Open ended gameplay! Engrishy translations! Spiky hair! Let's play SaGa Frontier!

Headcanon: Asellus is a pokemon trainer. Mersarthim is her answer to Pikachu. White Rose is Team Rocket.

That theory causes a lot of RPGs to make much more sense.

... White Rose is making the jokes very fine on her own right now.

It also causes a lot of RPGs to be much more awesome.

It's kinda terrifying to see the full extent of White Rose's stockholm syndrome. I'd feel sorry for her if I wasn't always so busy facepalming whenever she opened her mouth.

On the plus side, Asellus remains terrific!

With luck, terrific enough to get through Rose's bald skull Orlouge is a pratt one of these days.

Alternatively, stuff her in a Pokéball, too.

Maybe all those coffins are some sort of proto-pokeball. But it's a pain to adventure while hauling around a wagon full of coffins--and tricky to fit into cutscenes taking place inside buildings--so someone had to invent a better approach.

Oh god, I just had a mental image of Orlouge wearing Ash's red baseball cap. I will never unsee that.

This thread has proven to be first stop for THINGS YOU CANNOT UNSEE NOR UNLEARN.

I thought it was a bathtub, not an aquarium... ? :o

I dunno... Looks like a tub to me, too.

Do it.

So, I guess I was half right? She really DID get injured and he came to rescue her... but, then wouldn't let her leave because he wuuuubs her~

Not sure really, the graphics are kinda low-res enough that it could be either. Though I have to admit, sticking her in a bathtub is kind of a hilarious mental image XD

Well, at the very least, that makes him slightly less of a cock than Orlouge

Also, fan art time!

I don't see anything?

Mersarthim is incredibly hot in that first pic. O///O This game's characters really love their star nips, don't they? xD

Yeah, sorry, something seems to have gone wrong. I'll try fix it once I'm back from work

Alright, fanart is fixed and should be viewable now! Enjoy your star shaped nipple pasties!

---

Alright, we've got our mermaid, let's jet!




Huh, guess we should have figured it wouldn't be that easy. As an aside, I'm not sure why, but Asellus's running sprite makes this scene strangely funny to me.



Can’t we just walk around the mansion?

If that’s what she wants. But, please don’t leave the house.

Dude. We barged into your house, told you straight to your face that we are here to free your captive mermaid and are now asking to have the freedom to walk around your house while carrying your mermaid on our shoulder. No offense, but you are naive as shit.



Oh well, I had to try. On a related note, how the hell is the front door locked from the outside?



She might be the hero, but no one ever said Asellus was above petty larceny.

Oh! And here's a bit of trivia; a Kris is a traditional Malay weapon, famous for it's curved blade, which gives the weapon it's distinctive look as well as making it absolutely useless as an actual weapon. Amusingly, the game is aware of that, as it's an accessory rather than an usable blade.



Geez, I wonder if we should go there.



We've survived face needling, back stabbing and highway carriage accidents! Just how dangerous could a silly little basement be?



Alright, I do have to ask what sort of lunatic keeps live monsters in his basement, but eh, we've seen worse! We can handle this! TO FREED-



SON OF A BITCH



BITCH OF A SON
Also, notice the little heart above that cactus's head? The little bastard is loving this.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

Needles-in-your-face is turning into some sort of a running gag XD

I was almost sure we'd run into cacti when you entered the basement and I still laughed out loud at BITCH OF A SON. Well played, good sir.

Cacti are looking like the most dangerous enemies in the game so far~ :D

OH THEY ARE

*furtively writes Cactus/Asellus UST fic, wherein Cactus longs eternally for Asellus but can never find true love because Cactus can only communicate via NEEDLES TO THE FACE*

Goddammit Fade, it's past midnight, everyone in the house is asleep, and I'm bursting out laughing because of you XD

Cactus-chan is tsundere~

Which is actually, I think, better than yandere cacti stalking you because they love the face you make when they needle you.

Would you say that Cactus-chan would make a better lover for Asellus than White Rose and Gina?

I won't rule out Gina yet, but Princess Stockholm has some serious issues that may or may not be more serious than flinging needles at Asellus' face.

Well, they're dedicated at least?

Between "Coffins are love!" and "Needles are love!", Asellus may be best off with silent longing girl after all. Though I'm willing to give the mermaid a chance! Even if I'm going to end up speculating on how the physical aspects of that would work.

...okay, why am I hanging up on that when I didn't wonder about how cactus anatomy would--no. No. I am not going to contemplate either of these things further. Back to writing UST and unrequited longing.

What does it say about me that I've actually seen enough mermaid/lamia/naga hentai that your comment immediately brought to my mind the most common workaround to the Fisherman's Dilemma?

edit:
BECAUSE I CANNOT LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE
HERE IS A DIAGRAM

There's a NAME for it?!

Unless I'm mistaken, yes. I believe it comes from an old story... Except I did a search for it and found nothing relevant, realizing that it's actually the MERMAID Dilemma. But yeah, either way there's a name for it.

That diagram raises EVEN MORE QUESTIONS. Which I am not going to ask. Ever. At all.

*FISHERMAN'S DILEMMA*

I...what...? *walks away slowly*

But before I go, have some fanart:

Scared off the OP with fetish discussion?

MISSION ACCOMPRISHED

and I have just realized the perfect reference to make



(because I could not a find a clip of him saying just the one line)

We need to get Asellus Volt's crossed out Cactuar jacket.

If you know what I'm talking about, let me know so I can high five you. /obscure reference

Do want; will read.

Sentence is bad enough as it is, even worse out of context.

YES.

It would involve some major pollination.

My exact reastion too, Fade.

Blonde geek is really growing on me. Too bad not on this route.

Slowly making our way through treacherous dungeons and yandere face needling, we finally find ourselves at the end of the mansion's basement...



...which is guarded by a giant squid. Of course. What the fuck is wrong with the Lord of Owmi???



Oh well, guess we'll have to sashimi his ass before we can smuggle Mersarthim to freedom.

He might be big, but he's an soft bodied, aquatic invertebrate on land! He's probably flopping about waiting for someone to put him out of his misery! Let's do this!



Wait, what!? Holy fuck, THIS GUY CAN SUMMON TSUNAMIS



SON OF A BITCH

























Ha! Thought I was gonna end yet another update with Asellus getting her ass kicked, didn't you!? Not this time!

Yeah, the fucking basement tsunami hurt like hell, but Asellus totally learned a new skill; Deflect, which allows her to shield herself and her friends from attacks. With this, she managed to keep the party relatively safe from harm.



Sick of being life's punching bag, Asellus finally snaps and hulks out on his ass, unleashing the full power of the Asura!





Seriously, I wish the pictures could accurately convey how cool this attack is!



Victory! And sushi for all!
We're totally making a cannibal out of Mersarthim.

Cannibal mermaid? Sounds like fun.

ALL HAIL ASELLUS, KICKER OF ASSES, VICTIM OF CACTI!

Can I just say that 'Victim of Cacti' is the best title I've ever seen? xD

To be fair it was mostly of your making, but yes, I like how it came out XD