Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

If I remember right, sniper accuracy up close with a sniper rifle is really bad. So...your guy makes no sense as a sniper...

((I think that describes Grantaire in general =P))

"With the training mission having finished, I recall an important piece of added information I wished to share with Mssrs Enjolras and Grantaire."

Stargazer holds up a familiar highly advanced cylinder.

"This is one of the S.C.O.P.E.s we have been assigning to active combat units."

He turns it sideways, so that the narrow end faces the camera.

"You look into this end, and move it around until you can see the enemy you wish to shoot. Then, pull the trigger on your weapon."

Taking it in both hands and shaking it for emphasis, he finishes.

"It is similar to the spyglass of your own day, only combined with the sights on your rifles for added use. They were, in fact, invented in the seventeenth century and saw practical use in eighteen thirty-five, when an American developed a working model. This model, on the other hand, compensates for nearly ninety-nine per cent of user error. If you use it properly. So, congratulations. After years of being a perfect representation of the oppressed working classes, you are the one per cent."

OK, Landis is laughing for the first time in weeks.

"Do you drink, Stargazer?

I want to buy you a drink or do something for you.

Ahahahah! God, I'm tearing up..."

Perfect timing as always, Landis! The commander just gave me the key to the bar. Just tell me what y'all want to drink and I'll get to serving.

I'd like a banana smoothie, please.

((there is something terrifying about this.))

S-sure thing! One banana smoothie for Banana.

"I will join the brain parasite in requesting a smoothie, thank you. Recreational consumption of a depressant known to cause sleep disorders and organ failure has always been one of those social conventions I dislike."

He reaches up and deactivates the remote feed from his lab, apparently intending to join you in person. As he does, the camera picks up one last thing.

"Not to mention the incident in my last year at school wherein, having imbibed a number of what I believed to be virgin daiquiris, I ended up taking a small township hostage with an army of cyber-zombies and demanding an immediate ban on culottes on campus."

"This place is scarier than any aliens I've seen so far.

Mostly because we don't shoot her, and she stays where we sleep."

"Fair enough.

I promised not to drink without Grantaire anyway, so I'll have a smoothie with you guys."

"Also fair.

Culottes don't look good on anyone."

So banana smoothies all around?

I'd prefer some crème de banane myself. Gotta keep it classy.

((I think we can just imagine Grantaire taking a good, long attempt at trying to use the scope as a spyglass and aim it at a wall because his balance is off. It's hard to get used to moving in a light skirt when he only just got used to the heavy armour.))

((Adds armor plated seifuku to the research queue.

And while I'm at it, adjusting morning calisthenics to be a choreographed performance of Motteke! Sailor Fuku.

For purposes of maintaining a proper military mindset, we will of course use the Jam Project Version.

))

((BATTLE PANTIES. Oh god, do I have an illustration? Let me look for an illustration..))

If there are any artists following this thread... ANY at all... PLEASE. I BEG YOU. I'll trade you a constant supply of bananas for the rest of your life!

^ why

On other news, I need to activate safesearch when looking for images to vectorize. Damn.

It's already been drawn, I'm trying to find the post...

Holy shit John I love you I will let you dissect me FOR SCIENCE however many times you want

Nevermind then. I won't vectorize any asses if I don't have to.

Also, relevant.

THAT

THAT

THAT IS MY FAVOURITE JAM PROJECT SONG EVER OMFG HOW DID YOU KNOWWWWWWW

/jumps on

/showers with hot-blooded bananas of SQUEE

Slow computer is slow. I still found my reference.

What are you saying? The whole purpose of my existence is to see Grantaire in battle panties.

((You hear that sound?

It's Victor Hugo spinning in his grave.))

That is my favourite "try and fail to sing in the shower and finally settle for hot-blooded humming and air guitar" song ever!

They actually came to Chile a while back. I couldn't go, but a couple of friends did. Lucky motherfuckers.

((He's been spinning hard enough to generate fifteen thousand tangents a minute ever since his most priced novel was brought into broad international attention by all-singing Englishmen, to be fair.))

((I still like to think he would've liked the musical. Slash fiction and Grantaire crossdressing? Maybe not so much.))

((I figure that all the Javert/Valjean slash alone has caused enough spinning that Hugo's corpse could be used as an alternative source of power by this point.))

((Let's get some bookkeeping out of the way. Firstly, Pyrephox, just in case you didn't notice, your character is ready and has some abilities for you to pick here :)

Also, just to make sure I'm up to speed, Mind Elemental and ehm ecks are next up in line for new soldiers once they are available))

20 April 2015

There's been some energy round the base after the training video. I rookies are pumped for their first shot at field duty, and the veterans have been grateful to finally know how to shoot their guns after all this time.

Unfortunately, the video and subsequent medical bills for the interns cost a surprising amount of money; our current funds are at $88, which is...well, not much, given how we're trying to save the world and all that.

And to further complicate matters, there have been reports of three separate alien attacks.



Also relevant is panic on the global scale. If panic rises in a country, it can have a domino effect on it's immediate neighbours, so uh, that might be an issue.

Ok troops, where do you want to go to shoot aliens?

On the one hand, the North American panic levels are almost troublingly high, and I could definitely make use of further support staff around here.

On the other hand, it is Quebec.

I understand Brazil is lovely, even this late in the year, but given how low the panic levels in South America are, four engineers doesn't seem all that worthwhile.

So, I will support Delhi in the hopes of recouping some of our tremendous debts and getting more than ten dollars for the monthly research budget.

Unless you have three satellites ready to drop into North America, Montreal, because otherwise all three of those nations are going to withdraw.

I am pretty sure that shade of red is not natural on North America.

The very unChinese named Abby will choose to hone her tech-psychic abilitites, and take Squadsight, and if I'm understanding the choice correctly, her second Speciality will be Damn Good Ground. SHOOT ALL THE THINGS.

I find this reasoning extremely compelling.

I hear Canada has wonderful school girls this time of year.

Let's go to Quebec. One of my best friends from another forum is from there... We lost touch though. Maybe the aliens got him. /sadsmile

"The whole of North America is freaking out and has received no support for us!

I didn't realize how hopeless things were looking...

We have to help Canada, we have to keep fighting a little longer!

It won't be pretty with that difficulty rating though.

Oh, please send me..."