Let's get brutally murdered by B-movie aliens in XCOM: Enemy Unknown!

((I actually gave her a helmet because I couldn't find the right shade of green for her hair and I thought the helmet looked badass. If you'd like, I can take her helmet off :) and yeah, classes are permenant))

((P.S. In this game, everyone is Carmine))

((That's okay, I rather like the helmet. :) And thanks for answering my question, I thought they were but I wasn't sure. ))

((Ah, but which Carmine? That is the question. ))

Nice shot back there. You really know how to handle that gun.

Aaron scowls. "I have long, greasy hair, a creepy half-smile, and a trenchcoat. By all rights and virtue I should have been a sniper, not a bloody Assault trooper." He hefts a shotgun off of the rack; his new weapon. "Well, they'd better get cracking on laser research for Scatter Lasers soon; these guns won't be ideal for very long."

So on the ride home, Toni's breathing hard, got itchy fingers, and crazy eyes.

"SO. I GUESS I JUST SAVED YOUR GUYS' LIVES. WHY AGAIN WAS I THE ONE DOING THINGS RIGHT OUT THERE?"

She grits her teeth and shudders.

"Why did I see them first? Of course I saw them first! AND FRNECHIE!"

She slaps Grantaire in the arm.

"WHAT. THE FUCK. You don't get to lead anybody ever again!"

So it is decreed.

She rubs her temples, looking like she needs another drink as soon as possible.

"For the love of god, somebody tell me what a 'heavy' is. What're you doing to me now?!"

Funny how science genius girl is KICKING ASS.

((I seriously had a bad feeling she'd die first mission. I am so proud right now.))

Aaron chuckles.

"Look, girl, it's simple. A Heavy has a bigass machinegun and big bulging ... muscles. Fill the air with bullets, and splatter aliens across the land. SCOPEs are handy."

(Grantaire, if you quip as much as one thing about not being able to miss an ass that size...)
Shaddap, voice, I'm shcikin... think.... thinking on a victory theme.
(You could apologize, you know. Just putting it out there.)
Bah, the guy is fine. The Japanese with the headphones probably won't be cooking for me anyway and I got hit by a girl.
(And?)¨
Redemption through penance! And I maintain 'really funny' is promotion merit.... and... any... way...
(What?)
I only really know one song...
(.... that is not a very pleased face you're making.)
Hey, lads? Drink with me.

Grantaire! You're back--

Ahem. I mean, you were clearly more useful when slung over a table. Shooting at our allies is not the way to create a democracy. Still, I suppose you should be commended for keeping yourself alive in such a sorry state.

<3

Tell you what, fearless leader, next time you go. Keeping France safe is no sane man's work, and I can't ever hear the bloody people sing. I'm sobering, I can hear the voice in my head again. How badly hurt are you, anyway? How... erm... long until you're... you... I mean... safer at... shouldn't go to... too... soon.

Why is the Banana looking so mad at me?

Badly enough to keep me from Patria, evidently. Do not think less of me for it.

And you can't? What about now?

9 March 2015

With a complete wipe of the enemy forces and no casualties on our part, XCOM's first sortie was an undisputed success. The air is different around the base now; people have got a spring in their step that wasn't present when I first arrived.

But the biggest change has been with the soldiers; Landis in particular seems to have opened up a whole lot more. Who would have guessed? All you need to cure social awkwardness is to kill an alien or two! Also, thanks to the two Frenchmen, the troops have really taken to singing. For the past two days, I've heard them burst out into the peppiest song I've ever heard attributed to "angry men."

Unfortunately, not everyone has been quite as pleased with how things turned out. By choosing to aid France, we had to ignore Argentina and Egypts' own requests for assistance. The various nations funding the XCOM project understand that we simply don't have the resources to respond to every threat, but that doesn't change the fact that unchecked alien activity has left the populace of the two countries a lot more worried about their safety.



The Situation Room shows how we're doing on a global scale. As can be seen, Argentina and Egypt's panic bar is higher and is coloured ominous yellow because we abandoned them in favour of France. Once a country's panic bar is full, it is that country will withdraw its support (and more importantly, financial backing), so uh, we should probably not let that happen.

Back to brighter things, Dr. Vahlen's research has been completed!





Our brightest minds have come together to create this masterpiece of modern science! Fusing the best of human and alien technology, we have invented...a scope...?

