Yep admitting a 'weakness' like that would be just like putting blood in the water around a bunch of sharks.
Not if you don't start a whole new thread about it. That's just asking for people to make fun of you for being stupid. Someone on the forum makes you uncomfortable. Do you: A. Start a thread about it and leave in a huff, except not really leave because you keep checking back and posting to make sure people are talking about you. B. Ask in the thread that people stop. C. PM the people making fun of you to say it's making you uncomfortable when they retell an old joke. Hint: A is always, always going to make it worse. B might make it worse, but it might also make people back off. At the very least it will make those other people look like assholes. C will probably work and if it doesn't, you can now show Lum that you acted like an adult and asked people to stop and let him handle it.
Jesus Christ people, I've met Repo in person, he's a really nice guy. He's never said or done anything remotely controversial that I can remember, he's the reason I ever discovered BeardyMan. He makes a couple posts that some people slightly find attention whoring, and the whole fucking forum comes down on him gleefully. Seriously people? I don't consider myself a particularly sensitive person, and I don't read all the threads here so maybe some of this is deserved, but if you guys don't see a certain unmistakable streak of malice that runs through this forum, you need to step back and consider that Gus and RepoMan both have left because of people being assholes here. Gus and RepoMan. Seriously guys, when you're running off people like that...it might be time to reevaluate your respective definitions of "mild ribbing". What's so predictable is that this is my second post defending someone who has bailed due to forum aggression, so I suppose this will be my 'thing' in the future. Sorry to pull a "BaconTastesGood". Or is that [/btg]?
Uh, Repoman didn't leave because people were mean to him. Read his original post. He's not posting on online forums IN GENERAL. P.S. he gave his blessing for people to make fun of him in that very same post.
When Thoro asked people to stop talking about his beard Every. Goddamn. Post., that was a good example of a success story. Perhaps because he surgically applied it each time it came up until people "got it" rather than starting a whole thread about it. (and so the anecdote wars continued...) FWIW, last night at the Bay Meetup "BTG" was used to indicate things about clothing. Example sentence: "I need to BTG up my wardrobe and go buy a pair of nice black pants."
I like Broken Forum for a lot of reasons: we have a community full of funny, intelligent users with a diverse set of interests watched over by an awesome administrator. I feel extremely fortunate to have stumbled across this place, and I look forward to staying here. But I've noticed lately that even the same people I find funny and intelligent can act very aggressively and dickishly to others who slip up. These users who slip up aren't Vetarnias or singul, who troll and offend with reckless abandon. They have their own quirks. Being extremely pedantic, mentioning they're not doing something -- these aren't offensive. At best, they're mildly annoying. Fair game for a friendly poke or two? Perhaps. But that's not what I see going on here. It's one matter if an individual's harping on someone -- that individual is an asshole and needs to chill the fuck out. But when a whole number of individuals who I consider to be important contributors jump into a feeding frenzy? Yeah, that's not just individuals being assholes, this is a cultural issue: one where if anyone slips up and makes a mistake like everyone does, the community has free reign to tell that person to fuck off. Two people now have left the community because they felt like the target of a community joke, the second now in a matter of hours. Surely they're just exceptions! They just bruise easily. Maybe they should just toughen up, grow a thicker skin, ask people to stop if it gets too bad. But other users who aren't the butt end of the joke feel this is inappropriate. Other users have asked people to lay off. And instead of letting go, the community sinks its teeth in harder. Instead of letting the joke fucking go, they pester the victim on Steam, crack a few more witticisms, high-five each other. Seriously? I admit I've made my own Gus jokes, and Bryce most appropriately told me how hypocritical and inappropriate it was. Maybe when this happened the first time, you didn't realize how much community piling occurred and why the first person left. What's your excuse this time?
If that's the characterization you want to put in order to make it seem like a bunch of people weren't assholes, go for it, but I'm going to go out on a fucking limb here and say that the account cancellation which happened after the string of dickish comments wasn't a coincidence. My guess is that he wanted to mention he wasn't going to be around as much (so as to avoid any "Where's Gus?" stuff), but didn't want to blame the forum itself. So he made it into a "I have other things to do" thread instead of a "You guys are assholes" thread. Thankfully he didn't need to do the latter, we managed all by ourselves. Well played guys.
I think the ribbing happened because he created a whole thread for it. A single post in some other thread probably would have drawn less negative feedback/joking. Bahimiron's just being Bahimiron. He even picks on jpinard, ferchrissake.
You can guess all you want. My guess is he knew he was being an attention whore, thus posted that he would come back later to see all the flame throwing, and was going to have his account toggled anyway since Elyscape posted asking about that like the third post in the thread. Anyone else want to guess? Perhaps with italics? Cause I don't see anywhere, anywhere, where Repoman singles out Broken Forum or how he was treated here as a reason for leaving. So...what? Perhaps those of you posting have your own issues, but don't put them on Repoman, who appears to know what he was doing.
