Less of an RPG and more of a dating sim with stabbing in it: Let's Play Loren the Amazon Princess!

I will never get tired of Kiki-dahling's t-shirt collection.

by the way, today was my day off at work, and a rainy day, so I took the opportunity to clear off some endings and side quests..
and believe me, some of them are

Sooooo sad

(yes I even have "sad" and "happy" versions of my avatar, I do rule, doesn't I? :D)

Because it is late, and this seemed amusing I had my go at a very non-canonical portrayal of Amukiki's alternate history, in which his T-Shirt collection is marginally explained.

Someone should make a Loren fanfic thread in the Kawaii Bridge forum, y/y?

A general fanfic thread could be good fun, even.

Cripes has it really been a week since I've updated? Where was I...

Amukiki's now tied with Karen so might as well romance him too! This decision was in no way influenced by the realization that I still have so many stupid shirts I can stick him in. (Thank you, Elfaleon.)

RECAP TIME



In terms of Bonus Shit, I've still got Sauzer to recruit and the spooky castle to explore. Morally speaking, I probably shouldn't lay bare too much of the expansion content given that we're pursuing both Sexy Smurf and Girl Rei. But on the other hand, the castle at least sounds entertaining to play blind. Anyone know what the encounter levels are like in there off-hand? Presumably there is fighting.

Plot-wise, I can either go 'round to the crypts to look for Fost pieces for the elven Elders, or go to Everburn to I dunno, rip out some dragon fangs or whatever convinces generals that demons are bad news. Loren, what do you think about all of these quests?

Why can't this be simple? In the Citadel, everything is simple.

Preach it, sister.

Everything?
You are strong, or you are weak. You either know, or you don't. You are worthy of honor, or you are worthy of death.
You're either a Princess, or a slave...
Perhaps it is not so simple.
So, Elenor. Which task do you think we should finish first?

You get a choice of answers, but no matter which one you pick, Amukiki goes with the opposite of whichever you said. Or rather, whichever one you were about to say, because he has latent psychic powers I guess.

And when did you change your name to Elenor? We should definitely do the other first!
That would be unwise.
I've heard enough. We leave now.

Loren will turn this quest right around, children. Elenor shoots Amukiki the stink-eye as she stalks off after Loren.

some fights yes, but I could quite easily win with everyone in the party around level 12-14 (I played the easy mode, for the first playthroughs, so I don't know for the hard level)
lets say that the castle quest(s) - cause every single being, living or dead, on this land wants you to do/ retrieve something, gives you some more XP, items.. and what I've written earlier under spoiler ;)
perhaps it's more logical for the plot to visit the crypts and to recruit Sauzer first, as the castle is an expansion, not totally necessary but helpful
(I did it when the game told me at the end of chapter 3 to finish the side quests before the chapter 4, and it worked well like this)

I seem to recall the castle fights being pretty difficult. That said, Draco does something awesome there, so that alone might make it worth it.

I'm in!

The fights are difficult, but at least some of them are optional.

You've found my weak point!

That previous conversation has a continuation. HEY. HEY YOU. ASSHOLE.

You were deliberately undermining me!

Amukiki gets very defensive in the body language department.

Can't deny it, can you?



The shifty eyes say otherwise, bub.

You put her in danger.
No, I saved her from it. You were wrong, and you should admit it.

They're both really amplifying the consequences of a choice that was basically, "Which totally necessary dangerous task should we do before the other one?" But that's not really what this argument was ever about.

No, I was not! It didn't matter what I said, you just wanted to be disagreeable.
That is meaningless. You are blind.
Blind?!
You are already set in what you want to believe. You have not appreciated my presence from the beginning. That much is clear.
Good, I didn't know if that was getting across well enough.

Elenor is like half a breath away from whipping out her dagger and shanking him right in the kneecaps.

What now?
We fight?



Do we TAKE HIS SMUG ASS DOWN or stalk off in a huff?

Fight! Let us settle this and prove we're the better man!

Ruin that smug man's Bieber T. RUIN IT.
It's not like we're a healer and he's a highly trained gladiator or anything. No way this could go wrong. None whatsoever.

LAUGHING FOREVER because I see half of the Who Is Talking icons for that as Grumpy Old Man. WRESTLE THE OLD MAN!

Whoops FIXED

...I bet we could take 'im. Lessee him try to hex us in the middle of a suplex.

Fight him. That, or just stop healing him all together. Either way, he needs to learn not to mess with the healer

Fight! I'm sure that's how barbarians show their affection, anyway.

WE FIGHT

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

also i totally bought this game because of your lp. it cost like 15% of my paycheck, but it was worth it. i just wish we could romance Dora. :(

So, that fanfic thread I threatened to make is here.

EVERYONE WRITE MORE FANFIC.

Fight him for his Bieber shirt, obviously. It certainly looks like it might be small enough to fit Elenor XD

I just wanna point out Elanor is 100% correct on him just being disagreeable. I went back and chose the other choice, and he immediately argued for the original choice. He's just trying to make Elanor look bad, jealous prick.

I get the sense the forum is hoping for this fight to end with the classical result of someone pushing someone else down and then proceed to... pacify the opponent. Which would be rather is character for this jerk. And also very hot. But totally not OK, because feminism.

Well, I was actually hoping she'd be the one forcibly...pacifying him, though I may be influenced by the devil route play through that's been going on in the TMGS 3 LP.

Heh, not likely, who do you she is, Chamabara? (Now here's a women who knows her S+M).

