Reads Just Like A Harlequin: The Sultan's Heir and other Josei manga.

Once upon a time, OtomeGamer started a thread dedicated to reading really ghastly shoujo manga.

Beautiful things were born from the horrors we witnessed, derails were had, and within it, a mention of a yaoi manga whose title escapes me. When I tried looking it up on Manga Storm, I instead found a manga called The Sultan's Heir.

Having read the summary of this josei manga, I shared my discovery and was prompted by Umazes, MulMizu and Hikikomori to start the hypothetical Let's Read of it.

However, I then decided I might as well make this a thread about bad josei manga in general because a good number of them are basically Harlequin novels in comic form. They can be terrible, pathetic, stupid, and mostly about sex between two people who really shouldn't get together.

In other words, A+ Harlequin material! There's no way you can go wrong.

So go pour yourself your favourite alcoholic drink, sit back, and enjoy as I read bad Josei manga for your entertainment. I promise you, you are in for a treat. Triggers will be mentioned when appropriate, though, so don't worry, you won't be taken by surprise in that regard.

INDEX

[Title; Appropriate trigger warnings.] Let it also be known that I'll censure accordingly.

The Sultan's Heir; If it's the story I think it is, it's an adaptation of a bodice ripper. Additional trigger warnings and confirmation of my suspicions will be mentioned as they crop up.

Without doing any actual research, this reminds me of the book The Sheik.

And that just gives me bad feels. Um, good luck, Randissimo. Please stay safe.

Right then, let's start with The Sultan's Heir!



... Why is he white? There better be an explanation for this in-story.

Which reminds me, it should be noted that I'm doing this blind. I am eager to find out what awaits me. But first, the summary!

This sentence alone told me everything I will need to know about this manga.

Always glad to see consent is a big thing within these kinds of works!

Safe to say that if it ends with a question mark, the answer is whichever one sounds more positive-- Wait, what secret? WHAT'S GOING ON?

Another interesting thing to note, the author of this manga is Alexandra Sellers-- Wait.

Wait, don't tell me. Oh my God.

GUYS YOU ARE IN FOR A TREAT THIS LADY IS KNOWN FOR HER BODICE-RIPPERS.

I can't believe someone adapted this into a manga, I really can't.



Oh, this is going to be a glorious trainwreck. You have been warned.

Note: I'll post appropriate trigger warnings as they pop up, both in the OP and in the update.

Let me come out right now: To my great shame, I read Harlequin novels for fun. I do. I'm always completely appalled by how they handle relationships, consent, and what have you, but since the target audience is adults, I tend to be less freaked out about it than, say, shoujo. And a part of me can't help laughing because seriously, I can't believe someone would write it.

But yes, I have heard things about the Sheik. In fact, I read a summary. I'm kind of hoping the manga is a loose adaptation rather than a direct one, but we shall see. I'll censure as is appropriate.

Edit: And to elaborate on why I'm less freaked out: Adults can generally tell the difference between reality and fiction. And even if they find the content romantic, a good number don't, and Harlequin novels aren't taken seriously by most people, so they're less likely to influence young folk.

... Then again, things like Twilight get published in mainstream society...

Edit 2: I lied about feeling shame.

...
...

Is that Caribou because I'll probably need something that strong by the end of this.

Speaking of, this'll have to be postponed until tomorrow. I want to tackle this story when awake and coherent.

Awake and coherent seems like a bad idea for this kind of thing, honestly.

Also, interest in harlequin romance novels does make sense, especially from a they're-so-bad-they're-hilarious viewpoint. And other viewpoints.

Being awake and coherent is for squares, I always LP late at night when I forget how to think.

...
Good luck. You'll need it.

We'll be waiting over here, anytime you need alcohol and hugs.

Is this one of those super old-school-style-ish josei manga written by British ladies and drawn by Japanese ladies about super rich middle-eastern princes who are somehow blonde and blue-eyed and by chance meeting homely British ladies and then falling in love with them and then having sex with them without asking for permission and then confessing and then marriage and somehow it all takes like two hundred pages?
... Are you drunk yet?

...I used to devour harlequin/romance novels when I was younger, especially the ones that went for like ten cents at every yard sale. I think I mostly read them for the plot. I was a sad sad child.

