Star Control 2: The LP of Now and Forever

It's okay, I haven't officially visited their space yet. And it's high time I did.

Hmm. I suspect that Ferdie may have been a juffo-wup deep cover operative all along.

Since I'm completely out of fuel, I have no choice but to wait for the Melnorme pickup truck show up to bail me out.



Oh you'd better believe I do!

With the rainbow world location and a bunch of biological material, I am finally able to afford the final piece of Melnorme technology, the Shiva Furnace. I've cleared them out, and I can't wait to get back to Earth to install all these new upgrades in my ship.



Master Greenish, always polite when a customer is around.

I still have credits to burn with him though, so I figure I might as well use it to buy some information. Some of it is stuff I already know from other people (thanks, Greenish), but some of it is new. Like this plum!



Oh HELLS yes. Even though they have been providing me with decent salvage now that my weapons are upgraded, it's still super annoying to have to stop and fight a Slylandro probe every six seconds as I'm travelling through HyperSpace.



As luck would have it, this is almost exactly where I just came out.

All right, so I know I want to take a trip to see what the Ilwrath are up to, and I have that Vux Beast to find and the Mycon to question ... but it's about fucking time I saw to those probes!



See how close it is?



So I search every single planet that my lander can land on, but find nothing. WTF!

Oh right, the gas giants!



This is a pretty cool moment in the game, because by this point you've done so much mining that you are used to completely ignoring gas giants. They have moons, which you can land on, but gas giants themselves are uninhabited, and it's not even possible to send your lander onto one.

Until now!



Hey, look! Glowy things with native american names!



Meet the Slylandro! Cute little flashing light thingies who live on a Gas Giant and who have been terrorizing the Galaxy with their red probes.

Die?





Hmm, I'm starting to see the need for the robot probes. Well, let's kick off the diplomacy with some good old fashioned small talk. What the heck are those glowy bits?











Haha, the gas bags have balls!

Sorry for the five screenshots in a row, but it was a bit of a stammered answer.

These Slylandro seem nice, they made me feel a little bad for embarrassing them right of the bat.





AWWW YEAH. Gas bag action.

Star Control 2: The game where you can question aliens about their incorporeal nuts.

Say it with me: Nineteen Ninety Two.

So you can have a really long conversation with the Slylandro here, because this is literally the only place in the galaxy where you will ever meet them, and there's a lot of great back story they can give you about the Precursors and what the UrQuan were like before they turned green and evil, because the Slylandro live for thousands and thousands of years, being on a gas giant as they are. Rather than post all of that good stuff for you, let's cut to the chase; what the eff is going on with those probes?

I ask Content to Hover why their ships have been attacking me:



Turns out they got the probes from the Melnorme as a way to go out and scan for information. The probes have the ability to replicate to be able to cover more ground. Of course, I already knew they are replicating like crazy ... I run across one every damn day! The Slylandro bought it from the Melnorme, and then wrote a computer program to control what the probes do.

You can see where this is going. You know you're playing a game for geeks when there's a computer programming puzzle to solve. And this right after the alien sex innuendo! Time to strap on your debuggers, folks.



Here, in summary is the program the Slylandro wrote (and I paraphrase):

Code (text):

1. Target List Priorities = {
2.   Space Vessel (5)
3.   Transmission Source (4)
4.   Astronomical Anomaly (3)
5.   Planet Bearing Life Signature (2)
6.   Raw Replication Materials (1)
7. }
8.  
9. Behaviour Priorities {
10.   Communicate (5)
11.   Record Data (4)
12.   Analyze Data (3)
13.   Seek Replication Materials (999)
14.   Move to Current Target (1)
15. }
16.  
17. IF (no current target) {
18.   Select new target from Current Targets List, using specified priorities
19. }
20. IF (Current Position is at Current Target){
21.   Set Current Behavior to New Behavior, based on Behavior Priority Settings.
22. }
23. PERFORM (Current Behavior)

Can YOU find the bug?



Turns out the Slylandro shortsightedly jacked up the replicate priority to 999 without thinking about how it would affect the rest of the program!

