Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

Do we have to go? I don't even have a passport anymore. We can just roast a few interns here...

I'm actually torn. I want Landis to feel better than she did last time she wasn't sent out (not to mention, anyone in her path), but are we really ready for something that huge? I mean... sure. I suppose I haven't done anything suicidal for months, easily. People might think I'd lost my touch.

On the other hand, I warmly recommend the Principal goes. He seems to want to. I have absolutely no ulterior motives in not being in the same place as him, so you can listen to me.

That said, since when do foreigners even have passports? Why would you need proof of French citizenry? Wait, don't tell. Everyone copied France, didn't they? Again. Tell you what, lads you can't make fun of our accents and preference for cheese one day and pinch liberalism, national states, absolutism, bureauccracy and passports the other. 's enough to drive a man to drink, and, speaking of which, I need a large one while we wait this vote out.

"Liberalism was invented by England, Absolutism by Denmark-Norway, Bureaucracy has roots in Mesopotamia and the ancient world and in it's modern form was invented by a German, and the earliest known mention of Passports is 450 BC in the Hebrew Bible. Still, one out of five isn't too bad... considering your usual accuracy."

(( ;) ))

Denmark became absolutist in 1665 after the nobility abandoned their duties of defense and the king aligned with the population of Copenhagen in ousting the nobility and break the contract of duties he had to them. which exceedes the Sun King's rise by five years. Let me rephrase the rest to modern bureacracy. Dunno what you mean by German, but if we're being technical the roots are from Roman state structure. Liberalism can probably be closer attributed to the Calvinists, but that doesn't change the fact it wouldn't have spread to Europe, Gremlin Man, unless French Trooops had picked it up while helping the Americans fight off the British.

...

Actually, good point. I still want that drink, though.

*waves a bottle of whiskey at him*

Thank goodness. History makes anyone thirsty. If anyone needs me. I'll be looking at frogs through the bottom of a whisky glass.

Make sure that you're seeing the frogs through the bottom and not at the bottom. Little guys keep wiggling into places they don't belong.

((Tagging Eightball, Kaneda, AaronSofaer, fadeaccompli and Pyrephox!))

Operation Incendiary Wardrobe Hellchild



With panic spreading amongst North America, it was decided that the team would head to Canada to try quell the rising terror. Our new recruit, Sgt. Winters was chosen to lead a squad comprising of Accompli, Sofaer, Bolivar and Prof. Doofenschimtz.



As always, our mission is fairly simple; kill the things that don't look like humans.



In addition to it being dark (again), it's also raining. The aliens always pick the worst times to invade.



Between here and Beijing, I'm getting the feeling that the aliens just really don't like construction sites.



I order the team to slowly advance, leveraging on the construction equipment to ensure the team constantly has some sort of cover to rely on.



Bolivar was the first to spot the first sign of alien activity; a pair of sectoids around a poor sod who had been trapped in alien gook.



Unfortunately, they spotted us too.





Accompli fires the first shoot, but failed to make a connection.

We really need to get that girl to work on her aiming.









Winters however is having no such trouble hitting her target.



With his friend down, the surviving sectoid escaped to warn his brethren. Knowing they've got mere moments before the alien hordes descend on them, the team quickly entrench themselves and prepare for heavy resistance.



Not long after, Accompli hears the sound of approaching aliens.



The team soon makes visual of the first wave.



For some reason, Bolivar attempted to shoot through a truck to get to her target. It didn't work.

Note to self: Organize special training session to inform troops that bullets generally cannot phase through solid objects.







Accompli however revolutionized modern warfare by walking around the truck before pumping her target's face full with lead.

You get me more armor, I aim more better. Fair trade, eh?

*poses dramatically after conquering the fiendishly difficult Truck In Way Of Bullets puzzle*

I'm remarkably easy to spot!

As an Assault soldier, and therefore a shotgun wielding total badass, I'd like to request a more useful item than a bloody scope on my shotgun. Besides, it doesn't go well with my hair or my trenchcoat.

Medkit or Arc Thrower, by preference.

Mmmm, shooting things. There should be more explosions when things are shot. And more shooting of things. And fewer vehicles in the way; they are harshing our shooting things vibe, man.

