Let's play Fatal Hearts - Because there aren't vampires enough these days

Note to self: watch relevant video when able to.

It's ok, we know you're too nice to have meant that seriously.

I really did not expect Lucy to make that comeback. I guess the running-away-from-home thing is what did it, if a rich, spoiled brat wanna run away, you know things are really bad. Also Chris being kinda 'uh huh, uh huh, so give us what we need and then buzz off" might have something to do with it - I totally expected her to go all "oh you poor baby!".

Chris' reaction IS a bit weird when she spent nearly the entire game worrying, really. She can't even have caught some Action Girl off the riem because she was worrying after wearing it.

It took me an embarrassing amount of time to get this one, but when I did, I lol'd.

Poor Lucy. It's been what, two days? without hearing from Chris, and by the time they meet again, Lucy's parents being cultists that sacrifice virgins to vampires is old news.

First thing in the list is a towel? Next thing she'll tell everybody to not panic. But Lizzy is surprisingly clever and organized, I rather like her.

Being that Chris has shown to be pretty self-centered in the past (not like, in an evil way, but in that typical way that some teenagers have in which they can't really consider anything except what they are personally feeling right now) I can actually see it. I bet she'll have a moment in which she talks about how much she'll miss Lucy later on, but won't still think of how Lucy must feel. It's just her way of coping with things.

1) hahaha, Lizzy should remember to take sandwiched too, otherwise the beer will dehydrate her /effing game
2) Lizzy is very quick to help when it comes to kicking Lucy outta town.
3) Honestly tho, couldn't Lucy figure out anything herself? At least bring your toothbrush or something, it's not like you're running from a burning building.

Spoiled brat, remember? Lucy didn't even think about carrying whatever normal cash she could find around the house (in general, not having normal cash on hand and relying only on credit cards is something incredibly weird to me, but I think it's an American thing). Plus she might fear that her parents will catch her while she's packing her stuff or something. Or figure out she's running away before she can get out of town. She's probably panicking.

I think the cash thing is cultural though - I've basically had no cash on me, ever, for the last 10 years unless I had a very specific reason for it.

But yeah, definitly panicking.

I only use my credit card in emergencies, since it's my parents' money. For everything else, I use my own money.

I always have money on me just in case (and then my brother takes them whenever he needs cash and pays me back digitally, so yeah), but I mostly use my card for paying.

Towels are important. That's what says the Hitchhicker's guide.

And Lucy's kinda mad right now. I don't blame her for not thinking straight, she just found out her parents are murderers.

I can't carry cash on myself as a general rule. I'm a soft touch and I usually end up giving it all to someone who needs it more. So I use my card for everything.

I don't ever give money to beggars 'cause most of them spend it with alcohol or drugs. When I donate something, it's clothes or food.

Nobody really pays them in Denmark. The theory Wolfe put up was that because we have universal welfare we figure, and mostly figure correct, that taxes paid already cover it so we have no personal responsbilities,

Granted, Wolfe is not a very popular man with other welfare theorists who think universel welfare is sparkly and awesome (and let's face it; my getting PAID for attending school is pretty rad)

I'm gullible and really easy to pan-handle because I like helping people. I've bought a lot of homeless people lunch.

That is so rad. It's so rad I can't even.

I actually agree with that theory - giving beggars money might be humane and charitable, but it also enabling them to stay on the street. Sure, some have no there choice, but some just do, but it's easier living this way then facing "the real world". Call my a cynic, but that's how I see it.

I get payed to be in an English course. Because my language skills are apparently not adequate. Ouch.

Also! Jack's LP of reading Under Grand hotel: the plot is a kinda like Naruto, only with rape instead of people coming back to life. Its like every new story line must begin with a rape, then raper getting fucked up (hurr), then happy sex!
It's really funny. Good read if you're looking for porn, and kinda like a tuned-down Enzai. But with less plot and underage kids and more rape (that's right, I said it. There's more rape then in Enzai. I did not think it's mathematically possible).

Have any of you read that new Crossfire novel series? People say it's like a well-written 50 Shades. I've only read a small scene of it, the language was really better, but I can't judge it by that.

I'm going to work in a couple of hours, I'll have time to read it then. To be honest, erotic literature isn't my area of expertise, but I'll give it my best perv-review (with a score of one to five climaxes!)