I don't see how making a single thread about taking a hiatus justifies a string of fuck offs. This is in no way all Bahimirion's doing. But I do take issue with "Well X is just being X." So what, because X is an asshole, it's okay to make these kinds of jokes? Just let it slide, doesn't matter? Because you could equally claim "Well it's just the community being the community. You know how it is." And that claim just has so many problems jutting out of it. In the original post, RepoMan doesn't say he's leaving Broken Forum. He says he'll be here less. I assume that means he plans to drop by. Or planned to. Can you stop assuming I have personal issues and making ad hominem claims? I have no intention of leaving Broken Forum over this incident or any other incident for that matter, but someone with good contributions has to throw in the towel with "OK I dig it" and promptly thereafter cancels their account, despite having planned earlier to be on less, I believe the community drove them out.
My point is that Bahimiron's post is not representative of the entire thread; it had a bit more venom than most of the others, and that's one thing we can always count on from him. You're right that things probably got a little out of hand, and I'm sorry for the part I played in that. I am also SO grateful that this can turn into another round of navel-gazing.
RepoMan left without posting his blog URL and his profile is no longer accessible now, so here it is: http://robjsoftware.org/
I happen to like my forums with a streak of malice. Perpetual niceness makes for dull conversation. I'm not happy to see people leave but I don't lament their leaving either. You can't make everybody happy, nor can you make a place appealing to everyone's sensibilities. You're absolutely right. It is a cultural issue. A culture I happen to like. So you made a mistake and people made fun of you on the internet. Next week no one will care unless you make the same mistake again.
Yeah, can we stop with the whole "OMG STOP BEING SO MEAN!" routine every time someone pokes fun at anything? Besides Bahimiron's slightly dickish jab, everything else in this thread (prior to all the preachy posts, anyway) have been silly ribbing toward RepoMan for being a bit dramatic about "leaving" the forum. If I do something dumb, I fully expect anyone who likes me at all to make fun of me for it. I mean good grief, save this outrage for genuinely hateful stuff.
I'm back and no cat gifs. I am disappointed. Having caught up on this thread, I'm disappointed even more because of the overreaction. RepoMan overreacted. This thread was unnecessary. If I had done the same thing I would have fully expected to be teased about it. But as calls to attention go, it's pretty innocuous and done without any ill intent, so I'd also expect the teasing to be of the kinder, gentler sort. I also don't think this is a huge 'sharks out for blood' that some are making it out to be. Did the teasing go too far? I haven't seen anyone reference any specific posts, so I am curious as to where the line was crossed. Was it Bahimiron's posts? I think they were mean-spirited and not the kind of thing I'd like to see here (obviously not an opinion shared by all) but that's just his thing. If anyone seriously objects to those posts, hit the report link and explain your objection. Other than that, this seems much ado about nothing, drama being generated for its own sake. My suggestion would be for Lum to lock this dang thread and get back to drinking (which we are collectively driving him to).
Slightly? Oookay. eta: There's a world of difference between mild ribbing / giving someone some grief in a funny way (which is what quatoria did) and Bahimiron deciding to demonstrate that yes, for once, someone will be more of an asshole than Adree.
One reads the secret santa thread and then something like this one and wonders if the threads are even on the same forum.
I've been refraining from quoting particular posts because I don't mean to pin the blame on any particular individuals. We shouldn't approach this as a blame game of "Whose post made RepoMan leave?" The important issue is how to prevent this kind of incident from flaring up again. RepoMan cared. Apparently he cared enough to leave. Brushing this off as "You can't appeal to everyone's sensibilities" is a fancy way of saying "If you don't like it, fuck off because I'm not going to try." Do we really want to head down this way? I'm not arguing for a censorship of all sarcastic jibes and jokes ever. I love sarcasm when used appropriately. I'm arguing for people to ease up on their comments, stop being assholes over a slight mistake. Mild ribbing between friends is one thing, but people don't seem to recognize what qualifies as mild ribbing and what qualifies as outright assholery.
I'd argue that you're the one that doesn't get it. But then, I agree with Kalle. Stop saying Repoman cared. He did not leave Broken Forum because Broken Forumites were mean to him. He is leaving all online forums that he posts in because his life has changed and his interests are now elsewhere. READ HIS ORIGINAL POST. Jesus Christ, you guys.
Wrong, his original post said he would be coming by here less. Not that he would never come back ever again. That happened AFTER the responses and crap he got from people here.
I look forward to your plan to put an end to Internet dickishness. When you're done here, could you head over to Youtube and see if you can get those commenters to be nicer and spell better? Brett, in all sincerity, if anyone here is entitled to leave in a butt-hurt huff, it's you. People have been far, FAR meaner to you than they have been to Gus and RepoMan put together. Yet here you still are, dishing it out and taking it. Why is that? Is it because your perspective is better/different?