Really?? A SCOPE? God, this is what you got your PHD for!? TO MAKE A SCOPE
I knew I made the right decision to completely skip the med school phase of my medical career.

...but yeah, so we have a scope. It helps our troops aim better. It also taught me an important lesson; make sure to reduce the scientists' salaries.

Thanks to our performance in the previous mission, the top brass has decided to promote our three rookies and assign them a specialization.



Landis has been assigned as a Heavy. She's been supplied with a rocket launcher and a light machinegun, and is to be put unto an immediate diet of steroids and icecream laced with steriods.





Sofaer and Wakatsuki have both been assigned as Assaults. I heard that Sofaer wasn't too keen on that decision, but eh, I'm sure he'll figure out how to snipe with a shotgun. Anyway, both these guys will now serve as our vanguards and have been equipped with shotguns for close range combat.

Oh, and Dr. Vahlen wants me to pick out a new research project. Hopefully this one will actually result in something that wasn't invented over a century ago.
((I'm going to put the three available options in separate posts. Please like whichever project you think is best. You can also vote on multiple projects.))

Red! The blood of angry men!
Black! The dark of ages...

... I wasn't singing. Projects? That xeno-stuff sounds like something you can drink. Is it good to drink? Bah, I don't care. And don't tell Enjolras I was singing, because I wasn't.

... what's a 'scope'?

We should attempt to learn from our enemies. If their devices could revolutionize combat it is vital we can use it against them, as well.

Red! A world about to dawn!
Black! The night that ends at last!

You just like it because it has the word 'revolution' in it, don't you? Do I have to remind you what happened last time we tried to revolutionize?

And what does France have now? A democracy. QED.

....
.......
...........

We got shot. Multiple times. In the face. And a basement. That, that is what happened. I will never understand why that part doesn't seem to matter to you.

I need a drink.

Ahem.

... I was sober. That doesn't count. That doesn't count!

You should be sober more often. It suits you.

I... suit... I... thank you...

... Maybe it's that you should be drunk more often. It did wonders for that red-headed kid. I mean we... all came back alive and everything. I'm sure that Sofaer guy will be able to sit in three week's time and all.

*tries to hit LIKE five times on the second option*

...what? I'm in favor of lightweight high-tech alien-tech body armor. I like not dying! I've done that very successfully so far!

Now is this full body armor, or does it protect certain regions better than others? Customization may be essential.

Yeah. I mean, someone is apparently in love with my ass.

Did someone say experimental warfare? Oho! This is clearly our best option! Victory through superior technology, and more importantly, firepower! Because there's nothing I like more than firing a missile at someone from half a contininet away, while I sip a daiquiri infront of the pool. Because we must protect our soldiers on the frontlines, gentlemen, and the best defense is offense!

9 March 2015

The soldiers seemed rather keen on the Experimental Warfare project, so I set Vahlen's team to focus on adapting alien technology for our own uses. Hopefully she comes up with something slightly more advanced than a scope, this time.



Unfortunately, there's no rest for the wicked; our satellites have picked up a UFO flying over the skies of Nigeria.



Luckily, we've got interceptors stationed nearby, so let's take that Xray down!



Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



You know, for a top secret organization consisting of the best and brightest of humanity and equipped with state of the art technology, our interface is strangely retro. And videogamy.



Luckily, our interceptor managed to bring the UFO down despite sustaining heavy damage itself. However, the UFO remained largely intact.

Central Officer Bradford recommended that we send a strike team to the crash site. Yeah, thanks Bradford, you wanna tell me to do more things I've already figured out?



For this mission, I wanted a well balanced team to tackle the alien ship. We've never breached a UFO before, so I'd like us to be prepared for any eventuality. Enjolras and Banana are back in top condition, so they'll be filling the roles of Support and Assault respectively. I also wanted to give Landis a break after her last mission, but unfortunately, as our only Heavy, she's going to have to be fielded again. Dee will be the sole rookie on the team, but hopefully her zombie and plant killing experience will help her catch up quickly.

...wait, something isn't right here.



Who the hell are you? You're not Anabanana!

Actually, I am.

You look nothing like her!

Oh yeah, funny thing about that. You see, I am not a person. My body, of which I have many, is just a flesh vessel for an immortal being whose name, if you've heard it, would make you lose your mind.

...Great. Can you still shoot a gun.

Yup.

