Less of an RPG and more of a dating sim with stabbing in it: Let's Play Loren the Amazon Princess!

Enough about that horrible blond twit. Let's get back to the not-horrible blond twit.

So… it really doesn't bother you?
I'm sorry, what?
My ears.

You can tell this started out as a Saren chat. Elenor'd have more reason to be bothered by any obvious human markers. I mean in theory; obviously she doesn't really give a damn.

I don't even see your ears.
I mean my lineage, silly. I'm not a complete elf. I'm still half-Empire, the people that hate you.
Nuh-uh, you're just Draco. If you don't hate me, I don't care where half of you came from.

This is the joking option, by the way. It's not out-and-out funny; it's just a little lighter and more buddy-flavored than the other options.

I'll protect you, we elves have to stick together.

Dude we're not even romancing you stop being so adorable.

Half of you, anyway.
Heh… right.

No! Never stop being adorable! Adorableness forever!

Y'know, it occurs to me that one small downside of the "Everyone is herosexual" approach that some games take is that it makes it harder to have what feels like meaningful non-sexual relationships with characters; you're either aiming at the dating/sex prize, or it just doesn't seem to go as deep. Like being good friends is some sort of halfway stage, and being in a romance is having a "full" relationship.

I like that there's this relationship here that does seem to be close and significant and awesome (and adorable!) even after it's been made completely clear there's not going to be a sexual aspect to it. I'd like games with relationship mechanics in general to have an awful lot more of that; I like it when the romance route is a distinct path, but not a separate extra path. If that makes sense.

There is nothing of appeal in that route. Bleeeeh.

Draco remains mouth-washing sweetness.

To be fair, you get a lot closer with the characters if you romance them - a good handful of extra scenes which vary from very romantic/sexual in tone, like Rei and Chambara's, to fairly platonic until the end, like our favorite bluebellied blueballer Mesphit, and then most of them are inbetween to varying degrees.

That being said, Draco and Loren both have pretty solid friendship arcs whether they're being romanced or not. Dora's also got a bit of that going on to a certain extent despite not being a romanceable character - it makes a certain amount of sense, given that they're the first who join up. Amukiki's always pretty late to the group, but he's the rival character, and fairly involved in events so there's a bit more pressure on him to develop compared to the peanut gallery, especially given how opinionated he is and how much challenging of beliefs comes out of that.

Alas! Though I suppose I don't mind as much if the non-romance option is still satisfying, which this one is, so far. (I'm currently feeling a little irritated at another game which puts a level cap of 6 on all your relationship levels with the various characters... and then, after a certain point, lets you raise that higher only on romanceable characters, by romancing them. Which makes it pretty clear that friendship is just the first half of a "real" relationship. Sigh.) I admit, this is really making me want to get the game and play through with a male character so that I can romance Draco and find out more about his woobie past.

Self-imposed challenge: get through the rest of the conversations tonight; advance us some plot tomorrow because I have left those poor dwarves hanging for like a month now. Unless it turns out that the Castle of N'Mar can't be done in chapter 3 in which case those dwarves are out of luck.

I couldn't help but notice your lack of… clothed… ness.
Oh… This is very much a belief of mine, but the clothes that you and other cultures wear… I consider them very restrictive.

Have you even looked at what Loren and Elenor are wearing? Restraint is not the word I would use for that.

Clothes are like cages. And often made from an animal. I do not believe such things should pertain to me.
But the vegetation that you wear instead, wasn't that at the cost of a plant's life?

She didn't mention shit about plants, Elenor. Myrth just smiles and holds out her hand. And then grows a vine out of it.

It is me.

Needless to say, Elenor is more than a little startled.



Myrth proceeds to giggle herself sick.

That always surprises people.

Let's ask her more questions! Namely, what's up with her feeling-the-pain-of-the-forest thing. You'd think that'd get inconvenient. But how bad is it, exactly?

It depends on how much the forest hurts. When something dies or is damaged out of balance, the forest cries. Cutting down a whole tree will hurt more than cutting off a single branch.
The worst pain, even worse than fire, is the feel of a demon in her midst. Demons carry with them a void of life. They slowly kill everything around them. Having such a creature in the forest is beyond torture.

I guess this is why they make Mesphit sleep outside. Uh. Sleep outside… in the woods…? Myrth's natural state of being is One With The Trees; maybe they'd be happier if they swapped.

So, it is beyond pain…
And that is why the dark elves were expelled.

This conversation seems very familiar. Almost like we've had it before. Once or twice. Or four times. Something like that.

Yes, for the most part. Their actions have branded them exiles, but their blood kept them that way.
But it's true that today's dark elves do not inflict as much pain as a demon itself. I cannot be sure, actually… Sometimes I am surprised when I am told that dark elves entered the forest. Other times, I know immediately.

Other times being whenever Mesphit was one of 'em. Near as I can tell, he's the only dark elf who is actually a demon.