The tradeoff is IF I get a job, 50% of what I earn on the average goes to taxes. In return I can use a doctor as much as I like for free, hospital treatment, school, high school, university, paid for except for my books, there's financial monthly payouts students over 18, families with children, the elderly, whichever. As a result Denmark is a country consisting of a lot of middle-class, and we're allegedly the happiest people in the world.

I never heard of Crossfire.

Will you tell us your adventures?

I'n the thick of things as we speak. I'm impressed, but not really in a good way. TBC.

Excellent, then I shall remain on my floor assembling a 2000 piece jigsaw. Wherein I have assembled the lake and the hut leaving me GRASS and SKY. I have the best ideas.

What did you read for now? In comparison to what I say about 50 Shades of Terrible, is it better, worse or in the same level?

I've only read the first few chapters. So far, this is like Devil Wears Prada with more adjectives and ridiculous romance-coincidences. Our heroine is rather normal, practically likable. And then she suddenly isn't, because "oh my god he's so hot I'm gonna act like a moron because I'm mentally 14!". Think Charlotte in Sex and The City. I don't know why is it women in romance novels cannot handle sexual attraction at all. Seriously, I don't think meeting someone sexy merits losing all strength in your legs and falling on your ass, unless your a tween and the men is some teen idol. Just, why, she seems perfectly normal, so why?

The writing is typical women lit/romance novel, all the usual similes and metaphors. The writing flows quite well, expect when it goes into "kyaaa he's so sexy I must describe him with as many adj. as possible, just let me get my thesaurus!" . So deffo better then the horror that is 50 Shades. Still it's quite impressive watching the narrative switch from "nomal chick book about a gal in the city" to "EROTICA". It's like it's been written by two different people.

Definitely a book that would have been better for a sterner editor. But I'm only in the beginning, so we'll see where it's going, perhaps the plot will tighten up.

Anastasia was dumb since the very beggining. One thing that annoys me is that she was supposed to be so innocent and inexperient when it comes to sex, but she only thinks about it all the time, even before she lost her virginity. That's not innocence for me, only lack of experience. She's much less pure than most non-virgins I know.

...Hmm, not getting all the Lucy-hate, to be honest. I've read around the first ten pages and the last two...is it possible someone can fill me in on what happens?

Also are we definitely going for Tim? This LP is interesting but I kind of wanted to

Lucy-hate is because she has been a bitch for the last 10 pages or such. She isn't anymore.
And yep, we don't have the chance to date Lucy anymore, but I'll do another playthrough, so maybe you can have some luck by then.

My adventures reading 50 Shades of Grey (Part 17):

Chapter 20. He takes her to the boathouse, she begs him not to spank her and start touching his face and hair, and he look at her with worry in his eyes because poor thing, he was such an abused person.
Then he says he wanted to spank her 'cause she didn't let him harass her in the diner table right in front of everybody. WHAT. THE. FUCK? I mean... Just... WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS THIS? IS IT REALLY A PERSON?
"I want you, and I want you now. And if you will not let me give you a spanking... which you deserve... I'll fuck you in this couch right at this minute, quickly, for my pleasure, not yours."

He's the worst person I've ever read about.
Then he says (again) she must not cum, or he'll spank her. We can all guess he will spank her, 'cause she always have, like, 10 consecutive orgasms at each chapter.
Then the most quick and rape-like sex scene I've read in this book for now, and for a goddamn miracle she didn't climax.
One thing that's really troubling me is that she didn't sign the S&M contract, only the keep-silent one, and he already charges her to act like the BDSM contract says she must.
Then they go home, and in the car, Anastasia says she's reconsidering if she'll really sign the contract, and he asks why. She only says she "wants more", meaning love, and then she attacks him like a hippo with toothache, kiss him and decides she will sign the fucking contract.
They get home and Grey takes her to the bedroom to fuck yet again. Then this happen:
"I do what he asks, and in a incredibly fast move, he takes my dress as a magician, catching it on the hem and pulling it smoothly and quickly through my head.
- Ta Da! - He said playfully."
What the fuck? His mood changes like a model changes it's clothes during a fashion show.
Then she says she doesn't want to fuck, she wants to make love, and that she wants to touch him. He gets frightened. He's weird.
He does a deal with her. He'll put two strange silver balls inside her, slap her in a non-hurting way, and fuck her. If she's awake after this, he'll tell her a little about his past.
Then they do this, and Grey tells her his mother was a crack whore. And that she died. Wow, surprising.

