Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

((Yep, unlike Javert Grantaire doesn't have a giant ponytail you can steal during peer review.

And is Grantaire helping the Landis situation? No. This time he's too busy hiding and trying to understand how a stream works.))

I do have my medkits, so I should be fine for a bit. I'm not so wussy as to die on my first mission, after all.

((JINXING IT SO HARD *popcorn*))

LEEROY JENKINS! POR LA MADRE PATRIA!

((The only one who coudl probably help, too.))

(("NO."))

The base has actually gotten very quiet. Landis seems to have disappeared somewhere within the bowel of it. Maybe Stargazer got to her. Maybe she just got tired....

Nope! Some horrible bloody screaming just came from an out-of-the way lab, she's still kickin'! Thank god she's not watchign the stream today, or she'd actually be WORSE.

Commander, if I might suggest, remember my suggestion for a gun that shot liquor? I think we should make it now. And then show it to Toni. The exasparation might help, and I'm not sure I understand why everyone is so preoccupied with the tiny people-things in the tiny forest-thing, so I'd even volunteer for the test run. I'm reasonably sure it's science. Enjolras had a point. Fighting piss drunk aliens has to be easier than fighting sober ones, and they'll never see it coming.

Enjolras is probably taking a nap. IDK, being this gorgeous revolutionizing is hard work.

Can we make it coke instead? I like coke.

I mean the soft drink, NOT the drug. Though if that's your thing...

((tagging AaronSofaer, Kaneda, fadeaccompli, Sarasha and Mind Elemental to let them know their characters are back in action!))

Operation Zombie King Dilemma (Part 3)



From the darkness, a group of sectoids approach.



Sofaer, still thinking he's a sniper, attempted a long range shot with his shotgun. To the great surprise of no one, it missed.



Meanwhile, Accomplie spotted a large, glowing device within the alien craft. Dr. Shen believes that this might be the primary power souce of the UFO, and requests that we retrieve it for study.





Of course, this won't be easy, as another group of sectoids appear to defend their ship.



Back outside, Bolivar sprayed an approaching alien with a hail of bullets.



She proved to significantly more successful than Sofaer's earlier effort.





The aliens returned fire. Thankfully, Sofaer was unharmed, though he might want to find some new cover.





As if we weren't being shot at by enough aliens already, what I can only presume to be the ship's commander materializes to join in the fight.



And unlike the sectoids, this guy kinda looks like a badass.

5 April 2015

Grantaire was hospitalized after trying to eat the monitor broadcasting the live stream (in his defense, he was sober at the time). Given how many of the troops seem to think they're not from the 21st century, I really do should sit them down to teech them how technology works.

I'm sick of telling Pavel the Skyranger is not a giant bird that should not be hunted for dinner.

Note to self: Ask Dr. Shen to look into developing a liquor/coke shooting gun.

*prepares for the epic wrestling throwdown with this dude*

(Or, uh. This gal? What's the female equivalent of dude? I should not be sexist at the aliens. Being female is no bar to being a heavy for us, so probably it's not for them either.)

((Well, I don't see boobs on him, and if sci fi has taught me anything, its that alien women, regardless of species, all have human supermodel bodies and at most have funny coloured skin and head tentacles that are analogous to hair >_>))

((He looks like a buffed up Kit Fisto sans head tentacle rasta.))

All this discussion of biology and potential sexual dimorphism would be easily addressed and answered if you would let me follow the research path to obtaining live specimens.

Although admittedly I have begun to see the potential in your constant unceasing demands for better armor.

My latest designs might require some slight modification of your skeletons to accommodate the new connections, but nothing overly serious.

It's not quite the sixteen meter tall robot death machines I wanted, but it's a start. Once they're all more machines than men, our forces will be unstoppable. Soon, these aliens will rue the day they ever crossed the Xenobiological Combat Onslaught Mech Troopers...

((So I come back home, tired as hell from a 12 hour workday, and what's the first thing I do? Update my LPs! See how much I love you guys? ;) ))

((tagging AaronSofaer, Kaneda, fadeaccompli, Sarasha and Mind Elemental to let them know their characters are back in action!))

Operation Zombie King Dilemma (Part 4)

Back outside, Dee closes in on an alien, intending to finish him off with a facefull of shotgun.



Unfortunately, not only are mind melded Sectoids better shots, their psychic connection somehow allows them to survive shotgun blasts at point blank! I'm calling bullshit!



It's therefore up to Sofaer to finish off the weakened Sectoid.



With Dee, Sofaer and Boliver occupied at the ship's Western entrance, it's up to Accompli and Pavel to hold the aliens at bay at the East.

Sofaer's heavy machinegun didn't manage to kill anything, but at least the aliens know that they can't simply waltz out of that exit and flank Boliver and her group.



Unable to advance thanks to Accompli, the aliens return fire from well within their ship. A well placed tree trunk keeps Pavel safe from any harm.



To the West, Sofaer isn't so lucky; a mind melded Sectoid grievously wounds him with a well placed plasma blast. He can still fight, but even on the stream, I can see his movements are sluggish and his breathing is labored.

God, I hope Dee and Bolivar can keep him safe.



Hoping to draw some of the heat off Sofaer, Boliver opens fire on a nearby alien. Her shots wound, but unfortunately, he's still standing.



Undaunted, the wounded alien continues to focus his fire on Sofaer. Thankfully, the shot goes wide and Sofaer continues to draw breath.



Dee takes the opportunity to put this guy out of commission for good.



Unfortunately, the persistent bastard somehow lucks out and dodges the blast!







It ends up being Sofaer himself who had to drag his wounded, metal ass out of harms way and gun down that damn alien.



