Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

8 March 2015

Turns out that Dr. Vahlen isn't the only mad scientist we've got, there's also Dr. Shen, head of engineering. Whilst Vahlen's team is responsible for dreaming up the crazy weapons they assure me we'll eventually be able to suit up our troops with, it's Shen's team that is responsible for actually mass producing them for our use.



At the moment, Shen doesn't have too much to do, given that Vahlen's still focusing on her initial research. That said, he said he can start production on satellites for...$100 per unit...?

What the hell is that satellite made of??

Papier-mâché. We get one of the interns to do it over the afternoon.

Well, our head of engineering, guys.

Oh, by the way, we've got a whole bunch of new volunteers! Never knew people were that keen on blocking lasers with their faces, but hey, I'm not complaining!

Logan Dee



Apparently Logan here is a fellow zombie survivor. That said, she doesn't seem to have been all that affected by the ordeal, focusing more of her ire on, "...that fucking plant..."

Fade Accompli



I have some worries that Fade's fluorescent hair will be bright enough to attract alien fire, but hey, so long as she can shoot them first, all will be well.

Denam Pavel



Like the two Franchies, Pavel here is insane. Unlike those two, this guy claims to be from some place called Valeria, which doesn't even exist! Also, apparently he initially planned on fighting aliens with a sword. Not a great start.

Reginald Wellington



GLORIOUS MUSTACHE.

Oh, and this is Central Officer Bradford;



His job is to tell me whenever we're under attack. Which means I'm going to hate seeing his face more than I already do. Hey! Speaking of which, we're under three simultaneous attacks right now! Unfortunately, XCOM is so poorly funded that we can only respond to one of these attacks, so pick wisely, guys.

We must protect our fatherland! Vive la France!

I knew it. I knew it. Sorry, ladies, can't let him get himself killed without me. You understand, I'm sure. I suppose at least Lille has some decent cellars to get shot in...

Money if you've already started making the satellites, Engineers otherwise.

[edit] 3 satellites if you can build your satellite uplink adjacent to your current one by the end of the month, 2 otherwise, and don't fret the cost!

Orestes needs his Pylades, after all.

Just putting it out there, fearless leader; it's really hard to hunt a police spy if you're de-

......

He went into the transport already, didn't he? And I'm sobering up. Lovely.

No fear, no regr-- shit, wrong character.

Toni's still standing somewhere near R and Logan when this glorous news comes in and the team joins them. She takes the news well as they sare at the screen and mission information.

"...My god, is it midnight here already? How long was I on that plane?"

Oh, she's just jetlagged. Fabulous.

The brows furrow again.

" 'Leader?' Who made him leader? I am not THAT suicidal."

She crosses her arms stubbornly and stays planted to the spot.

"Besides, suicide is exactly what it is and we will help no one if we fail and feed the menace beasts.

We're mostly new and have never worked together. It would be more wise to take the Argentinian job.

It's implied that it will be closer to our skill level.

The effort is useless if we're all slaughtered on our first mission..."

Cowardly or logical? You decide, since her gaze is as devoid of emotion as ever.

(Welcome home, Snark?)

Far be it from me to argue with a lady of your esteem, mademoiselle. I am the leader of Grantaire here, out of his own will; I would not lead others in our group if they did not want it so, particularly if they believed it to be suicide.

However, it appears we must move as a group here; while I wish to protect the land dearest to me, others may have different priorities.

Landis blinks a bit, looking caught off guard for the first time.

"Oh, I didn't realize you two were married."

HAHA she just called Grantiare his WIFE. The best part is, she says it with such a straight face you can't tell if she's being sarcastic. It sure doesn't sound like it. Either way, wildly tactless on a number of levels. We can rule her out as a potential leader at any point.

"I've got no esteem to offer, though. I have no idea what we're about to face or what I'm talking about.

I'm just an astronomy student who's been roped into a war."

She turns a moment to look over her shoulder at some the the rookies who've been rather silent since volunteering. Perhaps all have little to live for, which would make sense if they were volunteering for this mess.