(*looks at the life expectancy of his Arc Thrower troopers* ... Bravest man in XCOM)

Hey hey can I get an arc thrower too? :D Since I can run further than other people it'll probably be easier to get in range, yeah?

Hey, commander, I thought I could shoot a hole through the tin and then have the bullets go through that hole, thus catching him by surprise! It'll work next time!

...what do you mean "it's ridiculous"? Your mustache is ridiculous.

N-no, I most definitely didn't drink any créme de banane or lick any frogs before coming on this mission. Of course not, why would you say that? That's mean. Pleaase apologize.

"Added to the queue, transphasic rifle rounds. And eyeglasses."

You guys know when I don't reply, it doesn't mean I have nothing to say, right? I'm not ignoring you, I can only get a few replies in a day before my browser/server issues start up and it no longer lets me reply to this thread. I'm never ignoring youm there's a lot more I try to say that gets cut out by limitations.

"Grantaire! Please save some for me, please! they sent them out on this hard mission without me! Grantaire!" She's flipping the fuck out again. Her hands are shaking.

"And a few that do, if there's Thin Men."

"Grantaire! Were you watching?! Take notes, that is how you snipe, dear!"

"That's my girl! Good work, Accompli!"

"Aaron, you're already more metal than man. Please be careful with that eletric-thing."

"Phasing bullets would be the coolest shit ever. Peopel woudl lower their guard thinking the shot missed, step out fo cover, then BOOM!

Additionally, if I came to you to get my perscription checked for my glasses, would I come out without serious eye 'alterations'?"

"Do not be ridiculous. There are so many flaws in the human eyeball I would need to go with a complete replacement. Possibly a sensory net distributed throughout the body designed to allow for three hundred and sixty degree vision in multiple spectrums....

Hrm. Could modify the sensors to also produce active camouflage for short bursts of stealth.

... I need to make some notes."

"I had to open my mouth, didn't I? Well, if you ever perfect that, let me know. Sounds kinda cool..."

Landis, dear, have a drink and stop encouraging him. He thinks DANES invented things. He's not right in the head.

"Yes, I want a drink if you're drinking! And hold my hand! I'm not coming on to you this time, I'm just worried about the mission. It helps."

Lol, 'this time.' She's serious though, her hands are shaking so much, her ice clinks all over the glass of whiskey.

Okay, holding it now, yeah? Could be worse, kiddo. I'm holding your hand still now, so get a drink down. Just remember; if you were out there, the fearless leader and myself would be, too, and then you'd have exploded from frustration at my sniper aim and taken out most of Canada, which would probably cut our founding, yeah? Bright sides to everything. Now... calm... have a drink... and maybe blink every once in a while, at least until the amusing little gremlin man perfects non-blinking eyes for you, yeah?

Enjolras is discussing the current mission ("Canada is one country now? British or French-ruled? Neither?") with a nearby intern and is not paying attention to the other members of the Terrible Trio.

((I'm surprised that Grantaire isn't making similar excuses to get Enjolras to hold his hand again.))

Landis's shaking calms a little bit between Grantaire's reassurance and getting some of her drink down. She takes a deep, cleansing breath.

"I've never been on a mission without you or Enjolras by me, have I? Doesn't mean I couldn't. I'd raher you were safer back here. I wish I could do it all myself. They won't give me more than one rocket per mission though..." She blinks a few times and randomly changes the subject.

"When we.. We lost Pavel, Enjolras held onto me and made sure I was ok for a long time. He's really sweet, I'm thankful he was there. I heard you were trapped in a door, I don't know what happened. I feel bad I yell at him so often. I just wish he didn't say things that are so ridiculous and irritating. It's like he's trying to set me off, no matter how much I love him." She sighs. Is it her fault everything Enjy says sounds like trollin'?

"Sorry for being so insane. I feel like it's my own family out there, and it's not like there's a POSSIBILITY of death and danger, it's a gurantee. I hate every second of this. It's not right."

(Ah, now, if he did that he'd have to put the whiskey glass down. He needs his daily fix.)

