Stories that could be Onion articles...but aren't.

Discussion in 'The Sanctum Santorum' started by RyanMM, Feb 11, 2013.

  1. RyanMM Magister Mundi Elyscape

    Location:
    Ferndale, MI
    Eric T. Cheng likes this.
  2. extarbags Already Beat BF's New Expansion

    SEAGAL.
    ARPAIO.


    ABOVE THE LAW
    Eightball, Alligator, Raife and 3 others like this.
  3. RyanMM Magister Mundi Elyscape

    Location:
    Ferndale, MI
  4. Shake Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    Location:
    Portland
  5. RyanMM Magister Mundi Elyscape

    Location:
    Ferndale, MI
    The cheese smuggler thread seems more whimsicle. My intent is to highlight the ones that are depressing as fuck.
    Shadarr likes this.
  6. wigglestick Beer

    Location:
    Columbia, MO
    Feeling down? Long day at work? Grab a whimsicle and get ready to daydream the rest of your day away! Whimsicle! Pure frozen whimsy on a stick! Refrigerate after opening.
  7. jerri blank Despondent Fancybear

    extarbags and RyanMM like this.
  8. Raife Magister Mundi Elyscape

    Frozen whimsy, a tasty treat.
    Randissimo and RyanMM like this.
  9. Bahimiron Already Beat BF's New Expansion

    Repeated Joke, a bitter disappointment. D:
    Elyscape, Randissimo, dermot and 2 others like this.
  10. Raife Magister Mundi Elyscape

    This is what happens when I post from my phone. That said, Ryan can always use more ridicule.
    Elyscape, RyanMM and Bahimiron like this.
  11. Heart Attack Grill spokeman Dies of...
    Elyscape, FerdieLance and RyanMM like this.
  12. Quitch Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    Location:
    UK
  13. MrsWidget Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    not as bad as it sounds, there were criminals being pursued in a high speed chase, and reports of shots fired and that one of the suspects had a gun. As it turned out, when the smoke cleared and they got to the suspects' car (with the two dead suspects in it) there were no guns in it -- the only shooters had been police.
  14. JoshV Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    That uh, still sounds pretty bad.
    Jacquelle, Elyscape, Caya and 10 others like this.
  15. Pogo Hard Cider Gal

    Like the shootout scene from The Corner.
  16. MatthewF Elitist Negative Nancy

    140 rounds in under 30 seconds, the car the were chasing in the middle, and dozens of cops on each side. Man, it would suck to be in the middle of all that. Imagine if the shootout got so out of control that the cops just all killed each other.
    Shake likes this.
  17. MrsWidget Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    No arguments, but the headline "Massive Police Shootout in Cleveland Despite Lack of Criminals" makes it sound like it was just out of the blue.
    Elyscape and Lizard_King like this.
  18. Otterloop Beardy Magnificence

    If only those criminals had guns this never would have happened
    Jacquelle, Elyscape, Makai and 8 others like this.
  19. MatthewF Elitist Negative Nancy

    Heh, the statements from some of the cops involved pretty much follow the same pattern: "I was afraid for my/my partner's life SO I JUST SHOT ALL THE THINGS!"
    Jacquelle, Makai, extarbags and 4 others like this.
  20. Sheepherder Armchair Designer

    Location:
    Canada
  21. Shake Keeper of the Elemental Materials

    Location:
    Portland
    I watched it on an airplane. It was better than trying to get comfortable and fall asleep on an international flight without booze.
  22. RyanMM Magister Mundi Elyscape

    Location:
    Ferndale, MI
    Elyscape and MatthewF like this.
  23. MatthewF Elitist Negative Nancy

  24. Matthew Gallant Despondent Fancybear

    Location:
    Austin, TX
    A friend or a relative of one of his ex-girlfriends said that there were multiple incidents where the ex-girlfriend was threatened with a gun.
  25. MatthewF Elitist Negative Nancy

    Man, he shot her 4 times. One bullet wasn't enough, I guess. I really rooted for the guy during the Olympics, too, which makes me remember that just because you can like an athlete or celebrity, doesn't mean that off-camera they're not complete nutjobs or killers.
    Elyscape and RyanMM like this.