And now, a brief rant.

Headcanon acquired.

Myrth's next conversation is on the nature of druids.

I know that the druids are forest sprites, but since I was raised mostly in the Citadel, I do not know as much about them as most elves. So, just what is the deal with you people?
I'm not particularly sure how best to describe my nature… I am not truly a sprite like the nymphs, but I am born different from man and elf. I feel as if I am one with the forest. As if I am the forest, like I am her voice.

Between that and the pain thing, this could be the start of an excellent horror story.

But the term "druid" has been applied to anyone who studies and is capable of forest magic, and that is what my lineage is called.
I know it's common to think of me as a magical creature born form a flower, but druids are similar to both humans and elves. I was born from my mother's womb, not a giant flower, like a nymph.

So what was that born different thing all about? I guess she just meant it figuratively?

That was going to be my next question.
Yes, many people ask about druid reproduction. You wouldn't be the first.
Oh, good. So I'm not weird.
No.

And Myrth passes up a perfectly good straight line. Bleep bloop what is your flesh-creature sarcasm.

So, are you the Queen of the elves or something?
I'm sorry, what?
Everyone looks up to you, and calls you Elder.
The elves are governed by a group of Elders, but the forest is governed by the Elder Druid. That is a bit confusing, I'm sorry. Since the elves inhabit the forest, we co-exist. It has been this way since the forest was just a single sapling.

…How many elves can you fit in a single sapling?

There are other druids in the forest, but I am the Elder because my mother was before me.
Do you hold any power over the elves?

I like to think that that was a Jokester-specific line.

I would not say that I do… But they do listen to me carefully when I speak of matters important to the forest.

Meaning that they listen and then they totally ignore whatever she says unless they like what they hear.

They do not take more than they need, and the forest abides them. It is very symbiotic.

Strictly speaking, ticks and tapeworms fall under the definition of symbiosis. If this were a setting with science in it, the term she'd be after would probably be either mutualism or commensalism, the former applying if the presence of elves were beneficial and the latter if they merely didn't do any harm. Maybe even biotrophic parasitism, meaning something that does harm but not a lot since it'd suffer if the host died. It's not an inherently negative definition; you could potentially define a fetus as a biotrophic parasite given how much of a drain pregnancy can be. Although it's probably more like mutualism in the long-term since kids can pass on your genetic code and do chores and pay for nursing homes eventually.

I really like biology and I have a pathologic inability to shut up.

No no no nonononononono. So glad we're not pursuing him.

So remember how I didn't hold the romance vote until mid-chapter two? And how most of Loren's romance choices happen in the prologue and chapter one? Guess what time it is it is time for RIVALRY CHAT.

Do you find Amukiki attractive?

Elenor locked up and blood drained from her face.

Answer me honestly.

Elenor still could not find the strength to answer. Especially honestly.

I will not punish you. Speak.
Why… do you… ask?
I had once thought all people were born to be attracted only to women, but now… I am not so sure.
Does the male body have a beauty that I am not seeing? What appeal is there, when you could have the pleasures of a woman's body instead?

Needless to say, if you're playing the field as Saren, that line about potential attraction to men has an extra subtext to it . And then the sentence right after it is pretty different too. I guess that'd be too rude even for Loren.



A difficult decision indeed.



I mean, obviously both men and women have their upsides, and there are both admirable and terrible examples of both genders.



We're trying to court individuals and not just simply all men or all women.



Personality is clearly of utmost importance rather than a simple matter of appearance.

How can you not see it? The glistening abs, the bulging muscles…? Nothing? Really? Huh.

But Loren's behind in the vote and also this answer is funnier.

Perhaps living as a servant to the Amazons has conditioned me this way.

Up until it veers off into unfunny territory very abruptly.



Elenor opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again. Loren's eyes lowered.



New screenshot, just for that face. It is a first.

I'm sorry.
Don't apologize. It is my own culture's doing… It is my fault for believing that Amazon traditions would not have… certain… consequences…
I'm to blame only for this pain. Leave me, please.

Loren closed her eyes tightly. Elenor found pity and left.

I'm not entirely sure what to make of this conversation; Elenor's just saying she thinks dudes are hot and if you've gotten this far she's obviously not too put off by women. And overall, it reminds me a little too much of that horrible cliche that all lesbians are only like that because they've had bad experiences with men, only in reverse.

On the other hand, Loren actually being sympathetic and feeling bad about the whole slavery thing/thinking about consequences to the big tough Amazon persona is always cool in my book. Rejection tends to bring out sides to the characters you don't get to see normally.

So I lost nothing of value by skipping? :D Nice. I love romancing Draco with Forceful Saren. Forceful Saren can act so Tsun at times.

