Let's Play Euro Truck Simulator 2!

It wouldn't surprise me. Accidental euphemism is something I do a lot.

Quite possibly she will find herself in Poland and the rest of her rig in the Sudetenland after a poorly timed road crossing, if you're going to haul explosives!

Unfortunately no explosives showed up for my next run. I'll be hauling a load of potatoes or something similiar.

I'm sure Von Karma can figure out how to make potatoes into explosives.

Or maybe just booze, that's fine too.

THIS! I just can't even control myself...
Did you buy the game or you downloaded it? I want to play it! :D and maybe show you all my advances...

It was on sale last weekend for $12 at Green Man Gaming. Download the demo as it is quite huge.

Time to pick a new job. Unfortunately there are no explosives to be had at either Erfurt or Nuremburg. We've goes eyes on both those cities and can see mostly food hauls. I guess Von Karma will continue with a food based money making strategy. I'll be hauling a load of sugar to Dresden. Gets me closer to Poland at least.



This time I'll be a good driver. I've got to be.



Took my time getting out of the yard and have even been following traffic rules.



Nary a fellow citizen will be dealing with insurance today!



It's going so well.



Wait? Did I miss the turn? I missed the turn didn't I!



Goddammit. I'm lost and it's raining.

I'm back on the road. Thanks to satnav and my eventual figuring out of the wipers we've got this rig pointed towards Dresden!



Of course I'm still running into the railings with regularity.



Once I'm on the direct route to Dresden Von Karma's Express gets to speed. With speeds of 110 km/h and above we weave in and out of traffic. It becomes a minor miracle when we avoid two semis during a long turn.



Still not halfway to Dresden it looks like the truck needs an infusion of gas. Time to turn in.



Keep on target. Keep on target!



Finally! I've done something right on the first try. Still it looks like gas is quite expensive here in Europe. Thankfully my employer is paying for all this.

Don't we all? I mean, that's what they're there for, right?

Refueled and back on the road. Lets get to Dresden!



Apparently when all the other cars start turning their lights on it is a good idea to do so as well. That lesson was only learned after losing 150 euros for a headlight infraction.



That issue aside I'm making good time. Sure I'm bashing into guardrails with regularity, but that doesn't matter.



Look at the beautiful scenery of Saxony! Dresden is a mere 17 kilometers away.



Getting very close now and you can see one of the new mods I've installed. It improves lights for the nigh portion of the game. Nice warm yellow street lights.



Dresden!



And my destination! I'd say that was a job well done. I even filled up the truck for them.



Wait? What!

FUCK!

My driving teacher insisted otherwise. I insisted he was a sissy.

Maybe that's why it took me a full year to get my license.

I.. uhh.. I guess that sliding along the guard rails is a faux pas in trucking.

At least the negative experience doesn't subtract from what you have already earned.

And why the proficiency bonus?

Half the fun is not knowing.

Jadzia as your avatar makes everything you post as a one-liner golden to me.

My money's on the bonus being for consistency.

(And be careful. Austrians, anyway, take traffic light violations reeeaaaaally seriously. My dad got pulled over once after running over for yellow light and got a lengthy lecture about how it was a SERIOUS offense.))

How did you guess we were going to Austria?

Life experience. After summer and summer and summer on the Autobahn I automatically expect to end up in Austria shortly after being in Southern Germany!

(Because when we leave Austria going in the opposite direction it's usually 6 in the morning and I am asleep)

Because Austria will be the first to be annexed?

... mum, you are a genius and I am ashamed I didn't think of that answer.

My plan exposed!

Though there is a route available into Poland I'm going south to Wien (Vienna) instead. It is a long route. Far longer than anything I've run before. Also it'll be a night cap. It'll probably take more than half an hour to do. It'll also take us through the Sudetenland and into the heart of Austria.



Setting out. This time I remember to turn the lights on. At least we've gotten out of Dresden with some light left in the sky.



The light doesn't last long. Within only a few minutes all sunlight has vanished and Von Karma is forced to turn the high beams on. This is the moment when the boring, deary, and ultimately perilous drive begins.

At least the Austrians will be SO PLEASED to see you. If you were allowed to wear the uniform this time.

Less than half an hour into the ordeal I'm forced to turn in for gas. My contractor has given me a rig nearly empty of gas.



Damn near 1,000 euros to fill her up. Over 650 litres of diesel!



There is a short lineup to get back on the autobahn. For almost a minute I'm forced to sit first in line waiting for the moment.



Eventually a spot opened up and Von Karma's Express was back on. This tunnel was an early highlight while we were still in Germany. Seems there is some construction during the day and they left the warning cones out to scare me half to death.



Now passing the only rest stop along the autobahn. Had I checked what my window was I may have had the opportunity to get a quick nap. At nearly midnight it looks like our delivery might now be finished until 5 am!

W-wait, are you on Fernpass Strasse? (I don't have a German keyboard, I can't do the Eszett)

WELL, at least it's night. Zugspitze's very pretty at sunset, though.

