Let's Play "In Your Arms Tonight"...because...you know...

............................. I realize that in the flirting department, I'd probably terrify the Japanese because half the people I talk to here think I'm hitting on them when I'm not. They'd hate me.

Edit:

THIS SO MUCH. SUDDENLY, SENSE IS MADE.

I understand where Lysa's coming from perfectly. I feel incredibly guilty when I end up getting the best of two options, especially when I'm a guest at someone's house. Her offer to take on the couch is simply an extension of that guilt: She feels she's intruding.

Really, I think it's just because she's Japanese. You have to understand, in Japan it's not even polite to accept a compliment without saying no a few times first and then only accepting it begrudgingly. This also applies to when someone from outside your "in-group" compliments someone in your "in-group." You see, unlike cultures like America, where individuality and your own needs are important, Japan is a society that is based around groups. Everyone in your life is played in groups. There might be your friends, your co-workers, your family, etc. How you treat people depends on their status compared to yours (are they older or younger than you? are they higher or lower in your company than you? have they been at the company longer than you?) and how they relate to you and your in-groups. How you act toward your family when you are alone with them and how you talk about them when you are talking to someone who isn't in your family is very different. Even if someone compliments your daughter by saying she is very cute, you are supposed to deny it because that person is outside your in-group. It doesn't matter if you think your daughter is the cutest child in the whole entire world, saying so isn't considered polite. (This leads to a funny but slightly sad story about one of my Japanese teachers, who is from Japan but lives in America. She took her daughter back to Japan to visit when she was young and had to do this. Since her daughter had been raised in America, she didn't understand this part of Japanese culture and started crying because she thought her mom didn't think she was cute and my Japanese teacher had to explain that this wasn't the case at all.)

So Lysa's situation with Ebihara is not just complicated by the fact that Lysa is still married, but because Lysa is below Ebi in the company they work for. I could see this going some very bad places because of the hierarchical structure of Japanese society and I'm really hoping that Ebi-chan is enough of a gentleman than it won't because I'm uncomfortable enough with this whole thing as it is.

...Well that explains a lot. I always took it that Japanese culture was heavily rooted in rules and respect, but my idea of it was actually very vague.
From a few manga I've read, I noticed the pattern of 'shower before/after sex', and figured it was just A Thing Japanese Do which I actually think is rather hygienic but ahaha it's a bit demanding as well.
Not to mention the whole active/passive roles that are always present in romances...
...Wow, suddenly many scenes from Ouran make a lot more sense. In fact, thinking about it, Haruhi is rather far from your 'usual' Japanese woman standard. Maybe this is one of the reasons the show appeals to so many western cultures?
I've been enlightened, and realize I should never travel to Japan because I would freak everyone out. Uh. This makes me sad.
Back to Ebihara...well, I don't really have much to say about this. I'm glad the game didn't go there and ruined everything because I really like him a lot.
I still have very conflicted feelings btw.

It really does.

I'm sitting here and realizing that there are so many things I've been missing out due to the country I was raised in and the prevailing culture.

I mean, wow, this suddenly... Sheds so much light on everything.

Not to mention that a lot of the things I'd do would count as flirting in Japan. Which is awkward. Since I'm aromantic. I'd be sending mixed messages, oh boy. Minus buying the food they like. Fuck that, I buy what I want to eat. ... Yay, thank God I'm too loud and boisterous and insane to be considered attractive over there anyway? Uh.

Granted, what I gave was very much "the norm." As in Western countries, there are plenty of exceptions. Despite what the culture is like, there will still be braggarts in Japan, just like there will still be people who want to blend in with the crowd and put others ahead of themselves in America, even though our culture places a high value on individualism and ideas that have to do with the individual like self-esteem and finding yourself, etc. However, it's good to know about what the culture is like because what our culture is like affects us. At the same time, I don't think it's good to assume it will be the same for everyone. Someone who responded to that post on Tumblr said that they had been to Japan and talked to various Japanese people and they thought the idea of a dominant/submissive partner, at least in bed, was more of a porn stereotype. I'm guessing it's somewhere in between, where the original poster's observations were true for some people and not for others. (Though some of the things are fairly universal, like the shower thing.) Japan is a country that is changing to adopt more Western views in a lot of things, so this has probably affected sex for them too.

