Alternate Title: Why Ten Year Olds Should Be Denied Internet Access. If you haven't heard of Quizilla, it's this place where preteen girls go to make quizzes answering such important questions as "How random can your life get" and "What is your inner artist (now with pics!)." Oh, and it also has some truly awful fan fic: You know it's great because of that amazing use of punctuation! Did the author do that on purpose or was the original title so bad that the universe folded in on itself and could only express the title as a series of pained question marks? We'll never truly know. Anyway, just think of this as a place to mock these horrible, horrible quizzes. I'll go first. There are so many quizzes to choose from, it's going to be so hard to find the perfect one for mockery... Oh, wait. No it's not. As you can see by my AMAZING DRAWING SKILLS, I'm just gonna go ahead and go with Are you running away from the truth What Type of Unicorn are You. Man, I didn't even know darkness was an element. And isn't ice pretty similar to water? Whatever, I'll just go with ice. OK, imagen this: Someone taking the time to spell check something they post to the internet. Also, your question has a fundamental flaw: you assume that I like my friends and would leap to defend them from bullies rather than point and laugh. THE JOKES ON YOU, PERSON WITH BASIC HUMAN EMPATHY! Anyway, I just checked all of them. Why would the author use a checkbox for this anyway? Is one of the unicorns the magical pony of schizophrenia? My fave color is "stopusingabbreviationsyouasshole." It's a pretty rare one, you only find it in German crayon boxes. Once again, I checked all of them. I just can't resist clicking. If the creepiest thing you can think of for the dark unicorn route is "sitting in a dark place and thing," you need to get out more. For instance, making tender love to a hole cut into the Earth Mother would be creepy. Or perhaps organizing hobo blood sports. I'm just saying, this was a real missed opportunity. The author decides to end it the way she began, with a typo and a completely inane question. Of course, I checked all of the boxes to show the author the foolishness of giving me that option. Let's see what I get! All joking aside, that's actually a pretty rad unicorn. So this thing tells me I'm cool and easy to work with. To that I say I post lets plays of Quizilla on the internet and have gotten more joy out of insulting a most likely preteen girl over the internet than I have gotten all day. Clearly I am neither of these things. It also says that once my heart is set on something I become a whole other person, so it also failed to realize how lazy I am. I AM BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE ACCURACY OF THIS FIVE QUESTION UNICORN/PERSONALITY TEST. Anyway, feel free to post any other quizzes you feel deserve it.