Tsk, tsk, tsk. Slylandro. That's what you get for using an Array and an IF statement instead of a proper workflow engine. Also, have you heard of semaphores? Dummies.

By the way: Kidding! You don't actually have to debug any code in this game. You just talk them through the process via a Socratic method of getting them to answer questions about their program ... you know, how any good pretentious senior developer at any software company would have a snot-nosed intern programmer answer questions at a code review!

Still, isn't it fun to look at Betacorvian Pseudo Code every once in a while, my fellow geeks?



Well, let's see. The software has "shipped", so to speak. What are our options.



Did I hear Mega-Self-Destruct Code? I thought I heard Mega-Self-Destruct Code. It can't be that easy, can it? Surely, there isn't a Mega-Self-Desctruct Code?



Oh. Well okay then.

So now that I have a self-destruct code, any time I meet a probe in space, I can just transmit the code and collect the juicy salvage money (550 RUs a pop!), without having to go through the rigmarole of combat. Sweet!

Thanks, Slylandro! See you later, gas bags!

Happy New Year! Apologies for the lack of updates lately. Holiday busy time etc.

When we last left off, I had just finished putting a stop to those annoying Slylandro Probes. Since I'm up in an area of the galaxy that I've never been before, I figured I may as well do some exploring. PLOTTING COURSE TO RANDOM NEARBY STAR SIR!

After some random mining of uninhabited planets, I come across some strange ships.





Ooh, cigar-smoking rhinos! I wonder if they are friendly:



Hmmm, they are Heirarchy goons.

Meet the Thraddash! Blustering nincompoops who fly dinky little "Torch" starships that can shoot a little pippin bullet. Their special weapon is an afterburner which leaves a trail of fire behind them ... allowing a quick getaway, and will also cause damage if you run into it. In conversation, picture Biff Tannen from Back to the Future and you have a close approximation of what they are like.

The Thraddash try to continually improve their culture by ripping down everything they've learned and "conquering" themselves, constantly restarting. Not the most ... efficient way of running a society, but there you go.



You know what? When confronted with a bully, the best way to deal with him is to try to out-bully him. Let's go for it.



Hmmm. That didn't work.



Luckily their ships are absolutely no match for mine. Now that I have hellbore cannons which home on their target, it's literally a one-shot kill on these guys.

Unfortunately, killing that one Thraddash alerts the entire star system to me:



You know what? That was so easy, I figure I might as well kill a bunch of these little guys for scrap so that I can mine this system. Let's do this thing.







Unlike the Orz, which I could kill all day (with much more difficulty) and have no effect on their attitude towards me, killing Thraddash actually seems to have an impact:



I guess they aren't suitably impressed yet, and continue to attack me. But this little tidbit clues me in that maybe things will change if I keep killing Thraddash as much as possible.

sigh



And so on. Why you gotta make me hurt you, Thraddash?

All right, all right, enough is enough. What do you have to say to me now, and it had BETTER BE GOOD after making me kill so many of you.



Well I should say so!



And that was how I became The Great Teacher to a bunch of brutish rhinos. I think the appropriate thing to do here is to teach them to be a kinder, gentler, more enlightened race, who I can be proud to call my allies.



JUST KIDDING!



PIG LATIN!

And what shall their new culture be called?



FAT OBSTREPEROUS JERKS!

And how should they act when they meet other people?



WACKY!



I can't wait to see how my teachings turn out.

So after "befriending" the Thraddash, I head back to base to refuel, recrew, and make some final upgrades to the Twilight. Check it out:



Those black modules on the far right are my hellbore cannons. The one in front shoots directly forward, the second one sends two shots out at around 30 degrees from forward. This, combined with the tracking system (blue module on the far left) lets me hit an enemy with three devastating shots by just vaguely aiming in his direction.

The grey and red module that's second from the left is a point defense system. This is similar the the Earthling Cruiser's special weapon -- when little shuttle-sized things come close, I just hold down my "special" weapon, and they get zapped. Really useful for fighting UrQuan or VUX. In fact, when I have this equipped, they won't even use their special weapons because it's pointless.

