Server Downtime

Was that it? Did I... sleep through it?
Aw, thank LAWD! Now I can continue my usual going-online-in-school tactic!

ZOMG BF I MISSED you so much!

I awoke in the middle of the night, sweating. Something was amiss, like a fracture in reality. "It was just a dream," I told myself. "Go back to bed." Grudgingly, I lay there, tossing and turning, until I could bear it no longer. There was something... off. I went to the bathroom and doused my face with cold water, blinking and sputtering. Towel-dried, I then sat in my office chair and turned on the LCD. Squinting slightly at the bright glow, I went through all the necessary steps: was Windows up-to-date? When was the last time Microsoft Security Essentials did a scan? Is my Wifi connection at full-bars? Sighing in relief, I clicked on the Chrome icon, checked to see if there were any new jailbreak apps for my iPhone 5, sighed again, this time in dismay, and then clicked on the Broken Forum bookmark.

Failure to connect to website. Check your internet settings.

Frantically, I checked my DNS settings, opened other websites with no issue, and again moved a quivering hand to the BF bookmark. I clicked.

Failure to connect

I immediately went to downforeveryoneorjustme.com, and endured agonizing seconds while I awaited the results. It was down. For everyone. "How could this be?" I asked myself. There were threads that needed replies, big red alerts that needed to be read, and funny cat gifs that needed to be watched. This simply could not stand. I attempted to connect directly to the IP address, to no avail. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and as I wiped it away, I wondered what had caused it. "It's only a forum. I'm sure Lord Fatbird has his reasons. It'll be back." I poured a glass of milk, took a Unisom, and crawled back into bed. Sleep came and went. As morning arrived, I again awoke in a sweat, and immediately went to the computer. The forum had to be up. Bypassing all of my usual rituals, I clicked on the bookmark. There it was in all its glory: white with a tinge of blue and plenty of unread threads that needed my attention. I slumped, and burst into tears. Happy, sweet tears.

It was a good day to be Broken again.

Last night whilst the Forum was down, Soli-chan came to me in a dream and we played a weird game that was part computer game part a real life treasure hunt.

Only in my fever dreams.

How is this different than reading Soli-chan posts?

Server downtime and no patch notes? This is bullshit.

Patch Notes:

• Jboots were nerfed (or were they?)
• Drop rates for hundreds of uber items, consumables and rare crafting materials have been adjusted.
• Experience rates and quest rewards for players under level 50 have been adjusted.
• 800 new items, experience & buff potions, and crafting materials have been added to our in-game store.
• Paladins are a bit unbalanced and are tanking much better than we expected them to (our goal in this regard is to have them capable of filling any role a warrior can), so we've increased the effectiveness of their healing and support abilities in order to keep the class from feeling so lopsided (This should help guarantee that they can replace any dedicated healers in a pinch when needed). We'll be looking at boosting up their DPS numbers to keep them on par with other top tier DPS classes by next patch.
• Due to recent security breaches from hackers, we are requiring that players use an authenticator in order to login to the game. We don't have a phone app yet, but you can buy physical authenticators for about $5-10 from our online store. Supplies are limited on all but the pink ones, act fast.

• Thanks to the thane community for all the suggested fixes to their class; we have taken these ideas and implemented a new class for Hibernia.
• Fix to doublefrost math error has been re-fixed. Again.
• Herald documentation of class abilities has been brought up to date using a build from 6 months ago.
• Cloudsong has been removed from the game.

Goddamnit you're bringing back Wizard memories.

Are links all ugly and underlined for everyone else now, or just me?

Everyone.

Please to be referring to this post. The next few pages might also prove enlightening/amusing.

So russellmz is to blame. Everyone tag russellmz, it's time for a public shaming.

russellmz

Good idea.

##Anabanana votes to lynch russellmz

/tries to be helpful, gets somebody strung up to the cross instead

As Ebly would say it: Good job Soli, well done you~

Not for me! The links are all underlined and easy to find and glorious, now. I get a tiny happy smile every time I see one.

Oh god people wanted this abomination? What fresh hell have you wrought?

Fools! I see my plans have come to fruition. Meanwhile I have already switched to another undisclosed theme where the links are easy to read yet not underlined. Enjoy your standard interface design hell! Muahahahaha

Muahahaha






Muahaha

• fixed: MulMizu wasn’t able to bite you while you were crawling;
• fixed: size of the moon;
• fixed: posters in bar vanish as you turn away from them;
• fixed: Lum does not cast shadows;
• fixed: a metal clanking sound plays, if Elyscape stabs the curtains;
• fixed: Soli-chan floats across screen at treetop level;
• fixed: Nute dies on contact with grenades, and not from the actual explosion

At this rate, you may have to. Wait til the inevitable client-side hacks start and admin will be issuing patches/rollbacks every day.

I still can't believe they nerfed the feels. I guess that'll make Talisker happy.

Thoro was in a film?

Nerf all you want, we'll make more.

FEELSFEELSFEELSFEELS
FEELSFEELSFEELSFEELS
FEELSFEELSFEELSFEELS
FEELSFEELSFEELSFEELS

Someone should probably confiscate shift6's amphetamines.

Wait, that was a bug? I thought that was an intended feature. It's Soli, after all...

She now floats on the surface of the moon.

Do you mean that he wasn't casting shadows and they've fixed it so that he does, or that he was casting shadows but wasn't supposed to?

Both at the same time.

ftfy

• Dark Wood Grain no longer performs fellatio and/or cunnilingus on players during roll animation
• Fixed summoning system after being broke in last patch
• Broke summoning system again

This is hilarious. I'm glad I saw this before someone added some stupid macro text explaining why it's funny.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/201...-storm-stranraer-car-dashboard_n_2566928.html