Let's Survive Zafehouse: Diaries!

Considering Zelda's a princess, she probably has the Wardrobe to back her up on this one.

My brain is in love with the idea of Link constantly saving saving Zelda despite being very uncomfortable around her due to her gender.

That's fairly close to canon, depending on the game.

The one day I do something productive and three pages... I should be productive more often.

If you insist on pursuing this rash course of action, it seems I will simply have to join you. I do not want la félin to get h.... that is... I do not trust you incompetents to take care of yourselves. Once I arrive at l'residence, I will...

The voice in my head informs me the plebeian phrase I am looking for is 'get in on that sweet breaching action'?

(And once we find a location to stay in, probably make traps whenever possible because guillotines)

So um unrelated to the LP but.

I think Knock Out's badass trophy has been taken.

Only if he wasn't wielding a wardrobe.

Knock Out used a spiked baseball bat. Slingshot used a chair.

Slingshot, most useful Airly for about 20 mins

Man, what on earth were you doing that your survivors were left to confront the zombie king with furniture? xD

Looks like this is the plan. If nobody objects, I'll have the update up soonish.

Mafia and zombie-king back to back is what I was doing. Mafia used up all my ammo (and killed Skydive). Slingshot decided on a chair.

No objections! I did work out imgur's stupidity seems to be slightly related to the time of day now, at least, so I'm in a better mood. About imgur, not the actual updates I finally got up.

*purr*

I think we finally solved why everyone likes Javert, He's tsundere about cats. Which is sort of hilarious when Hugo described him as the wolf that has been raised as a domesticated guard dog in a choice phrase early on. And consistently goes with canine metaphors for him. Leading to hilarious declarations that Javert wants to throw himself upon Jean Valjean and "devour him (that is, to arrest him)" and the likes.

Javert is so moe <3

Relevant:

Jacquelle/Zelda and Kaneda/Kaneda are searching the house till completion.
Flonne/Link is investigating the warehouse west of the house.
soundlyParanoid/Waffles is breaching the house northwest of the starting house, and then investigating the store to the north.

Since people have been voting for this plan:

I'm having Davian Korran/Javert stay behind to finish up the starting house search, and then breaching the northwest house to join others once he's done.

Also, sorry for forgetting to remind you at the beginning of this run, but could everybody please bold their actions/plans? Especially if you're putting it in small font (which I'd prefer you not to do) or changing your mind about something? It'll make collating actions much easier, thanks!

So yeah, anyway, Link pokes around the left warehouse on 5 Jack Way.



Waffles rejoins the main group and promptly reveals his martial arts background in the Logan School of Douchebaggery by throwing a dead laptop at Zelda as soon as he gets there. He misses, though it's a fairly amazing accomplishment all the same given that he's a bite-sized little fluffy wuffly puppy with paws instead of hands, which are more optimized for laptop-throwing.



Yup, that sure is a burning hot mutual-hate relationship. Probably should try to do something about that. Maybe. Only if you want to.

Anyway, since sitting around watching for zombies is boring, I send Link over to investigate the northwest warehouse at 4 Eagle Drive while Zelda and Kaneda continue to search.



Javert silently rejoins the group at this point. Zelda finishes the search and starts working out instead, trying to build up some muscles so she can beat the shit out of Waffles the Cute and Murderous Puppy when he gets back.



You also have 14 ingredients and 15 snacks.

Waffles will rejoin the group in the next turn, so give me the actions you want your characters to do while we wait for his puppy highness. Also, vote on which building you want to breach after he rejoins you: the west warehouse, the northwest warehouse, or the northern store. I'm assuming you all want to breach as a group unless you specify otherwise. Don't forget to take into account the fact that Zelda and Waffles now hate each other!

I vote everyone but Waffles breach the north store. And that when we have enough food there should be a grand, glorious feast.

I'd make a hate sex joke if half of the involved party wasn't a dog.

[Which means that I agree on this plan.]

What are you talking about? Hate sex jokes are always funnier when half of the involved party is a dog.

I second this plan. Let's breach the store, find some food and make a feast ASAP. As much as I'd like to economize in food, relationship problems will only get worse if we let them be.

*snicker*

Dog hate-sex always brings down moral.

Also, "Javert found a deck of playing cards."

I can just imagine Javert holed up in his room, trying to play whist with himself, mumbling about being stuck in a house of raving lunatics who don't even know how to play proper games.