That said, this doesn't seem so bad so far, I mean, ignoring the fact that it looks like he's smothering a doll whose head is about to fall off, not so bad.

Actually, the summary reminds me of that one arc in Sex/Love Pistols, which um I hope this doesn't follow.

It does kinda look like he's already snapped her neck. Maybe it's just the RealDoll that he clutches in his lonely nights inside the Authentic Arabian Tents (TM) while waiting for his true love to arrive at last.

Yay! A romantic retelling of a romantic story in manga form~~ (okay, not really). Harlequins are a guilty pleasure of mine, I admit it... guiltily >_>

Brimney, if it is the one that I'm thinking of, I remember backing away slowly/quickly after reading the summary on the back.

Edit: Randissimo, can I read bad josei on here too? Share the horror? * _ *

skipping around the house in anticipation lawd child you done made me so happy

OtomeGamer, feel free, there are some Josei I refuse to touch, so feel free to LR those!

Also, I love being awake while reading these things, I get the most enjoyment out of them that way.

I'm hoping that this will be glorious because... harlequin josei?

I used to read harlequin josei for fun don't judge me

Just to be clear, I'm judging everyone who actually reads harlequins and whatever this "josei" is as hard as I can right now.

Josei actually has a lot of good titles under its belt. Namely, Hotaru No Hikari, Petshop Of Horrors and that... One with the jellyfish and crossdresser, just to name the first ones that come to mind. (I can't remember the title, damn it.)

However, a good number of them are baaaaaad.

Like, Harlequin levels of bad.

So-Bad-They're-Fucking-Hilarious levels of bad.

And I have no regrets that I read them. ... Actually, I don't even feel shame. So AHAHAHAHAHAHA, JOKES ON YOU, JUDGE AWAY!

I am easily amused, shut up.

Edit: Josei is basically manga aimed at women between the ages of 18-30, from what I understood.

Kuragehime. ;3 Which is so freaking adorable~ <33

But yeah, there are some good josei titles out there. The one I was going to recommend I found out is actually seinen... I'm pretty sure it was classed as josei when I read it though... >.>

SEINEN IS GENERALLY FUCKING ALL AROUND AWESOME.

Just saying.

YESSS~ :D IT'S SO AWESOME!!

Meh, can I recommend this one anyway, then...? It's called Watashitachi no Shiawase na Jikan.

I will warn you now folks that it's sad. But that's part of the reason it's one of my favourites ever. It's so beautiful, and realistic, and the story— The feeeeeeeeeels. ;~;
Though I'm still convinced that it used to be part of the josei genre, rather than seinen. :/ Hmmm... >.> Maybe it was just classified wrong before...?

SEINEN yes please
Just gotta say, that when I vacationed in Hong Kong, I totally bought as many volumes of Liar Game as I could get my grubby little mits on- despite the fact that they're Chinese translations and I can only read English.

On an unrelated note and just to be clear: When I said I'd need Caribou, I didn't mean the beer.

I meant the Québécois drink, the base of which is a heavy wine and gin, and where you just. Mix alcohol with more alcohol until you have a drink whose alcohol quotient reaches unhealthy percentages.

I'm pretty sure it's illegal to serve it in restaurants these days, but I could be wrong.

just don't die.

I thought that, you being Canadian and all, you meant Caribou whiskey. 80 proof, I think. Why do Canadians name so many things after moose-like creatures?

I AM HALF FRENCH-CANADIAN AND HALF HISPANIC, I'LL BE FIIIIINE! I think I'm just going to stick to Presidente instead.

Have you ever seen a moose in real life? And I mean a Canadian moose? Once you do, you'll understand.

You think we're all nice and polite and harmless.

But then you see the moose.

The giant, 7 foot tall, 1200 lb moose charging your car. The moose is scary, it's dominant, it's powerful and takes no shit. It stomps wolves and attacks bears (but only if they're attacked first, because it's quite polite). It can kick in every direction, unlike most hooved animals its size, making it even more badass. And the moose is the only member of the deer family that can feed underwater, so it gets the best of every feeding situation.

That super badass moose will normally just chill on the side of the road, but maybe you screamed at it to get the hell out of the way (like I have seen people do before), and it got pissed. Well, that's when it flips your car and you realize why we picked moose to go on everything.