It's even a good fit narratively - he does mention that Loren is surprisingly nice to him, and she punched him in the gut and threatened to cut off his head the first time they met. He only gets actual standards and decides that no wait she's kinda mean after chilling with Dora and the protagonist for a while. Saren being kind of gruff with him is pretty mild compared to what he's been through. Even if he does have one or two moments where he's like "What really I didn't think you liked me that much" and Saren's all "What no I like you fine it's just how I talk that's all."

I mostly am a big fan of him with Friendly Saren because Draco could really use someone who's legit nice to him all the time. Oddly enough, he doesn't work all that well with Jokester Saren - their comedy styles don't have a lot of synergy and they don't seem to find each other that funny. And let me tell you that is a death sentence in a relationship. It's sort of okay if it's someone with a serious personality not laughing at your jokes, but if someone with a defined sense of humor doesn't like any of your jokes and/or vice versa it is always pretty awkward.

You mentioned someone named Irijo?
Goddess Irijo, mortal. Goddess of Truth, and the Disciples' savior.

I'm sure I could read a lot into that "mortal" line, but I think he's just being flippant.

Why do the monks worship her?
Because she's the deity who blesses the world with Truth. Quite simple, really. If you're wondering which came first, it was Truth and then the Goddess. Our temple's founder, the original Master of Truth, was a great unarmed specialist who helped others see True Reality.

This is going to be a fourth wall breaking joke isn't it.

True Reality? What's that?
The naked world.

Elenor yelps and covers herself up. Not the punchline I was expecting!

Naughty!

The delivery was a bit forced for my tastes, but they can't all be winners!



Well as long as I can have Sauzer talk about naked people with that look on his face I would call this a satisfactory conversation.

How long have you been atop Mt. Kronos?
For as long as I've been a Disciple, which is a long time.

The next few lines are very oddly phrased, but the conversation turns around to why the temple was built there anyway.

Mt. Kronos is home to many tombs, which you've probably noticed from all the lovely undead residents, but it's also the closest we can come to Goddess Irijo.
But she is a God. Are you telling me she is buried there?

I would have gone for "she lives up in the clouds" myself but I guess that is also a conclusion one could jump to.

No, but her husband is.

To be specific, the first Master of Truth. I guess he got a pass on the whole celibacy deal.

How is that possible?
It's not really. Not for anybody but him.

That's some pretty impressive second-hand smug. Unless it is first-hand smug. Maybe I should be reading more into that puny mortal line of his after all.

Lucky guy. Maybe she'll remarry someday? Who knows, maybe she'll pick you.



More new smugface. Last smugface was prettier. And why do all of your conversations revolve around marriage and sex and nudity can you like... maybe swap with Mesphit or at least give him a few pointers; you are making everyone who isn't Chambara look like a bunch of slackers. Speaking of Mesphit, he's got one more conversation and then PLOT will happen.

I have totally been trying to play Friendly Saren at Draco in the demo. I should probably buy the whole game so that I can see that route through, but...so many games! So little money! Maybe after I finally get through Valkyria Chronicles and Eternal Sonata, I can go give adorable woobie Draco his proper due. (I'm not usually that interested in the woobie characters, but...Draco! So adorable!)

true. Yeah I prefer Draco with nice/aggressive Saren. (Joking Saren's for Mesph and Loren...someone needs to lighten that load :O ) [and being the fangirl I am I squee'd at the "it's just the way I talk." and "If I hated you you'd know it." lines.] Bah do the same with my Hawkes. Aggressives go with Anders, Joking/Nice go with Fenris. :O I may have a problem. lol yeah at least Loren finds funny Saren...funny. Draco just looks awkward XD

Elenor drifted off, unsure if a question about his demon blood would set him off or if it was pointless to ask. The pause allowed Mesphit to fully understand. He looked away with gritted teeth.

Her.
Who?
Demon.

Try being a little less wordy, fellas. It's agony on my fingers trying to transcribe all this riveting dialogue. That aside, I really am fond of Mesphit and his terse ways.

She spoke truth to me. She understood everything and she wanted to help.

Mesphit looked at his arms and tightened his muscles so that he could see his veins.

…Gross.

It did help… in the beginning.
But…

Then you turned into a hissing demon and started eating cyclopses and beating up your fellow dark elves yes. We were there.

You were no longer yourself?
I was weak, like our ancestors. My father spoke about how we had become a stronger race than before…
I prove that he was wrong.

Presumably he's speaking of mental fortitude rather than physical strength.

So the dark elves deserve to be ostracized? I know you don't believe that.
I don't!
It shouldn't matter. We are still living and breathing. We still need a home.
That's like saying demons deserve a place in our world, too.

Elenor where did this opinion come from all of a sudden.

"Demon," a word for an evil being. "Dark," a word for the absence of good.
Our words are our shackles. Your very language imprisons me.

Would you prefer "guy infested with a magical power that makes him flip the fuck out and kill things and then eat them"? Because demon is a little punchier. Elenor protests that demons totally are evil given that they're kind of trying to kill everyone for poorly explained reasons. Mesphit is just "OH REALLY?" which apparently counts as a valid argument now.

