Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

((Considering Grantaire's flawless aim record so far sending him to fight in a panic zone while he thinks all the actual humans have two dimensions is a bad idea of nearly RPG-protagonist worthy standards.))

Actually, that's a quick suggestion for the posts calling for volunteers: could you list who's available (and who's still in the hospital) during those posts? I'm not actually sure how fast days are passing in game, so I don't know how long it'll be before recovery and Revenge On Trucks.

I totally volunteer.

I guess we ought to help out over there, then. Count me in.

Oh honey, you haven't realized by now that bad ideas are what we do?

Toni's heart is eased momentarily from the burden of worry to smile and take in how everyone able is volunteering. Sure, their motives are not all wholesome, but their bravery to face heavy intimidation and extreme danger makes her proud.

((Tagging Teddybear of Death, Davian Korran, Sarasha, Anabanana and Jacquelle))

Operation I Hate Thinking Up Operation Names



The response to the call for volunteers in response to this new alien offensive was overwhelming, with pretty much every able bodied soldier (and a few injured ones) raising their hands. Unfortunately, the top brass still refuses to fund a second Skyranger, so only five unlucky soldiers get to go.

Given that reports indicate a far fiercer alien attack than what we've seen before, I decided to field some of the more experienced troops for this mission.



The mission is slightly different this time. Unlike the previous attacks, a large number of civilians haven't managed to evacuate the hot zone. In addition to killing all hostiles, we'll have to save as many civilians as possible.



Well...this doesn't look great.





The mission zone is a large highway in Alexandria. Only this highway is on fire.



Banana barely took a step from the Skyranger before she encountered a duo of Floaters prowling for any defenseless survivors.



I'm not exactly sure how he did it, but Dr. Stargazer managed to develop a device that allows us to not only locate survivors (note the blue rings), but to also keep track on how many civilians are on the site and how many have been saved or killed.



Making use of a destroyed car as makeshift cover, Grantaire positions himself to take a shot.



...I'm not ever surprised anymore.



I've been told that Grantaire has been exposing the virtues of point blank sniping to the rest of the troops. Dee has been a particular ardent supporter.







However, given how her weapon of choice is a shotgun, point blank shooting actually makes sense.

It's not my fault this stupid thing only works if it's pointed directly at whatever we're shooting at! Modern people! You can make things fly, but you can't make a self-aiming gun and you can't make aliens into booze! I question your priorities.

Ooh who's up for getting zombified?

"It doesn't really bode well for our mission when our commanding officer is getting lazy..."

"That's probably wise.

Though I... Worry about them..." She's pretty nervous about this mission. She's got a baaaad feeling.

"Wh-Wha..?

I'm not used to not shooting anything that moves..."

"Look Grantaire, I told you Stargazer was benevolent!

That's incredible, he's a genious..."

"Who is?

I forget why we bring him...

Oh yeah, loveable mascot and moral support.

............

Grantaire, don't die.

I'll be very irritated with you.

Now, where's Enjolras?

I have to stick to the boy..."

((Tagging Teddybear of Death, Davian Korran, Sarasha, Anabanana and Jacquelle))

Operation I Hate Thinking Up Operation Names (Part 2)



With the Floater down, Enjolras rushes to a nearby survivor to get her out of harm's way.



In the meantime, the surviving Floater rushes towards the troops, intent on avenging his friend's death. Luckily, Landis is here to put a stop to him.



...evidently Grantaire disease is contagious.



Luckily, Landis's hail of bullets did manage to halt his assault, leaving him stranded in the open.



With the alien temporarily stunned, Landis rushes to a nearby civilian to order his evacuation.



Banana does the same for another survivor, in addition to positioning herself to gun down the Floater.







I really do love how they explode when they die.





With the first wave of aliens dead, the troops are free to focus on rescue work for the timebeing.



Suddenly, blood curdling screams were heard from the distance. As if on cue, Stargazer's device recorded two further fatalities.

We're not done here yet.





As painful as it is, I order the troops to approach slowly and carefully.

One of the terrible realities of command is that sacrifices must be made, and whilst we must minimize civilian casualties, it's even more important to minimize casualties amongst the only people capable of saving the rest of us from the alien threat.



Up front, Enjolras hears what we believe to be an alien cry. However, it's unlike any we've recorded prior.



Unfortunately, this is coincided with yet another civilian death.

The losses are piling up...



Suddenly, a new alien creature crawls from out of the darkness.





And they don't look friendly.

OMG SO CUTE!

Anybody brought along an Arc Thrower? Nobody? All right then... :(

That is weirdly adorable. If only I were there to shoot it in its weirdly adorable face.

...I mean, I think that bit there is the face. Maybe.

((Ana is Commander Shepard. That explains so much.))

It's not like I can just ignore him, he spends most of his downtime at the bar. Not that I'm complaining, look at those results!

I knew I forgot something.

These new aliens are pretty... and glowy... *face to screen*

Bloody hell.

We have a plan B, right? And it involves running, right?

Only the LP crowd would find Chryssalids adorable.

((They kind of look like mecha Mass Effect Keepers. Without the backpack thing.))

Why so tsundere, Raife?

I don't know what that means, but this will illustrate my point.

"Good work. Be safe out there!"

"No! Shut up! I have a plan!"

"It's called 'intimidation!'

C'mon man, you gotta get the hell out of here!"

"No one can beat our Banana!

W-Wait that didn't come out right..."

"Are you serious? We can't keep up, this is a nightmare!"

"What're you doing 'up front'? For god's sakes boy, fall back a little so we can cover you!"

"We have to do.. Something! Dammit!"

"Argh..! What the fuck is THAT? Enjolras, don't get too close!"