With the Western side mostly clear of hostiles, Pavel and Accompli just have to keep the aliens occupied long enough for Boliver and crep to sweep in and flank the remaining defenders.



Return fire grazes Pavel, but the tough son of a bitch seemed to shrug most of it off.



Making her way towards the western entrance, Boliver opens fire on the aliens inside, trapping them in a hail of bullets coming from both east and west.



Sensing victory on the horizon, Pavel lines up for a precision shot.



One by one, the alien defenders fall.



Trying to grasp victory from the jaws of defeat, the alien commander takes a desperate shot. However, his target enjoys the advantage of the high grou-

((No.... no.... no..... n-no... no..... NONONONONO))

5 April 2015

I don't know if the troops are watching the stream...if they aren't, I do not know how to break the news. Pavel was always a pain in the ass, with his insistence that he was a fantasy hero, and his refusal to not swing his gun like a sword, but this...this...

... why is the base so quiet? Did the gremlin man finally manage to round up Les Amis or what's happening...? Can't see a blasted thing from the infirmary, people! Hello...? Anyone?

((Toni is going to explode and take XCOM with her, isn't she? >_>))

((I'm quite morbidly curious to see the resulting fireworks))

*puts on a watch*

*is instantly more machine than man*

SUCCESS.

N-no... fuck. FUCK. Why didn't he stick to me? I

I could've saved him

I

Fuck.

((Can't wait to see Toni's reaction to this shit. *popcorn*))

((Just my luck that Logan gets sent out when I have to be away from the computer for a few days. Finally caught up.))

There's a King!?!?!? Actually, that explains a lot.

Hey, do you want me to look good or do you want me to kill aliens?

Sorry Sofaer, I'll make it up to you someh--

Sonavabitch! Anyone have visual on the little bastard that ganked Pavel?!

Stay focused! W-we can't fall apart now!

((Same here! Pass the popcorn please. Edit: Ack, borked coding. It should be fixed now.))

It's this asshole. Accompli says she's gonna wrestle him (or her).

No you are not. We can't afford to lose another soldier because of a reckless mistake. If we are going to take the son of a bitch out, we will do it safely and as a team.

I'd actually like to capture him, though. I could ask him a couple of things, and I could... retribute a bit, if you know what I mean. Not to mention Landis would have a chance to let out the pent anger on something that actually deserves it.

We can't actually capture him yet. No arc thrower or alien containment facility.

Why did I just hear a voice on my head and why did it sound like a banana what do bananas even sound like I've been infected by the crazy what the fu--
Oh. Nevermind, it doesn't seem like we'll be able to capture him, so let's just gore him down in the most brutal fashion possible. Together.

(Sorry Landis, Grantaire will have to do. <3)

I'll - ow - happily - ow - introduce - ow - it - ow - to - ow - the - ow - gorgeousness - ow - that - ow - is - ow - my - ow - ass.

Ow.

A pause.

With a shotgun.

Ow.

((Now I know I shouldn't be surprised given that you're an all knowing banana, but I thought you didn't play this game? O.o))

(( <3 ))

I don't play this game; I'm just omniscient. My assistant, the banana fairy Elgoog, tells me everything I need to know about your world.

You could have just told me why you kept bananas under your pillow!

(( Mind Elemental, I'm so sorry about Pavel's death! If you'd like, please submit a new character. If you're too lazy to come up with someone new, we could just say Stargazer cloned Pavel or something =P))

((We're allowed to do that?!

I FEAR NO DEATH))

((Keep in mind though you'll lose all the skills and promotions your previous character had. With Pavel, it's not too bad since he's only had one promotion, but if say Bolivar bites it, that's three promotions down the drain))

Despite everyone's expectation, nothing explodes, no roaring of hellfire, no grand eruption. Silence.

The moment the shot connects, Landis stops in her tracks, goes silent and sits down on the ground. She's not blinking, she's holding her arms as goosebumps take over every square inch of her skin. She breathes out slowly and mutters to herself.

"Only other time I felt this way... Is when mother died..." She's breathless as though she's been running, but otherwise unfatigued, just choking on air. She stays there, in the dark, in a rarely used hall somewhere in the facility alone. Still not blinking.

"Why wasn't I out there...? Why wasn't I with them?" A whisper of remorse.

((FRENCHMEN, IF YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO RELY ON MY MEDIKIT THEN YOU'LL TAKE THIS AS YOUR CUE TO HUG LANDIS))

Enjolras approaches her and places his hand on her shoulder.

((I should use this space to point out that Enjy is actually really touchy-feely.))

"It will be all right. He died fighting for our cause. We will fight there in his name; he will not die in vain."

((The game randomly assigns nicknames once a character reaches the rank of Corporal [eg. Bolivar's 'Angel' nickname], it'll be a crime if Landis's isn't 'Mama Bear'))

((What're Enjy's and R's?))

((Whoops! Sorry! I meant Sergeant, not Corporal. You guys are one promotion away from a nickname))

((What a pretentious nickname, really. My grandma did call the original Simón Bolívar an angel, though, so it's kinda funny in hindsight. I can't wait to see what kind of things the game assigns you guys. <3))

She doesn't look up at him. She's not crying, but her eyes are cast down, blank, at the floor she sits on. After a pause, she prooves she is indeed still alive and not dead from shock by reaching her hand up to touch Enjolras's on her shoulder.

Her voice emerges weakly from the darkness. "...I was right then." Another pause where she seems to be struggling just to breath. "Who did we lose?" She seems to be hesitant about asking, but intent on facing it anyway.

"Pavel. I did not know him, but I am sure he was a good man. Any man who would put his life in danger to protect the safety of others is worthy of our admiration."

He takes her hand in his and kisses it.