I've downgraded to a single storage module now, from my previous three. Now that my ship is upgraded as far as it can go, I don't really need to spend much time mining anymore ... thank God! (although it is kind of fun). The only thing I really need resources for anymore is fuel, and I can get enough killing enemies for that.

The bulk of the rest of my ship is made up of Shiva Furnaces (those five grey modules in the middle) and Dynamos (the three little modules). Both of these help your batteries charge faster in combat. What I've got here is probably overkill, but it makes me pretty unstoppable against the more powerful ships like Ur-Quan. Note that I haven't replaced 100% of my dynamos with the new Shiva furnace I just bought from the Melnorme. It's actually inefficient to do so. Dynamos improve the delay it takes to start recharging, whereas Shiva furnaces only improve how much battery gets recharged. It's good to keep three dynamos on board for optimal battery operation.

MIN MAXING DISCUSSION OVER

Oh, by the way, you may have noticed I have a new ship in my fleet! Yeah, Hayes broke the news to me when I checked in with him upon my return:



They popped by to give me four Skiffs!

Nice little buggers. What a generous gift. *sells three of them*.

I still can't build their ships in my shipyard, but at least they can be represented as allies in The Empire of Bieber! I also sold off three of those Zoq Fot ships that I was gifted when I saved their planet. Because there's plenty more little tonguing devices where those came from!

I mean...

Anyway, I still don't have any clue where to find the VUX beast, but since I promised jordantigers that I'd visit the Ilwrath, let's do that instead.



Flying around in Ilwrath space, I am accosted by some aliens in hyperspace.





Hey! You're not Ilwrath!



It's the Pkunk! They have such happy music!

The Pkunk are buddist psychic birds. They're like that hippie aunt of yours who owns a Ouija Board and wears a moo-moo and her hair down to her waist. They also have a great sense of humour.

Their ships are probably my favourite in the whole game. Not because they're awesome (they're not) or because they can always beat other ships (they can't), but because they are just so damn fun to play. The Pkunk ship, as you see above, looks like a little blue butterfly. It is the fastest ship in the game ... faster than Spathi, faster than Slylandro, even faster than Androsynth in comet form. Their gun is a little bullet which does almost no damage. But it's their special ability that is where they really shine. Instead of an actual action they perform in combat, they have a random chance of reincarnating -- ship and all -- when killed. What you actually use the special ability key for in combat is to regenerate your fuel ... which you do by insulting the enemy. This means that you basically just hold down the special key to keep your battery recharged, and you will launch a steady stream of insults at your opponent, whenever your batter is low (which is all the time).

In a rare break in format, I've recorded a video from the Super-Melee portion of the game so you can see their ships in action. This fight is not canon from my story, it's just to show what the Pkunk ship is like, because you really have to hear the audio to appreciate it. In this video, I'm playing "Yompin", the Pkunk, and the computer is playing "Thwil", the Spathi.



Hallelujah!

So enough raving about how fun the Pkunk ship is to fly ... will they join my alliance?



Well that was easy.

And can I expect them to give me lots of Pkunk ships with which to fly?



Whooo!





No no. Ships and resources, ships and resources!



Yes? YES? IS IT A WEAPON THAT CAN DESTROY THE UR-QUAN?



/FACEPALM

So you killed several dozen of those rhino guys, became their conqueror and then reshaped their culture with Monty Python videos. Sweetness.


Also ohmygawd how did we get ourselves onto the Pkunk route? Not that I'm complaining.

Bwahahah. I see you are already familiar with the infamous Pkunk "Deathblossom" tactic.

Personally, I always thought that the Arilou ship was the most fun to play.

One of the highlights of the Pkunk special ability is the "Hallelujah" chorus when they resurrect.

A quick visit to the Pkunk Homeworld does in fact, prove more fruitful than "love".



Er...thanks? What is it for?



Okay. Chalk this one up to budget cuts during the quest writing stage of development. Hey, they also give me four ships to play around with, although like the Arilou, I can't build them in my shipyard yet.

So it turns out that the reason I met the Pkunk while I was looking for the Ilwrath is because this is actually the Pkunk home zone, and it's the Ilwrath who are intruding. They are trying to wipe the Pkunk out.