I'm not advocating being an asshole, either, but how many people in this thread are actually being assholes? Should we focus on the meanest post and apply that to everyone else who posts in the same thread?
Right. And notice that post was not "OMG YOU ARE ALL SUCH ASSHOLES I CANNOT TAKE IT!" It was: "I dig it." So I think the people taking offense are taking it for themselves. Repoman seems to have had a good handle on his situation and how to handle it. You want to throw a fit about Broken Forum's posting styles? Fine. Just don't pretend you're doing so for Repoman and the insult you THINK he felt. I think he was pretty clear that he knew exactly what this thread would bring and he did not care.
I got a completely different meaning out of Bahimiron's post. Leaving BF because one doesn't game as much any more is somewhat missing the point. We "hack" politics, economics, electronics, cooking, sewing, giftgiving...it's hardly just a gaming forum. If you want to go hack more, go hack more and come tell us about it. Chances are you'll inspire someone or learn something about it. Making this thread was silly because leaving for that reason is silly. If it's something else, share that. This thread proves we love our melodrama. That's what I thought Bahimiron was pointing out. I like Rob. He's a good guy who worked hard to get me in the door at MS. I'll miss him, but don't start blaming others for his decision.
He didn't, but why would he subsequently ask for his account to be locked if he planned to be here "less" and to "pop in periodically"?
It's clear to me he didn't plan to close his account when he posted the thread and that the treatment he got prompted that. What's still an open question, IMHO, was whether that was an overreaction. Still IMHO, yes.
Could you guys wring your hands any harder over this? Repoman started a thread specifically to talk about himself and received some gentle mockery and Bahimiron admitted he doesn't like Repoman in just about the most toothless and inoffensive way possible. Has everyone around here really mellowed to the extent that this is the substance of our artificial forum drama? Someone doesn't like someone else and said so in a thread appropriate for that sort of thing? Chill out.
Perhaps he realized (as was implied by his first post) how silly it was to post a "I'm leaving, NO WAIT!" thread and figured he was shifting his life anyway and why not? Perhaps he had not realized that would be a good idea until Elyscape posted that his account could be toggled. I am assuming that Lum allows people who post Goodbye! threads to have their accounts unlocked at some point in the future if they do decide they want to come back. I believe he locked at least one account once without the guy asking because he posted a Goodbye! thread and why would you do that if you didn't want to actually leave? Edit: Aha, it was Tessen who probably would have been banned for body of work at some point anyway, but his "I'm leaving!" post is up there as a reason for account closing. My major point is that Repoman has even less of a reason for people to White Knight him than Gus did. You want to talk about the tone of Broken Forum and what you like and don't like, that's fine. But taking up the cause of an adult that has decided to leave for their own reasons (and in this instance, I do not see ANY place where Repoman called out Broken Forum's players in any way) is stupid. And if that makes me hostile and hateful or whatever, I weep for the thin skins of people on the internet these days. Cause honestly. How do you survive?
These are my own thoughts, and I am not pointing at anyone specifically: I don't know what got into everyone's water lately, but there does seem to be a sudden burst of prickly-ness in a few threads. I thought it was more or less isolated and contained, but it seems to be suddenly spreading. Repo might have been asking for it by making the thread, but some of the reactions seem a little on the vicious side. *If* it was just one thread, I'd just write it off as an aberration, but at this point it doesn't seem to be. Just because you can be an asshole on the internet doesn't mean you should be.
I dunno, man, I think that humor makes things far more inoffensive. The "Dave Long Depreciation Thread" was hilarious, for all that it was a way to bash a poster.
Thank you for your insight. You're right, my campaign to end all internet dickishness could be difficult. No wait, I just wanted to have people on in a particular community stop driving each other out due to assholery. I can't believe the two goals are actually completely different! People have left Broken Forum over this kind of assholery. That's what matters, not whether a particular someone hasn't left yet. Obviously some people have thicker skins than others do, that's no earth-shattering revelation. Neither is that people can make bad decisions when put on the spot. What is the issue is that the community is forcing people to make these decisions in the first place. There doesn't need to be an outright admission that Broken Forum made RepoMan leave. The circumstantial evidence points towards RepoMan leaving as a result of the reaction towards his thread. Gus only admitted that he left Broken Forum due to becoming the butt end of a community meme because someone harrassed him. With RepoMan's account locked, I doubt we'll get that kind of a response. But RepoMan's reaction -- that is, leaving the forum after the community jumps on him as the next big punching bag -- mirrors Gus's departure from Broken Forum. How many people have to leave in order for you to recognize that there's a pattern to all of this -- one that's driving people away?
We're coming up on the one-year anniversary of the Great QT3 Bannenation, and thus we are entering high drama season. Also, winter sucks.
