Pope retires

It's mostly because of this.

To be fair, the selling of indulgences and death bed gifts and land grants didn't exactly hurt, either.

It happened to come up as a joke elsewhere, but I thought the Baptists' efforts in Uganda might give an example of something that's funny in and of itself but horrific in terms of its implications.

The audio is NSFW, and, honestly, I think it's true no matter where you work. But the interesting part is the number of questions he raises, the sort of Nietszchean "you must become your [imaginary] enemy in order to hunt them" kind of situation in play. That's a man not getting laughed out of the room, and that's fucked.

Antipope! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGBHfXPqbgI

Could this be the final straw that led to the Pope's decision to resign?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/21/pope-retired-amid-gay-bishop-blackmail-inquiry

Gotta love that Vatican speak.

To quote Meserach Elyscape, the answer is always no. Interesting, though.

Oh yeah, the story has more than a whiff of 'macho' Italians being terrified of homosexuals to my news nose. I mean a supposedly sinister faction of gay priests trying to what? Turn the Basilica into a giant disco? Somehow change centuries of deep rooted bigoted church teaching 'from the inside' ? I don't really understand the agenda that such a supposed faction could have that would be relevant to church politics or why child abuse would be just 'pretty bad' but this would be just too much.

Still; I report, you decide.

Much as I'd love to become the Oscar Wilde of this forum, I'm reasonably sure I didn't say this, true though it is.

The very idea of a Conspiracy of the Fabulous is amazing though.

It rang a bell because I liked when Jon Stewart went off on it (to the point that I used it with my ninth graders to discuss rhetoric), just got the wrong guy.

Not that there isn't a deplorable current of homophobia in Italian culture, but it's not of the "OMG how terrifying they are probably plotting something" variety - if anything, that sounds more American.
A sinister faction of gay priests does sound ludicrous, unless maybe the goal was to influence the church's doctrine on the issue in a slightly less archaic direction? As if that could realistically happen, but hey, sooner or later someone's got to try.

Meanwhile, providing possible actual support to this seemingly-absurd homosexual-Catholic-cardinal-conspiracy, the senior cardinal in the UK, Cardinal Keith O'Brien, stands accused of "inappropriate acts".

While he hardly makes a conspiracy by himself, the story is lent particularly amusing weight by the fact that said cardinal has been a particularly outspoken opponent of gay rights in the UK.

The very same Cardinal just a day earlier had released a statement claiming he'd like to see Catholic priests permitted to marry (marry women, that is) since "many priests have found it very difficult to cope with celibacy".

Stewart's point is finer, but I am reminded of Betteridge's law.

I'll grant, Betteridge's law generally applies to headlines that are sensationalistic and misleading, whereas the "no" elicited from the Vatican, as to if the Pope is stepping down due to some form of hypocritical and grotesque outrage, falls more more into the the "at long last have you no shame?" category.

Disturbing.

Like Dick Hafer voiced by a stereotypical Disney character. A homophobic Sea Lion or anthropomorphic tea pot. Only instead of a song you get state sanctioned murder.

It eventually led to a "Christmas present" approved by Benedict XVI himself.

The plot for the next Dan Brown book?

And the UK Cardinal is down for the count after his sex scandal meaning that he won't get to take part in the voting for the next pope:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/feb/25/cardinal-keith-obrien-resigns

Fun times for Vatican conspiracy theorists. Presumably, in the supposedly warring factions this awful chap was a deep cover mole in the fabulous/inappropriate behaviour grouping but he was outed just in time by the conservative/actually celibate collective who managed to time this cardinal take-down manoeuvre to perfection, right before the papal conclave where he was set to surprise everyone by suddenly reversing his position on gay rights and voting for the first (secretly gay) pope. God, now I've confused myself.

Anyway, your move secret gay plotters!

The gay agenda is finally unmasked.

The common inside-baseball term for the sekrit gay conspiracy is referring to the machinations of the "lavender mafia".

its official .. they are redoing a nunnery inside the Vatican grounds. He is going to be cloistered effectively. I wonder if this was really his choice. We will probably see happy pictures of ole Benedict for a bit then he will drop off the map.

If one thinks like a good plot here, then he will be running everything from inside quietly and from this point on the "pope" will be a figurehead.

Place bets?

I'd take your bet.

You are saying that he is too feeble to avoid being being cloistered (presumably by a secret and possibly crossdressed cabal) while at the same time being able to pull the strings of whomever he decides to appoint as the new Pontiff?
You have to pick a lane man.

-laugh- Yeah well It was more a here are possible scenarios which do you think is going to take place.

I am torn between he is offed in a few months quietly , or he runs the whole show internally.

There's a fine line between not trusting the official line and Alex Jones black helicoptering your Da Vincis.

Why would he need to be the power behind the throne? He is the throne. He wears the biggest hat and he can tell the other cardinals 'Nuh Uh! Pope!'. The church has shown that it doesn't give a shit about any of the scandals in recent times so unless there's actual video of Benedict balls deep in a ten year old, I find it hard to believe that there's all this pressure on him to step down or that his continuing papacy is damaging the church particularly. As for being sidelined so he can be quietly offed, again why? He's old and he'll die soon anyway, he's a conservative and the college of cardinals is also super conservative due to JPII's appointments. I find it hard to believe that Benedict is taking the church in ways that the higher echelons of the Vatican are unhappy about.

Let me have fun, it is the only pope retiring amidst gay cardinal secret club insanity I get to have.

RNS wins the internets for the day:

So with Pope Sidious stepping down, does that mean the next one will be Pope Vader?

Based solely on their Wikipedia pages, O'Malley and Ravasi look to be among the best choices, and Turkson, Sandri, and Erdo are varying degrees of raving nutbags. Y'know, just to start to narrow that down a bit.

So Turkson, Sandri, and Erdo are the frontrunners, then?

Probably. >.<

Also, as linked by my brilliant roommate:

Astromarine found this astoundingly perfect news story:

That is so very awesome. Gee, I wonder which location is more fun to be at?

You couldn't make this up.

That's not an Onion article?

Holy shit. The Onion only wishes.

I know it's Roman Catholics and all, but aren't priests supposed to live a pretty modest lifestyle? I thought that was kind of their thing?

HA!

Oh wait, that wasn't a joke?
:(

Modest is a relative term. They had to leave Jacuzzi and sauna at home.

Well, technically, they left the sauna across the street.

True. But they'll have to share with other cardinals.

I'd just like to say that I'm nominally a Catholic (hey, I was raised and confirmed), and I'm male, and I'm over 35, so technically I have a chance to be pope.

I'm talking to God about it, and I'm pretty sure he knows what avatar I use and will tell the cardinals, and really it's just a matter of time.

Pope4Life, bitches!

EDIT: And I am totally on board with the gay sauna, as long as they clean it at least daily.