The Pkunk are understandable upset about this:



Or not!



Hmm, that's bad! This is the Pkunk's way of saying that things are pretty dire.

I guess it's time to go find the Ilwrath and put a stop to this genocide!

Luckily they are pretty easy to find in this neck of the woods:



SHUT YOUR CHITTERING MANDIBLE YOU EIGHT-LEGGED GIT!

Actually, let's see. What's the best way to piss off a religious zealot who takes himself far too seriously?

Why trolling him of course! Let's take a page from the book of Tom Chick's Greatest Trolling Techniques and say the names of his Gods wrong!



Ha ha doggone quasar.

Predictably, he falls for it.



In fact, he gets so pissed off, he tells me the location of his homeworld.



Hey, thanks Ugly!

Of course, there's the little matter of killing him now. Unlike the Ilwrath I fought way back at the start of the game, this guy has a functioning cloaking device, which renders my tracking system useless.



It means I have to guess at his location. As you may have noticed watching that video of me playing as a Pkunk ship, you can kind of get a sense for this based on how the screen is zooming in.



And...spidermeat.

Okay, so now I know where to go to confront the Ilwrath race. Notice that it's outside of their current sphere of influence:



This really is because they have left their home stars to wage war on the Pkunk. Well we'll just see about that!



So this is the heart of the dark Ilwrath empire, where they worship their evil Gods Dogar and Kazon.

So you're probably wondering what the heck I'm going to do at the Ilwrath homeworld, surrounded by thousands of their ships. Well, let me harken back to a little piece of information that the Melnorme sold me a few weeks ago. FLASHBACK!

Apparently, the Umgah -- an old Hierarchy race from Star control 1 that we've heard a lot about but haven't met yet -- pulled a prank on the Ilwrath to get them to attack the Pkunk:





Huh. You don't say? Could it be anything like THIS hyperwave caster that the Spathi gave me a little while ago?



I wonder what will happen if I turn this baby on. Gimme a sec to jimmy with the blinkenlights...



OH LOOK, MY OWN PERSONAL SPIDER ARMY!

What shall we make them do, I wonder?



Time to take a little bit of starch out of these stuffed shirts!



Good idear oh Lord! (Course it's a good idea!)



DWE!



Hahahahahaha idiots.

Okay, enough messing around. Let's see if we can't get these idiots to stop attacking the Pkunk:



See? All you need is a big enough loudspeaker, and you can be the next Moses.



Er, wait. I didn't mean for you to attack someone else...



Heh. Oh.

Well, I didn't like those Rhinos much anyway...

Bwahaha. I love how differently you play this game than I do - more a force of galactic mirth than one of justice. I dig it! We still end up with identical ship designs, though.

The Pkunk are great. And while I am, quite frankly, abysmal at ship-to-ship fighting, I also like their ships a lot.

Also, I like the way the Thraddash respond if you tell them to "be just like us."

Do we get to see the spiders and the rhinos go at each other throats? Cause that would be pretty awesome.

Thraddash are the coolest though. Using their ships is such a joy against the AI. I'm always a little bit sad that they seem to

Also, the Thraddash theme is the second best in the game.

With the Yehat as the best?

*happy flails* This is...everything I never knew I really wanted. (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ
/extra emote added for the kawwaaaiiiness factor

I'm guessing the Shofixti are your favourite?

Also rather partial to the Orz just because haha Orz = OTL yanno~!

Thanks for doing this let's play. I've been a fan of SC2 since I played it when it came out. All the characters are great, if only there was a way to convince 'Toys for Bob' to make a line of Star Control 2 themed Skylanders or something.

HOLY CRAP GUYS! So much has happened.

Okay, so after siccing the Ilwrath on the Thraddash, I figured that the decent thing to do was to fly up there and see if I could warn 'em. Even in that short amount of time, the Ilwrath already started making their move.



That's the Ilwrath on the move. Here, as I fly into Thraddash space from where my portal spawner dumped me, you can see how much progress they've already made. At least the Pkunk are safe!



Now let's see if I get the chance to give my slaves ... er ... "allies" a chance to know what's coming.