Canadians, just like moose, don't take shit from anyone if we get pissed enough, because we're awesome.

And this is why Canada is badass.

Well, I better not let my dad drive in Canada then.

I think I haven't recovered after a bison decided to charge our car when my dad yelled at it to get off the road.

IS YOUR DAD CRAZY HOLY FRICK.

That's it, we need to add "Don't yell at the huge animals to get out of the way" on our vacation pamphlets.

Well, you'd assume so... but then again that bison has been just ambling on the one-lane road with its big fluffy butt bouncing as it takes its time...for THREE HOURS.

(Might I also say that we were surrounded on one side by a herd of more bisons, and the other side by a lake.)

Well damn. And your dad yelled at one of them? I tip my hat to him, that takes courage.

After three hours, I think his patience snapped.
I'd better be glad that bisons aren't bro's forever. If the entire herd rushed at us....

Before I begin this, I made the mistake of reading the comments. I think a part of my brain just got bludgeoned. BEST WAY TO START THIS CRAZY TRAIN GOING, AMIRITE?

Why did I read the comments? Anyway.



I ALREADY HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT'S HAPPENING! Great start!



... What the hell is this even a drawing of-- OH GOD. 3/10, would make a great cover for a Harlequin novel.



Oh, wait, nevermind, it's half of a spreadpage. Silly scanlators, you just upload both pages as one and give us the option to magnify it when you're faced with one of these~

Also, he doesn't look white here. Da fuq is up with this continuity?

At any rate, we start the story proper with some random guy walking up to a fancy house and ringing the doorbell. And by fancy house I mean apartment complex.



... I'm eight pages in, five if you don't count the recruiting ads for scanlators, and I'm already completely lost. BUT YAY, REUNION? Man, Jamshid, how long were you gone for?



EXCEPT HE'S NOT JAMSHID? OKAY THEN, WOW, THAT'S... Kind of racist, actually. Wow. I just.

Wow. Seriously, how do you mistake a stranger for... I'm assuming your husband? Does he secretly have a twin? Siblings who look a lot like him? You're just surprisingly unobservant? I NEED AN ANSWER, STAT.



Oh. Pleasant stuff. Should have seen this coming, honestly. Although I'll admit the cousin bit took me completely by surprise, usually, it's a sibling. But seriously, why are you acting so surprised by the fact he's a cousin, Rosalind? That makes no sense. I mean, being surprised does, but not to that extent, that's just ridiculously exaggerated. You should react that way to the fact your HUSBAND IS REALLY, FOR REALSIES, DEAD.

SERIOUSLY, SCREW THE FACT THIS GUY IS HIS COUSIN RIGHT NOW, YOUR HUSBAND IS HONEST TO GOD DEAD.

...

We get an explanation for how and when he died, right? Right?

... Right?



Right, that's more what I was thinking-- You got a letter? What?

What?

Stop stating the obvious, answer my question, damn it.

NO, BETTER QUESTION: WHY IS THIS GUY EVEN HERE? WHAT'S THE POINT OF HIS BEING HERE? Is he going to tell her when the funeral's going to happen or something? Is it even necessary for him to show up?

Well, apparently the letter was as much news to Not-Jamshid as it was to me, because he's shocked to hear his grandfather knew about Rosalind. I... Guess his grand-father's racist? ... Probably is, yeah. But Rosalind can't answer his question about why his grand-father sent her a letter because she has no clue. I have a feeling she's going to be left in the dark pretty often for the duration of this story. Just a hunch.

But that's not important, there are more pressing things to think about than her husband's death:



Like the fact she mistook this bozo for her dead lover.

Well, honestly, I can half forgive her for this one, because if she was so desperate to believe Jamshid was still alive, it would make sense to jump to the conclusion that anyone who looked similar was him. A cruel trick a mind in grief will sometimes play on the heartbroken.

Of course, that may just be in fiction, but eh.



... She's already moving on, isn't she? God damn.

I am grateful the entire herd didn't rush at you guys.

Are those CLAMP shoulders I spy terms of "manliness"? The extremely shoujo dewy eyes are throwing me off.

