason why the town was abandoned was ever explained. It's not often I have dreams that play out like I was watching a movie, though

I dreamed that it was Valentine's Day and all of my friends ditched me. This group of Korean dudes came over and were like "We'll hang out with you, I guess...you're not thaaaaat fat."
I then proceeded to jump into a limo that was supposed to be like a shuttle to a gay bar called Rainbow, but instead of taking me there, me and the driver just kinda cruised around town. Got margaritas and pizza. It was the best Valentine's Day ever.

oh. i also went to a ralph's and they didn't have a bakery section and i lost my goddamn mind.

This thread is like a treasure trove of ideas for horror short stories.

No kidding. Guy Fieddi is creepy.

Ooh la la

ok, maybe just "ooh" and not so much "la la"

Something about magic.
And this guy broke into the regular school and was shooting people, so I conjured a sniper gun. And shot him in the head. And myself and a few friends were sneaking over to this port-a-potty that was actually an entrance into the secret magical school. But the guy got back up and every time I tried to shoot him, the bullets bounced off (I later learned this was because he was from the "shark magical school"), so he shot me in the leg, BUT I GOT AWAY WITH MY FRIENDS AND WAS A HERO.

and then i woke up and had another dream where i was transferred to a STRICTLY RELIGIOUS SCHOOL (you can't say the word penis there, so i was already fucked) because it had a section for "god's special angels", which was basically a division for people with mental illnesses. in the middle of the first day, i met this dude that was working there. He was worried because his little sister was going to get a surgery. So I gave him a hug and was like "hey guy, don't worry about it". Later, ran into him waiting for the phone to ring. When it did, I answered it because he told me to; put it on speaker, and the lady was like "she made it out just fine, great success" and we hugged and danced and all of that. Even MORE later, ran into him and he was like hitting on me and i was nervously giggling and SUDDENLY BAM HE IS MAKING OUT WITH ME AND I AM LIKE WAIT WHAT NO NOPE so i went into my bedroom and searched for my classroom schedule for the day.
it was on purple paper.
i knew my next class was afternoon swimming lessons, but i just wanted to make sure.
couldn't find it.
was freaking out. Started to breathe unevenly. Next door, a girl was being interviewed to see just how "religious" she was. She said that her idol wasn't Jesus, but Mario. stupid dip.

I think I read somewhere that most of the dreams you have are nightmares, anyway.

I remember reading something similar where according to brainscans in sleep tests or such the transition from being awake to falling asleep produces a state of abject terror.

I saw that episode of TNG, too!

last night i dreamed i got drunk
because i couldn't get drunk in real life

oh dreams, you're so good to me.

I actually remember having three dreams in a row last night. The last one was creepy but the least interesting and unrelated to the other two so I'll put it first: I was sitting down in the middle of my living room and saw a giant spider crawling across the ceiling. It was tarantula-sized but a gross looking house spider, not actually a tarantula. I jumped up and grabbed a shoe, smashing it as hard as I could leaving a big splatter. For a second I was all happy it was dead, then I noticed there were two others, one that was twice as big. I ran off and grabbed a long handled plunger and charged in to crush the horrible things with extreme prejudice. Then I saw that there were giant egg sacs in the corner, so I started crushing them and big blobs of colored paint came oozing out down the walls.

The first dream I sadly remember the least about, but it was a world that was maybe not Earth where humans were fighting robot soldiers. It was kind of Terminator-esque, but instead of just being skeletal terminators or big mech things the robots looked like terminators in ornate powered armor. They weren't entirely science-based because they were covered in runes that looked like they were acid-etched and pitted into the armor, skulls, and even under the armor on the mechanical skeleton. These runes glowed the color of flaming embers and the light came through as though the deepest parts of the etching had eaten through a wall containing it, they were also what actually powered the robots. I don't think they used guns, but I can't remember what their weapons were. Most of the robots were these armored humanoids, but they also had smaller dog-sized things resembling anvils that were either on treads or floating and also covered in runes. The sunlight seemed weaker than it is here and the landscape had a worn-down, dusty look which combined were what made me suspect that it was not Earth. Sadly I can't remember any details of the war or who was winning or what the fight was over.

