Random thoughts and questions

So... he was on a plane to somewhere in Asia, and he found out that customs was going to search bags. So he decided to take ALL the drugs he'd brought with him. All at once.

A little while later he had gas, so he tried to discreetly fart. No big deal, right? So he got off the plane, wearing his snazzy white suit, got his bags, and took a cab to the hotel. He thought people were looking at him, but that was of course just the drugs talking. Until he gets to the hotel room and realized that he'd shit himself on the plane. In his white suit. Which was now...brown.

The moral of this story: don't be a fucking idiot.

So today my headteacher thought it would be hilarious to send out an email saying that Ofsted (the schools inspectorate) would be coming in for the last two days of term.
He did kinda let on that it was a joke: D Beckham would be inspecting PE for example.
Unfortunately many of us didn't read that far before panicking.
NOT FUNNY BOSS.

Deeee-lish!

What's up with Steam and all these updates? Two days ago I fired up Steam for the first time in a week or so and had like five game updates, as well as a Steam update. Then yesterday three more games and another Steam update. And just now yet another Steam update and three games. WTF?

Updates for the Xmas sale meta game that's starting tomorrow maybe?

Elyscape, there's no such thing as bit rot. You're spreading misinformation, and somebody is going to get hurt. You should apologize and stop lying to people.

Okay, after today's events, I'm collecting international swearwords, because my English profanity is just not cutting it in this situation. Help me out, please!

Courtesy of the mythical Quebecois, you have "Tabernac."

You're just not trying hard enough. You just need to try out more portmanteaus, like, for example, FUCK THESE SHITGUZZLING ASSLIZARDS! IainC can probably provide additional tutoring.

"Douchecanoe" is my favorite.

@ Speak With Bread

?

I don't have any non english swear words for you but now I feel concerned for you.

Are you okay?

The earliest the current doctor can get me in for diagnostic surgery is New Year's Eve; my parents flipped out at this, mostly at me, and now my mother's flying home in a huff tomorrow; I have unwittingly cast a large shadow over Christmas for a large number of people; and I am still in so much pain that even the Percocet is barely working.

Just another day in the life of Speak. Since I cannot burn all of the things, I shall merely lie here and dream of things burning.

Awwwww!

Tell the Highlander to get in there and give you a hug for us, pronto!

:( Well that totally sucks. Both the having to wait and you getting shite upon as if you did on purpose, or something. :(

Actually, given her love life, THERE CAN BE ONLY TWO

Speak With Bread, you have all my sympathies. Fuck doctors, fuck parents, fuck drama, and most of all, fuck pain.

NOT RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT, ELI. >.<

At the very least, your mother's flying back, so that should be a bit of relief. It's one thing to deal with an unhelpful parent face-to-face than a continent away.

Worrying for your health is a given, and not something that can be avoided right now. Blaming you for ruining Christmas is ridiculous; it's not like you've set up idols of uranium, strapped even more uranium on your body and danced for the onset of pain. If they're blaming you, they can stress their own heads about it. You are not at all to blame.

Sympathies about the pain. But goddamn, at least if it wasn't exploratory surgery you could try to see another doctor...

I have two other doctors I'll be calling in the morning, and will be Googling further possibilities tonight.

Also, where does one get idols of uranium? I am intrigued...

Idols of Uranium would be a great band name.

For your consideration Speak:

Tonight would be a good night for getting drunk, if I drank.

Compromise solution: Headphones, super-cheesy metal, and super-ancient video games!

this is you. this right here.
But for real, I'm sorry people are taking out their anger on you, literally the last person that needs it.

come here. i'll make it better with hugs and kisses.

I want so badly for a headteacher to be what I think it is.

{insert Your Mom joke here}

My mom is a classy lady, I will have you know.

She's classy, which is why she's the headteacher.

(Okay, I made myself groan that time...)

Your mom is dumb. So's anyone else being huffy about this. THERE I SAID IT.

Apparently I can't tell the difference between an airplane's sonic boom from five miles away and an earthquake. WHO KNEW.

This is how my day gets derailed, given that I run four sites on Drupal:



To be fair, taking a screen shot of that, cropping it, uploading it to imgur and posting it here isn't exactly productive either.

Tagalog: putang ina: literally, "whore mother," but can be used like "son of a bitch!" (putang ina mo) or "fuck / motherfucker" (putang ina)

Thai: ai hee-ah / ee hee-ah: roughly, "son of a bitch (or lizard?)," but closer in tone/meaning to "fuck" or "motherfucker"

Croatian: picka (pronounced peech-ka) ti materina: essentially, "your mom's vagina," but closer in tone/meaning to "go fuck yourself" or "fuck off"

I learned the latter two from Thai and Croatian friends in college.

Guys. GUYS.



Minecraft Cat Fountain!

O.O

Some days I feel like my life is nothing but a constant struggle to keep my nose hairs under control.

Have managed to persuade my roommate that feeding my mother to coyotes is impolite.

Barely.