Jewel sentences:

• "My goddess nods agreeing, a satisfied smile on her face..."
• "My goddess raises her head above the parapet."
• "My goddess pouts for me, failing miserably at hiding her disappointment."
• "My subconscious is furious, like Medusa in her anger, her hair flying, her hands tightening around her face like The Scream by Edvard Munch." ............. I don't even know what to say about this one.
• "Anastasia, I told you. Fifty Shades."
• "My goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils." Please, just die.

I think I have the nerve to another one. My masochism is becoming chronic.

If I write in references to art and culture the character will seem smart, right? That's how it works. Smart like Odysseus when he made that wooden horse!

You just reminded me of a good book I've read not too long ago. It's name in Portuguese was O Incêndio de Tróia (The Trojan Fire or something) and it was about this Trojan Horse war, but narrated by a Trojan woman, and man, A LOT of bad stuff happen to her and everyone she knows, I had to hold myself not to cry, since I was in the library. It's a nice book though.

I think at this point any measure of solace literature is a good idea, tear-inducing as might be.

DOES people think like that? I mean, I can think my subject matter into news items, but I wouldn't start putting Schumpeter into grocery considerations or the likes. You could achieve the same with less pompous BS by saying she is like Medusa and is holding her head.

Yeah, mixing Medusa with The Scream AND ridiculous subconscious was the worst thing possible.

Chapter 21. She wakes up, there's a beautiful blonde maid at the living room, and she finds Christian at his office. Then he fucks her atop the office's table. Can't they see each other without fucking for one single chapter? Only one?
These sex scenes are so frequent and repetitive I don't feel anything anymore. It's as sexually exciting as reading a didactic book. The only thing I've been feeling is WTF sensations when nonsense happens, and fear with Grey being scary.
He orders her to eat again.
Then she goes to her job interview, and nothing interesting happens.
She goes back to her apartment, and nothing interesting happens.
She trade e-mails with Christian, and nothing interesting happens.
Then she embark on the airplane to see her mom, and besides finding out Grey promoted her to first class, nothing interesting happens.
What an interesting chapter.

Jewel sentences:

• "My goddess looks at me scowling, desperate."
• "(...) he waits, staring out the window, master of the universe, staring at the little people below your castle in the sky." Now we have the original fanfic's title drop. Just awesome.
• "No, my goddess grimaces at me, he's not too much beautiful to me."
• "Oh Mr. Scout." What? What is this, I don't even... Was she referring to his penis?
• "I scream a speechless plea as I touch the sun and get burned, (...)" This was an orgasm description, guys.
• "He has no idea, and my goddess is still basking in the remaining post-fuck glow." When we think the inner goddess' references can't get worse...
• "Aff! Why's everyone reminding me of my favorite Fifty shades?"
• "Kate looks at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes as well as my subconscious... all she needs is the half-moon glasses." ONLY. DUMBLEDORE. CAN. WEAR. THOSE.

I think we all need some of this now:

What the fuck did I just watch?

I guess I won't have time to play today, sorry. I'll do it tomorrow, if I don't travel. And I probably won't, since the possibility to rain is high.

The Star Wars Holiday Special.

Possibly better known as the worst thing ever aired on TV.

I've seen the whole thing like four times. Sober. I keep subjecting friends to it just to watch their faces.

Oh, I bet some famous programs here in Brazil are way worse than this.

I think I dreamt I read Fifty Shades. I remember saying to someone it was better than I feared, but they could have removed all the sex chapters and focused more on the side plot of Anastasia fighting dragons with a gigantiv shiv while Christian was wearing a dress.

I have weird dreams.

That sounds like an awesome dream.

I had a dream the other day that I was playing otome games. Seriously.

I dare say that the comparison with The Scream is very appropriate.



I mean look at it! Isn't that the expression any sane human would get reading this book?

I once dreamed that a mysterious stranger blew up my classroom and we were all rushing to save our bags instead of running far far away and it involved a soldier diving out of the explosion to save a pineapple. Then I posted it on facebook including saying 'LOL' to the explosion. Well, I suppose that's not a good measure of my sanity...