Elenor had no way to answer that. That was just an accepted fact. They had done so much evil across the world, and for no reason.

Frankly, that seems like a good enough answer to me. We're not talking about dark elves in general, after all. Or were we? I get the feeling that she was trying to play devil's advocate, as it were, and then it got away from her.

I think your blood may be going to your head. Maybe you need to lie down.
I am thinking clearly - more clearly than I ever have in my entire life.

Certainly more clearly than he was when we first met him. You know. When he KILLED AND ATE A DUDE BECAUSE HE WAS INFESTED WITH DEMON CURSES.

But you know that we must fight the demons! Are you truly on their side?
…No. I am no firmed to the demons in the east. But only because of the crimes they have committed, not for what they are. You say they are evil? Your idea of "evil" may not even exist.

Are there even… other demons? Elenor's reaction is basically, "Wow this is either deep thinking or complete bullshit either way I am not sober enough for this conversation see you later Ranty Smurf."

*sigh* And it seemed like you were doing so well, too. Go back to the smolder and flirtation. You are being beaten by a non-ro manceable monk and a gay (half) elf. They don't even have your abs! We broke Loren's heart for those abs. You better shape up, cause we need some abs and our heart is set on yours. If Elenor gives up and leaves you for Amukiki's abs, it will be all your fault if you end up with blue balls.

He's been smoldering I'll give him that, but the closest he's gotten to active flirting was tackling Elenor back in the desert. Flirting is not a specialty of his. He should go ask Karen for protips; now there's a woman with some experience under her belt.

Is it just me, or does Sauzer's grinning mouth look awkwardly pasted on top of his face?

Also,

FIVE REIS COULD NOT BE THAT BAD.

Now that you mention it it does sorta wonk around a bit on the edges. Cannot unsee.

I guess he's more like... eight Reis? Ten? In spirit they're the same sort of archetype.

So what were we up to all those weeks ago? Right, demons had invaded the dwarves city of Hammerhands and it was super urgent.



There are, in fact, screams and riots and shit going on in the background, while the music has stopped entirely. Ramas, needless to say, is devastated. He lives here, after all.

A couple of dwarven NPCs run up and fill us in on the happenings, which boil down to OH GOD DEMONS EVERYWHERE. There's a huge bunch of them attacking the keep in the middle of the city and if it falls we're screwed, but there's also a fuckton of them storming around the city attacking anyone not lucky enough to have made it to the keep oh god help us ect ect.



Ramas is only a coward in one area and none of those demons happens to be a cute girl he likes. He's got this shit under control. Just to hammer that home, the main characters aren't required members for the ensuing battle, but the dwarves are. There is an ensuing battle, by the way. It is over quickly.

Loren is eager to head to the keep, but there's dwarves in distress here.

We can't jus' leave them to die!
You heard them! If the keep falls, then Hammerhands will fall, and that cannot happen!

At this point, we've got like a zillion party members so at critical points you end up getting a bunch of randomized offscreen responses from a handful of them rather than a full participation barrage of lines. It makes for good replay value.

I'm not leaving those innocents to be slaughtered!
I am sorry, but the Amazon is right. We cannot waste our time here.
Helping the dwarves now might guarantee us a precious ally in the future. We should try to help them.

Loren sighs. Those are all pretty good points. The solution is obvious.

Very well. I'll save the keep by myself.
Sure you will… But maybe I should tag along just in case? You know, in case you die from fighting a huge demon army by yourself?

That set of lines sums up the relationship between the two pretty well at this point. Loren looks somewhat more secure with her faithful retainer at her back, but yeah, she was totally planning on going in solo because that is how she rolls.

This is pretty neat, right here - it's a widespread crisis situation so we're splitting the party. It's harder than having like eight people in reserve while the full battle group does their thing, but it's very in keeping with the characters. Loren and Elenor go sprinting off to the keep to hold off the demon hordes, and everyone else splits up to save some civilians.

Ramas and Dora are in charge for obvious reasons. They each get their own group of followers and their own personalized crisis to deal with. Dora follows the alchemist.

They destroyed my shop! Smashed all the potions and caused an explosion!
Anyone hurt!?
Not yet, but those demons got the side effects of my potions! Now they're overpowered, and are gonna terrorize the homes 'round here!
Aww, demons are bad enough, but now they're super awesome, too?

In the remains of the shop is a particularly bulgy looking demon.



Dora is the very picture of eloquence.

Die, stupid monster!

It may be superpowered, but there's only one of it and the coloring indicates a weakness to water. Plan accordingly.

You… you really did it… These homes are safe!
Woohoo! Okay! We'll take a quick look around to see if there's any more before meeting back with Loren, 'kay?

Victory secured. Over to you, Ramas.

Now I feel bad. Sorry Loren!

I love it when games with large casts do these kind of quests. It gives characters that you don't get to see/use much a chance to shine.