Javert actually just tried to play solitaire with himself! But then I cancelled it because I remembered that DK wanted him to make traps instead. OOPS. Sorry, Javert!

You also might want to start thinking about where to go after having the feast.

After the feast if the store if completely searched, we should probably finish up seaching the small buildings of this area. What about we breach the house at the top left and then the warehouse Link investigated? If we get any big weapons, we might want to assault a more imponent building. Which one depends on our needs at the time, but it might be wise to stock up on medical supplies.

A pack of raving lunatics, indeed :D

The general plan this time is to breach the northern store and hold a feast.



Poor little doggie, all alone in the house with nothing but a dead laptop for protection. (Yes, I took away all the good weapons muahahaha.) Since I'd rather he spend as little time as possible with Zelda, I have him clean up the corpses in the house while the others breach the store.



All that exercise is working out well for our princess. Zelda takes out her fury at Waffles on the zombies and manages to score the highest kill rate out of all the survivors! Take that, Link! Who's the one needing protection here, eh?

Meanwhile, Waffles finishes cleaning up the corpses, and I send him to the store. Again, not wanting him to spend too much time with a knuckle-cracking Zelda, I send him out to patrol outside the store for zombies... and it pays off!



I send Link to investigate the bank because there's not much else to do. Javert has some good clean fun with guillotines and spikes.



Finally, the large meal is complete! We'll have to wait two hours to use it though. Perhaps you could take this time to breach the upper left corner house, as Kaneda suggested? Or would you like to do something else?



This is the current state of our relationships. Due to Zelda not having to see Waffles's ugly mug for a while, their relationship has improved slightly.



You also have 7 ingredients, 1 large meal, and 19 snacks.

Clearly I should have made her Spirit Tracks Zelda.

I'm up for breaching the house.

I love how despite having a good, unprejudiced relationship, Zelda still didn't care for my plan. I wonder if it is because I'm poor, or because I'm a cat?

As I said, I'm up for breaching that house over there. If the others don't want to, though, we could just send the puppy for a walk and wait it out.

Maybe your plan just sucked.

I would guess the actual reason is that Waffles was involved in it. Damn you, Waffles! *shakes fist*

Uneducated Surgeon vs Wardrobing Yandere, Bartender vs Plant, Magical Princess vs Adorable Puppy

This game has the best rivalries.

And now I have made proper defenses, I see signs of violence. Thusly:

Tell me quickly
What's the story?
Who saw what and why and where?
Let him give a full description
Let him answer to Javert!
In this nest of undead vipers
Let one speak who saw it all
Who laid hands on Princess Zelda?
What's the substance of this brawl?

(I'm fine with the feast. I'll reply to everything else and apply formatting here when I get off this retarded PHONE)

We'll probably feast in two hours, which is the earliest we can do it.

Would you like to wait those out, breach the house in the upper left corner with me, Zelda and maybe Link, or do something different? Like singing. Please keep singing.

And don't speak French. He probably thinks Hyrule is Scandinavia, and when he tries to have quiet time, Link plays the Ocarina or the cat and dog fight. Surrounded by barbarians is what he is.

I'm all for sending him breaching with you, but this reminds me...

Do traps work in houses you're not in? I mean, if I leave a trap in a location we leave, can a zombie still trip it?

HE WILL NEVER STOP SINGING SO LONG AS HE LIVES.

I actually have no idea. I certainly hope so. I might have to ask the developers about that.

So I'm gathering we're sending the whole group over to breach the house? Or should we leave somebody (like the innocent, harmless little puppy) to guard the fort (and stop Zelda from asphyxiating him with her new-found upper body strength)?

I believe we best keep le chiot out of Milady's way. He can consider guarding the house his incarcaration for his crimes against royalty. I have been informed we apparently have no prisons. Or brands. *grumble*

Leave Waffles at home for a hour or two and then send him to feast with us, I think?

I agree. So he can sit and think about what he has done.

Just FYI, I'll be leaving the large meal at home with Waffles. Breaching the house will leave behind lots of corpses, which might cause the large meal to spoil. And that wouldn't be good. I'm assumed we were going back to the store to have the feast, but would you rather have the feast at the upper left corner house instead? In which case I can have Waffles bring the large meal with him after you're done breaching and cleaning up the corpses.