You know what? You two deserve each other. Warmongering cretins.

Look Thraddash, I don't want to have to kill a billion of your ships again. Do you have anything useful to tell me?



Hmm, yeah, great, whatever ...



What, what?



HOT DIGGITY DAMN! Does that sound to you like what it sounds like to me?

I think we know where our VUX beast is, people!

See you Thraddash! Uh, by the way, the Ilwrath are coming to kill you. Anyway! I've got a beast to capture so ... good luck with all that.



Let's see if old Mr. Thraddash was telling the truth.



Hmm, water world, lots of life on the surface, looking good so far.



I don't see anything particularly horrifying down here ye...



Ahhhhhhhhh!!

Or anyway, I would be scared if I didn't have my landers enhanced with full Melnorme technology! (see the four little crests next to my lander in the bottom right corner there? That's showing immunity to lightning, earthquakes, fire, and aliens).

Not to mention faster guns!



He definitely takes a beating though.

Woooo! Finally.

I think it's time to pay a visit to Admiral ZEX.

Dang it, I thought I watched this thread.

Also, THE SOUNDS I MADE WHEN THE PKUNK APPEARED; THEY WERE NOT HUMAN.

I love this LP.

I pop open a quick QuasiSpace portal and warp down to the closest portal I can get to VUX space. Let's get going!



Ooh, a ship in hyperspace? It's gotta be a VUX patrol. I could easily outrun him, but why not intercept? Maybe I can see what he thinks of the present I have for Admiral ZEX!



Whoa, those aren't VUX!



FLYING SPACE DINOSAURS! My life is complete.



Meet the Yehat! Another ally from Star Control 1. The best way to describe them is as Humourless British Pterodactyl Paladins. Read all of their dialog with a heavy brogue, if you can.

Their ships are small little crescent-moon fighters that are great skirmishers. They have decent speed and health, a dangerous short-range twin-barrel pulse cannon, and their special ability is a force shield that protects them from most physical attacks.

The Yehat were great, loyal friends to humans during the first war. I would love to have them on my side now. But why on earth are they working for the UrQuan?!? Perhaps it was the death of the Shofixti race? The Yehat were like parents and protectors to the cute little Shofixti (must have been the samurai code they responded to), and without those little guys around, maybe the Yehat figured, hey, why not joint the Hierarchy? Pretty cowardly. Let's find out!





Hmm, do I detect dissension among the rank and file? What's the deal?



Oh, I get it. They're just following orders. How'd that work out for the Nazis at Nuremberg, big-beak?

Time to hit him where it hurts - his morality center (I'm told it's large in the pteranodon frontal cortex).





sigh

Well, as interesting as this juicy dilemma of honour vs. duty is, as as much as I'd like to turn a fellow soldier against the nobles of his race in a mighty mutiny of justice, I've got a beast to deliver and I don't have time for petty pleasantries. Let's cut to the chase. Even bony armoured dino-birds have hearts, right?

Hey guys, guess what? The Shofixti are alive!





Er ... well, Tanaka isn't here right now. Um. Well...



Damn.

These guys are obviously distressed at having to obey their immoral orders, and they're taking out their frustrations on me. Unfortunately, they're doing that in the form of bullets.



It's a tough fight, because I don't have anything which can get past his shield. Luckily, Yehat's shields can't stay up forever, and I've upgraded my batteries enough to be able to send out blast after blast at them.

Please forgive me, Weep-eep. You died nobly in battle, as your father hoped you would.

So with the Yehat warriors ... sniff ... dispatched, I can continue my journey to visit Admiral ZEX.

Alpha Cerenkov is pretty quiet. No other VUX ships in sight.



All right. It's the moment you've been waiting for since ... er ... page 2! Confrontation with ZEX.



I wish I could say the same, tentacle-face.



Sorry, ZEX, but I don't go in for those back-door shenanigans. Sure I'm flattered. Maybe even a little curious. But the answer is NO!



Ha ha ha, good one. This guy! *looks around* awkward!



What is this, Cinemax? STOP TALKING!

Here, take your beast, and give me my Shofixti girls!

You kids got the Cinemax reference, right?