"Speaking for the stoic, unexperienced, cannon fodder group since no one else seems to be, I just don't want to die like a fool."

Well that settles it, coward. Grantaire is right though, rigid chick needs a drink or something...

Not to mention; he's happy long as we keep the downthrodden safe. Always been such a magnefique game plan to defend people who can't or won't return the courtesy. Abesse, every place has them, and we are, after all, Les Amis ABC. I do miss Courfeyrac. Such a head for puns, that one. Less of a head for ducking.

And trust me, mademoiselle, it reflects more on poor judgement on my part to stay than anything else, but you have to admit he's at least earnest about it. That's why he'd make such a shoddy politician. And what's a big death, right?

That said... what is Argentina, anyway? It looks like someone sneezed on whatever that continent there is...

*swallow*

... I'll just go get you that drink while Enjolras sorts you out, shall I?

(Grantaire is as much a coward as anyone, anyway. He doesn't want to hear Enjolras deny it and explain the whole Patria affair XD)

((Enjolras and Grantaire married? Not TOO far off from cannon, really XD)

Who cares about your frightened soul? We strive toward a larger goal! Our little lives don't count at all.

Now look what you did, kid. Better make that a big drink. For us both.

"South America? Let's see..."

She moves to the displays and touches things, bringing the image of the continent and the mission to Argentina back up to examine. She is quickly shooed away by techs who don't appriciate her touching without permission, even if she did it right. She just casually returns to her previous spot to examine it with them.

"I've never been there myself.

I'm to the understanding that it contains a number of poor and third-world countries though.

So I'm sure some would agree it's been 'sneezed on' by comparason to Western Europe.

So long as we don't pick up any parasites or humping monkies, I'm sure we'll be fine."

She is so reassuring.

"...Do you have any scotch?"

Oh now you've got her interest. Should they be getting buzzed right before a mission? Well, I guess there's nothing better to relieve the tension in the waiting before combat.

There go the eyes brows again as her eyelids slip over their charges.

"As a matter of fact, I care. Quite a bit. I'm counting my life, and it turns out, I've just got the one.

Feel free to step into death in my place if yours is burning a hole in your pocket.

I'm not too proud for charity."

More classy remarks. Now she's telling teammates to go kill themselves. BEST TEAM!

Mademoiselle, fighting sober is fighting stupid. I was piss drunk during the revolution and I made it through almost to the end when I... woke up. And technically we must all have at least two because I could swear I got shot... never mind.

South America doesn't sound French, though. Unless they have agreed to the French Constitution they're not French and we can't help them. You see, his first love was the Republic and his only mistress is Patria. Now have some Scotch and resign to your inevetiable doom like a proper Frenchman. I'll have a double myself. Anyone else thirsty? We'll be red and black soon enough regardless of the destination!

((Switching between Book!Enjolras and Musical!Enjolras like a boss. Also, do you mind all this roleplaying in your thread, Snark ? I can cut it out if you want.))

One the one hand, it would be an honor to die fighting for the poor and disenfranchised, those who have been "sneezed on by the world". On the other, Patria.

(He needs a moment.)

Can I make a small post and edit it?

Edit: (Oh good, my server problems with posting have come back! It took an hour to get that original post to go through. :D)

She has to take a drink of the scotch he finds before responding. Immidiately, her eyebrow twitches a bit. It's not like she can't handle the liquor, more like her whole shell of a stiff face is cracking. Her next words come with a bit less monotone and notably more enthusiasm.

"This is the problem, you guys have to stop thinking like Frenchies. I'm already so homesick for the States... You see, in America, you go into any conflict just ASSUMING you've already won! Even if on paper or by any traditional means you seem to have lost, there is always some way to make it you've won!"

Hey, her halting speech stopped! The more she sips her drink, the less pale and robotic she looks and sounds. Bits of color slip into her ever-cracking facade. Also, she made have just made Flo-Rida's 'WE ALREADY WON!" song their anthem.

"Think of it as positive reinforcement! We can't go blindly charging into battle with the intention of dying! We must play to win! Any losses must be strategic losses!"

