Political Jokes My Dad Sends Me

It's like that Herman Cain parody ad with MIke Tyson - "Republicans love crazy more than they hate black people".

Haha you're fighting an old. Might as well kickbox a paraplegic.

I enjoy arguing and being right so it's nothing but blue skies for my favorite hobby FOR ONCE ON THIS FUCKING SITE so I'm ok with it.
No, I'm not gonna change his mind, as with all conspiracy theorists his ego hinges on this. He's the lone voice of dissent, the single person who sees through all the lies, if he's not right he's just like everyone else.

My brother was passing through town yesterday and he had time enough to stop by for a couple hours. We haven't seen eachother in five years. I spent the first hour of his visit trying to poo-poo any political talk, and spent the last hour of his visit engaged in a political yelling match with him.

At the moment the words he speaks make him nothing more then a living, breathing, kool-aid drinking GOP supporter's Facebook Wall.

We had a good time, and it's not like our discussion devolved into genuine malice or anything, but it all felt like such a wasted opportunity, given how rarely we see eachother.

P.S. I don't use Facebook, but apparently my brother (and most of my extended family) does. There's a good chance I'm going to stumble across members of my family on one of those sites that are making fun of GOP folks crying on Facebook, because apparently that's all they've been doing for the last couple days.

You know what? Scratch all that, just send this:

HOLY SHIT IT REALLY WAS THE PIXELS

Tell him you know 'cause your gut tells you so.

As he has never seen Walters' birth certificate, how on earth can he know? You know that Walter is a foreign born marxist infiltrator just as surely as your cousin knows that Obama never read the constitution

Dudes. Walter E Williams hung out with the Fat Albert gang as a kid. True story.

Elyscape, Otterloop is doing you good, but you still gotta vet them facts!

Too easy: So I can assume you've seen Mister Williams birth certificate and college transcripts? And, exactly, how do you know where Williams was born?
Check and mate.


PS: I knew where he was born, I have the Google too, it's just a REALLY easy set up that every Birther charges into like Wile E hitting the side of a painted rock.

Elyscape. Dude. Using Otterloop as your ghost writer is like, oh, asking Karl Rove to plot your campaign strategy. It will all end in tears.

Just ask George Bush jr.

I reckon you sure told me.


How about this? Using Otterloop as your ghostwriter is like asking Glenn Beck to plan your lesbian sister's wedding to a nice Muslim girl. It will all end in tears and prison terms.

How about this? Using [user name] as your [job] is like asking [conservative celebrity] to plan your [minority relative]'s wedding to a nice [same sex minority]. It will all end in [noun] and [noun].

If only we could stay away from personal attacks, Otterloop could do what he does best: attack misinformed conservatives.

I think I'll handle this one like I handle most mad libs.

Using penis as your penis is like asking penis to plan your penis's wedding to a nice penis. It will all end in penis and penis!

Comedy gold!

FTFY

This is the best thread ever.

god, i hate that gif

Yes, Obama is the one who has divided this country along gender, class and race. He totally tricked the GOP into saying absolutely fucking idiotic things on those subjects. WILY.

And Obama has a doctorate too. That's DOCTOR President Obama to you!

And, again, BIIIIIIIG LIST full of stuff that can be disproven using google.

Elyscape, the fact that he insists that the birth certificate Obama gave wasn't his real birth certificate is indicative of what a fucking dipshit wackadoo you're talking to. That said, I donno why I'm bothering but...

Did Obama say "my Muslim faith"?

Though I wouldn't even show that to him. I'd just ask 'when did Obama say my Muslim faith?' See if he can find it. I bet he can't. Though if he doesn't even try to find it and just says 'some interview somewhere' you can show him that. Though he'll then insist it was a different interview.

Class, yes he has with his tax the 'rich' crap, the other two no he has not done that in my opinion.

Honey, perhaps you haven't noticed the demonizing of The Lazy Poors by the GOP that has happened for my entire fucking life.

Does Brett have to go to the hospital every time he posts?

I read that as "Lady Poors" but it would still work out. Welfare Queen isn't a term typically used by Dems.

Just because the gop demonizes from one side doesnt excuse the dems doing it from the other side. Its dividing by class no matter who does it.

No it isn't. You are bad at equivalences and you should feel bad.

Brett, my point was that Obama didn't wave his magic negro wand and divide the country over class (or gender or race or anything else). This country has been divided over class my entire life, so blaming Obama for it is, quite simply, utterly laughable.

Oh no, no no. Bahimiron if reason worked on these people they wouldn't be Birthers.
Here's what would happen:
"Show my where he said that."
"Ok *link to that exact video*"
"What? No, clearly in context he was putting 'Muslim faith' in quotes."
"Nope. Obama accidently told the truth."
"But weren't you JUST complaining about his ties to Rev. Wright? And his smoking? And drug use, and him eating pork?"
"Deep undercover stuff. Look how easily you're fooled."

Not to mention: BIIIIIG LIST. You are supposed to look and go, Gee what a big list, at least somethings on there must be true. And if you don't take the effort to go through every single item it proves the entire list is accurate. And, if you do go through and disprove every single item: there's another BIIIIIG LIST just waiting for you.

Conspiracy theorists have trouble parsing complex sentences, likely due to all the imaginary* voices in their head. Film at 11.



* or ARE THEY?!

I am now dealing with an acquaintance who thinks that Obama had the UN immediately meet about arms trading treaties so that... I dunno, somehow it all comes back to "OBAMA IS TAKING OUR GUNS AWAY." He links to an article on ReaganCoalition.com that reprints a Reuters article about this UN meeting as "proof."

In TEN FUCKING SECONDS ON GOOGLE, I find that Yahoo News reprinted the same Reuters article, but oh wait whats this? It's like three times longer than the article he linked! And oh wait why's that? Cuz in its entirety, it clearly explains that this UN meeting is about international exports and global arms trading regulations that would limit illegal gun trafficking.

The best part was that in this post of his, my acquaintance says "I'm just going to leave this here, I refuse to discuss this topic any longer. Tuesday was the nail in America's coffin, God save us all."

He's normally an intelligent guy, but he is incredibly ready and willing to be deceived by fringey chicken-little bullshit like this, and applies ZERO skepticism to any of that material - while refusing to believe anything published by a reputable news organization.

He does know that nobody even gets to run for president without being vetted by the Secret Service to make sure they're eligible, right? This shit about Pelosi is nonsense and has no basis in reality.

You can always send him the mother of all feel good email forwards. It'll perk him up.

It's PILOSI, gawd. And don't you know that SHE RUNS THE SECRET SERVICE, or should I say THE SS.