Let'z Play Catz, the game that hatez the letter 'S'

Hello there. I'm new to Broken Forum, but I've been lurking for a few months, and I figured it's time to de-lurk! And what better way to do that than to start my very own Let's Play?


(I don't think I like the look that Catz is giving me...it's as if he is staring into my very soul)

I'll be playing Catz - Your Virtual Petz Palz, a game for the Gameboy Color. I've never played this version before, but I did play several of their other computer version Petz gamez games. Let's get started!

Desperately trying to ignore the fact that pet shouldn't be plural in those first two uses, hnnngg-
Okay, so naturally, we can't do anything without a "Petz", so let's get picking.

Here are my options:

Wait, what? Now they're okay with using the letter 's'? Seriously? Okay sure, fine, whatever, be like that. I don't care. More importantly, "TRY" is a really weird way of saying that I can play with the Petz before I adopt them. I've never had anyone ask me if I would like to try a cat before I adopted it.
So, let's TRY some Catz.

This is Jester:

He is rather spazzy, and follows the hand around as if it is stuffed with Catznip or something.
Cute, but uninteresting.

Lets TRY Homebody.

He is the fluffiest of the bunch, which should be a plus, but he meows EVERY TEN SECONDS.
And since this game isn't very advanced, it is the same exact meow sound, over and over and over.

Okay, last Catz, Sophisto.

I'm sorry, did I call Jester a spazz? He's got nothing on Sophisto here, who did nothing but run around the screen so often that I couldn't get a shot of him not running. He also meowed quite a bit, and yes, it was the same meow that Homebody had.

Wow. TRYing the Catz didn't really leave a good impression on me: I'm not partial to any of them.
So I'll leave it up to you guys to decide which Catz is going to become my very own Virtual Petz Pal.

I'm not zeeing a zeriouz problem here. Iz there zomething I'm mizzing?

Alzo, go for Jezter.

Zalutationz! It muzt juzt be me that zeez how zilly it iz to replace zeveral "s"z with "z"z and then leaving the rezt, then.
All theze "z"z are putting me to zleep.

Maybe they're trying to bring back the idea of the long s?

I think it was one of those sad examples of misplaced attempts at being edgy in the 90s.
Well, whatever their intentions were, I can't blame them for getting tired of it so quickly.

The first one.

Alright, since I'm bored and Jezter is clearly the best option, I'll be going for him.
I'd rather have an uninteresting cat than one that would drive me crazy, anyways.
And I already have 10 cats at home, so I think I know a thing or two about CRAZY.

My cat is 14 years old and senile. It's kind of funny and sad.

Aww, I also have an older cat. Is your's frightened of everything? Mine never used to be, until she got into her old age...

Anyways, on with the Catz.
So I hit the ADOPT button for Jester and then I see that I can actually re-name Jester!

The outcome of this should have been obvious.

What's next to do? Oh that's right, we get to PAINT our new Catz. With a paint bucket. Pleaze don't call PETA on me.
Most of the colour options were natural colours...

And then there was pink.
Purrrfect. What? It's a game about cats, I couldn't not make that joke.

Next up, I'm told to sign a pledge.


Blahblah tl;dr, agree.
Kidding! Remember kids, always read the fine print. If you don't, Satan will come and steal your soul if you are late in paying for your washing machine.

When I zee all of the 's'' replaced with 'z's, i think i am reading french people being french.

Ze game, it iz how you zay, 90'z and "radical", no?

/clapping like an excited child

Reading accents makes me happy~

Okay, so I adopted (and renamed and painted) Jezter!

...STOP STARING AT ME WITH THOSE SOULLESS EYES!
Uhh, I mean, hello little virtual kitty cat! Uh, uhm, okay, what's there to do?


Status, huh? Might as well check that, I ain't got nothing better to do.
Let's see how Jezter is doing!

Everything looks go--wait, what's that?
Your grooming is low?
YOU MUST BE PERFECT, HOW CAN I FIX THIS?
To the stuff menu!
30 minutes of looking for the stuff menu later:

Aha! A brush, exactly what I need to make my Catz not look like a filthy street cat.
I wonder if Jezter will like being brushed or not? I know most real cats hate it...let's find out.

...He stared into the distance, wondering why he was cursed to suffer this fate.
Actually, I don't blame him for looking so terrified. The brush makes a sound like fingernails scraping down the blackboard.

After what felt like an eternity, his grooming is finally at an acceptable level.
...Hey, what's that button over there....RETIRE?
That had better not mean what I think it means, or else PETA is seriously going to come after me.

I figured Jezter must be getting a little bored in his tiny little world, so I give him a ball of yarn to play with

Naturally he loves it. He plays for a little bit, then seems to get bored with it and go to sleep.
I try giving him a bowl of food, since I'm not sure how his hunger meter works.

He knocked it around in the same manner he played with the yarn.
My cat is an idiot.
So I try giving him a fishy treat instead. (It kinda looks like a Goldfish cracker...)

He tries to hunt it.
Idiot. At least he eats it.
Maybe he's not too hungry, since he only ate a small treat. Let's see what the other items do!

I found this weird object, and when I use it and click on Jezter, it makes this weird noise and he meows.
Naturally, I do it multiple times, since it seems to have no other affect. Let's check his status!

