Rebellious Princess 101: Let's Play Castle Chase

Monica is head of the Department of Redundancy Department.



Hooray for the postal service.


Let's start on our epic quest to pick up the mail.


And who have we here?


Helloooo, secret character! <3
I know a few of you thought he was a scientist, but nope. He's just a good ol' fashioned postman. He asks if we're here to give the package to Prince Skyler, and we're like wat.


So much for not stealing anything.


Really? Because I'm pretty sure *I* know how I feel about him.

Percival thanks us for delivering the package, because he always gets lost in the castle. You and me both, bro.

Back to our lovely library lady.

It's a five-minute walk.

Now that we're back, let's find out what's inside this (foxy) box!



It's... a priceless gemstone. Sure you're not just going to sell these things on the black market?



My thoughts exactly.


Question marks, princess. We end questions with question marks.


So it's a necklace that looks like my face? That is... really goddamn creepy. Who would ever, ever want--


--I should have guessed.

Hell yeah we did.



She asks whether, if we were in her place, if we would have obeyed the rules and sent someone else to find the items. We're like hell no, we would have blatantly disobeyed and gone off on a fetch quest adventure instead of working.


<3

Yes, Monica. En-dear-ing. I'm starting to understand why your teacher is so fed up with you.


!!!

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!

And we're like


It obviously wasn't, to a bunch of you perceptive posters. <3


WHY IS THAT FIRST ONE EVEN AN OPTION WUT.


That would be nice, yes.


I suppose that illusion would dissolve pretty quickly once you saw him naked.


And they lived happily in gender ambiguity after <3

Next up: Percival!

That's my favorite kind of after to live in! :D

Too easy.

Bonus screens, which you unlock after each ending you get:

Master Reva is 64?! WHERE THE HELL ARE HER WRINKLES.

She must take extraordinarily good care of her skin.
And have very good genes.

WHY DID I MISS SO MUCH UPDATE? I AM A DISAPPOINTMENT. eeee! He's all sick and mopey now.

MAGGIE AND FEROCIOUS BEAST. SON OF A BITCH, NOSTALGIA LEFT HOOK.

;_; I'm looking forward to Erol's route now. My protect-my-Stas feels are ringing. Oh bby, you're sweet, even if you suck. I like the chars in this game.

Except Conrad. PEACOCK'S NOT LOOKIN' SO BAD NOW, HUH? He's pompus, but he's not a cruel dildo.

*reads the rest fo Clair route*

Wait, what? I don't- I mean... What?

Let me put on my nummyz-game-sorting hat and try to make sense of what we just learned;

SO... Clair not intentionally a trap. He's just a long haired bishonen, who's parents named him a girl's name. And because the majority of men in this kingdom are openly USELESS, the scholars must mostly be female, causing them to make a feminine uniform, which makes Clair even more girly. But it wasn't, like, a secret. Monica and some others are just stupid.

......

Whatever, hit me with some hot mailman. I'm ready.

Huh, that was rather... anti-climatic. I suppose I can't really complain though, since it was only a two-week game and the amount of routes they have seem to have makes up for it.

Percival's route is SURPRISINGLY COMPLICATED, which is why I haven't updated yet. It's probably about twice as long as Clair's.

Not reeeeally. :U It's like doing Skyler's route only ditching him at the last second!

Still find Hyde's to be the most complicated. ouo

So what I'm learning here is that fetch quests are the way to a man's heart.

This is true, but I just did a route. I'm sick of screenshotting this game :P

And yes, of course he is. Hyde is a complicated man.

-chuckle-

Ok, I have the thread on watch, but it's not alerting me when soemone posts! That's why I keep gettig behind! IT'S PISSING ME OFF. I LOVE THIS THREAD. LOOK AT ME LOVING YOU.

Of course. Dudes always want you to bring them things. Usually food or beer, from my experience. This is the first I'm seeing of gold chains, saucers, and cats and shit. But you know. Same basic idea.

BREAKIN' MY BALLS HEART, LADIES. I need to get this game and romance that douche, so hard. I'll find my horsewhip from my own LP and use it on him. Seems appropriate.

Skyler is a sweetheart. Also he is very pretty.

DO WANT.

On the other hand, this is a rare and odd example of a game where I think I like all options.

Well, the knight comes off as a bit of a haughty dick after seeing how he speaks to... What's our squire's name? Erol? Do want miserable squire.

We're going to have to be a cocktease to Gilroy, Hyde, Clair, *and* Skyler in order to get Percy. But mostly Skyler, so we can get to his package. yes, I am setting you people up for dirty jokes now.

Jacquelle, bby, by the next update I'll have gotten to someone's package.

I've been overshadowed.

Wow J, you're a real playa... Those poor boys won't know what hit 'em.

Monica's such a heartbreaker.

You know, she comes off as a real user, doesn't she? I almost don't want to romance the chars I like, because I feel like they could be happier with someone less selfish and manipulative, lol.

with me! *shot*

I'd be happier with you, bby.

