Let's Play My Forged Wedding - because stranger danger is dead.

Pshhh, what, only the badge? Everyone knows you gotta unload your entire inventory on every person you meet! Hey, mister policeman, look at this awesome illegally-obtained evidence I haaaave~

Takao is certainly very... forward. Or an awkward social turtle. Time will tell. Takao, hurry up and explain yourself before we turn this bar around and go straight home, mister!

You just won the internet and my love. You referenced Itsuwaribito

I am perfectly happy with this. I eagerly await the next update... hehehhe

!!!


(A-Am I really that predictable...?)

Y'know when he took all of five seconds to just drop the "marry me oh great leader of Team Rocket lovely lady" at first I was like:

Then I was like:
Hey, y'know he didn't pussyfoot around this very awkward topic. I like him already (well, for more than his pretty face and charming smile now). Maybe that's what the Koichi LP is doing to me: OMG he wants to be direct and open and such, marry me good sir!

I actually really love that Takao is so direct and says (well begins to say) what this agreement is about right away – even if he is rather akward in handling it and he probably should not have just blurted it out like that.

But I'd rather take this akward-turtle-direct-approach than being left in the dark. I really disliked it that - in Yamato's route for example – the guys just wouldn't tell what is going on. I mean, we, as the player, know what's going on and what it is we agreed on, but the protag-chan does not. But no, they start to watch Baseball and cook food because Yamato said that you didn't need to know right now. It takes rather long for him to spit it out and I was kind of annoyed by that.

Awwww frill. Now I really wanna do a Phoenix Wright Let's Play. Well, actually, I wanna do a Let's Play of Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth, considering how there's already a Let's Play of Phoenix Wright.

Aghdsajfhaskjghewiog. ;n;

Do it Suzurin. Dooo itttt.

Ah... I wanted to do an LP of a fan-made Ace Attorney game, but, I think I'll wait until the other ones are done.

Is. . . He knawing or however your spell it on a soap bar? XD

Gnawing. No he just biting it in my opnion to stifle screaming.

Yeah but why on SOAP I mean why not on a. . . . Something else xD

Guys do not typically have hair brushes in their showers like girls often do.

....I don't have a hair brush in my shower... I have a rag though.

Neato.

I assumed it was a tiny rag or something. If it really is soap then I can't imagine that it has a pleasant taste.

I thought that was the shower head.

Eating soap hurts your throat a lot as well.

... You're going to be the one I blame if I end up starting up an AAI LP.

Anyways, since I'm feeling productive after updating my other LP, let's update this one as well! Especially now that I've collected my thoughts together about how I feel about this proposal.



I know I can't believe it either but my ansWER IS YES TAKAO TAKE ME NOW



DAMMIT this is why we can't have nice things. On the other hand, dat blush.

Turns out Takao just wants me to pretend to be his wife for a day. Sounds easy enough... Why, exactly?



Uh.

Uhhhh.

I foresee many problems with this.

Mainly, I foresee many nights of me staying up guilt-ridden for ever having lied to a woman on her deathbed. I– my morals–

Giovanni's just as baffled as I am, though she's still on the, "oh wait the proposal is fake and the favor is to pretend to be his fiancee," stage.



...

Yes, Giovanni. Because every girl's dream when she was little was for a prince to ride up on a white horse, and ask her to pretend to be his wife.

Anyways... She comes up with the good point (in her mind, heaven knows why she doesn't say it out loud) that even pretending is going to be difficult. Which is true, given that I just met him.



That explains why he's so polite, I guess.

Apparently his grandma has been saying that she wants to see Takao's bride-to-be just once, and then she can die happily, I guess.

So, your grandmother's in the hospital, huh...



I'm very sorry to hear that.

Kuni: "It's already been that long?"

Kuni, stop, that's not going to make things any better.

Saeki: "How is she lately?"
Takao: "Well... honestly, not so good."
Yuta: "Oh..."



