Political Cartoons 2013: Click Here To Hate Yourself

Haha! Stupid Obama making laws against hostage taking! CRIMINALS DON'T FOLLOW LAWS MORAN!
I don't post "Animal Nuz" speaking of terrible Left Wing cartoons:


And yes, the GOP is literally having a meeting on a former plantation where they are trying to give members tips on how not to alienate women and minorities.

...wow.
So, I'll start: COOKIE DOUGH DOES NOT NEED YEAST. Like at all, I bake, literally, thousands of cookies a year, I'm baking some later today in fact, and have never once, ever, used yeast in my cookies.


WHEN WILL IT END??

And a bunch about a football player and his fake girlfrienwhogiveashit

Well, (most) cookies do need a raising agent of some sort, however it can be V, W or Z, but very rarely (or never? I can't recall any recipes with) Y(east).

Who has ever said you couldn't get elected President if you were Southern?

The North?

Right. But he specifically says "yeast", right there under the panel of Waifu...holding a bulge..."yeast"
I mean I'm not even going into how Muiry Sue's bright white scar goes up into his hair.

It's really nice of Muir to acknowledge that men were maybe a little sexist at one point. Also, I feel like I should punch him in the face repeatedly, should I ever get the chance.

As for Southern presidents, uh. Does Virginia not count as the South for some reason? Did I miss something? Because a lot of presidents were from there, mister cartoonist.

Why does Cartoon!Muir have a scar?

Carter was the first southern politician to be elected to his own first term as president since the Civil War. Both Johnsons originally arrived in office due to an assassination. It may seem quaint in these post-Clinton years, but I remember the press making a moderately big deal about it at the time.

Um. Woodrow Wilson?

Governor of New Jersey, President of Princeton... not exactly a "southern politician".

Oh, my bad, he only grew up (his late teens were even during Reconstruction), went to college, and practiced law in the South. Totally a Yankee.

I'm gonna attempt to channel Muir to defend his comic:

You would say that, you liberal feminist probably missing a testicle so therefor pretty much a woman amirite America ruiner. Your undermining of my beautiful metaphor shows how truly Democrat you are, you partisan ladyman. No man who respects "male values" would know shit about making cookies. I bet you like wearing women's clothing.




I actually thought that comic was a parody of DbD at first. It also ends with I'm reading as a bad boner joke?

So: post-Civil War only, not counting Presidents who took office due to assassination even if they were reelected afterward, also not counting southerners who held office in the North at some point or who were raised in Kansas, which I guess counts as the North because it wasn't in the Confederacy even though it's geographically Southern (assuming that we're only talking about a North/South divide), and also not counting Presidents from Missouri even though that was a slave state, I suppose because it wasn't in the Confederacy either. That is a hell of a lot of qualifications.

If you think the media shouldn't have mentioned it back in 1976, call them up and ask them to issue retractions. I'm sure they'll get right on that.

Was it just "Southern Politicians"? Politicians who had served Southern States? I could see that being an issue because that was right about the "Southern Strategy" time

I'm sure that was part of it. But I was just a paperboy delivering papers from my bicycle. Nobody asked me for editorial input.

What the Hell is going on with her hand and stomach in the second panel

I was wondering that too. Based on what I know about Muir's art style and knowledge of female anatomy, she might be pregnant, she might have temporarily put on some weight, she might have a tumor, she might be masturbating, she might have just eaten a big meal, or Muir's hand might have just slipped when he was drawing it and he was too lazy to go back and fix it.

I wish you guys could have seen Marged 's face just now when I showed her Day By Day for the first time.

He obviously knows as much about the female anatomy as he does baking or other "facts".
hence the big jizz stain on his face youse were wondering about, dude jacks it constantly cause there's no way in hell he gets women with his attitudes.

a) duh yes welcome to the thread

b) wtf is wrong with you?

It's why he's looking in the fridge. The woman failed to make him a sandwich.

I think she's measuring how much flab she's gained since Xmas. It looks familiar.

The best part for me (besides the earthshattering admittance that once, in the long, long ago "Men were maybe a little bit too sexist. Possibly.") is the implication that gun-toting, tyrant-hunting wifey is "just too damn caring".


Because uterus I guess

Oh, so THAT'S why the background is the same color as her dress! To hide whatever the fuck is happening there.

I cannot help but think he found some preggo porn to trace, I cannot stop thinking this to myself arghghghghgh.

Really I think we can all agree that Muir is just a more horrible version of Greg Land.

Aha. What kind of man would know such arcane details of bakery, except perhaps a man who was a CAPTAIN OF COOKIEPANTS!!!

Yeah that's got to be it. Now that you say it I can't see any other possibility.


:/

Today's episode of "I can't be bothered to actually draw anything today"

Happy to help!

As The Greatest US President Ever

Of course the Chinese won't accept payment with a US platinum coin that says $1 trillion. They'll only accept one trillion pieces of paper because everyone knows that one trillion pieces of paper that say "$1" is actually worth one trillion dollars.

I thought we weren't allowed to post pictures of brettmcd on here. Or was that just on QT3?

It's Gorrell, we're all lucky he didn't draw anything.


"Dint"
The ONLY way this makes sense, the ONLY way, is if these two were some sort of teleporting aliens. I mean try to imagine the flow of this conversation without quantum linear superposition.

...Executive Orders are part of his job. He's the head of the Executive Branch, he gets to do things like that.
"He must strike while the iron is hot."
"How do you know that?"
"Because that's how the fucking saying goes."

He's done he's done!
Drunky Duck's first cartoon back AFTER SPENDING OVER A MONTH COPYING AND PASTING THE SAME FUCKING DRAWING OF A DUCK ONTO A WALL OF TEXT is about how lazy federal employees are (or, less generously, about how MLK Day is a stupid holiday)




This times a billion


Remember how there was no violence before movies or video games?


Hahaha! HAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!

Now I know why this piece of shit is inflicted on us.

Oh for fucks sake.

)(CVU)(AHR:efhLOSTCARRIER

fuckyoudaybydayjustfuckyouokayfuckyooooooou

I especially hate the chains thing being said by the Black Mouthpiece, it just gives it an extra undercurrent of gross to me.

His message for a middle-ground between "bias" and "distrust," the Crips and the KKK, Crime and ??? is in BLACK AND WHITE AND THE BABIES ARE BLACK AND WHITE. Without the little McCoy in the bottom I'd think this is also parody (as with DbD above).

Storytime: When I grew up I was one of those terribly desensitized kids who watched all of those horribly violent movies and played all of those violent, violent videogames and was never particularily bothered by the violence in these media.
When I was about nine and thus well on my way to become one of those massmurdering youths of today, I got a collection of ancient myths by Gustav Schwab, which was first published in 1838 and went on to become one of my favourite books.
The only problem was, that I always had to put it down after every couple of pages, especially during the Illiad.
The violence was simply too much for me. I could only take a very limited amount of spears heroically thrust in diverse orifices and bodyparts bravely maimed and people generally being pretty shit to each other. Still, I persevered and finished the book and I certainly didn't regret it, even if it had made me feel rather queasy.
Thus prepared, I felt I was well-equipped to tackle another pillar of culture and history and bravely began to read the bible.
What a brave fool I was.