Moistened Chiton? Oh God. He's going to make me watch, isn't he?



Good lord, I just realized that tentacle thing on his face ISN'T HIS NOSE.

Look bub. I'm not sending the beast over till I get my Shofixti maidens.



Okay, well, I guess I'll send the beast over then...



Question: Is everything this guy says a god damn euphemism?



Answer: FUCK YES.

YOU BASTARD. I knew I couldn't trust this asshole.





When this guy says Menagerie of Monsters, does anyone else picture Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau? There's a robbery at Woolworth's!

I'm sorry. ZEX, you were saying? What do I need to fucking fetch for you now?



Oh.

Well then.

I don't know whether to be flattered or offended. Here I thought ZEX found me beautiful. You mean to tell me that he's found me hideous the whole time, like every other VUX in space, only it just so happens that hideous things turn him on?



Um, no thanks! Kisses!

Listen, it's been a blast and all, but I'm just gonna have Mugs pop down to your planet for those Shofixti maidens and we'll be on our way. Thanks for the great compliments, uhm, don't worry to much about the moistened chiton next time, all right? and ...



...shit...



"Modified" Intruder? Precursor warp nullifier?

Double shit.

















And that was the last of Admiral ZEX.



Let's head down to the surface to see if we can find those maidens.



Woooo!

Looks like we'll have a little surprise the next time we see Tanaka.

Not only did I get the Cinemax reference, I also caught The Simpsons joke. 30-somethings, up top!

Oh, oh, I will, sir! :D

... And then he died. :(

Or in other words, that last update left me giggling manically.

You could have ran from the Yehat :P
Aside from that, it's a shame things went sour with Admiral ZEX, but I'm sure he makes better beast meat than us.

I could have. The thing is, the warp device takes lot of time to take effect , and while you're waiting for it to kick in you're a sitting duck. If you're far enough away, you can chance it, but if a Yehat gets in close he could potentially kill me before I could get away.

Plus, I don't want to seem a coward in front of the Paladin :).

Alas, poor ZEX. We knew him well. Although not quite as well as he would have liked, I'm sure.

But that is what the fanbase is for.

.....DAK-TAK-LAKPAK!

I said, we don't talk about that!

Oh Mr. Shofixti! I've got a surprise for you!



Time to head to ol' Tanaka's hangout in the Gorno system and give him the surprise of his life!



Desu Ka, Shofixti? You have no idea.



Let's see. How shall I put this?



Yes, you read right. Star Control 2 allows you to choose a dialog option which implies that Space Porn exists.

Nineteen Ninety Two.

Tanaka is a little dense though.



Or maybe he just can't believe his good luck. So I spell it out for him.



By the way, "Bevy of Fecund Shofixti Nubiles" will be the name of my band.





Don't worry though, it's not creepy:



And that's it! Tanaka doesn't stick around to chat:



Hmm. All this sex being had (or heavily innuendoed) lately has me thinking about my own sex life ... or lack thereof. I know you guys were hoping for a ZEX/Human romance, but it was not to be, and clearly the Shofixti have what they're looking for. It's time to turn my attention back to my future girlfriend to be, Talana the Syreen. I promised her I'd visit her destroyed homeworld to see if I can figured out what happened to it.

HAREM END

Tanaka style.

"Ribald feats of unsurpassed fertility" is among my favorite euphemisms. It's right up there with skoodilypooping.

So back when I was talking to Talana, she mentioned the location of her homeworld:



If you remember, I passed on to Talana some information that the Arilou gave me ... namely, that the Mycon -- an evil Hierarchy race -- destroy planets with their "deep children". Talana asked me to obtain some proof for her. Before I head back to Betelgeuse to talk to her, I had better visit the remains of Syra to see what I can find.



It's an uneventful trip to Syra, but when I get there, there's an unwanted visitor:



Look, it's a Mycon!



Hi!

Uh ... what's Juffo-Wup?



Who? Dave's not here!