I feel that's plenty eloquent for the situation.

I was being generous and counting any conversation with relatively low amounts of political tl;dring as Mesphit's way of flirting. But yeah, it's a sad day when the hottest guy in camp needs to get pointers from the celibate monk on how to woo his lady.

The home of the miner is surrounded by demons, who are clawing at the walls.

Those dumb snot rags! Too stupid to know how to open doors, but cause all this mess!
My wife's still inside! You gotta get her out! Please!

Man she'd probably safer in there. Except I guess the house is on fire so maybe not.

Don't need to ask me twice! C'mon, guys! Let's kill 'em!

And then we killed them. The frantic couple reunites in a touching fashion and proceeds to run for the mines, with Ramas and co. as an escort. There is more fighting of demons on the way.

Incidentally said demons are kind of a pain in the ass and I died in a humiliating fashion due to unwise party distribution. They're not terribly strong but there's a lot of them and you can end up swiftly dogpiled without a few strong fighters and/or a good healer. They fall, eventually, and we receive our due adulation.

Now go on and return to your friends! Save our blasted Keep, it's all we got!

Meanwhile, at the aforementioned Keep…



This is not going to be pretty…

It is not. Moreso for them than for us.

The battle was done. It was clear that Loren would not have been able to storm the keep by herself as she claimed. Loren stood stoically for a moment as the blood dripped from her weapons.

Thank you.
Don't go soft on me now.

The corner of Loren's mouth twitched as she looked back at Elenor. They locked eyes. Their moment was interrupted, however.

Hey, save some for us!

We check in and confirm that yes, all of us are alive and totally awesome.



Loren takes this as a non-rhetorical question and scans the monstercrowd, pointing out a hugeass rock golem. The Ember Blade starts doing the glowy thing that it does best, and the demons start flipping the fuck out.



Stooooooop.

Everyone within leagues of the golem froze from the mightiness of his command. The dead silence that followed was so eerie that a chill crawled down Elenor's spine.

The sound really does cut off here. Or rather, the battlefield sound effects fade out. The crackling sound of burning houses is still present. It is very neat. The crunching sound of the golem stomping slowly over to Loren and co is likewise pretty intense. The group holds steady as he and the princess have themselves a chat. She's pretty intimidated, but this is Loren so like hell she's going to show it.

You are the sword keeper. You are the Amazon.

The ground shakes every time he speaks. He is kind of a big deal. She tells him to get out. He fully intends to do just that. Once she's dead.

Why have you attacked this proud city!? Us dwarves ain't done nothing to you demons!!
Dwarves… Elves… Humans… We do not care. He said that the sword keeper would show if we fought… We fought, and she showed.
You… killed these people just to get to me!?

Honestly pretty roundabout given that the dwarves were previously neutral. This is why nobody likes demons Mesphit are you taking notes?

He said you must die.

His mere proximity is sending up minor earthquakes. His demon army is shrieking around behind him, hungry for our blood. Our response?

Your boss is going to be so pissed when he finds out you're dead.

Atta girl.

Boss fight details: Khan is an earth type, and is backed up by one basic demon from the other three elements. None of those horrible pinkish devourers thank god.

He has a sad face! This is both adorable and hilarious and kinda ): all at once.

I… return… to my brothers.

The rock of his face crumbled and his eyes went dark. All that was left of the Alpha Golen was a pile of boulders. The demons behind him were no longer jeering. As soon as Loren looked at them, they fell out of ranks and tried to flee any which way they could.

Fortunately for the demons, looking at them is about all Loren can do. She's totally out of breath. Elenor fusses over her for a bit, as Elenor is wont to do.

The demons have attacked a neutral city… one untouched by the elves or Empire.
Yes, it will be most interesting to hear how the Council will try to blame this one on the elves.

Sassy wizards are the best type of wizard. We head off to Grimoire to ensure that no such assholery takes place, and many boring things happen swiftly off screen.

First, dwarves are no longer neutral - they are now strictly on the side of FUCK DEMONS. Second, we managed to hush up that thing about Loren being the actual target so obviously no conflict will arise from that later. Third, we managed to make the council be not assholes, presumably by having Ramas kick them in the kneecaps until they agreed with us .

Fourth, we have griffins! This doesn't have any effect on gameplay as far as I can tell since we already can fast-travel, but still. Griffins!

And thus ends chapter two.

Back at the citadel, Loren is playing host to the elven and Empire generals. They… don't get along. Nobody can suggest a single damn thing without everyone on the opposing side heckling it to hell and back, there is much bitching and eyeballing, and overall it this not a productive meeting at all. Naturally, it is not long before our Princess returns to her favorite diplomatic strategy.

Quiet! All of you!



It keeps jumping back and forth between like she's talking to two people and like she's talking to a number of them. I guess there's just two main offenders? One of whom, naturally, is General Samael. He wants to know if she's got any better ideas. Loren says that yeah, she totally does actually. And that idea is that she'll be in charge of both armies because she is the only one present who is not a big whiny baby.

