The "I don't have health insurance, so help me avoid the doctor" thread

May I cordially suggest avoiding the full Van Gogh? Unless you're prepared to deal with a whole lot of blood loss in a very short time, that particular form of relief may not be worth it.

Not to mention that cultivating a friendship with a teenage prostitute in order to send her your ear takes time.

I said no medical advice!

It's not medical advice. It's self-preservation and social advice. :)

Aw,man, I used to get "swimmer's ear" ever freaking summer as a kid. It's horrible. You have my sympathies, Marged!

Swimmer's ear sounds horrific. Is it related to ducks the same way swimmer's itch is?

No, I don't think so, and you don't need to have been swimming to get it (I haven't gone swimming all summer). For months I've had scaly, itchy skin in my ear. (Gross, I know.) The infections are a new development but I suspect it's all related.

The important thing is keeping your ears dry. The NP I saw recommended 50/50 vinegar and rubbing alcohol drops and drying the ears on the low setting with a hair dryer after the shower.

Weird question. Sometimes I get... well, I refer to it as "food-drunk." I actually feel tipsy after eating. Usually it's a minor annoyance, but last night after eating dinner I was so "drunk" I was disoriented and couldn't drive. It's been that bad a couple of times before, usually when I hadn't had any protein in a while. (Like, the worst time it ever happened was over a decade ago. I decided to stop being a vegetarian and ate a steak, and dear jeebus I was drunk as anything off it. Slurring, staggering, the works. If I hadn't been riding with a friend I would have had to take a cab home. Yes, seriously.)

I have my fasting blood sugar tested three times a year like clockwork because of my medications, and it's always exactly where it should be. When I was younger I had problems with hypoglycemia... Anybody ever heard of this? Next time I see my doctor I'll ask him about it. I just wondered if anyone had ever heard of such a thing. My MIL is a retired nurse, and she'd never seen such a thing...

That does sound related to low blood sugar, so I'd definitely bring it up to your doctor.

So, I was getting a bottle of water out of my fridge, and it slipped out of my hand and landed on the top of my foot. It hurt so bad it made me nauseous.

I can put weight on it, but it still hurts pretty bad, so I am icing it. I really hope it's just bruised.

I'm thinking I might have (had) whooping cough. I may be being a hypochondriac as it's been in the news here recently and most of the confirmed cases are actually in Scotland/NI. But I've had a really bad cough anyway, coughing to the point of nausea. And most of the other cold-y symptoms have past and I'm still coughing like a pro. I know it's more likely a cute bronchitis (if only that wasn't my only cute feature). Either way my lungs are dying and the rest of me feels just dandy.
Not seeing the doctor as I don't have time. I'm not really after suggestions, just wanted to get it off my chest...

If you had whooping cough you wouldn't just cough until you threw up, you'd cough so hard you couldn't breathe. I've had it twice. Nearly died the first time! I used to turn blue trying to catch my breathe. It's awful.

Damn, from what I'd been reading it seemed to manifest like that in kids but not adults so much. Extreme sympathy like :s

Yeah the first time I was...16 or 17. I was the oldest case they saw in my town when we had an epidemic. Then I got it again when I was in college (thanks to sisters that were in high school when a second epidemic went through). First time was the worst, but the second time wasn't great. The best part was the doctor who stood ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE ROOM when they finally diagnosed me. Way to make me feel better, guys.

A lingering cough like that could also be allergies. I always associated allergies with sneezing, but apparently they can give you a deep, lasting cough and make you super sick! My mom thought she was dying, but it turned out she was just allergic to EVERYTHING except dogs and cats. Seriously. Wool. Three of the four trees in her backyard. Pollen. Grass. AIR!

How's your foot doing today?

I know it shouldn't but this made me laugh (and set off the cough - probably karma for me laughing at your misfortune). Doctors should really know better than treating people like this though!

It's almost certainly some kind of infection that I've got as I had all the standard viral symptoms last week. If I've still got it by Christmas I'll see someone. I just feel bad as I've potentially infected at least one colleague, who's been of sick all this week (don't know what with).

Well, fuck. That might explain my chronic cough. Still doesn't bother me enough to do anything about it just yet though.

Cooking isn't a guarantee. My understanding is that there have been cases where CJD was transmitted to patients during brain surgery by surgical instruments, even though they were autoclaved.

That seems unlikely, given that Scotland is part of the developed world and you've probably had the DaPT vaccine.

Wait, what? Are you immune compromised?

The vaccine you get as a baby wears off by the time you're 12 or 13, according to all the newsletters they sent out, which is why when there was an epidemic in our town, it hit the high school the worst. And my immune system is fine, I'm just really lucky.

Except at winning the lottery.

I kept off it for the day yesterday, so I had to skip my hike, which made me pretty bummed out. It didn't feel too terrible, but I didn't want to mess it up and make me miss weeks of exercise.