Oh... :( Now I understand why he's desperate enough to do something like this. Man, this is pulling on all of my heartstrings... I'm seriously facing a moral dilemma here...

It goes silent after that.





That's heartwarming. They do appear to be very good friends.

Apparently Takao's grandmother took care of all of them, and was a nice lady, even if she was a little scary sometimes. She was strict, but her 'huge love' made up for it. She sounds wonderful, a real role model.

Yuta: "It's the same with Takao!"
Saeki: "Heh, that's true."

Scary? Takao? I'd like to see that.

Yamato: "Use that huge love to support your grandma!"
Takao: "Yeah, thanks."

Aww, they just cheered him up. The strong bond of friendship 'former teammates' in the air is heartwarming (she literally says "strong bond of former teammates," apparently friendship isn't good enough.)



And quite a story it was! And you've got me, I'll do it. Where do I sign?



Well, yes, I would like to do that–



Somehow I doubt that, but duly noted–



Are you threatening m–



;A; Help me I'm scared. Takao to the rescue, as always!



I–Is that sass? Ren, is it possible you're actually showing some kind of emotion? It's a miracle!

... Of course, knowing my luck, he said that completely deadpan. (I'm kidding Ren I love you you're my favorite)

Still, it's kind of amazing how even though Takao's the one who wants me to help him the most, he's the one that rescued me...



YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES



Giovanni you are the worst self-insert ever.

Takao mutters, "I guess so..." and slumps his shoulders in disappointment and guys this is breaking my heart help me I want him to be haPPY AND SMILE AGAIN GIOVANNI WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Saeki: "Aww. He's depressed."
Yamato: "He's even more depressed because you got his hopes up."
Yuta: "Poor Takao..."



LOOK AT THE LOOK OF SCORN REN GIVES YOU. Everyone else just makes sad faces and sympathizes with Takao while Ren has no problem looking at you like you're the biggest bitch in the world. Which I'm starting to feel like, in all honesty.



NO REN YOU KEEP GIVING HER THAT "YOU BITCH" GLARE. MAKE HER CHANGE HER MIND. YOU GO GLEN COCO



...

shit

Shit

SHIT

EVERYBODY RUN

Next update ->

Ohshit, incoming blackmail!

Although I'll forgive it in this case because Takao. Aw, punkin. :c

That evil smile.

I'm running off with Hat-Not-Uncle and nobody can stop me.

.... He's going to blackmail us and there's nothing we can do to stop him....

I really don't like how readily he falls back on blackmailing the protagonist with, you know, the thing that is the whole reason she came here from Kyushu in the first place. :|

It's bad enough here, but it's much worse in the routes where she's expected not just to pretend to be a fiancee for a day but to actually live with the guy and pose as his wife for an indeterminate period of time.

And then based on the spinoffs he doesn't hold up his end of the deal anyway.

Not cool, Uncle Kuni, not cool. :|

I do like with Kuni and Yuta's routes you stay and work at the bar for awhile before the issue of either of them asking you to pretend to be their wife comes up. It makes it more that Kuni is giving you a part time job while you look for a real job, and then a problem comes up out of nowhere. I think with Yuta you're there for 3 months.

Ah yes, Kuni and his blackmailing. 'HELP HIM or I won't help you find a job' (which, Mr. Hat, you don't do no matter if she helps or not!) - if I were protag-chan I would have told him where he can stick that blackmail attempt of his but then again, I wouldn't need to be blackmailed into being .. ah, I mean pretending to be Takaos wife anyway :P

He doesn't hold up his end of the deal even in the sequels, does he? Because at least in Yamatos sequel (well it is the only one out right now) protag-chan is working at his bar! And I doubt that working there is the kind of job that she had in mind when she came to the city and agreed to the whole thing! And there isn't even an explenation?! Something like 'Yeah, I am still looking for a job for you' or 'I am sorry that I couldn't help you with a job until now' .. no, nothing, as far as I can remember?!

firstly: GIOVANNNIIIIIIII!! DA FUCK YOU SAYIN' WOMAN?! GARGH!!!!!!!!!