Enjolras... well, I see, yes. That's how he is, you know. I already told you; both of you care too much about stuff and then you start speaking in squares and the... sharp... corners... cut things... instead of being smooth... like trying to... swallow... those... screen things.
*clears throat*
How profound. Anyway, Enjolras is just that rare kind of person who always says the entire truth about how he feels. I doubt he even could lie. It's... admirable, but... I suppose with more than one person like him in the room, such as yourself, well... sparks fly and all that. Anyway, you can't do a thing about it right now, so let's just drink up before it's confiscated and try not to get sick with concern, yeah? No one can save the entire world on their own. Especially not when we can only afford one rocket on one heavy at one time.

((Tagging Eightball, Kaneda, AaronSofaer, fadeaccompli and Pyrephox!))

Operation Incendiary Wardrobe Hellchild (Part 2)



With the Sectoids dead thanks to the ingenuity of Accompli's 'Walk around the truck' strategy, a group of Thin Men spot the squad.



The quickly take cover in the darkness.



To make matters worse, another group of Sectoids are approaching. Doofenshmirtz attempted to gun down one of them, but alas, hit a portable toilet instead.







Another Sectoid tried to gun down Bolivar, but thankfully missed. His plasma blast did destroy her cover though, leaving her vulnerable to further alien attacks.









Several aliens take advantage of Bolivar's lack of cover and mercilessly open fire on her. She's hanging on, but barely.



In the meantime, Accompli tries to take some of the heat off Bolivar.





Looks like Landis has been teaching her a thing or two.

Take that, toilet! You....stink!

Now just think of how much bigger explosions I could make if I had better armor!

No, I don't know how that works either. But I swear to god it's true.

Y'know, we have a fully stocked bar, we have essentially no weapons budget to speak of, why aren't we, I don't know, tossing molotov cocktails out there or something?

The better question is why the hell are we spending our budget on a fully-stocked bar instead of, you know, real weapons.

That's actually a terrible question. We need the bar for liquid courage. After all, you and I are wearing anti-camo colored armor.

HEY ALIEN! LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE....

Anabanana does blend into the scenery best at construction sites...

No... *wheeze* I can't die here, can I. So many things I wanted to do... unifying America... getting the Spanish out of our lands... brewing the ultimate créme de b-*wince* banane... I

I don't... want to die yet.

((I'm totally going to die, am I not? Name my next incarnation Neruda if it isn't too much problem, so that I can whip out the poetry puns. :D))

20 April 2015

The troops have been petitioning that we re-prioritize our bar budget towards weapons and equipment.

Fools. If we didn't have enough alcohol, how would we celebrate after killing all the aliens and not suffering any casualties despite our insufficient weaponry and armor!?

Canie just shay the Co... Co... beard... thing... ish entirely right... and that... that... I whole-h... fuck... shuport this of all my... liver. Well done.

((Tagging Eightball, Kaneda, AaronSofaer, fadeaccompli and Pyrephox!))

Operation Incendiary Wardrobe Hellchild (Part 3)



Using the opportunity created by Accompli's rocket, Doofenshmirtz uses the opportunity to open fire on a distracted Sectoid.

Unfortunately, he's wounded but still standing.





Drawing strength from the moral support of Optimus Prime in the background, Sofaer guns down another Sectoid.



Thanks to the efforts of Doofenshmirtz and Sofaer, Bolivar managed to scamper behind cover to tend to her wounds.



Unfortunately, if rather predictably, a group of Floaters have been drawn to the sounds of us butchering their kin.



Luckily, we've got Winters on the case. She lines up her shot...



...and promptly misses.

Note to self: Winters is no longer allowed to hang out with Grantaire.

((By the way, is Imageshack loading slowly for anyone else? It's been so slow for me that these updates are bloody torture))

((I use imgur, so I can't be of any help determining imageshack, sadly. I suppose you could try testing another upload host to see if it's your connection?))

((This thread's been kinda crashing my browser for soem reason for the last coupel of days. Don't know if I can reply anymore.))

((Can I calmly and firmly ask your stupid pc to get a grip and not sound too immature? Sometimes I swear it's like it knows where it'd be most annoying to break. Hopefully it'll randomly decide to work again a bit later :/))

For what it's worth, all the images are loading for me just fine.