21 April 2015

Quite a few of the troops are insisting that the newly encountered alien species are cute. God help us all if the aliens ever decide to weaponize baby seals.

((Tagging Teddybear of Death, Davian Korran, Sarasha, Anabanana and Jacquelle))

Operation I Hate Thinking Up Operation Names (Part 2)



Cute or not, these new aliens don't waste any time in advancing towards us.





However, their movements are...strange. Unlike the previous aliens we've encountered, they are running freely towards us without any heed for cover.



Oh well, not our fault aliens are stupid. I ordered Enjolras to run up to the first alien and blast it's adorable face off with a shotgun.



Well, this is the end of the road for this guy.



BOOM!



He's uh...not dead.

Crap.





Luckily, Landis was nearby and is able to cover for Enjolras.

Also, a survivor seems to be pooping in the background.







There we go!

Alright, these guys are a hella lot tougher than the previous aliens we've seen, but stick enough bullets in them and they'll still go down.





Unfortunately, as the troops were occupied by that alien, his compatriot murdered another innocent civilian...



We might have failed to save him, but we sure as hell will avenge him!



Banana splatters him with bullets, but like the previous one, he doesn't go down easy.





I'm putting Grantaire under quarantine once this mission is over...

ALIENS THAT DON'T DIE WHEN YOU SHOOT THEM, I CHALLENGE YOU TO COME THE HELL DOWN HERE AND SEE HOW EASY AIMING WITH SHAKING HANDS IS.

... wait. No aliens in a quarantine. Is it a quarantine with booze? You should definitely commit me.

You missed a glorious opportunity to name this "Operation: Who wants to be a zombie?"

"JESUS EVERLOVING CHRIST! NOOOOOOOOO! ENJOLRAS, DON'T RUN UP TO IT!"

"NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"

Of course she was. Would she be far from Enjolras?
"GET DOWN, GET DOWN, I HAVE TO KILL IT!"

Wouldn't you be? I'm not so sure I'm not RIGHT NOW.

"No! Fucking aliens!"

"That's not gonna bring him back for his family! Or the other 7+ people who've been brutally murder!"

"What're you talking about? Enjy couldn't hit anything before this all started."

"HEY! You're gonna leave Enjolras and I to die!?"

Uh... well... no, but... can't we all... erm... just maybe call it a day or... bring a bigger gun?

Yeah. Sounds like a valid thing to complain about, if you ask me.

21 April 2015

I kinda wish I could replace all water in the base with beer. Sure, the results would be catastrophic, but it'd be hilarious.

YES.

((Tagging Teddybear of Death, Davian Korran, Sarasha, Anabanana and Jacquelle))

Operation I Hate Thinking Up Operation Names (Part 3)



Enjolras might have missed, but Dee is there to back him up.

I must say, this team has gotten very good at covering for each others' misses.



She connects, but the stubborn bastard refuses to go down.



Too far away to make the finishing shot, Landis focuses on evacuating nearby civilians.



Too weak to tackle our troops head on, the alien...retreats to the body of the civilian it killed earlier?

What the hell is it doing?

Wait. Is the body moving?





Well. This seems oddly familiar.

THINGS THAT DIE ARE SUPPOSSED TO STAY DEAD. Mille de tonnere, WHY did I volunteer for this?! Why isn't the yellow woman the slightest surprised? Why isn't our dear bartender, for the matter?

... if I should die, think only this of me; I shall be back to GET YOU.

...I take it back. These things need to DIE.

In FIRE.

((I don;t know why, but I read this in Doofenshmirtz's voice and laughed out loud xD))

You're one to talk about that.

Zombies, remember? Though these things are pretty disturbing. Don't worry, I'll freak out plenty once we get back to base. And stop that talk of dying, all you're going to do is upset Landis.

Believe me, Banana, you wouldn't have thought they were cute if you had been up close and personal with them like I have. Nasty little buggers.

((I did the same thing. XD))

"Bah. Inferior, purely organic knock-offs. Pound for pound, cyber-zombies will overwhelm corpses re-animated by alien parasites every time.

In any case, I would suggest accelerating the rescue operation timetable. The fewer civilians they manage to lay hands on, the fewer zombies you have to deal with.

...Also, if any of those abominations are allowed to kill our troops and transform them into undead mockeries of their former existence, I will be most upset. I am supposed to do that."

"Good, because we do enough missing."

"GOGOGO! RUN! AWAY FROM SPIDER THING! RUNRUNRUN! Not you Grantaire!"

"WHAT!"

8< Jaaaaveeerrrttt! Where are you when we need you?! There's zombies to be set ablaze!

((I cannot overstate how much he'd love to firebomb the entire area, had he been around.))

THAT'S a zombie?! I'm actually a bit relieved now. No way I'm one. But yeah. Sure. Wasn't planning on dying. In fact that's about my only non-priority. My chief one, though-

-HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT DIE IF I STAY HERE?! Have you seen my shot-to-kill ratio?!

((Tagging Teddybear of Death, Davian Korran, Sarasha, Anabanana and Jacquelle))

Operation I Hate Thinking Up Operation Names (Part 4)



Grantaire missed!? WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN THIS

While Grantaire was shooting the car in front of him, the injured alien made its way to another frightened survivor.







...not a nice way to go.



Eww! What the hell is it doing!?







Unfortunately, we don't have too much time to be grossed out; the zombie is shambling menacingly towards us!





Using her superior living person agility, Landis flanks the zombie and prepares to shower him with bullets.



I swear to God, there's something in the water they're drinking, or something.



Banana however is far less fazed by the whole Night of the Living Dead thing going on, and helps a civilian to her feet.









First rule of surviving the zombie apocalypse: run the hell away from angry mobs kill the alien organism creating zombies in the first place.