Seems oka----AHDFDJGHT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HEALTH?!?
WAS I KILLING YOU WITH THAT MYSTERY ITEM!?
WHY IS THAT EVEN AN OPTION, OH GOD!

Is it just me or does the pink look like bald patches?

Well, now that he's dying, I suppose they do look a little like bald spots.

I-I don't understand. Why would they even give you the option of a mysterious item that may or may not cause your Pet(z) to die?! D:

I have no idea, but I really wish I hadn't clicked on him with it quite so many times.
And by the looks of his Health bar, if I had clicked on him one more time...

After my horrible accidental murder attempts on poor poor Jezter, he has just been laying there.
Breathing heavily. DYING BECAUSE OF ME.
So I tried giving him some food and water.
He drank the water and ate the food, and then went immediately back to sleep.

He wouldn't even look at me, oh god, I'm so sorry, Jezter!!

Eventually he woke up, and ambled around a little.
Brushing him seemed to make him happy earlier, so I tried it again.

He sat there and let me brush him.

He's now considerably happier and more affectionate from earlier, but his health is still ultra low and I have no idea how to fix that. D=

That goldfish was poisoned. I smell something fishy.

Take him to the vet!

I give him a nice little pillow to sleep on, since that seems to be the only thing he wants to do right now.


So then I click around on the menu and THERE'S NO VET, DAMNIT.
Defeated, I return to watch this poor creature sleep an-

AHHH

He's staring into your soul.

And he just stood there and stared at me.
I thought maybe I had forgotten to unpause, but no, he was just standing there.
Staring at me with those huge, unblinking, pixel eyes.

Jezter has begun to scratch at the very walls of reality!
(on a different note, why are the floorboards sideways if the whole house is just this one small square?)


I decided to check his Status again, and his health is looking a little better!

Not by much, though. =/ He's still pretty chipper for an almost-dead guy, though!

On a totally unrelated note, I hate how incriminating it looks when I pet him:

you know, this game is starting to look like a good way to discourage kids from wanting a pet.

"MOMMY I KILLED IT"
"what did you do, sweetie"
"I MADE IT MEOW"
"do you still want a cat"
"NO I'LL JUST KILL IT AAAHHHHH"

As his health slowly but surely continues to recover, I find myself getting a little bored.
I decide to mess around with the paint can because hey, that shouldn't result in accidental murdertastic times, right?

Hellllooo, what's this?

Paint background you say? Mmyes, that sounds quite good (and non-lethal), let's do that, shall we?

Show me whatchu got, game!

Two outdoorsy ones and a buttload of random backgrounds.
I screencapped the confetti background because it was the best random background.

Ultimately, I decided on the outside in the grass one, since recovering patients really need fresh air.

Jezter drinks more water and then falls asleep on the grass.
Poor pixely baby.

holy hell, those random vomit colors make me think of the 90s.

I honestly think Jezter is starting to go crazy.
He stood in this corner for a full minute, batting his paw at NOTHING.
I think he sees dead people.

After his weird batting-at-ghosts moment, he suddenly started spinning in circles.

Uhh, I think we might have to call the exorcist.
But that might be expensive, so I just threw a scratching post in there with him to distract him from the demons in his skin.

Success. Clearly I am the greatest cat owner ever.
To prove this, here is a picture of 1/10 of my actual cats wearing a dress.

I gave Jezter the ugliest background I could find because I have been playing this game way too long and I'm starting to hate him.

Also, I looked up the point to this game.
You're supposed to basically wait until the cat is super old, then retire him with awesome stats, in order to unlock rarer cats that are harder to take care of.

SO WITH THAT IN MIND, LETS GET ANOTHER CAT! (I have said 'lets get another cat' waaayyy too many times in my life)

Going with the 90s "radical" theme here. This also was pretty obvious.


He's fluffy, so I couldn't resist making him orange.
Hmm, he's making me hungry...

oh god make this a 90s cats and backgrounds and names LP
REMIND ME OF MY YOUTH

"Make this"? I thought it was already.
But in all seriousness there isn't much else to this game. It's really hardly even a game. More of an interactive background, really. So if you or anyone else can think of any other hideously bad 90s games for me to play, I will certainly get right on that.

Oh God Petz 5 was my childhood. Those memories of crashing the game because I had 654353246 cats~ A pity I can\t get the games to work on this computer.

Retire the sick cat.

ANGELICA MALL GAME FOR THE GBA.
I don't remember what it was called specifically, but I know that my cousin had that game when I was younger and she left it at my grandmother's house one weekend and never remembered to pick it back up, so I started playing it and it was SO BAD and I was SO ADDICTED.

i don't know if it would be a good LP (most likely not), but it's worth playing on your own because it's just that bad.

He would have never recovered from whatever mortal wounds I inflicted on him by accident, anyways.

Is it one of those games where you run around on several different levels collecting items and being attacked by strange things? Because it sounds like one.
And I hate those. But I will play the hell out of it if I can find it.

Ohh, noo, would you look at that, Homeboy ran away.
I'm so hertberkn. 4 realz.


On the plus side, there's a new Catz!
But he's basically the same as Jezter.
So Sophisto it is!
....I have no idea what to change his name to.

New cat is Chuck.

(one of my real cats is named Charlie and his nickname is Chuck, so I won't name something I will probably hate after him)