She squints at him from behind her glasses, giving him a quizzical look.

"Who is this 'Patria' you two are so obsessed with? Does she have a restraining order yet? Because you've gone from cute admiring to full-on stalking and unsettling."

Language barriers! Yaaay!

"You're such a blind idealist... How've you survived this long?"

"A drink sounds really good right now." She steps closer to Grantaire and speaks to him in a hushed whisper. "We may have to separate those two. Wouldn't be good to go out there already injured and big angry fights between teammates in end-of-the-world situations do not end well. Believe me, I know from experience."

Just to confirm, Snark, we vote by liking one of the posts you made, right?

Toni is close enough to catch this.

"Pffft, we're not trying to hurt each other! Just deciding who wants to die in the field more. Not a person here has made me 'angry' yet. I don't want to hurt this enthusiastic man..."

She pats him gently on the shoulder with her free hand while he's lost in admiration of his Patria. ...And for the first time, she smiles!

"Here, have some of my drink if you want. If we're too tense when we go out, we'll shoot our own feet!"

The drink's nearly gone, Antonia... She offers her glass regardless.

She.. really loosens up with a little alcohol.

Yup!

In which instance VIVA LA FRANCE We're so dead.

((Oh no! Please, keep RP'ing! I enjoy it! In fact, I'd also like to encourage the other participants to take part in RP as well!))

(( Davian Korran, Ozzo and AaronSofaer, your characters are up!))

8 March 2015

On the bright side, it's good to see the troops are starting to get along. On the other hand, there are three separate alien attacks, and as funny as it'll be, I probably shouldn't send these guys in drunk.

The decision was made to fly to France, mainly because Enjolras and Grantaire kept insisting, "Egypt and Argentina aren't real countries."

OPERATION HIDDEN SPARK



Unfortunately, as Enjolras and Anabanana are both still nursing injuries from their prior engagements before joining the XCOM project, Grantaire is our only vet. Landis seemed to be establishing a rapport with Frenchie, so I sent her along with Sofaer and Wakatsuki. Hopefully Grantaire will be able to keep the rookies safe from themselves aliens.



And we're off!
I had to get a few of the remaining rookies to restrain Enjolras to prevent him from boarding the Skyranger.



So aliens are abducting people in France. Our mission is simple; kill all Xrays (apparently that's what the rest of the team are now calling the aliens) and try not to die in the process.



Our first ever mission is in a graveyard at the dead of night. THAT'S NOT FUCKING OMINOUS OR ANYTHING



Landis spots a couple of outliers. Luckily, they haven't noticed us.

Not wanting to waste the opportunity, I ordered the team to open fire.









Sofaer and Wakatsuki rose to the occasion and punctured the two Xrays with the hot lead of earthen justice!



With the two lookouts down, the team advanced slowly when Wakatsuki heard a sound emanating from the northeast.





Shit! Looks like the Xrays had a surprise in store for us! Two more of the little grey bastards came out of hiding and ambushed the team!



Outmaneuvered, Wakatsuki finds himself pinned down by enemy fire.

I really hope he doesn't become the first casualty under my watch.

On the other hand, there's a 30 Rock rerun airing right now that I want to catch.

...

Ah screw it, he's a trained soldier. He can figure out how to not get shot in the face on his own. Besides, it's only a 20 minute show, minus commercials!

GRANTAIRE BABYSITTING ROOKIES. BRB, DYING OF LAUGHTER.

And he's probably drunk out of his brain missing Enjolras. Game, you so cruel.

The historian in me also loves how Grantaire and Enjolras would claim Argentina and Egypt aren't real places because 19th century France. It's all so beautiful ;w;

OPERATION HIDDEN SPARK (PART 2)



Just before I left to catch 30 Rock, I ordered Grantaire to snipe the Xray pinning down Wakatsuki.

He looked a little woozy from the booze, but as the team vet, I figured he'd be able to handle the shot.



