Matches & Matrimony: A Seriously Classy Lets Play.

It's a dating game.

About Jane Austen protagonists.

HOW COULD I RESIST?



So the game starts with your horrifying parents having a serious chat about the rich and eligable Mr. Bingly that has just moved in next door. It's all very familiar.



VERY FAMILIAR. And they are doing such a good job of modeling what a good relationship looks like for their three eligable daughters. Anyway, it's time to get this Regency party started.



AW YEAH

I cannot hit the Like button hard enough.

So very yes.

These are the halcyon days of gaming. Also, an advance welcome to the arriving Fangies from QT3 and the internet at large.

Bollocks is way too excited to have me controlling her life. Clearly she didn't see how the TMGS2 Lets Play turned out.



Matches and Matrimony is more of a life sim than a visual novel. You choose daily activities to raise your stats, which gate the special events and dialog options that you get on the weekend. In that, it's rather similar to the Tokimeki games and has more gameplay than, say, Hatoful Boyfriend or Katawa Shoujo.

Of course, since we are playing a Regency-era woman, things like "go outside" count as special activities.



Oh Bollocks. I don't know if I am more disappointed in you for drawing the help or for using an apostrophe for a plural. Either way, more reading on the schedule for you.

Personally I want more fat bird, but I will take what I can get.

After a long, hard week of taking walks outside and mangling the English language, it's time for a ball! A country ball!



Oh, so it's going to be that kind of ball. Well, I suppose I can be up fo--



Mr. Bingley! I don't know what you have heard about the country but that is wholey inappr--

oh.

Nevermind.



Daaaawwwwwwwww, lookit the adorable little moppet with the cute little dimples and the foofy hair! I want to pinch his cheeks and give him cookies and there's no way I can take him seriously as a romantic figure. Sigh.



Oh look, insufferable bitches. Every Jane Austin work needs insufferable bitches.



ALL MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE THANK YOU BABY JESUS

Your parents are George Washington with a tumor on his chin and an giraffe-woman cyborg.

I'm also surprised it took five minutes for the rumor of Mr. Darcy's income to spread when there were only seven other people in the room.

My BFF Charlotte gets the first dance with Mr. Bingley and afterwards, I interrogate her on if she's gonna totally marry him.



Wow, that's grim.



Bollocks ain't buying what Charlotte is selling, look at that face.



Ruthless pragmatism or clinical depression: you decide!



Her lips are smiling but her eyes are crying out for the sweet release of death.



HA HA CHARLOTTE IT'S SO FUNNY THAT YOU'RE OLD NOW

That grin could not possibly be more forced.



Oh god. Look at that face. I can feel my own will to live being sapped.



It appears that I am the real insufferable bitch around here.

I drew the false conclusion from this game's title that there would be arson involved. Oh well, I'll probably stick around anyway. Also, due to my having read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I am now an expert on Victorian era sexual politics and preferred methods of dispatching the undead. I am ready for anything.

Oh my god, Charlotte's dead lifeless eyes.

I was wondering what the prime marriage age was in the Victorian era. I found this, but it didn't answer the question. This told me that men could marry as young as fourteen with parental consent and women could marry as young as twelve with parental consent, but women generally married between the ages of eighteen and twenty-three. That seems kind of high.

Maybe I ought to go after Mr. Bingley after all, we are both horrible, horrible friends.



I forgot, no one can out-bitch Mr. Darcy.



On one hand DAT SMIRK, on the other THAT'S MY SISTER YOU JERK



AUGH if Bingley smiles any larger he's going to swallow his own head. But he is kind enough to offer to introduce me to Mr. Darcy.



He likes them handsome.



Even Mr. Bingley is shocked by Mr. Darcy's frank admission that he loves adultery.

I love that her reaction every time I piss someone off is to make her "Just as planned" face.

We get home from the ball and I ask my sister, Jane, what she thinks of Mr. Bingley. 'Cause if Charlotte's not gonna bang him, I am dying to know who will.



Oh honey no. That is not a fetching look for you.



NOT SO CLOSE MERCIFUL CHRIST

This is the most beautiful creature Mr. Bingley has ever seen. This is the only tolerably handsome woman in the room, according to Mr. Darcy.



So now I am a shallow, insufferable bitch who enjoys pissing people off.

Yeah, that sounds about right.



Even when passing on the opportunity to stake my claim on Bingley I can't be nice.



Poor sweet, stupid Jane.

Everything is proceeding as I have forseen.

Jane and I started discussing Mr. Darcy and Jane is disappointed that I hates him. She suggests that maybe if we had danced together we would have gotten along better.



And with those amazing facial expressions, I'm going to call it a night.

TOMORROW: HOT HOT NUSING MY ILL SISTER WHILE BICKERING WITH BACHELORS AND THEIR SISTERS ACTION.

"Read a book! Read a book! Read a mutherfucking book!"

Those aren't human women, those are ostriches in human suits.

I wonder if you could turn other great works of literature into dating games?

Anna Karenina: the game - Would you leave your boorish husband for the charming cavalryman, or stick it out and try to make your marriage work? Experience Victorian society in Russia as you've never seen it before!