Fantastic, get in the Skyranger then.

Hey now, last time I saw that plant he was fine! Okay, so admittedly I lost track of him at some point, but as far as I know he's fine. The zombies I totally killed though.

Do I know you from somewhere, Banana? Your voice sounds awfully familiar...

Upon returning home, Landis's mild buzz has LONG worn off and she's looking like lava cooled over again. Which is to say, stiff and cranky. Halting, harsh speech si back in force, and som elunatic decided she shoul dbe given a rocket launcher.

Actually, better her than the others, really.

"Your French is safe at the expense of two other countries!

Now shut up about it."

"It's the thing that keeps you from shooting your allies in the ass.

Learn to hold your liquor, Frenchie."

"Speaking of being protected, I saved your ass from sweet alien probe lovin'.

I expect cake in gratitude."

"I'm ok with this, in theory...

It's funny when they explode."

"LESS OK WITH THIS."

"I'm fine, so long as you don't reverse my gender with heavy steroids.

I don't particularly want to leave the rookie completely alone with an untested team anyway.

After the last mission, I don't know what to expect, especially from commanding officers."

Ha, she's got a soft spot for Dee since she was kind to her before the first mission!

"This is what I'm fighting for.

When does this happen?

I could really go for a daiquiri, and some explosons far away from my face..."

(*Smirk*)

Landis, I liked you better when you were drunk. Or maybe when I was drunker. I get those mixed up a bit. And anyway, gentlemen, look at it this way: I could have misaimed at your heads instead, because... cause... nonna us wear helmets, you know. Well, except that creepy lady banana who sheems to know about that police spy... it's harder to fight without a brain than an ass. Even harder to fight without your hands, though... speaking of brainless...

Just go in peace and all that, and try not to wave any flags on top of any barricades, will you?

"One glass of scotch does not get one drunk.

And if you're so sure you've done no wrong, perhaps I'll shoot your ass to demonstrate.

Might be fun target practice with my new rocket..."

You can't fight to well if you're exploded, either. Oh dear.

"You've had enough.

You can't even tell the female officers apart.

Dee wears the helmet.

Banana.. Is a metamorph.

Now I'm going to confiscate your alcohol before flying to Nigeria.

Be good and don't put up a fight."

(('Banana is a metamorph' is not a sentence I ever thought I'd write. And now that pit feeling in my stomach of fear is back that Landis will slip up this time and die. Every mission's going to be hell on me.))

"One glass of scotch does not get one drunk.

And if you're so sure you've done no wrong, perhaps I'll shoot your ass to demonstrate.

Might be fun target practice with my new rocket..."

You can't fight to well if you're exploded, either. Oh dear.

"You've had enough.

You can't even tell the female officers apart.

Dee wears the helmet.

Banana.. Is a metamorph.

Now I'm going to confiscate your alcohol before flying to Nigeria.

Be good and don't put up a fight."

(('Banana is a metamorph' is not a sentence I ever thought I'd write. And now that pit feeling in my stomach of fear is back that Landis will slip up this time and die. Every mission's going to be hell on me.))

You're a right funny kid. I suppose I can share if you all need a pick-me-up, but good luck getting Enjolras on board with that. He's very... he never...

*sigh*

Know what? Say and do whatever you want, just don't die. And if he tries to throw himself into danger, and he probably will, just do me a favour and pin him down, will you? I heard you're heavier now, whatever the blazes that means. If you're really good, I might even be close to sober when you get back. Now, 'cuse me. I need to find a new bottle.

*Grantaire walks aside and sits on his bunk*

So, Lord on high. Don't believe in you. Never will. Enjolras will even less so, but on the off chance you're actually here and isn't just in stitchs over your newest mayhem, you know what? Thy will be done and all, and I know my life isn't worth much, but let me just put it out, like that geezer did on Rue de Vilette. If I die, just leave me. If they die... bring them home. You can probably o as much. Net worth should about even out. Landis is a pain in the rear, though probably not as I am, but I'd rather she remained one sooner than stopped. Not sure what to make of the banana lady, but I venture a guess you'd be too scared to take her to your side anyway. Logan's been through enough and... Enjolras you took away once. At least let him do something that matters this time. At least let him...

Bah. Must have left a proper drink somewhere.

Toni's face softens a bit and she nods to him gently.

"I'd rather nobody dies out there, but especially not my comrades when it could be me.