My next dream was based on that previous one's setting. Three people, a man and woman in their 20's or 30's and an older man who was the woman's father, were checking a small roofless ruin of a building. At least one, maybe all of them, were military, but I don't remember their mission there. Looking into one room they thought they saw one of the anvil-like robots sitting in the corner, but as the disembodied viewer I could see that it was actually another human sitting there disguising himself with psychic powers because he was wounded somehow. The guy who was obviously a soldier got ready and turned into the room to fire, but the psychic guy used a telepathic suggestion to stop him and the soldier had to spend all his effort on not shooting himself in the head with his own pistol. The woman and her father were more resistant to mind controlling and only slowed down, so the psychic knocked the older man down with telekinesis and physically attacked them. There was a bit of fighting and the older guy wound up dazed and lying on his back trying to hang onto the psychic and get him in a chokehold while the woman struggled with him. Somehow the psychic got a tool off one of the others that was related to their work, something like an exacto knife or small razor blade, and it had turned into him trying to use a combination of telekinesis and suggestion to get the woman to stick it through her own eye while she sat on top of him trying to turn it the other way and use it on him. Then it ended before I got to see who won.

I dreamed I was in charge of managing lands uncovered around Antarctica due to global warming. In dream land this consisted of many small islands. The faceless higher ups that tasked me were very clear I should make the lands useful and more valuable by making them contiguous or I would be IN DEEP TROUBLE. Given I had no budget and a work force of exactly one (me) dream logic dictated I would have to push all the islands together by hand. By which I mean knees. I could only move the islands by wading through the very cold water and pushing them with my knees.

Upon waking, it was clear to me that the dream was influenced by real life work anxiety and arthritis pain.

The pisser was that all weekend long my aching knees kept bringing to mind absurd flashes of straining to push islands with my knees in cold stormy antarctic seas, making my knees feel worse, and creating the stupidest mostly imaginary feedback loop ever.

Short one this time: I was sitting in a fancy waiting room outside a ballroom and everyone was dressed in over the top old French royalty costumes, complete with poofy white wigs. Sitting on the bench opposite me a man was talking to a vampire (both dressed up like everyone else!) trying to convince the vampire to stop obsessing over the woman he was currently fixated on so that the man could date her. Part of his argument was "For every perfect match there is also a less good one," and clearly the vampire could find a better one. As evidence he pointed out that the vampire thought the woman's love of dancing was silly, and she thought his undead stories were silly.

I dreamed that I planted Brussels sprouts and they grew to be the size of basketballs. In the dream this was, for some reason, horrifying. Mutant sprouts!

Duh. Because Brussel Sprouts ARE horrifying. Tiny, green, bitter, bitter horror.

I dreamed that I was nine years old again. Everything was normal until my parents decided to ship me off to Australia alone. My friends followed me there and proceeded to stake out my house with shotguns at the ready, watching my every more, and so I shot them.

Uh, yeah. It was kind of terrifying.

So for some reason I had this weird dream that I was in the Dakar Rally with, of all people, the Bowyers ( Matt Bowyer and Rapunzel, for the record) and instead of a standard rally car, we had the Puma Warthog from Halo. The hilarity of it was that neither of them had an international driver's license so I had to drive (the reason this is funny - despite having an international driver's license and teaching a Combat Driving course in the Army, I don't drive in real life) - and the two of them were married-folks-bickering over who got to operate the machine gun.

How the heck do you all have so many dreams?

I'm still having nightmares about flipping over the Suburban while making right turns. This is starting to impact my driving...especially when I'm doing so within an hour of waking up from said nightmares...

I had a crazy dream that combined aspects of my life from my teens, twenties, and current, plus some space travel.

I was driving around the SF Bay area in the orange VW Squareback I learned to drive in. In the dream, this car was ancient. In fact it was literally falling apart; I also had another car, but for some reason I really wanted to use the squareback. I was visiting a boyfriend from college (he was definitely a college boyfriend in the dream, but it wasn't anyone I actually knew in college). He had a sort of girlfriend but I was still carrying a torch for him and he and a bunch of his friends were doing college kid type things late at night and I really, really, wanted to go, and he wanted me to go too, but it was all awkward b/c everyone knew he had another girl friend. I was a couple years out of college and in some kind of important government position and realized this was a ridiculous situation to be in, but I couldn't help it. Then this guy turned out to have some important information for my job (a physical package of some kind) which I took and had to drive to the UC Berkeley campus, using this falling-apart orange squareback, and worrying the whole time that it would fall apart. When I got to the campus, I headed onto the lower Sproul Plaza area where I was launched into space to deliver the package to another planet. It was a quick trip and I was back in Berkeley very soon, but my squareback had collapsed in the parking lot in the meantime (and also gotten an $800 parking ticket). I got the squareback to a mechanic, but I couldn't get my morphine out of it before he put it into the shop area. So I had to go back and try to sneak it out. I don't think I ever got it before I woke up.