I've got all the screenshots for Percy's route done and I was going to update tonight, but Imgur is being a prat and won't let me upload more than 2 images at a time. Update when I get home tomorrow.

I've got plenty of dirty jokes set up for you in this one <3

So THAT'S where you've been all night, J. Can't lie, I'm very much looking forward to updates and perv humor.

Also, fucking imgur. Everytime I want to update, I have to fight it too. But photobucket is an even worse nightmare, so, imgur it is.

Is Imgur being biased? Because it's working perfectly for me.

Weird. I have a lot less trouble with photobucket than I do with imgur. I'm also using the supposed beta version (I think) so that might have something to do with it.

The beta runs so poorly on my set up I can barely even view photobucket. My computer and internet are really crappy and easily overwhelmed. Even the forums cause my browser to freak out and have to be manually shut down.

I can't explain why imgur acts strange when you try to upload though. That can be a huge set back.

Technically 6 hours after I get home is still "after I get home". But Imgur's playing nice now, so let's bag us a hot postal worker.

The beginning of the route is pretty much exactly the same as Clair's, with one main detour.



Yep, it's time to mercilessly use our best friend for all he's worth (which, admittedly, isn't much.)



"I didn't like to think it"? Blatant lies.

Once again, we offer our help. After much protesting he accepts and we head on our way.


Gigi is Gilroy's hint babe. She also may be a vampire.

Eventually, we arrive, and do some laundry.


No, we're really not.

We point out we were just being a good friend.


Mona has no idea what he means by that. I expect romance to be your forte, Mona! It certainly isn't grammar.

Also, Monica's mother is (was?) a mean drunk.


"This washboard is large and cumbersome! I'll just carry it around with me for a while for no reason."

Blah blah blah poison Skyler, talk to Clair, talk to Erol, obtain kitten, get bitched at by Conrad, etc. We could actually give the chain to Aydin this time, but he's being a jerk about it so Clair can just have it.

Why do we need to go through this? To get Clair to move, of course! Why can't we just ask him to move? Because.


Now that he's on the other side of the room, we can finally holy shit there's a giant hole behind the bookshelf!


Luckily, these are lightweight EZ-Move bookshelves.

We head down those stairs, and


WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS


Thank god for that stolen borrowed! Borrowed lantern.

We boldly stride forward and


Well goddamn it.

Getting caught in a trap sends you back to the soldier's dorms, where you can get bitched at by Conrad some more. Get caught too many times and it's BAD END.


WHY DOES OUR BASEMENT HAVE SO MANY TRAPS wait what's that in the upper corner?


Why hello there. <3

Well. That was a thing. That happened.

I totally missed Hyde my first time through the game. Well, technically I saw him, but I didn't think it was anything so I just left. I like to think that Monica stared at him blankly before turning around and walking away without a word.

He protests, but we help him out of the traps anyway.


Suuuure you could.


THAT'S MY LINE.

So what the hell's he doing here?


Everybody needs a goal in life, I suppose.


Monica shows herself to be a master of deduction.


...is he? Could have fooled me.


That's your inheritance, Monica. Sure you want to just hand it away?


He proves himself to be a gentleman thief. We decide to ask him his name, as long as we're getting to know each other.



As for helping him steal the royal treasure, fortunately, we have a stolen borrowed stolen servant's uniform we snitched from the laundry. That detour with Gilroy wasn't just Monica being cruel!


I didn't even leave the goddamn room.


While he's naked, Monica tries to ask some probing questions.

So why are we helping a dirty rotten scoundrel again, Mona?


Somehow I don't think depleting all their assets will make them less likely to marry you off.


I don't know, this is pretty much exactly the kind of stupidity I'm expecting from you at this point.

So she's helping this 'Gentleman Thief' as a way of acting out against her (supposedly) mean ol' parents?

...

SOUNDS LEGIT.

jekyll jekyll hyde jekyll hyde hyde jekyll
jekyll jekyll jekyll jekyll hyde
jekyll jekyll hyde jekyll hyde hyde jekyll
jekyll jekyll jekyll jekyll hyde

We take Hyde back to the servant's quarters, where we pawn him off on him on Gilroy. I didn't take screenshots because we'll get to see all of this when Edelweiss does Hyde (pssst Shii here's your chance) and, despite promising important favors to both of them, we're not going to see either of them again!

:D

Wait, I lied, I did take one:

Presented without comment.

We do get one important thing from Hyde before we drop him like a hot potato:

With this map...

A funny drawing I stole picked up for purely philanthropic reasons from the Pecok luggage pile, and a package for Prince Asshole, it's time.

Time to actually deliver the mail.

First, we confront him with the drawing, and he magically gets over his indigestion long enough to talk to us.

Is it porn.


I don't want to know about your "hobbies" D:


Oh. Blueprint. That makes sense. Aheh.


Oh, your dad designed this castle? Well, give him a hearty FUCK YOU from me.