Shit I Overheard (or If It Wasn't For My Horse, I Wouldn't Have Spent That Year In College)

Well, no, that's why I asked... either it's the boss' money and she's gorgeous, or it's her family's money and the boss married in. Or she's rich AND gorgeous and your boss has decided that dumb is an acceptable loss.

I once knew a guy from Nantucket...

They both have/had money, both families are well off, both families are long lines of established Caucasians in Fairfield County, Connecticut. Not sure what other information you're seeking, here.

In general, I've found, while speaking to all members of their families that I've met through the years (I've worked for the company for a decade, now), that they're uniformly entitled and uniformly out-of-touch with anyone who doesn't earn more than a cool million a year.

He's dancing around the question of why the guy married someone that dumb. Unless he is also that dumb.

When a mommy mutual fund and a daddy stock portfolio love each other very much, there's a natural urge to produce dividends.

Established Caucasians would be a great name for a band.

Not exactly overheard, but the following was in a deposition report that crossed my desk today:

Off the record comments: The DA told me they don't do depos at their office because there is a ghost dog that scares clients.

Well if any thing, doing depos near Ghost Dog would be distracting to say the least.

Not necessarily inane, but it cracked me up. During the pre-recording bit for a segment on the BF Podcast that Astromarine is putting together:

So I've been sitting in this coffee shop for the last hour. It is where I/we go to look for houses. For the entire last hour I've listened to this weird middle-aged man (40-50s) in an ascot try to impress his date (30s) by railing against everything from the Nazis to how the food supply is poisoning this country (via food dyes, among other things). The topic of conversation has moved from the former to the latter by way of third world politics, feminism as a tool of modern undercover Nazis, our failing manufacturing sector being given away so we have an excuse to go to war to revitalize our manufacturing sector (wat), Republicans and Democrats were in cahoots to intentionally tank the world economy so that more people would start taking anti-depressants (wat) and how vaccines are a mind and body control agent being used to control the smarter members of the populace who are more resistant to mass media brainwashing.

I just caught the phrase "...is being used to sanitize the semantic subversives..." Oh my.

Semantic Subversives - more great band names!

I had a rare social evening last night, watching my friend's band play at my other friends restaurant, because that's how forty-year-olds get their kicks. Anyway, I cut through the Wilfred Laurier campus on my way home, winding my way through the drunken student population.

One particularly drunk and pudgy dude was blearily making his way down the sidewalk, and he passes three girls coming the other way. "Heads up, ladies," he slurred. "Some drunk asshole just pissed all over the sidewalk."

And one of the girls goes: "Oh, you mean a different drunk asshole?"

That's just mean!

Yeah, it was pretty cold. But accurate.

Overheard while two young women talked about student loans and the possibility of living on campus:
"Sorry, I don't know. I've never completed a FAFSA, and I don't work either."
"But it's so expensive! Did you get a scholarship?"
"No, my mom died when I was in JR high and my dad saved some of the insurance money to pay for my tuition."
"Oh, you're so lucky!"

One of my very young, attractive co-workers to a gentleman at one of her tables:
"You remind me of my father!"
When he gave her an awkward look, she attempted to defuse the situation with a sing-song, "And I'm a daddy's girl!"

That went from awkward to creepy real fast...

One thing I've always teased my friend about is when we were on a bus with a great view out over the Firth of Forth, and in an unthinking moment, she looked out and asked, "Is that Ireland?"


For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Scotland, the Firth of Forth is the estuary of the river Forth, which is that blue bit just north of Edinburgh.

...on the east side of the country.

"Nuclear weapons have a limited shelf life because the uranium will decay eventually into a stable element. So all these disarmament talks are moot because all the nukes are going to be useless soon anyway."

Now, occasionally I might be a little bit derpy when it comes to physics, but I do know bombs. Let's say you're talking a fissile core of, oh, Uranium-235. Same stuff they used in the Little Boy bomb. It will decay to Thorium-231 in... oh about four and a half billion years. So, I suppose for certain values of "limited"...

Ely, you are my hero.

Also, this thread title always makes me laugh.

From an email discussion with my D&D group, talking about upcoming Paragon tier plans:

Player: I'll be taking the standard bladesinger paragon path.
Me (the DM): You realize that has a power called "Bladesong Ballet", and that we are all going to laugh at you every time you use it, right?
Player: No, it'll be cool, like an epic 80's power ballet!
Other player: I think you mean power ballad. But power ballet sounds so much cooler!

You'd think with a name like Spandau Ballet, they'd rock harder.

This much is true.

"What does bisexual even mean? Explain to me how you can't just pick one and be done with it."

Two women walking past me.

To be fair, that's basically my father's attitude. "When I was growing up, we called that 'cheating.'"

"'ello, poppet."

In a super creepy voice from right behind me where a workman is outside securing my new windows. I am nowhere near the ground.

If I end up kidnapped by skeleton pirates/construction workers, someone come save me!

I want to go around saying that to random people today. THANKS A LOT

"About the only people I might quibble with are bisexuals, because I think we all agree at some point that these people are just incredibly greedy motherfuckers." -- Dennis Miller, before he went right-wing insane

That would be most apropos for people who are pansexual polyflexible switches, bless their lovely hearts.

Is he really British, or just incredibly pretentious?

No idea! He was outside on a cherry picker and I was inside at my desk. I was too creeped out to turn around.

Por que no los dos!?

Last night, at Target:
"DudedudedudedudeDUDE! These skullcandy headphones are only $5! They're normally $10! That's, like, 10% off!"
"No, dude, you're hella wrong. Try again."
"No, dude, they were $10, now they're $5, that's 10%."

I actually stopped in my tracks, did a double take and started laughing. (Yes, I know, shopping on Thanksgiving means I am evil. I don't care, I saved my company some serious cash on the bed-in-a-bags I picked up.)

Do people still say hella?

Even if we limit that question to this board, then about at least 18 times so far this year.

People in Northern California do.

All the cool people do.

Also: http://www.makehellaofficial.blogspot.com/

This is one of the few times I wish we had a dislike button.

Actually it's "hell of."