The Really F%@#!^* Stupid Things You See People Post Thread

I kind of envision you as Rowdy Roddy Piper from They Live. Instead of sunglasses, you have MASSIVE HEADWOUNDS that let you see how it works.

So logically I guess you need to hit people in the head over and over until they see the light.

Retrophrenology! You inflict lumps on people's skulls to fine-tune their personality!

So with the mentions of various martial arts foo in another thread, I was tempted to google "side suto" to see what turned up.

The number one answer on the board...

For over six minutes in an alleyway, obviously.

Fuck it, I'm gonna work on my suplexes tomorrow.

That machfive sure was an immature asswipe. I'm glad he doesn't come around anymore.

I think I'm missing some backstory...

I need a stronger hint.

Have you ever seen Ryan and machfive in the same room together? Have you noticed that Ryan always wears those goofy glasses around the newsroom?

Ryan : butterfly :: machfive : caterpillar

I'm going to share something so terrible that you may not be able to finish reading it: the first pages of this book. I couldn't make it past the first three pages of the introduction. It was written by my aunt, who is a complete religious nutcase. and I do mean nutcase. I hope she someday publishes the children's book she wrote, because HOLY SHIT BUGFUCK CRAZY. (And this is coming from someone with severe mental illness.) Also? HILARIOUS.

Feel free to laugh at her. I do.

It's cool to see evidence on the internet that people can actually grow up and change.

Well, not Chet obviously. But...

He was also super into alchemy. Name-dropping a seventeenth century 'scientist' won't make your Bible drivel magically the truth.

Edit: also, this is pretty fucking funny

Lizzy, I wish more than anything that I could share some of the quotes from her children's book. I really do. But way back when Dad sent me the text, he made me swear not to share. Let's just say that when Lucifer and God fought, it destroyed some of the planets and that's why Saturn rotates on its side. (Yes, Saturn.) Also, "God" is a family name, like "Williams". There's Jehovah God and the Word God, and they agree on everything.

Like I said -- crazy shit.

HOLY CRAP. How did I not know this after all this time.

Yeah, same here. How old was he then? 12?

Yeah, wow. Did that come out on the forum somewhere? Also, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I didn't know that either. Anyway, that's fine by me. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt anyway, sometimes to a fault, as Mark A will attest!

...

I just don't know...

That's also not a Glock.

If you have the space to pull a gun how did you know he was a rapist? Did he knock and announce himself?

HEY RYANMM, WHICH EB?

That's a different five.

Is "urinate on yourself" a liberal anti-rape tip?

Apparently there's some thing going around about how someone on some university campus advised women to urinate or vomit in order to get away from a rapist.

Considering that most of the women's self-defence programs I'm familiar with emphasize "GET THE FUCK AWAY" over beating the shit out of your attacker, it wouldn't be completely out of line to hear something like that, as bizarre as it might sound.

I believe this is the same technique used by turkey vultures when they feel threatened.

Pretty sure snakes do the same thing too.

Who rapes a snake, honestly?

The same kind of people who rape horses? HE WANTED A GORGON BABY.

I think this has been around facebook for awhile. It still makes me rage everytime I see it though.

SOOOOO MUCH STUPID.

I feel like punching the original poster in the face. With facts. And my fist.

What did Fiona do to deserve to be dragged into this?

Because it's a bunch of nonsense invented by some asshole to make a ridiculous point.

You weren't thinking about it hard enough.

People are silly. I had a bunch of relatively smart people tell me that the proper response to someone pointing a gun at you and demanding your wallet is to draw your own weapon. Because that's somehow going to fucking work without them just shooting you because they've already got the advantage here. Seriously, "shoot the rapist" assumes you know the intent at a rather long range (close range, the act of drawing a weapon is probably just going to get you decked and your gun taken away, it takes a non zero amount of time to draw and ready your weapon)

I'm not a rapist, but I'm pretty sure you don't go about it by yelling down a street "You so fine, I'm going to come over there and rape you. Stay right there, I need to find a parking space!"

La Toya Jackson.

Jesus could!

Also, uh, stock splits, and stuff.

What the hell is everybody's problem? Look, grades are an EXACT METAPHOR for wealth:

1. You can exchange grades for goods and services.
2. You need a minimum amount of grades to survive.
3. You can accumulate more grades than you could ever reasonably expect to use in a lifetime.

You idiots would have failed my class. It's called LIFE.

Holy shit, Ryan was Machfive. That is hilarious.

So glad I know you much moreso in your new, adult identity ;)

4. Some people are born with a lot more grades than others.
5. Some people are denied higher grades for doing the same work because of who they are.