Alright. I'm cool now. Ish.

Anywho, regarding Hat-Not-Uncle's promise. I think that it was a legit offer but when you end up marrying whoever you pick to be your eternal slave husband, he just doesn't bring it up because you will be taken care of for life now. Plus, I think that he also brought you over to play Hat-Not-Uncle's game of matchmaking.

Yeah, it sort of seems like to me that it just becomes less pressing once she get in to the deal? She doesn't have as dire a need to support herself so it can wait longer. At least in most cases. No idea what the excuse is going to be here if it's only supposed to be a one-time, one-day thing.

Except the "Working Couple" spinoff, which is established to take place after the end of whoever's route, begins with the protagonist asking "so, hey, about helping me get a job? ...no, really, how about helping me find a job? I would really like for you to help me find a job like you were supposed to!" and Kuni's just kind of "mm-hm... mm-hm..." and reading a magazine until the protagonist's parents call him specifically for the purposes of asking how hooking her up with a job is going. Then suddenly he's all "oh yeah it's great I have three jobs lined up for her right now! :D :D :D"

Only one of which turns out to actually be a decent and viable long-term position. :|

So the message here is that he just generally doesn't care all that much about helping her find work, but is more than happy to take advantage of the situation to corner her into an extremely awkward situation for the benefit of any of his buddies. (Except Yuta, apparently.) It's extra bad in Saeki's route, because Saeki doesn't even stand to lose anything if the protagonist doesn't go along with it.

Thanks, Uncle Kuni!

Oh my God. I didn't think it was possible but I love Takao even more now. His story!



I will more than marry you TK, I will devour you until we are one (too much?) Seriously though, I just love his attitude, the whole set-up - it's believable and understandable. I have NO idea why Gio intervened with words I DID NOT GIVE HER. Of course we'll help! I really hope Tak's route continues like this :)

Oh yeah Kuni = major creeps.

OMG Ren's sass! It's so delightful (he really does have that sassy housecat vibe/set of expressions).

Takao, puddin', babydoll, Giovanni's mouth tripped and she really meant 'Of course, when do we start?'. This would be making a dying old lady happy and ain't nothing morally wrong with pretending to be your fiance or wife to make a dying old lady happy. And if nothing else I'd be more than happy to help you instead, me, the cute little librarian who wears frilly dresses and has a garden (and is tooootally not a racing robot spy cat). Your G-ma would love me, I just know it.

Seriously, I forgot how much I like Takao... He's so reasonable and nice but I don't think he ever goes all Nice Guy or anything. And y'all are reminding me how Hat-not-Uncle is kinda not so great. Maaaan.

(PS: Mr. Disney if Giovanni does decide to stop being a butt and help out then I am still veeeery open to drunk Disney adventures, especially if you bring back ElecTRONica. Hell, you bring back ElecTRONica and I'll do anything. Like you need a guy killed or a rare book stolen? I might could know someone that could make that happen.)

Memos to the characters

Kuni: Fuck you.

Takao: Oh, you darling.

Giovanni: HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL? IT'S ONE DAY. AND YOU GET TO MAKE THE SWEETEST GUY AND GRANDMOTHER HAPPY. And then maybe actually marry the guy.

Oh oh, it's blackmail time!
Or that.

Giovanni, we both know you're going to help him so just agree already. Takao's sweet, has a good reason (unlike some), and he's so adorably awkward. SCORE! So get it together. And need I remind you that you have a guy's name and he's still willing to accept your help?

So I guess this counts as de-lurking. Hello.

Welcome to the thread~

Hello and welcome~ and thank you for all the likes! :D



Oh right SHIT



AAAAAAAH DO NOT WANT PERSONAL SPACE

I'm scared ;_;



WELL NOW I'M FUCKING TERRIFIED JESUS CHRIST

Of course he's just referring to the whole getting-me-a-job thing, and not actually saying that I won't live to see the light of day if I don't cooperate. I'm still not ever signing a contract with him though.



