Let's Play Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords

Imgur is being a butt today, so that's why the updates are in bits and pieces.

I have very little to add to this quest line. It's ridiculous. This is about the point where I feel like the game purposely draws you in with generic fantasy RPG plot at the beginning just so it can throw craziness at you later on.

Imgur won't even let me upload, so I'm impressed you managed to get anything out at all.

And that quest was AMAZING. The ellipsing party member at the end just killed me XD

Drakenburg is a long way from here, Drong...













Join me? Are you serious?

Yes! We will travel the world together, finding new things to eat. It will save you much time bringing things to Drong.

Queen Gwendholyn is just going to love this...

What's a Queen Gwendholyn? Can Drong eat it?

Oh my God.



What have I gotten myself into this time.

Thank you! =D

Imgur is randomly failing to upload my images, but enough are getting through if I try them multiple times. Also none of the pictures I just uploaded have thumbnails, so I can't find anything. Whyyyy.

It's being a MASSIVE PITA. I think sadly you have a one screenshot repeating in each update, too, which might be the thumbnail problem and-

-WAIT, HE DID WHAT? HE IS WHAT? WHAT NOW?

Thanks for catching that. I proofread and everything... *cries*

And yes. Yes. This game has the most bizarre and mismatched collection of party members, and it is wonderful.

EDIT: OK, hopefully the funny parts of the last two posts make more sense now.

(Well, I had a bunch of screencaps all ready to be written up a while ago. Then I got blocked on how to do it and distracted by my evil plot to scar MulMizu for life a different game. Then I came back and was like, "Man, Puzzle Quest is fun!" And then I found $20.

I tell the worst stories.)

On the way back to Dhun-Kor, the Pegasus egg starts to hatch.

I'm going to take care of it for you and name it Honeybun!

What's a Honeybun? Can I eat it?

It looks like Serephine has her work cut out for her.





I'll find a way. Thank you for your hospitality, Khrona.

It is we who should thank you. Even so, there is one more favor I would ask of you. The miners in Northern Kor have captured a Dragon. As you are passing through, could you help them... ahh... dispose of it?

Killing a trapped Dragon doesn't sound very sportsmanlike, but I agree to check out the situation. In Northern Kor, we find the Dragon caught in what looks like a large bear trap.





You can talk?



Look, talking or not you just can't go around eating Dwarven miners.

Eating Dwarves? Please! Gimme a break! Why would anyone eat a Dwarf unless they were starving?

Heh. Well.

Turns out the other Dragons are missing, and this Dragon -- Flicker -- needs help finding them. He says he can guide us through the mountains in exchange.



I suppose he fits right in.

Flicker is a bro. Even if he's kinda useless (10% resistance, OH BOY!~)

Does resistance ever get high enough to be actually helpful?

Even the few enemies that have resistances >30 or so, by the time I start encountering them I have enough mana to just keep spamming spells until something sticks.

I'm pretty sure as a player, even with bonuses from your party members, you never get much above 15%.

Yeah, you need some equipment that boots your resistance everytime the enemay casts a spell. Pretty soon you'd laugh at all those arch lyches and dread knights trying to cast their flimsy spells!

I'll keep an eye out. I've been spending my hard-earned gold on stat increases instead of equipment, but maybe that should change.

Aaaaw, baby dragon thing... well, kinda small dragon...

Tell the orc not to eat it.

I've always found stat-increasing equipment most useful, you can get like +7 to a stat if your willing to cheat your crafting game (or try it fairly and do it till you're thirty). You just need that rune that adds +4 to base - Giant's rune? Dragon Rune? There's a list on GameFAQ.

With a name like "Dragonrealm," you'd think Dragons would be easier to find here.







Kelthurax is the oldest Dragon in the realm. I've heard legends about him.

Is that safe?

Oh yes - it's perfectly safe. I'm here, and in case you haven't noticed I AM a Dragon.

Have you ever spoken with Kelthurax before?

Of COURSE I have!

That doesn't sound very convincing.

Orcs have been capturing my people and taking them north through the mountains. All I know is that there is a creature at this Hornburg called the Mechataur, who is involved in all of this.



Okay, let's get this straight before we attack. No, Drong, you can't eat it. No, Khalkus, you can't take it apart to see how it ticks. And no, Galnoth, you can't sneak away while you think I'm not paying attention.

No one in the party seems particularly happy except for Honeybun, who helps me divebomb the Mechataur into submission with a raucous sound that I presume is a Pegasus expression of delight.

(Man, I wish I could draw right now.)







Is this all connected with the Undead attacks in Agaria?



I didn't expect much from this machine, but I had to try. At least we found a way into the Realms of War, where I can hopefully find some more answers.

Fabio's sprite just looks extra silly when he's trying to interrogate someone, doesn't it?

"Tell me where your masters are, or I will point my chin at you harder!"

He kind of looks like he's tsundere about getting information, doesn't he? "N-not like I care about hearing what might save this realm from you at all, you BIG JERK. *pout*"

Flicker insists that I help him search for more Dragons. All we find are some monsters that have moved into abandoned Dragon caves. If I fight one more Wyvern, I think I'm going to scream.





(This quest is ridiculously padded. You search caves and fight monsters, then search the same caves again and fight other monsters, then... argh.)



I leave Flicker alone for five minutes, and of course he gets into trouble.



You're a Dragon. Of all the people in this party I need to rescue, you shouldn't be one of them.

I tell him about the cog I found. It looks like Minotaurs captured the Dragons in some kind of machine and took them north. This has something to do with the Orcs; I'm sure of it.


