Let's Survive Zafehouse: Diaries!

I... I'm really thankful of you all. Noel, this is my mission and I wouldn't like to put your life at risk too. For now, let's just focus ourselves on survival, yes?

Or so he says, but not a second after finishing that sentence he spots a pink flash out of the corner of his eye and his cheerful expression fades away.

Was that... was that...?!

Meat Boy, after collecting himself, looks at each one of the team and frowns. He has a mission; he can't stay here with these people, as much as he'd want to.

I'm really sorry. I... goddamnit, I would've come to like you all, I'm sure, but I can't abandon my girlfriend like this. Saving Bandage Girl is my mission, and if she is in town I'm afraid I can't just stay here with you.

I have to leave now. I saw her in that house south of us. I need to breach it. I... I won't take anything with me, don't worry. Your supplies are limited, and I don't think I'll be coming back to you anyway.

Please, give my best regards to Éponine. She seemed like a nice girl... I hope you get to reconcile. You all... I wish you the best, and may the Meat gods want us to meet again someday.

And so, before any of his puzzled fellow survivors could say a word, Meat Boy ran out of the door with surprising speed towards the house directly south of them. They never saw him again.

...seriously, waifu? Seriously?

Kaneda lives to troll us all to Ozzo levels of frustration.

(...I'm fully serious. I'm also hiding under a rock wrapped in a blanket and sobbing.)

Dracula will either be incredibly useful or incredibly useless.

So wait, does everyone who bet he'd die on the first turn win even if breaching the house doesn't kill him?

Haha, you wish.

So, the cube of meat breaches the south house and...!



Congratulations, Jacquelle Flonne Davian Korran videetcredere soundlyParanoid! You are all restricted to a maximum of five points for all custom characters from now on! Sarasha Antiqua and M Sheep , you three lucky ones are still in the running!



Oops. Dracula doesn't seem too happy about this turn of events, does he? Guess not finding any clues in the first house AND having his new-found fleshy servant run off must have pissed him off.

Meh. No big deal to me. Like I said, my participation again wasn't that likely.

(That's okay. It's not like I could actually top Dracula? Now where's Eboby. I hope she hasn't had enough of vampires so far...)

"Is there nothing in this blasted house? Is God still mocking me?"

*snicker* Give me your next actions, everyone. And Meat, I strongly suggest you search the house before attempting to kill yourself on another one. Clues go into the shared inventory after all. xD

AND THE GAME TROLLS BACK!

(But there were a couple of loopholes in your rules, weren't there? The ones who voted on the hours closest to my death are the ones who will benefit from it. I could die on this one, the second, and benefit both the ones who voted for the first and the ones who voted for the third.

So it's the couch for me again, huh.)

(I think the point is there's nothing else in the house. Also only DK is restricted to 5 points. The rest of us can drop all the way down to dead meat.)

Yup, it's just that with the information we have right now the max you can have is five points. Unless, as Kaneda pointed out, she dies this turn. We'll see what happens. :D

Nah, it's totally fine if that happens, heh. I'll adjust accordingly.

Would it surprise anyone to know that Ozzo was behind this?

Also, FUCK FUCK FUCK

I love how Ozzo is the main suspect whenever anything troll-y happens in this LP now.

*discreetly screencaps her conspiratorial conversations*

(Isn't that the fun part?)

Meat Boy stares at the obviously abandoned house and clicks his tongue. It's clear that Dr. Fetus isn't there; he is not the kind to stay inside a place without making a ruckus with bombs, machine guns and saws.

Just while thinking that, he hears the sound of a buzzsaw in the warehouse diagonally below him, and sprints towards it without even examining the house for weapons. They would slip off his bloody hands anyway, as always. It would be a good old fistfight between him and Dr. Fetus, and this time Meat Boy wouldn't let him escape.

I love how you have absolutely no intention of being useful to the team in any way whatsoever.

(Define useful. Does "hasn't drained his compatriots of their blood yet" count as useful.)

(Nope. They have all of my stats in this run anyway, so I may as well try to secure them for the future.

Though to be completely honest, I was this close to reverse trolling and staying alive (and useless, of course). This close.)

I will be both deeply bemused and amused if you survive the warehouse.

Considering Dead Meat Boy could, in theory, just jump high enough into an open window of the Warehouse....

... Oh who am I kidding he's so screwed.

Why was I tagged?

You should totally show it to us!

Also I need actions from the rest of the team before I can continue with Meat's suicide attempts, by the way.

oh, why did he run off? I hope he's all right out there! I'll help search, so we can go after him...

Oh sure, I pull one caper involving a loving couple and I'm responsible for all future mayhem?

That's clearly Photoshop'd!

((SoundlyParanoid was in on it too. And now you can see the theme I use!))

Pffft, of course it was Ozzo. Of course.

*snicker* The one obvious flaw in this plan is that it's pretty much impossible to die on the first turn. Even if you breach, say, the police station, you won't die immediately because the actual breaching happens on the second turn. Well, if you'd enlisted me I'd probably would've helped you generate a map that was more amenable to this plan but hey, if you trust the RNG gods more... ;)

In any case, I think I know what I need to do now. :D

I am, of course, referring to divorce papers. ;)

Notice that I made this convo JANUARY THIRD.

I did a lot of tests and it is indeed possible to die first turn if you character sucks AND YOUR MAP ISN'T SURROUNDED BY HOUSES.

It was more fun this way. Having a conspiracy we were all secretly in on was fun even if it didn't pan out ;)

oh shit Ana don't make me regret revealing this until Kaneda was dead

*eagerly awaits the GM's ensuing counterinsurgency"

only divorce?
awwwwww

Oh, by the way, Kaneda didn't specify whether or not Meat Boy would actually bring weapons with him to the warehouse, did she? She just said she wouldn't search the house for them, riiiight? ;D

Kaneda GET IN HERE AND FIX IT GIRL

(She has until we have all our actions in to rectify that. :,) )

"Once we are finished searching here, I recommend we go breach the house to the south. I did not hear any screaming from that general direction, so I believe the foolish blob of meat did not meet his end there, which would suggest it's perfectly safe."

(So my current plan of action suggests finish searching this house and maybe go breach the one to the south? Taking what ever useful junk we find here as well as the bloodbags.)