That–

What?

Uhhh. Anyways.

Gio continues to protest slightly, much to the chagrin of all of us, and Kuni simply goes, "Okay, then I guess our deal is invalid." To which Gio (finally) replies, "Nooooo! Wait! I'll do it!"

While she realizes she's just been caught, Takao shouts our name and grabs our hands.



SEE GIO, THIS IS WHY YOU AGREE IMMEDIATELY, LOOK AT THAT FACE. LOOK AT IT. HNNNNG.



Oh my sweet baby, come here and let me love you ;u;

Gio, still not quite letting me fully insert myself into this game by still asking stupid questions, makes sure that it's just for a day.



I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react to this, but Takao having yaoi hands would explain why Kuni was gushing over him earlier. Kuni, rival mode is activated.

It's just for day, he reassures us, and while we're not sure how well we can act (which I feel slightly funny saying considering how I'm currently the lead in a play whoops my narcissist side came out), we'll do our best.

What ensues is a bunch of thanking people and "way to go buddy!" statements, so for the sake of saving time, I'll condense it:

Takao: "Thank you... I'll never forget your kindness."
He bows again, still holding our hands.
Saeki: "Good for you, Takao!"
Ren: "Your grandma will be happy."
Yamato: "I think you guys should practice lying together, though."
(It took me a minute to realize that he did not, in fact, mean lying down on a bed together.)
Yuta: "Darn, I'm so jealous!!"



NOW you ask me? It's not like we even have a fucking choice, you won't get us a job if we don't! Are you fucking with me right now?

I just– ugh. Moving on, so I don't have to deal with this.

Yes, we are, because we don't really have a choice otherwise, and Kuni congratulates Takao.



Takao thanks both of us because he's polite, and I'm left wishing that he was only thanking me because Kuni's a dick. (I'm choosing to believe that Takao's really only thanking Kuni for setting up this whole meet-and-greet thing, since the exchange at the beginning of this update with the whole 'whispering in our ears' thing leads me to believe that no one knows I'm being blackmailed into this besides me and Kuni. I really fucking hate Kuni right now. Even if he did make Gio say yes, which I've been trying to get her to say for ages now.)



If 'celebrate' is code for alcohol, then yes. I'm pretty sure Giovanni could go for a drink right about now. I'll settle for mint tea, due to the whole not-of-age-yet thing.

Everyone raises their glasses (which I didn't realize they already had) and toasts for our success. It's nice that they get along so well, and aren't too bummed out that I can't help all of them. Yuta really seems to be the only one that keeps mentioning it. (Yandere alert?)

At some point, we slip away to the bathroom to calm down, and worry whether it really will be okay. I'm slightly worried too, to be honest. After all, we'll have to lie to his whole family... It'll only be for a day, though, so that's good.



Well hello, how can I help you? (Also, are those lemons on the counter?)



Well, I can think of one way you could thank me~

Is it bad that I'm thinking he could kill Kuni, rather than anything else? My urge for righteous vengeance is strong.





Aaaaaand choice time! There's approximately 2 choices per chapter, so typically I'll be making one choice and I'll let y'all make the other~

What will you have us do?

Voting for B. If I had to bow all the time I think I might get dizzy (I am rather physically uncoordinated). I would definitely not make a very good Japanese person.

Bow back. Gio should feel guilty about saying no the first time.

You suck, uncle.

B. Cuz he doesn't have to keep bowing all the time to us.

I really can't get over the fact that Takao has such a cute smile.
Voting B I think he already thanked her enough.

Oh, Takao, you precious precious thing. Let's go with B; no need to be so formal!

It's really too bad we can't have both. He can raise his head and Gio can bow in apology, or at least bow far lower than he does.