That said, I don't think the differences in culture should stop you from visiting Japan or any other place you might want to go. I went to Japan for ten days in high school and everyone I met was very kind to me and understanding. I didn't have sex there or talk to anyone about sex, so I can't comment about that, but, as a whole, Japanese people are fascinated with Westerners (particularly white people, unfortunately) and will sometimes even treat them better than other Japanese people. It's a nice country to visit, even if you don't know Japanese because everyone in Japan is required to take six years of English in school, so you can manage very well without much Japanese at all. I know that when I went to order at McDonald's when I was there, as soon as they saw I was white, they flipped the menu over to the other side, where it was written in English. (I stubbornly ordered in Japanese anyway because gosh darn it, I knew how to do so and I'd been looking forward to ordering in Japanese!)

Fun fact!
Japanese people (some, anyway) are also fascinated by "black culture", which is actually just this really, really stereotyped view of African-Americans that's been gathered from popular media, such as movies and music. That said, I'm absolutely terrified to visit Japan. While I don't want to be ostracized (one friend said people would actually stand up on the train to move away from him), I also don't want people coming up to me and being blindingly racist.
I know it's not good to generalize; I'm sure there are some people that would either ignore me like they do everyone else or be kind, but I'm super-sensitive to situations like that, so I think it might be best to stay away from Japan, haha...~

Me in Québec every time we go there if someone sees our Ontario license plate. Except I'm Francophone, so it's more like "CAN I PLEASE SPEAK MY MOTHER TONGUE HOLY FRICK WHAT IS THIS" than "I NEED TO PRACTISE DAMN IT".

But yeah, I agree with your post entirely, but I'm still stuck in this "ALL OR NOTHING" kind of mindset with everything, so for that to truly sink in, I'll need to speak with varying individuals first. But still, it's a good topic to talk about!

... Should we move this to the Kawaii River forum, actually? Because there, we can talk about this in more detail without derailing the LP too much.

I agree. I hope it didn't seem like I was putting everyone in the same bag. Exceptions exist everywhere, otherwise cultures would never change or adapt at all.

Considering the fact I'm trans* (even though it's not blidingly obvious and I don't talk about it with strangers), I know exactly what you mean, though from a different standing point.

Though now I am curious about if Japan has any opinion on Hispanics.

HERE we go. Backing up what I said earlier. C:

......................... Why, Japan?

Edit: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU LOOK SLIMMER WITH A TAN? WHAT IS THIS?

I mean, damn.

I'm wary of going over to Japan because of many reasons, but much of it is that since I'm Asian-American I think I'd get a much frostier reception than a white person.

GOING TO HAVE AN ADVENTUROUS BLACK NIGHT

I CAN'T EVEN.

I. WHAT.

WHAT.

WHY?

You know what, nevermind, I don't want to know what the general consensus is for "Hispanic culture".

Unless they're counting Hispanics under the "Black culture" tag in which case I am flipping a desk because you're mixing up two distinct cultures together. I should know, the Dominican Republic shares an island with Haiti and they are very much not the same culture, albeit there are some similarities here and there due to the environment they live in, but I mean, holy frick.

"It's not harmful for your skin."
Oh, honey... I hope you give up your tanning habits before you get skin cancer.

I don't know that it'd be so much a frosty reception as much as it would less, "OMG you're so cool!" (Seriously. I went to a middle school when I was in Japan and one of the students asked me "why are you so beautiful?" Okay? I don't know how to answer that...) One downside though is that if you look Asian, people will tend to assume you speak Japanese. However, it does make it so that you can become more a part of the culture than a white person can. I remember reading something written by someone who was not Japanese, but spoke Japanese and was in Japan with an Asian friend who didn't and they said that people would always speak to his friend when they wanted to say something in Japanese, even though he was the one who knew Japanese and had to translate for his friend. A person of another race in Japan is always going to be somewhat of an outsider, even if they're an outsider who gets treated very nicely.

I've heard Hispanics are generally looked down upon, but there might be some of the imitation that happens with black and white "culture" since I didn't know that there was anything like that for "black lifestyle." It's unfortunate, but Japan has a very racist and xenophobic culture in a lot of ways.

............................ Welp, Japan hates me, then, I'm half Hispanic and French-Canadian.

Okay, I'm. Going to sit over here and. Just gonna take a deep breath. What is it with everyone and hating on Hispanics, man.