Samael thinks that the idea of a woman leading an army is hilarious. Elenor kind of casually stops Loren from stabbing him. Nobody really bats an eye at the antics or the attempted murder. You get the feeling that this is not the first time this has happened today.

The Council would never let you take charge of its army.
Well, it had better if we want to win anything!
Uh, mistress! Maybe we shouldn't argue with the General.

Yes we should he's being a douchebag. I like it when Loren has to interact with people with even bigger sticks up their asses than her own. Loren does not like it, and allows Elenor to drag her away in a huff.

The forest Elders are not likely to give you complete control either, unfortunately…
She is right, however. We cannot wage war like this: divided in two.

This is what happens when you have a democratic government and not a nice sensible matriarchal military monarchy.

Then we should convince both councils that Loren is a remarkable leader.
That won't be hard.
Actually, it most likely will be.

Polimo can spot plot quests coming from a mile away. Either that or he's very good at basic pattern recognition.



Elenor takes this comment about elves personally, but just kinda… quietly wilts instead of starting yet another interspecies argument.

How best do you recommend we convince them to give Loren full command, Archwizard?

Poli suggests that murdering a shitload of demons would be a good start. That is Loren's specialty these days, after all. Ashtran leans over to our Cool People Table and mentions that there's one particularly troubling group of them near Horus. They're led by this scary barbarian guy. Why he threw in with Fost is a mystery, but allegedly he is pretty fucking hardcore.



Ashtran is our buddy.

On a related note, Princess, a succubus has been terrorizing the desert and forest. If you slay her, the elves may concede authority to you.

Myrth why do you only mention this now. Show some initiative, will you? Anyway, we now have a plan. Slay a couple of huge badasses to become the hugest badass just like in Highlander. Loren can do slaying. It is pretty much her middle name.

Outside, we run into some DLC. Breza comes running up and apparently that N'Mar place has been overrun with vampires again wait what. Clearly this is something I should have checked out in chapter two. Uh. Okay tl;dr they've captured eight of Breza's scouts and have killed at least one so far.

Oh god have I ruined everything

Loren is guilting the player about not checking it out sooner why

So I guess informal voting time strikes again; which comes first: Barbarian, Succubus, or vampires what the fuck

Don't worry, if you tried going there earlier Breza would have just told you to leave and let the scouts handle it~

Oh excellent, I have not doomed anyone or anything after all.

And I just noticed that the end of chapter two is post #666. Foreshadowing...?

Save the scouts first. I wonder how the game's going to portray the vampires.

I kind of want to see the succubus, but it seems like the vampires are higher priority.

...long as I'm stating preferences, more Chanbara? xD She's kind of hilarious.

if i remind well, the succubus is.. hum.. one hell of an opponent. I've find barbarians a bit easier to defeat. The vampire arc is quite long actualy, everyone sends you here, and there to do dozen of side quests. but is a good way to gain XP
and to see Draco being Draco

Barbarians first, I think. Mortal opponents, and then work our way up to the supernatural ones.

Looking at how the game presents it, it seems like saving the scouts from the vampires would be the highest priority, since lives are actively being threatened there. Thus, I vote for that. We can go for the barbarians after that.

I wonder if the succubus is the same one we saw with Fost earlier.

Vampires first.

Vampires it is! ...But not tonight, because my wrists need a break.

Going into camp unlocks a bunch of new scenes due to our heart levels being ever so high. Loren's is among them since I didn't manage to get her under three. It's also a little out of order since it seems to assume that you've managed to unify the army already… I guess they're just doing training nearby the Citadel while everyone bickers.

Summary here is basically the new soldiers don't respect Elenor, Loren gets righteously furious on her behalf, and it is very similar to past scenes except with some bonus insight into Loren's psyche and now we're back at four hearts with her again.

Cut to that good old sunset meadow and she's practicing some swordfight tricks on her own. I mean, technically it's a moonlit meadow by now given how long she's been practicing; gotta make the boss proud and all.

You will not get better if your enemies are in your mind.

Elenor does not want to deal with Amukiki right now. She's civil this time, at least.

And how do you train?



Of course. Elenor blows him off and goes back to fighting the air just to spite him. The screen jars and there is a metallic sound effect. If she won't bring the fight to him, looks like he plans to bring it to her.

You dare match a warrior with a thief?

Given her constant ribbing of Dora, the Amazon code of honor, and the fact that she doesn't actually steal things, Elenor isn't much of a thief. It's just the class name.

I know better.

Elenor's throat tightened. That could almost be interpreted as a compliment.

On a suicide mission, big guy?
You couldn't harm me.

They taunt and parry back and forth for a while.