Jane Eyre: the game - Work your way up from rags to riches! Who is the mysterious Mr. Rochester, and why has he suddenly become so fascinated with you? Will you manage to see beyond his cruel exterior before the beautiful but greedy Blanche Ingram steals his heart?

Glad to see you're still doing LPs Angie.

Does Dad stand there popping his color in every single scene?

Also, Darcy's introduction shot is the first time I've understood the appeal of the character.

Awesome. Does the game pretty much just follow the plot of pride and prejudice?

Naw, that's about right, though of course Jane Austen predates the Victorian era by about 50 years. Elizab - I mean, Bollocks - is twenty years old and Charlotte is... I dunno. 27, maybe? Freaking ancient.

According to the marketing blurb:

"Become the heroine of Jane Austen's most popular novels! Create your own storyline from the intersecting stories of 3 of Miss Austen's books as you pick your daily routine and choose your own path to happiness and fortune. With 9 different endings to be discovered, Matches & Matrimony can be played again and again as you create your own classic tale of romance."

I'm guessing that the other two will be Sense and Sensibility and Emma.

The Diary of Anne Frank? It would either be very short, or long and kinda creepy.

Wonderful!!! But as others have pointed out, Regency, not Victorian...

P&P is the best book ever. You should so marry the boring vicar

The brown-nosing, moralising, pompous social climber of a vicar? That's just cruel!

And I totally called this in the other thread!

Well first let me say that Bollocks is incredibly endearing, those are some amazing facial expressions. I too am a fan of her "Everything according to the plan" face. Checking post 17 it appears to be a family trait.

She's on the screen some times and not others. Does this mean that she's not actually present in those other scenes and the game is switching perspective, or is she only displayed when she's going to be talking?

Man, what is the point of Regency necklines if Bollocks is gonna keep her hand in front of the goods the whole time.

Uh, I mean, AWESOME LETS PLAY ANGIE

Next time I read a Jane Austen book I'll either have flashbacks from this thread and be too traumatised to get past page 3, or I'll be imagining those cold dead eyes and misshapen faces and fly through the books giggling. Sounds good to me.

Also: holy shit Mrs Bennett in that first picture! The eyes! The eyes!

Yes, the wonderful Mr Collins

I'm fascinated that they appear to have managed a game where every line does in fact come from the book. Though so far we haven't seen what choices you have in dialog, just in your daily activities.

Also, I think it's important to point out that it's only Mrs. Bennett who is horrifying. Mr. Bennett is rational, sarcastic, and compassionate. So much so that it's hard to understand why in the world he married such a grasping ninny.

It's explained in the book. He married her when she was young and cute, not realising she was an idiot

Here you go

'Her father, captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman whose weak understanding and illiberal mind had very early in their marriage put and end to all real affection for her. Respect, esteem, and confidence had vanished for ever; and all his views of domestic happiness were overthrown. But Mr. Bennet was not of a disposition to seek comfort for the disappointment which his own imprudence had brought on, in any of those pleasures which too often console the unfortunate for their folly of their vice. He was fond of the country and of books; and from these tastes had arisen his principal enjoyments. To his wife he was very little otherwise indebted, than as her ignorance and folly had contributed to his amusement. This is not the sort of happiness which a man would in general wish to owe to his wife; but where other powers of entertainment are wanting, the true philosopher will derive benefit from such as are given. "

I.e. he made a poor marriage, but didn't end up separating or taking a mistress.

So far it appears that Bollocks doesn't appear in scenes that she overhears but does not participate in. It'll be interesting to see what the rules governing what scenes we see are as the game continues.

"You have liked many a stupider person." = *Jane likes you more*

Clearly the insufferable shallow bitch strategy is working! Also, Jane likes it rough.

Wonder who's going to be the Fatbird of this particular tale? Cuz this needs more HOHOHOHO

Makes sense that she likes Mr. Bingley, the horrible friend, then.

I love this so much. It needs to be his catchphrase or something.

That should be the bad ending (if it isn't already).

The pity is, while the synergy between Regency romance and dating games is an inspired concept (and I didn't even enjoy Pride and Prejudice!), the production values torpedo any chances of suspending disbelief.

The game should have had art by Kate Beaton. And writing by Kate Beaton. Anyway, back into the fray.

So my crazy-ass mom makes Jane go over to the Bingley's in the rain or some shit and Jane comes down with a cold blah blah SHE CANNOT BE MOVED IN SUCH A DELICATE CONDITION so Bollocks has to make the hike over to take care of her.



I love both the facial expressions in this shot. I love them even more with that particular line of dialog. It's like two sadists being coy with one another.



Too late now, Bingley. Bollocks has seen through to your true nature, and apparently she isn't entirely displeased by it.



Since there was some interested in it earlier, this is what it looks like when I get to a decision point in a conversation. Notice that Bingley seems to be completely astounded by the UI. I'm going to keep flattering Bingley since I was a jerk to him at the party and we seem to have a lot of bad traits in common.



Yeah, immediately jump to marriage with an obviously calculating expression. No way that could go wrong.



GOOD JOB BOLLOCKS

And that's a mighty pervy expression for sister-checkin', I gotta say.