Soon after this realization we were officially past the Sudetenland. Praha was right in front of us and we could look forward to the drive through the rest of the Czech Republic.



At this moment I was assaulted by a traffic circle.



Traffic circles make me nauseous.



Finally past the traffic circle. As you can see from my mirror a lucky motorist avoided by deathtrap driving.



Getting back on the road we begin a long trek through a built up region just south of Praha. Traffic increases dramatically.



Eventually that clears up and by 1 am we are speeding through the rural parts of central Bohemia, the moon rising at our backs.

By 1:30 am traffic picks up again. It appears as though we are approaching the second largest city in the Czech Republic - Brno. Still almost 200 kilometers to go. This is getting a little tiring.



Luckily we don't go straight through Brno. We pass near it before making our turn towards Wien. I'm still loving those yellow street lights.



I can tell that Von Karma is getting tired. Her rest bar on the satnav is getting higher. The moon beckons us to sleep!



Getting near the border to Austria I get sloppy and run a red light. Bah!

At least you weren't actually IN Austria. Considering how seriously they take missing a yellow light I assume missing the red is death by firing squad.

What? Where are the cops? That's not fair, you should be allowed to run a few red lights on your way to glorious conquest.

Less than 100 kilometers to go now. I can almost taste victory! So far I've hit nary a thing.



Then I run into this red bus. You can see it in the previous picture as well. Every time I started getting enough speed it slowed down. Then I'd be forced to slow down. It would then speed up. Taunting me. Damned red bus.



Dammit.



In all my haste to pass that damned bus I let my gaze wander to check my rear mirror. Von Karma's Express drifted into the other lane. The result are not great.



Get out of the way. I have a delivery to make!

Nothing happened. Nobody inform the cops.



4:00 am. 22 kilometers to go. At this point sleep is desperately needed. Von Karma's eyes are visibly shutting on occasion obscuring the road.



The moon is going down and the sun is coming up. The night cap is almost over and I've barely killed anyone.



Finally! Wien. It is time for Von Karma to conquer Austria for the greater glory of Pan-Germanic trucking!



Doh.



Evidently the Austrian inspectors have overlooked most of my faults. Von Karma is now almost 5,000 euros richer. At some point in the near future she might even level up. For now I'll be playing more trucking in Austria. Need to get the Von Karma name out there.

Be sure to update us on how they like them apples.

Why's part of your experience bar yellow? I never noticed that before.

The tiny manual tells me nothing about that. So once again - mystery.

Presumably the experience you gained before this mission?

Or perhaps the experience they're holding out on you until they confirm your driving record with the local police.

I've got over 7,000 euros in the bank. I'm going to add another 100,000 by taking a 35 day loan. I'll have a daily payment of almost 3,000 euros for over a month. But I'll have a truck.



I'm playing a game with a loan window.



With 107,000 euros Von Karma's Express has enough money to buy a good German truck.



The MAN TGX XL will be our first truck. It doesn't have a great engine to start with. That can be improved in the future. I think it has a good sized fuel tank though. In total it can take on 1250 litres of diesel. The only real cosmetic change I do to the stock vehicle is to add a light bar and some totally awesome lights to it.



Having been transported to the dealership and then back to our headquarters in Nuremburg we finally have a chance to get some sleep. Von Karma looks to be close to dropping by now.



And then she sleeps until almost 6 pm. Guess night driving is the order for today.



Before we find a contract there is a notice telling me that I can buy a personalized plate the next time I visit the dealership. What could we possibly pick for the plate.

4THREICH or DANGER

I'd like to second 4THREICH.

I hate to say this, but I live half an hour away from Erfurt and am there for shopping or cinema quite often. ...could you please not blow it up ? Thanks !

After getting some rest Von Karma's Express has a mere 1,600 euros left. The first installment of our loan came due so we need to get out there and make some money. I've selected a route which will take us south back into Austria. It's a delivery of peas from Nuremburg to Salzburg. Not too long of a route this time.



Since I'm signing up for a job with my own truck I'll need to drive to the pick-up location. That means anther 2 kilometers of potential traffic accidents.



I make it to the yard without incident. Don't want to scratch my new ride.



No. Not parking.



Wait. I'm doing it.



Almost there.



A few more inches.



Yay! I've connected a trailer!

Well time to get to Salzburg. Times a wastin'.



I'm waiting patiently for a break in traffic when this friendly fellow stop and flashes his lights. Lets me into traffic. What a nice chap.



Guess we've formed a convoy eh?



Maybe we'll be trucking buddies forever.



Maybe not. Goodbye friend!

Better not injure the new truck. Damage will probably cost a fortune and I barely have anything.



Eventually Von Karma claws her way onto the autobahn towards Austria. Less than 300 kilometers to go.



Soon the sky darkens and the rain begins. Visibility has dropped drastically forcing me to turn on the lights and deploy the wipers. The latter is the hardest thing to do. I had forgotten for a bit how to turn them on.



High speed and slippery conditions almost do me in. First we hit the rails and then we sideswipe a car.



Then the Von Karma Express hits the other railing.