Also this beginning has terrible exposition, I assuming we're going to be lost even as she flown off to Not!Arabia or whatever.

I'm more concerned about her head and neck. How is that staying on?

Also, her face creeps me out. She looks like a mannequin.

Have you noticed that she hasn't closed her mouth anywhere but the cover yet? 3 bucks say that she doesn't throughout the whole thing.

SUDDENLY, POV SWITCH! OKAY THEN.

... Wait, he died five years ago? ... How much plot am I missing out on? Was there a manga adaptation of one of the previous books that I missed out on reading? ... Eh, whatever, moving right along the plot, let's get to the important stuff.

Namely, that suddenly, What's-His-Name here is starting to get the hots for Rosalind. (I'm sorry, sir, your name isn't as awesome as Jamshid.)

So I finally start getting answers to my questions! Turns out Not-Jamshid here only found out about Rosalind the day before. Despite a five year gap since his brother's death. I. What?

Apparently, she was mentioned in Jamshid's will. The explanation?



Wow, that's... Legitimately sweet, and heartbreaking. I'm going to regret saying this once I read the actual novel, most likely, but just taking this at face value... That's pretty touching. Unless Rosalind doesn't want to go back, but hey, she can choose to refuse, right?

But other than that, Nommée... is not a name. Just. Just saying. It's just a way of saying "This is Person X's name." on a legal document. ANYWAY--

Wait, war, what? WHAT? WHEN DOES THIS TAKE PLACE?

Instead, we are greeted with a flashback:




A FLASHBACK OF TRAGIC BACKSTORY!



Okay, questions: Why is he fighting in the actual physical part of the war? Generally, royalty don't go to the front lines, son. Wouldn't do for leaders to die in battle and whatnot. On another note, this is just already so sexist I can't even begin to point out where and how.

I'm enjoying this tremendously so far.



Depressing, but expected.

So Rosalind waited night and day for news, but none came. Eventually, she got desperate and wrote a letter to Jamshid's grandfather in Palban language explaining how she's the mother of his great-grandchild and wants news of her husband and child's father-- HOLD UP, LADY, YOU TOLD YOUR HUSBAND'S COUSIN YOU HAD NO IDEA HOW HIS GRANDFATHER KNEW YOU EXISTED. WHAT THE FUCK? INCONSISTENCY!

That actually gets called out by Not-Jamshid.



Also, abuse. Totally called it, the grand-father is a fucking racist. I kind of want to punch him in the face since he's a slut-shamer, too. Greaaaat.

So then more yelling happens as Rosalind confirms that she can remember the letter word for word despite the five year gap. She just couldn't believe he died, and apparently everything went black... And then Not-Jamshid yells about how his grand-father never told him or anyone else that he sent a letter to her.

Well. Great to see his communication skills extend to his family as well!

But apparently, there's something more important than even that.



Which of course won't be mentioned until they pad this chapter out with suspense. Fine, whatever, let's play it your way: How big is your family?



FUCKING FINALLY. SPILL THE BEANS, SIRRAH!



Well damn, lady's loaded now. That's a pretty damn good inheritance to leave behind--

... So what if he was a student, he's a fucking prince, of course he'll have nice things to his name, I'm pretty sure. Whatever, story to get back to. Plot point identified as being a rose.

...

...

Moving on.

Apparently, the rose isn't a flower, but a ring that Jamshid should have left behind for his son. Except the ring Rosalind does take out is insignificant and not what What's-His-Face here was talking about. Well then.



................. I am. Pretty sure she'd remember something that valuable if it was given to her, sir. Preeeeeeeeeetty damn sure. Just a hunch. Glad to see we're already getting a glimpse of the mutual respect between these two that will be present for the rest of the story!

And then more arguments!



Now, some of you may be feeling the urge to slap this lady. I, on the other hand, am feeling the urge to punch this jerk because that's not how you deal with someone who's obviously still grieving. Son, I am disappoint.



...........................................................

I literally have nothing, that's genuinely depressing. Oh God. Rosalind, come here, let me hold you.

I...

Wow, talk about a wham line... That suddenly explains why no four year old came strolling in... I just...

... So that's the end of chapter one.

Hahaha, first image right after this, her mouth's closed. Pay up.