Or better yet, an enemy.

I'll be watching over Idealist Frenchman, I promise.

...Try not to worry yourself to death, we'll all be home before you know it."

Her face twitches and cracks sober this time as one last detail,

" 'I heard you've gotten heavier' is not something you ever say to a woman!

Ignorant."

She takes a drag straight from whatever bottle she removed from Grantaire at that.

Grantaire... If I don't come back from this alive...

Keep the faith. As certain as our banner flew, we are not alone.

As a bit of color returns to her cheeks from the alcohol she stole from Grantaire, he speech rapidly becomes less uptight and stilted. this allows her to work on morale again.

"Dammit, what is with the French and this mentality that you're going to lose going in?! No wonder you guys never win any wars! What did I teach you about war philosophy, hmm?"

She punches Enjorlas lightly in the arm to demand his attention.

"You're coming back alive, if for no other reason than that your wife is worried sick over you! Save the dying for those of us no one's waiting for. Chin up, and focus out there!"

She points to the screen with mission details again.

"We struck first this time, the enemy is in chaos. We have an advantage of sorts! Stay positive."

She nods firmly at this.

((That's XCOM, baby! =P))

Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning



As this is XCOM's first ever attempt to breach an alien UFO, we'll be going into unknown territory here. Our objectives are to clear out any surviving Xrays and retrieve any alien technology left intact. Oh, and also, not die.



Touching down...





Landis's game face is...regrettable, but you can't fault her for her enthusiasm.



Jesus christ, it's like fucking alien policy to always be at the creepiest possible location! Can't they just invade a classy restaurant or something?



Despite being a top secret, multinational operation, no one remembered to supply XCOM with night vission goggles.



Advancing slowly through the dark forest, we eventually came across a group of four Xrays.

Dr. Vahlen and her team have labelled this species, 'Sectoids,' and believe they are likely a slave race of the invading alien forces. Despite their weak physical frames however, they appear to have advanced neurological development, suggesting they might have some level of psionic ability.



Unfortunately, a lookout spotted our team as we approached, giving him and the others enough time to get into cover.





This is less than great. With aliens on both the left and right of our team, we can well be flanked if they play their cards right. As the vanguard, Banana is in particular danger of getting alien sandwiched.





Wanting to avoid the possibility, I order Banana and Dee to open fire on the surrounding Xrays. Unfortunately, the darkness and the fact that the aliens are well positioned prevent either of them from scoring any hits. Meanwhile, Landis and Enjolras are too far back to open fire and can only take up position behind Banana and Dee.



Remember when I said Sectoids may have psionic abilities? This is probably it. Apparently, these little buggers are able to psinically link minds. The linkee is then granted additional combat abilities. On the flip side however, killing the one who established the link will also kill the recipient.



The empowered Sectoid makes his way to Dee, blasting through her cover and seriously wounding her in the process. She's still hanging on, but if another alien takes a shot at her, I fear for her chances...



As if on cue, another one of the alien bastards makes his way towards Dee. Luckily, he failed to spot Landis and Enjolras nearby, who opened simultaneous fire on his gray ass, downing him ((ignore the 'Missed!' sign, that was from Enjolras. Landis totally got him.))



Given how much stronger the empowered Sectoid is, the best way to deal with him was to kill his benefactor. As an Assault soldier, Enjolras has the ability to sprint long distances to close gaps and shotgun aliens in the face, which is exactly what he does!



And as a bonus, that other guy dies as well!



Ok troops, big decision here. Dee is hurt pretty bad; she might survive a graze, but a solid hit is going to down her permanently. Unfortunately, we only have one single use med kit on hand, and haven't even established a visual on the alien ship yet. We can heal her now, but be bereft of a med kit for the rest of the mission, or we can take the risk and conserve the kit. Your choice.

It is not the mentality that we are going to lose. It is merely the truth that our lives are less important than the cause we are fighting for, that we must be prepared to give up even our lives in the pursuit of our goals, and that even if we should fall in battle our spirit--

ETA: I do not wish to put the life of such a respectable woman in danger. Heal her.

(Aaaaww, Enjy... And I can believe XCOM takes place in the same world as Zafehouse. "Night vision goggles?! NOT FOR SOLDIERS WHO'S RACE 1. Disgusting Race 1'ers." It's like they take aliens as seriously as they did zombies.)