I actually don't mind that he's a MANLY MAN that solves anything by fighting etc'. I just don't think he knows how emotions really work. He's not the thoughtful, cconsidrate type (i.e. not marriage material), Elanor can bang an amazon queen/princess, why should she settle for some cranky, emotionally halted nomad? Go away Kuki-chan, we're not impressed by your Fabio looks.

Speak for yourself, dude.

But I do think Amukiki's romance with Saren is better, since it doesn't have the gender roles issues you get with Elenor.

Seriously? Isn't that look totally 80's? <--which is BAD, even if the entire fashion world has regressed into it.

I just like it because it's funny to see the MANLY MAN trying to figure out how to handle a romance with another men (hahaha who am I kidding, Saren is so his boytoy).
The problem with the Saren romances is DRACO. I can't not romance him, even tho I try, he stares at me with those big eyes and I crack.

I don't care about the muscles one way or the other (although little skinny guys intimidate me IRL because I am a fat lady and think I'll crush them with an enthusiastic hug), but I have a serious weakness for long-haired men.

From what I can tell, Amukiki basically came strolling out of an 80s bodice-ripper.

The jealousy scene with Draco made it really hard to stick to the guy. Amukiki, why you gotta be such a dick. We all know you could break him in half with one hand; maybe grow a sense of humor or something and you'll have a better chance.

Update shall arrive shortly, once imgur starts behaving again.

New OTP: Amukiki/Draco.

I'm sorry. I'll stop.

Probably not.

The fight is, in fact, an actual fight!



He scales to your level even if he's lower, but on the flipside, at least on normal and lower, is that he suddenly acquires a boatload of elemental weaknesses he didn't have before. The shield bash is kind of a pain, but the effects are easy to wait out. After the initial attackspam, he'll only be able to use it every three turns or so. Basically the optimum strategy here is "stab wildly and heal when necessary" which is my favorite strategy.



The implication here is that Elenor has picked his pockets at some point during the heated battle. Not that he has pockets. I'm choosing to believe that he keeps his money in his boots because the alternative is kind of gross.

Back to the part that isn't gameplay, there's a lot of clanging sound effects and swinging of swords and kicking of faces and knocking over of camp equipment. And then, a loud splash.



In the interests of speed and resizing issues, Elenor has also torn off his shirt in a fit of hatelust and/or anti-Beiber feelings.

Children, you are waking the whole camp.
Oooh, you guys are in so much trouble.

Karen fixes him with a Mom Stare. You know the one. He waves good-bye and ducks back into his tent. Everyone else contents themselves with silent, grumpy judgement.

I apologize.
We were just -
Hush.

Karen ambles back to bed with no further word, leaving us to check out the damage to the camp. It's a complete mess. Elenor and Amukiki eyeball each other warily.

His hair was slick with water, as was Elenor's but his eyes were still as sharp as ever, cutting right into her. A droplet fell from his nose. Elenor turned away.

They started to pick up items and replace them quietly. Elenor found a rag and was about to press it to her face. Just before the rag touched her skin, she looked over at Amukiki.

Here.

She tossed the heavy rag at the gladiator who turned in time to catch it. Amukiki was puzzled at first and then took a deep breath. He dried his face and hair in silence.

They spent a short while getting everything back in order.

Eventually, Amukiki walked up to Elenor and handed her the rag back. Elenor hesitated only a moment before reaching up to take it.

You are strong.

Both of their hands were holding the cloth as Elenor looked up at him from the sudden compliment. She blinked.

I'm not saying it back, if that's what you were expecting.



Pros: LAUGHS AT OUR JOKES

Amukiki is now at 4/5 heart points.

I like that Karen drenches them with ice water.
Get a room, you two. ;)

I wonder if Karen ever imagined herself ending up as the den mother for this group.

Goddammit Draco, why can't Elenor romance you, you son of a bitch.

Also, Elenor pickpocketing Kiki mid fight is hilarious.

Elenor apparently pickpocketing Amukiki reminds me of the first D&D game I ever played. I was a halfling ranger, and quickly became the den mother of the group. Some kid I'd never met before, who had also never played D&D, was a rogue and seriously excited about it. In the middle of our first combat:

Rogue: Can I pickpocket that Drake?
DM: ...He doesn't have any pockets.
Rogue: But can I do it anyway?

See, saying that right after the creation of the fanfic thread? That's just asking for trouble.

If you ask me they both have a little more chemistry with Mesphit.

I bet there's a lot of sexual tension fights in Amazon society. No doubt part of her royal duties involves roaming the streets with a hose.

You misspelled "awesome fanfic."

That...that is honestly the best royal duty I've ever heard of.

I think I just found my dream job.

Guys, we're overlooking the fact that Amukiki might sweat money. If this is the case, I'm thinking a certain dwarf might have some interest.
There's a stupid thought to carry around for the rest of today.

And now for a dumb joke: No wonder she ran away with a man, after so many years of wielding a hose in sexual situations.

GASP! THAT MAN IS SHIRTLESS! HIDE THE MAIDENS!

Seriously, are you sure it's safe to unleash that manly chest at the forum's virgin eyes? I wouldn't want this thread to be known as the new thing that corrupts the pure youth of America (everyone is the youth of America, regardless of age, ethnicity and location).

That scene reminds me again why I like Karen. She's so cool. Definitely an Onee-sama type. Plus, I really like her outfit, for some reason. I think it's that off shoulder cape.
Also: if giant spiders and rats can carry around pouches of gold and potions, a wannabe Chippendales dancer shouldn't have a problem. Although I admit the rats are probably more cunning (isn't Kuki-chan's cunning like 4?)