1. I am never letting Grantaire so much as look at a bottle again.

2. Grantaire is fully liable to Sofaer for all anal surgery costs resulting from this mission.

Well, THAT is your fault for handing ME the precision-musket... thing. And if they can't move, they desherve that cannon ball in the face anyway! And you can't tell ME what to do, moustache-face! Only Enjolras gets to... when wash there two schopes...? Oh well! Nothing ventured, nothing... sprained. HEY, KIDDIE, DUCK!

(*crying with laughter* Did you make him a sniper hoping this would happen? Because it's amazing XD)

Oh god. That hair. That expression. That is PERFECT. Shooting aliens is my new dream career!

I am also...from Ireland? Hey, Ireland. Sure. I have friends there and all. Yay, Ireland!

I voted for Argentina, on the principle that easy missions mean getting better at fighting instead of succumbing immediately to horrible alien death, but, hey, France. Nice place, France. I'm all for other people lending them a hand.

(That hair! My god! I wish I could get my hair to fluoresce like that when I dye it.)

((I genuinely didn't! I just randomly named my characters and left it to the game to create these works of art :P))

((For some weird reason, the game let's you customize everything but sex and nationality, which unfortunately means that it's very hard to match the desired nationality with a character. And yeah, for a game that generally has realistic hair styles and colours, the random fluorescent hair is hilarious))

D'awwww the Xrays are shoooo cute with their slimy blood and big shimmery eyes why do we have to kill them ;A;

Also, goddamit Grantaire, isn't one bruised banana enough to sate your inexplicable desire to main your comrades?! We're going to have a looong talk when you get back to base. >:(

(In his defense, he's living in my head and fade's character, well... erm...

So, this is Leena. She's a half Zeltron soldier character I made for SW RP a while back. Made in EVE with some PS (file time stamp: February 20th 2011).

HOW DOES XCOM KNOW? That would mess with even my... incredibly poor... aim!)

Jeez, cover me! Otherwise you'll never taste my superior cooking. Have you seen the slop Sofaer calls food?

((pffffHAHAHAHA))

pfffffHAHAHAHA I have tried, commander, trust me.

I have no comment on not being able to fight for my own country, other than that if even death cannot hold me back from my fatherland then a few mere wounds are not a concern of mine.

Hey Enjolras, just how much alcohol did your buddy drink before the rest of us got here?

. o O (This is just like old times, keeping Canopus and Gildas from each other's throats.)

(Sadly, as potentially funny as our zany alien-fighting cross-over fandom could be, I must respectfully bow out of RP -- I just don't have the time I did five or ten years ago. I do hope you guys have fun! :D)

I have only seen him sober once, and not for long. Take that as you will.

OPERATION HIDDEN SPARK (PART 3)

Alright, I'm back! Let's just see how the team is holding up!



Sofaer bravely threw a grenade at the offending Xrays, hoping to get Wakatsuki out of the sticky spot he's in.

The grenade then proceeded to miss completely, blowing up some poor sap's gravestone and nothing else.





The hero of the moment was Landis, who managed to get the guy who was pinning down Wakatsuki with a few well placed shots to the head. Gotta say, for a girl who claims to have never handled a gun before, she's doing pretty well.



Taking advantage of the confusion caused by Landis's kill shot, the team wipe out the rest of the opposition forces.



And so our first ever sortie ends in a complete victory! Not a single injury, and a whole bunch of dead Xrays!

Good job me! And uh, the rest of you guys, I guess.



Please play whatever victory theme you deem most appropriate. Personally, I use this.



Our spoils of war. I bet Dr. Vahlen will be keen on examining those corpses.



And here's the team's report card! Everyone earned themselves a promotion! Except Grantaire. Despite his protests, I had to take a firm stance that friendly fire does not constitute merit to warrant a promotion, even when it's hilarious.

Once huh? I'll try to stay out of his line of fire then.

((So once a character has their class is it permanent or can you change it later? Also, I just noticed that Logan is the only one with a helmet so far. Does that make her the Carmine of this run? Wave goodbye guys, she probably won't be around for long. :D ))