Elenor felt compelled to fight him and prove him wrong. Amukiki may have been a hero to the Empire, but he was just a man to her. One that she knew she could take on. So, she tried again and unleashed several powerful swings at the gladiator, but he deflected each blow with his shield. Elenor growled.

Is that all you can muster?
At least I am not hiding behind a shield!

Amukiki grew serious and raised his chin. He shook the shield from his arm and tossed it away without his eyes leaving her. The challenge was heard and answered. With Amukiki wide open, Elenor took another go at him, unleashing the very moves she had just been practicing. One by one, Amukiki blocked the attacks.

And then it was his turn to attack. Elenor was caught off guard by his quick and heavy movements. Was this how it felt to be in the ring with him at a tournament With Elenor pushed sufficiently backwards, Amukiki let up and basked in her speechlessness.

A lot of Amukiki's cutscenes are comprised of him being Better Than You. He offers to train Elenor because she obviously isn't good at this whole sparring thing… despite, as established way back on page one, that being her entire fucking job before this whole Fost thing started up. Elenor is, needless to say, pissed as all hell.

You think that was my best game? I was just getting warmed up!

There is more clashing of blades. Ineffectual clashing. Elenor demands to know just how he's doing that. Amukiki smirks and catches her blade again.



The revelation fueled Elenor's furious attacks, but she took note. From then on, Elenor focused only on Amukiki's face, hopefully masking her next move. The gladiator slammed his weight into the side of Elenor's body, almost knocking her to the ground. Elenor did not want to admit that Amukiki was the better fighter; he was stronger, taller, and had much more experience.

But there was one thing that Elenor had on him.

With a whirling of her wrist, Elenor tangled Amukiki's weapon in his hand so that he would spontaneously let go of it. It worked, and Amukiki's sword was flung from his hands. Now, it was time for the gladiator to be speechless. Elenor smirked with pride.

Weren't expecting that brand of awesome, were you?

This causes him to reevaluate her a bit, but he still says that it won't work on him twice. They clash again, both at roughly equal confidence now.

They did not speak again as they fought each other. They each began to sweat and grunt as they threw everything into their attacks. They were both ready to win the duel, but steadily denied victory to each other. Even though Amukiki was a superior athlete, Elenor held her own with him. In an attempt to end it, they crashed their blades together and leaned into them, creating a stalemate. It would only end if one overpowered the other.

Elenor knew she could not beat Amukiki in a test of strength. Yet, she was still standing her ground, pushing against him with everything she had. It was as if the glare they were giving each other was what anchored her to the spot. The heat from Amukiki's face caused Elenor to realize how close he was to her. A bead of sweat trickled from Amukiki's forehead.

Elenor felt her arms ready to give out. So she did the only thing she could do.



Amukiki recovered as they stood apart. His breathing was deep as he reached up and felt his face. When he pulled his hand back, there was blood on his fingers. Elenor had cut him. The gladiator then locked eyes with Elenor and his jaw tightened. It immediately felt unfair that she had invoked magic, no matter how good of an idea it was at the time.

You know what else is a terrible idea? Sparring with live steel. They're lucky all he got was a little cut.

Without a word, Elenor walked right up to him and placed a hand over the cut on his face. Amukiki stiffened from being touched. Healing magic undid the damage that her offensive magic had just caused.

Or was it the magic that cut him? Because she can't do that. It never comes up again in either gameplay or story. This is like the opposite of that incident where she forgot she was a healer.

Elenor could feel the gladiator staring at her, but she could not meet his eyes.

…Sorry.

It was all she could say. Elenor turned around and sped away from the moonlit clearing, completely unsatisfied with how the sparring had ended. The look in Amukiki's eyes and the feel of him on her hand lingered more than she wanted them to.

Pretty decent prose, but cripes there is so so much of it. Amukiki is a man of few words so the prose carries most of what happens and thus I don't feel right summarizing it too much.

The only way I can make sense of the magic thing is that she tried to cast a random spell and it distracted him, although that's twisting the text quite a bit.

I hate gameplay and story segregation in RPGs.

Oh boy this is a new scene.

The heat was sweltering. Across Aravorn, Elenor was experiencing new weather that she had never experienced before up on the cool mountain of the Citadel. Sticky, hot air blazing across her skin was new. Not even the wind gave her relief. It was unusually hot for the others, as well. Loren and Karen especially.

I'd always assumed it was pretty warm up in Amazon City what with everyone's general attire. These ladies (and Saren) do not dress like people from a cool climate.

How do people function under this sun? The suns of the Citadel are more kind…
We should travel soon to find a new sun.

And then we were a sci-fi adventure. I can't tell whether Karen is being sympathetic or sarcastic or a diplomatic mixture of both. I like to think that it is that last one.



Nobody likes a braggart, Draco- oh, you meant the weather. Dude you're wearing four layers and can summon blizzards you are officially not allowed to complain.

Big baby… I don't even feel it.

Dora wipes an ocean of sweat off her forehead. There's only so much that not wearing a shirt will do in this situation.