In the meantime, though, Drong has a quest for me.






Stinky things live near Drong's Tower. You chase them away, Drong give you gold.

Chase them away? You don't want to eat them?

Ewww... No! Drong very choosy 'bout Drong's food.


...Right.







We taste the dead and rotting things for our master, Lord Antharg. We look for new diseases for him to spread upon the world.

Well, it's a good thing Drong didn't want to eat them. And it's a good thing they die quick.

Have you encountered creatures like that before?

No. This Undead problem is becoming stranger each day...

It's oddly reassuring Drong draws the line at plague.

And it's weird it didn't occur to the tasters to lie because that sales pitch will get you very dead very fast.

Well, if Drong won't eat our problems, I might be out of ideas.

I suggest we send all of our troubles to the church. Because I hate God. And myself.*

*Extremely obscure Crusader Kings AAR reference. I apologize.

What do you mean, obscure? It isn't obscure! Compared to other CK AARs

Fair point. There is Fire Warms in Northern Lands, too, though. which seems to get a bit more response than Knud Knýttling at times. Man, that's not how it's spelled. It's been too long...

We need to continue north, eventually. But in the meantime, Khalkus needs my help.





Khalkus? You had some news, remember?

Oh, aye, I did. One o' the Ogres tells me that an Ogre Mage up north of here in Gork has part of the Great Machine! Can ye imagine it? Lost for centuries, an' part of it turns up here in Kor with...

What is this 'Great Machine'?

Ach! I canna believe ye've never heard o' the Great Machine. 'Twas built by the Dwarves long long ago, but lost when Orcs raided the lower halls of Duemoth and...

I can see you're not going to stop talking until we get this piece of machinery.

Or afterwards, either, but that's beside the point.

Negotiations with the Ogre Mage go fairly well.



He agrees to give us the machine part and teach me his spells in exchange for not dying, which I think is pretty fair, all things considered.

Look at the perfect circularity of the wheel and the delicate milled chamfer o' the edges. 'Tis a thing o' beauty, like nothin' I've ever...

I think I'll leave you two alone to get acquainted...

I think Khalkus needs a girlfriend. Maybe I can set him up with Khrona when we get back to Dhun-Kor.

Narrate it if you do!

And poor Fabio. The dwarf never shuts up, the orc never stops eating, the dark elf never STARTS being useful, the dragon never does dragony stuff and the half elf never stops angsting. It says a lot the token girl is by far the easiest slice to get along with.

I'm curious about what this Great Machine does. Let's investigate.

It's not too far out of our way, I suppose.



(My yellow mana is always maxed because that's what I use for Bard skills. Somehow I still survived.)



I know these are only parts, but I expected it to be... you know, bigger.

I keep tellin' ye, lad, that these be no mere metal cogs. The know-how that goes into creatin' a classic piece like this, 'twas lost in the fall o' Drak-Dum, when the Gnolls burned the Great Smithy and...

Alright, Khalkus, I believe you!

I promise to keep an ear out for any other news about the Great Machine, though I'm sure Khalkus will hear it first. We head north to the Horned Temple, home of the Minotaurs, where we'll hopefully find more information about the Orcs, and the Dragons, and the Mechataur.

The token girl is only a problem because she's flirting with Fabio while underage. Not on this LP forum, kids!

Alas, Fabio. Being you is suffering. At least you still have Lute who never makes trouble?

We don't talk about that in mixed company.

You named it Bianca, didn't you?

We track the Orc slavers to the Horned Temple.













It's good to know what we're getting into, I guess.



And who are YOU to tell me to stop?

I am Tauron Flamebite, Lord of the Firewalkers. This is our Temple. You are unclean, outsider, and you may not enter here.

I have no quarrel with you, Tauron. I'm following a trail that has led me here. I need information.

These are the Realms of War -- not the wisest place to be seeking answers. Travel north of here to a place we call The Pike, then return and tell me if you are still willing to follow this trail of yours.

I take Darkhunter and head north. I'm sure a place called "The Pike" can't be too bad...

Most outsiders who see The Pike end up as part of it. It serves as a warning to those who are foolish enough to travel here.



I do not know.

But you're a Minotaur, and Minotaurs rule this land. You MUST know.

We are NOT common Minotaurs! We are FIREWALKERS! We are the Guardians of Sartek's sacred flame and we await his return. We do not trifle with Orcs.

But you're still Minotaurs; you must know SOMETHING.

You think us ordinary Minotaurs? Then face one of my shamans in battle!





Gee, thanks. Now, can I enter the Temple and talk with you?

It was my plan all along, of course. These situations always end up with you needing to prove your strength in order to gain someone's trust. And I knew the Firewalker was no match for my Stormhammer. He barely even singed my hair.

Enter the Temple? No! You are unclean. You must first be purified.

I may not have thought this plan all the way through.

So, business as usual.

Meaning he DID singe it?! THAT BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, FABIOLOUS HAIR?!

FABIOLOUS

Must work this into the LP somehow. Give me a few weeks.

Would be Hawkeward not to :3

That's right, this is an NC-17 forum, cargo ship porn is sadly not welcome here.
Really, Fabio is shameless, always fondling his lute in public <--Monkey Island had taught me that is illegal. Video games are so educational.

Also, I really love the Firewalkers quest line. They're a funky bunch.

I think it's time to officially abandon this one (sorry, Davian Korran). Elyscape, could you move this to the proper subforum, please?