So, meet the Mycon! The most powerful Hierarchy race from Star Control 1 outside of the Ur Quan. Aside from the Orz they are probably the most alien of the alien races. They are essentially a sentient fungus that thrives on super hot planets. It's not clear whether they worship Juffo-Wup as their God, if it is a philosophy that defines their culture, or if it's like a sixth sense through which their species perceives the world. What is clear is that they'll ramble about their reproduction cycle as though it had the profundity of scripture. In a way they are creepy, and almost zombie-like. You simply cannot reason with them. They're the sort of alien John Wyndham might come up with. I mean that as praise.

I wonder how best to deal with weirdos like this?



Ah yes. A fungus joke.

I'd like to say I offended it, but pretty much any dialog option you choose will yield the following result:



Heh. Turgid.

Like I said. There's no real communication happening here yet. Combat it will have to be.



The Mycon fly giant red biological spore pods which spew slow-moving plasma clouds out of a giant sphincter. It can only fire two at once, and they move slowly, but last a long time. The plasma clouds are most dangerous when they are small and compact; over time, they dissipate, and if they hit you right before they vanish you won't take much damage.

The Mycon's special ability allows it to use its entire battery to regenerate more crew ... like a fungus.

The Mycon is a slow-moving ship, and what is interesting is how differently they fight from the other races in this game. Most ships will try to close to within range as fast as they can and hit you with guns or special weapons. Because the Mycon doesn't really have a weapon that needs to be aimed, it will instead head for the planet you are orbiting, circle around it and use the gravity to "whip" itself at a high speed drift through space. Then it just has to use its thrusters to do minor course corrections to keep that speed going. This allows it to stay away from you, regenerating crew that you manage to kill when it zips by you, while hoping that its plasma will catch you and kill you.

If my ship were in its un-upgraded state, I would probably be utterly destroyed by one Mycon. Fortunately, I'm fast enough that I can escape from the plasma, and my guns are powerful enough to catch the Mycon as he zooms by me.



Bye bye, Floos. Next time I'll saute you and put you on my steak.

Let's take a look at the surface of the former Syra:



The game refers to this as a "Shattered World". You'll find many worlds like it in Mycon space. What used to be a blue and white water world full of life is now a dead, almost frozen vacuum world riddled with earthquakes. It's horrible.

Let's visit!



A few base metals here and there. Then, Mugs happens upon an unusual caldera:

It's a Mycon Egg Case!

I think that's all the evidence I need for Talana, yeah? Time to head back to Betelgeuse and show her what we discovered.

Unlike giving the beast to admiral ZEX, I don't have any compunction of just handing over the Mycon Egg Case to Talana.



I mean, it was kind of obvious, wasn't it?



Nice. Nothing like an entire race of fire-up amazons, spoiling for a fight!



Wooooooo...



..oooooo?

Okay. Well, I can dig a little revenge, especially if it's against an old Hierarchy member like the Mycon.

So, can I tag along with the ... er ... full-frontal Syreen attack?



Oh right. Penetrators. We need Penetrators.

You know, Talana, I've got a ... never mind.

When the Ur-Quan enslaved the Syreen on Betelgeuse, they took ownership of their armada of ... erm ... Penetrator starships. The Syreen obviously have the knowledge to make more, but not the resources ... they don't have someone like me hopping around the galaxy gathering minerals to power their factories. And until I help them get revenge on the Mycon, they aren't going to send me plans to make their ships myself. So I guess I've got to find their lost ships.



sigh. Looks like my mission to ally with the Syreen isn't over just yet.

As I sadly depart Talana again, she gives me a hint of what the quest reward is though. Attention dating game fans: here is the dialog option screen for you!



Which option do you think matches my character for this LP hmm? Stoic nobility? Blushing friend zone? Selfish jerk? Coward?

Nope, smarmy dick it is!

Talana doesn't seem to mind.





I must be a pretty charming smarmy dick!

Aside: This certainly isn't the first game to let you romance an NPC. After all, the Leisure Suit Larry games predate it by several years! But I do believe that Talana here, this NPC, is responsible for the romance element of the Bioware RPG games, from Baldur's Gate right through to Mass Effect 3. So if you like that element of those games, take a look at the inspiration!

Kind of a step down compared to Admiral ZEX, but hey, Captain Bieber of the starship Twilight won't say no to that!