Today I did some exercise on my Arc Trainer (which is pretty much zero impact) and it felt fine, I have a big bruise and a little swelling, but nothing too bad. I am going to definitely not hike until next week, though.

No kidding. I mean, is it a gas engine? Is it electric? Is that back seat actually designed for regular-size humans? Fucking Toyota, man.

Swimmer's Ear, isn't that just where water gets trapped in the ear canal, and then goes nasty after a while? I used to get water in my ear whenever I did flips underwater, and they tended to lead to ear infections, which definitely suck. I don't swim nearly as much, and never do flips underwater.

A lot of things can cause it - it's just inflammation and irritation of the ear, which can be from infection or abrasions or burns or whatnot.

If you go back and check, you'll see that the previous posters were referring to Kuru, which is also a prion disease. This is why I brought up CJD, another prion disease, as an example of why cooking the brains of your enemies is probably not going to save you from the shaking death.

Actually, we're in the middle of the worst outbreak in over 20 years in the UK.
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-s...lth-news/whooping-cough-epidemic-8369264.html

As Quackers says, the general consensus is that the vaccine wears off by the age of 12, but thats not normally a major problem as people who catch it after that age usually get much milder symptoms (except apparently if your Quackers).

Also I'm not actually in Scotland but London and therefore my inbuilt prejudices must force me to suggest that Scotland isn't really part of the developed world. (*hangs head in shame)

Has anyone gone to a doctor for TMJ pain and were they able to help? I am in agony here. I don't think I grind my teeth or clench my jaw but it doesn't seem like anything else other than trauma causes it.

Whenever I've tried to go to the doctor about it they point me in the direction of the dentist instead, who then says "That's definitely TMJ! Take some advil and we should probably fit you for a night guard. You have a really creaky jaw, my friend!"

I've only ever had it flare up REALLY BADLY once though. Took three days before I could open my mouth fully that time.

So to answer your question: No. Neither the doctor who wouldn't look at it nor the dentist who did helped.

Yeah, I kinda figured this was a "take two asprin and call me in the morning" kinda deal. Two of my coworkers just got night guards and had to pay $500 out of pocket. Irritating.

I had an NTI tooth guard for my TMD for several years and it did make a marked impact in my quality of life. Eventually, my jaw muscles recouperated enough and I must have learned to stop clenching at night because after about two years wearing it, I was able to cease doing so.

During that two years, for bad bouts, I'd take 800mg of ibuprofen about 2-3 times a day and sometimes muscle relaxants prescribed by my dentist. That would definitely take the edge off.

You have my sympathy, it's an awful pain to deal with. At its worst, just the act of moving my jaw would cause the joint to slip and make a discomforting clicking noise, and it would do it frequently. Now I can still get that noise to occur if I make some fairly unnatural jaw movements, and occasionally I'll need to massage my jaw to get a knot out of it, but for the most part, I have bigger frustrations with my body.

Ladies of this thread...help?

TLDR GET THE FUCK BETTER.

Not a lady, but as a chronic pain sufferer, I hope you find out what the hell is going on soon. All the feels (and PERCOCET!) until then.

P.S. Google thinks you are just pregnant, Speak. xD

THE ANSWER WAS OBVIOUS ALL ALONG.

(Srsly tho, I hope they are able to help you soon. Peace and healing to you <3)

Oh man, don't even start. Mom insists it's an ulcer; if she's trying to prove herself right by giving me one, KEEP IT UP, IT'S WORKING.

<3. Thanks, guys. I want to bake you all cookies.

Conclusion: wait until the morning, see if (a.) it's gone away on its own, (b.) it's resolved into a more consistent form, or (c.) I wake up in a giant pool of blood. Fun times!

That sounds awful, Speak. I hope you feel better tomorrow.

As for what's wrong, it sounds like a ruptured ovarian cyst to me. The first ultrasound could have been what ruptured it. Good thing is that they're fairly common and usually benign. However, I'm not a doctor so don't take my word for it.

Ay yi yi. So far, they think they've ruled out everything weird in the ovarian region - from six goddamn ultrasounds - but having done the research, that's actually not something ruled out yet. If it's actually been ruptured for three and a half weeks, I'm pretty sure something would have gotten infected by now...but I'll bring it up with the doctor during the next conversation. Which had better happen tomorrow, before about noon, or I'm pretty sure Mom is going to Hulk out on someone.

Thanks again, guys. Hopefully this will FINALLY get resolved (or at least diagnosed) very soon, and I can stop clogging up various threads with these issues. >.<

Edit: 90% sure this is just a week-early period brought on by stress. Pain is getting to about a seven even through the Percocet. I would be all over the idea of killing something, if I could get up without intense swearing. Graaaaaaahhhh.