I keep thinking about the lake nearby. It looked so refreshing…
Lake?

There is a contemplative pause.

Lake!!

OBLIGATORY BEACH EPISODE WOO. You wouldn't think a lady with short stumpy legs and a guy in heavy skirts would be able to run like that. Elenor starts to follow them, but notices that they're dragging everyone else along into it. Everyone. Else.



Elenor does this hasty slide backwards when Chambara sidles onto the screen. It is pretty great. Honestly, the sprite/expression transitions in this scene are slick as hell; I can't do it justice. Elenor has seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

Someone needs to stay and guard the camp!
How did I know you were going to say that? Spoil sport.
I'll have to describe it to you later.

Elenor hangs out at camp alone for a while feeling kind of sulky. And then she gets heatstroke.

Her eyes closed as her head went fuzzy. The air was choking her. She swayed in place. Then a hand held her steady and a remarkably cool sensation enveloped her head.



Hellooooo Nurse.

Hnnngh that expression. I don't really like smirks under normal circumstances, but he pulls it off. It looks almost affectionate on him. It probably helps that he's normally not much of a smirker. Or a smiler in general.

Elenor smiled, seeing how well Mesphit was handling the heat. The damp cloth on her neck was working magic. She touched it in gratitude.

Nifty trick. Thanks.

Elenor felt Mesphit's head over her shoulder, taking in an almost silent breath of air. Elenor spun around and placed a hand against Mesphit to keep him away.

Hahahaha what; was he sniffing her or something? Elenor asks him what the fuck that was, he just kinda stares at her in a vaguely intrigued and not at all guilty fashion.



Oh. My. God. YES HE WAS. Elenor doesn't even know where to start with this. I don't even know where to start with this. Mesphit just keeps on going with absolutely no realization that this is kind of a social faux pas among normal people.

You don't smell like anywhere I know.

Elenor exits Karate Defense Mode, figuring that okay, weird as all hell, but effectively harmless. She might as well keep an open mind here.

Smell? Well, I've never considered my smell before… I bathe, if you're asking.
No. You smell different from the forest elves.

No? Do they… not bathe? God, we really dodged a bullet with Rei there if so. Elenor reminds him that she wasn't forest-born and what he is smelling is probably lavender oil… Lavender oil? Really? Huh. Would not have guessed that.



He looks so utterly baffled by the concept of perfume oh my god

And then he leans in for another sniff test why Mesphit why

I smell a city made of stone and mud. Fresh kills, cleaned and cooked. Fire.



Oh my god is that a smile that is totally a smile he looks so happy about having figured that out. Man deserves to be proud; that is one hell of a nose… I really hope that isn't the demon half of him talking, though.

Wine vineyards. You're describing the Amazon Citadel.
Your home?

Elenor was about to answer yes, but her mind hung on the word. The Citadel was where she lived and grew up… but home?

I am a slave there.

Mesphit actually looks at her. She mentioned the slave thing last cutscene they had together, but his head was pretty firmly up his own butt at the time so it apparently didn't sink in.

Are there many slaves like you?

He listens quietly and seriously as Elenor gives him a lengthly rundown of the Amazon slave system in general and of her own circumstances in specific. She's internalized it a little less than she has in previous conversations with Loren and Karen, and plays up the "It was my choice and I made it so I could survive" angle far more.

I could have chosen death at any time, but I didn't. I chose this. I hold onto that fact and I get through each day.
Injustice plagues all lands, I see. Not just with the dark elves.

Elenor's eyes lowered. Mesphit saw her life as an injustice. She had never considered her life that way…

Looks like.
Will you return to the lake after everyone else?

He seems to know why she's avoiding the lake. I bet he's back early because Chambara kept grabbing his butt. Elenor affirms his guess, and he steps closer.

Until then…

Mesphit took the wet rag from Elenor's neck and slid his blue hand under Elenor's chin to lift her face to the sky. Elenor's breathing stopped at the feel of him. His fingers were calloused, but his touch was surprisingly gentle. And so refreshingly cool.

She closed her eyes from the sensation.

Mesphit's sprite fades out here for effect.

Droplets of water struck Elenor's face as Mesphit squeezed the cloth above her head. Elenor gasped, but soon it felt wonderful how the droplets fell back into her hair or trailed down her face.

She had almost forgotten that Mesphit was there until his touch disappeared. Elenor's eyes fluttered open and found Mesphit's staring down at her intently.



Ah. Yes. He was in the middle of a sentence before he started being all sexy.

The wet cloth kept Elenor cool long after Mesphit had gone, but the prospect of the lake was still too enticing. When all the others had returned from their excursion, Elenor excused herself to the lake to enjoy it privately.

…But the water never felt as refreshing as Mesphit's hand to her skin.

An understandable reaction. Mesphit has clearly realized that political angst is no way to win fair lady's heart. I applaud this.