Random thoughts and questions

Anything ending in "ovich" is not going to be his first name. Nikita Vladimirovich would be properly formal.

Also, it still hurts to breathe, even through the Vicodin. I don't know what to do.

Take your butt to a hospital and be like "HEY GUYS SO YOU DID A THING AND NOW I'M IN PAIN. NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU FIX IT."

Then promptly flop onto the floor, cross your arms, and pout. C:

Yeah... what MulMizu said. I'm pretty sure that being in that much pain for this long is not a good thing.

Oh, and have a sympathy like. Sounds like ya need one.

MulMizu - lol. Keeping that in mind.

Thanks, hon. I'm sorry for clogging up this thread, but occasionally Broken Forum shares a bit of wisdom that the very few other people I have to talk to don't. So...thank you all for making me feel a little less like a stupid kid. :/

Edit: note to self: before describing pain to doctor as "kicked in the kidneys," make sure you know where your kidneys are. >.>

Oh, shush... you aren't clogging up the thread. The way I see it, we're a community... and communities are supposed to help each other. ^.=.^

You just worry less about feeling like a little kid, and worry more about feeling better.

Sounds like there could be some bruising or edema internally - a quick google search shows that pain after having the lady-basket sonar'ed isn't unheard of and can persist for a few days.

Call from my mother, needing updates on this whole saga from across the country:

"Are you sure it's not an ectopic pregnancy? Maybe a miscarriage? What form of birth control are you using? You know condoms are unreliable, right? Did they do a pregnancy test? Are you SURE you're not pregnant?"

YES DAMMIT MOTHER. YOU ARE NOT GETTING GRANDKIDS ANYTIME SOON. AND DEPENDING ON HOW SCREWED UP MY INNARDS ARE, POSSIBLY NEVER. SO SHUT THE GORRAM HELL UP ABOUT IT.

Hey Speak With Bread, get better, like right now. Or my dad will start telling old war stories ;)

Well, if Speak was pregnant, she'd probably end up having a c-section because of the baby's trench coat.

Since when are condoms unreliable? Is she listening to Catholic missionaries in Africa?

Well, they do have, what, a 2% or 3% failure rate even with perfect use, compared to something like 0.3% for hormonal contraceptives?

I have ten days to give some lady a refund or she'll take me to court for the cost of the refund and a 500 dollar "inconvenience fee" because I'm "very short" and have a "prejudice grin"

Were you her rent boy or something? I am confused.

She bought an item for $16.16, used it, then tried to return it. I offered her store credit on what she said she needed but she refused.
She bought something to use as a temporary fix then tried to return it after getting the permanent fix somewhere else. Nope.

I love vicodin when it doesn't make me nauseous.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
/atones for being dorky

I hate customers like this. Working in retail, there's always a small percentage of people that think they have some god-given right to insult/belittle/yell at the sales assistant because they can't get what they want. "What they want" usually being a refund on an item they have already used (and sometimes broken/soiled in the process). I'd understand them yelling if I or the store were at fault, but... Jeez.

Also, what the hell is a "prejudice grin"?

How short are you, anyway? 4'8"

500 bucks worth apparently

So she's planning to take you to small claims.

It will cost her a few bucks to file the case. In CA it would not cost you anything to respond, but it would take a morning or afternoon out of your life.

Unless you're standing on a principle, pay her the $16.16. If you are, have fun.

Excuse me, but can someone please tell me what the hell sweetmeats are?
One thing says it's candy. Another thing says it's testicles. Another thing says it's penises.
I thought it was honey-glazed ham.

What the hell are sweetmeats?

What.
wat.

(They are sweets - not hard candy, but sweet tasting things like marzipan and stuff.)

Not ham. Anyone using it to mean boy-parts is probably being at least a little slangy or jokey. Online recipes imply that it is a sweet kind of food, often encrusted in sugar or honey. The Urban Dictionary mentions the "delectable parts of the body."

This is one of those funny leftovers from older English. Back in the day (like, the really really old day) "meat" meant "food." (Also, "corn" meant any kind of grain.) So "sweetmeat" is old English for "candy," basically. (And corned beef is old English for beef studded with "grains" ("corns") of pepper.)

"Sweetmeat is the culinary name for testicles." - This thing.

Wikipedia is full of lies and I will never trust it again.

I've seen it be two of those things, though the slang bit fits I suppose.

This reminds me of that one sentence of the same word that when stressed 5 different ways can maketh the sense.

Just don't ask about sweetbreads. You don't want to know. Hint: it's not donuts.

I never said she stole my money.

7 different ways.

Oh fuck, that fucker fucked a fucked up fuckwit.

Most versatile word ever!

Actually more, if you're willing to emphasize more than one word.
Words are weird.

Even though I use them regularly, I'm still surprised at times at how customer friendly Amazon can be.

About a month ago I ordered an item and didn't notice that (for some reason) the address defaulted to my father's house. Since we have the same name, it didn't stand out at the time. I did notice when I got the "shipped" email, but by then it was too late to do anything but arrange a return. Unfortunately, my father was out of town at the time, and would be for another week or so. I reordered the item for myself in the meantime. When my father got back home, we ran into a problem. Amazon wants you to print out a return label and put it on the item, but my father doesn't have a computer or access to one. So I emailed Amazon customer support asking if it was ok for him to just send it back at our expense. Instead, they said they would send out the labels by mail at their expense. And then a few hours later they went ahead and credited me back for the return even though the package still wasn't obviously in transit.

Pretty cool. Too bad more retailers aren't that easygoing.

Another day, another round of testing, another mysterious lack of any conclusion besides "yep, something's wrong." Three rounds of blood tests, six different rounds of insurance-and-patient-history, two ultrasounds, and way too long spent in hospitals this past week. This had better be an alien if it's giving this much frakking trouble.

Urge to destroy world...rising...

I'm sorry to hear it, Speak...

*hugs* That sucks to hear, Speak. Hopefully this shit gets figured out soon.

Oh my glob, that's absolutely frustrating. D:
Lawks, I hope they get that figured out. *smishes*

As the person what called it first, I get dibs on naming the little chestburster.

Sorry, Nute. You're third in line, after me and the roommate who's been putting up with me for four days. Aaron is fourth.

I know a few people who worked in Amazon customer support. They said unless you're obviously scamming, most people get a three strikes policy applied to them. Up to three problems on your account, so returns, missing deliveries, that kind of thing and they'll bend over backwards to help you. On your fourth issue your account gets looked at to see if you're abusing the system, usually by having a more senior customer service rep be in charge of it. They'll take a look at it and if there's no signs of a customer being a derp they'll authorise your account to be dealt with by the standard reps and they'll continue to bend over backwards, taking a look at you every three or so times.