Edit: For those wondering I am exaggerating that last one, I swear. It's just that a lot of the media I see seems to be all "HISPANIC PEOPLE ARE VIOLENT AND CRAZY" or "MEXICANS SUCK". Might just be an American thing, though. I'm honestly not sure what Canada's overall reaction to Hispanics is since our selling point is how diverse we are. Hahahahaha, yeah, because there isn't any racism or stigma here, pfft. *headdesk*

Preaching to the choir.
hello i'm a black person let me just show you all of my peoples' stereotypes
all of them
here i have a list where did i put it.

If it makes you feel any better, I think most Americans hate the French more than they hate Hispanics. :P

I'm jealous of people who have some mixed blood in them. I'm white as white can be (seriously, my mom's done genealogy, I'm whiter than marshmallow fluff for as far back as we can find) and I hate it. I am pale and pasty and I can't tan and I can't go out in the sun without putting on loads of sunscreen unless I want to become a lobster.

I swear I will punch the next person asking me about how active my sex life is or how good in bed I am. And how I must get around.

That, and I'm tired of being called a frog. Or being told Hispanic people are lazy. Not saying all stereotypes are unfounded, they stem from something, but then they get blown out of proportion and it's irritating to deal with. Why yes, I do, in fact, flirt and sleep with practically everyone I meet only to dump them once I get what I want and run off to a different city to start again. Totally my MO.

LET'S MOVE THIS OVER TO THE KAWAII AREA SHALL WE.

I know she only appeared for a small scene, but Hina's mum seems like such a lovely person :3

Edit: Sorry I can't contribute something more intelligent, lol. My head hurts...

*Moved this answer to the new thread.*

WE SHOULD SORRY I SAW THIS AFTER I POSTED.

*moves to the new thread*

That was an interesting derailment! I'm Italian and German, fun combo, no??

So let's see how Lysa and Ebi-chan handle spending the night!!





*warm fuzzies*



Oh sweetie, I think he wanted to. He is just that much of a gentleman!



Because he is AMAZING!!!

I'm actually impressed that Lysa was able to sleep, I would have snuck out of the room and stared at Ebi-chan while he slept...



It's Ebi-chan, of course he did!

Lysa leaves her room and sees a super precious Ebi-chan sleeping on the couch awwwww!
She tip-toes past him to the bathroom to wash her face.



Woah you scared me!



He is all polite and pleasant and asks how she slept and whatnot

You know, as Ebi-chans do.



Does my breath smell?



....

YES!

Ebi-chan wraps his arms around Lysa all warm and safe.

He's wearing glasses.
Glasses.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
*volcanoes erupt*

Can we just mention glasses? Because man, even if those aren't exactly my favorite style of glasses...

Considering how many people here seem to fancy glasses...
Thread, prepare for SWOONING STAGE 11

Well that went quite well.
Hey hey I am German and Italian descendant! :D

He's wearing glasses! AND THAT BLUSH. AND I-
Kinda disappointed I missed the culture discussion why did I have to go sleep baww

It's moved to the new subforum.

As for the update... I would actually be fairly creeped out okay.

It's okay, videet, so would I.

But I'll admit I am weak to the specs.

So you guys don't get hugged in the mornings?
Haa it's funny because I don't even like physical contact but my aunt is really affectionate. She's pretty much the only person I let hug me because I'm used to it now.

If I am touched in the morning when I'm not expecting it I freak. Not out loud, I've learned to internalize my panic, but I mean. It ruins my day since I'm anxious until mid-afternoon. And considering I have to take the fucking subway during rush hour, I have enough unwanted contact in the morning, thank you.

I do, by someone I have known for years and am okay with touching me. By my boss at work whom I have only known for a short period of time? No, I would not be okay with that.

Wow glasses.
AND blushing.
I think I'm in love.

Oh your boss doesn't hug you? Ok I guess it's just here then. I forget sometimes that not everybody is as friendly as the people down here oops~

The fact that he asked permission is what really kinda made me melt.

That and it's a nice contrast to the resounding lack of affection (or even passing interest) that she gets from Koichi, so.

Wonderful Ebi-chan and wonderful way to show Lysa what she could have DUMP KOICHI ALREADY.

Okay, this is a stupid question but
Are you from South Tyrol?